Jump to content
Create New...

Rand E

Members
  • Posts

    1980
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    20

Rand E last won the day on April 2

Rand E had the most liked content!

Profile Information

  • Age
    50
  • Location
    Los Angeles
  • Gender
    Male
  • Experience
    Regular
  • Role
    Both

Recent Profile Visitors

3634 profile views

Rand E's Achievements

Advanced Member

Advanced Member (3/3)

758

Reputation

  1. The only time my wife and I switch in the same session is when we are just playing around or calibrating with new implements. Otherwise, we adopt the ER/EE dom/sub roles in each session and stick to them. That dom/sub vibe once established in the session can be powerful enough even to last into the next day. And we both work hard on our dom and sub skills and take those skills seriously. Not that I seek spanking partners outside the marriage, but I like to think I can be good enough at it that I could be dom to a straight sub partner or sub to a straight dom without anybody being the wiser. We also found that switching back-and-forth in the same session just makes the whole process feel frivolous or even silly. It just doesn't feel genuine.
  2. My wife and I have a cooperative domestic-discipline arrangement. We are a long-time switch spanko couple for 25+ years, but the coDD arrangement is only within the last 4 years or so. My experience is that disciplinary spanking totally works. My wife and I use discipline to keep each other in line, and it has significantly reduced all the misbehavior that we sought to address with DD. We made rules based on the 4 D's, enforced by serious corporal punishment, and the rule breaks rapidly diminished, and in many cases, basically disappeared. For example, we used to lie to each other all the time (admittedly mostly me), without thinking anything about it. After taking a bunch of beatings for lying, I just learned not to lie to her any more. Period. Case closed. My wife used to make promises to me and then break them casually as if they meant nothing. Not any more. When I ask her to solemnly promise me something or make a commitment to me, she takes it with the proper seriousness it deserves, because ... consequences. But I will admit that I am only speaking from my own experience of a committed marriage - or perhaps a comparable dedicated LTR between 2 people - where both of you realize that you have to answer to each other, because you are a team, everything you do affects your partner, and you don't get to do just whatever the hell you want. I have no experience with more casual relationships such as a straight mentor disciplinarian ER and an EE who is more like his or her own worst critic about the bad behavior to be curtailed. But, I'm not saying that it would only work in a marriage or LTR setting. That's just what I have experience with. In fact, given the success I have experienced, I would be inclined to expect it to work in many different types of relationships. I get this feeling it works because it's a form of operant (instrumental) conditioning. The bad behavior gets associated with the unpleasant consequences, and your brain gets re-wired to avoid it as part of your natural behavior. But, having said all that, you don't need to take anybody's word for it. Go ahead and find those spanking or disciplinary relationships you are curious about and give them a try. You will learn what works for you and what doesn't.
  3. Rand E

    Roe V. Wade

    Well, we agree on one thing. But the Supreme Court has been a clown show for many decades. Nothing new here.
  4. Hi everybody. No number. He he.
  5. I hear you there. My wife and I have both found there is nothing quite as awesome as make-up sex after a disciplinary incident.
  6. The Spencer plan is the prototype or inspiration for modern cooperative DD arrangements. In some respects, it's a bit dated. I took it as sort of a starting point, but there were some things about it that really didn't seem to work for my wife and me. What about cooperative DD, especially in a committed long-term relationship? Would you never feel the urge to spank your spouse even for gross misbehavior?
  7. I put it out there on my "about me" profile. I'm in a committed marriage. I like to get on sites like this and chat with folks. My wife does not.
  8. Hey, AG, where are you? We've exceeded your prediction. A lot.
  9. Cooperative DD arrangements exist, but they do seem to be exceedingly rare. That perplexes me. One would think that most people have a mix of dominant and submissive traits. A cooperative DD arrangement can be fine tuned to recognize that, allowing the husband and wife to live both aspects of their personalities, rather than choosing one rigid dominant or submissive role and having to completely suppress the other. My question for you is, if you were to do it, what sort of DD arrangement would you prefer for yourself?
  10. If you are talking about disciplinary spanking (i.e. in a formal domestic discipline arrangement), based on chatting with couples on this and other internet fora, I would say more M/f than F/m. The problem is that not every couple doing DD is going to get on the internet and talk about it, so, I'm not working from any sort of statistically valid sample. My wife and I are switches, and we spank each other, both for fun, and for discipline. But the discipline is like maybe 2-to-1 me punishing her versus the other way round. We tried to make the rules fairly neutral by not making more punishable rules for misbehavior that she tends to engage in than me, but still, the ratio isn't 50/50. When that pattern emerged, at first I just attributed it to our respective dom/sub ratios. Although my wife has a definite dominant streak, my dom/sub ratio is higher on the dom side. Looking back, I have changed my mind about the reasons. The dom/sub ratios I mentioned are derived more from dom/sub role-play and sexual activity in the bedroom. But I don't think that necessarily translated to our day-to-day interactions outside the bedroom. My wife is just more emotional and more stubborn about every conflict and disagreement we have. When my wife calls me out for a rule break, I swallow my pride. I try hard to submit unconditionally and take my medicine. Afterward, I take it to heart, quickly reducing or eliminating the bad behavior that caused the problem. My wife, on the other hand, has more problems learning to submit to my authority in various matters outside the bedroom. She can be stubborn, prideful and resentful, and would break rules more often before she finally internalized those rules and stopped the bad behavior. Of course, all of the above is inherent in the dynamics of a cooperative DD relationship which does tend to ebb and flow. For straight DD or FLR relationships, the dom/sub thing is baked in 100% at the start, and that would definitely be based on the dominant or submissive traits of the couple. My wife and I did cooperative DD because we were switches in the first place. Probably any spanking couple that tried out DD or disciplinary spanking would follow the same roles as already established in their erotic or recreational spanking activities.
  11. 116 I wonder whatever happened to AfterGeometry.
  12. Yes. These rules turned out to be really lop-sided in favor of the ER's. We're bound to win. Any year now.
×
×
  • Create New...
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search