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Rand E

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Rand E last won the day on June 11

Rand E had the most liked content!

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About Rand E

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/31/1972

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  • Age
    49
  • Location
    Los Angeles
  • Gender
    Male
  • Experience
    Regular
  • Role
    Both

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  1. It's hard for me to relate to this, given the cooperative DD arrangement I have with my wife. None of our family, friends, or acquaintances know about our DD relationship. We also follow strict rules that our DD relationship is confidential, so the idea that we would ever embarrass one another in some non-private settings, or discuss it with others without mutual consent, is completely out of the question. In fact, this confidentiality and mutual respect requirement is a cardinal DD rule itself, and if either of us were to break that rule, it would be all hell to pay.
  2. He must have been stationed in the tropics somewhere. All the lizards we get here in LA, of the non-human variety, are mostly small and amusing. The human lizards, not so much.
  3. Okay. I'm going to phrase this differently now. Who on this thread has NOT gotten their COVID vaccine yet? i understand if you have some kind of religious objection or whatever. I'm not going to hassle you about it. Some folks treat the sanctity and autonomy of their body very very seriously. I can live with that. But except for those sincere exceptions, most everybody on here should be vaccinated at this point. Where do we stand folks?
  4. The money looked real, but that is a mere quibble. Not sure what the overall message of the fat cat post was about.
  5. It seems like a lot of folks in spanking relationships have some form of written agreements, even if it's just the rules and consequences sort of list. But since there aren't any surveys out there, I can't tell if this is the majority of folks or not, just my conjecture from chatting with DD folks here and on the domestic-discipline.net site.
  6. I agree that having a good structured arrangement keeps things under control and helps ensure both parties are in agreement. The consensus among the folks at the DD site I participate in, perhaps the DD folks on SN forum here too, definitely favors getting the agreement in writing, as you have done. Although my wife and I don't have it in writing, our DD arrangement is reasonably well structured and understood between us. I gave it a lot of thought, but I just couldn't make a written agreement fit our situation.
  7. I agree with you on the problematic nature of a consensual non-consent arrangement, and I am not inclined to encourage it for the reasons you stated. As near as I can tell, lots of DD couples make it work, although I suspect there are other dynamics that act as a safety valve there, especially since they tend to be long-term or married relationships. On the other hand, I would be curious to learn how often the DD relationship is raised in legal matters stemming from when those couples break up. My wife and I have rough patches, and when we do, it crosses my mind to think about what woul
  8. Yes. I wish there was clearer legal guidance on consent out there. The statutes (as usual) are not much of a guide, and unfortunately, the case law to the extent that it exists on this topic is mostly just a hot steaming mess. The only applicable generalization I would venture to make on the topic is that the validity of consent seems often to hinge largely on the definition of serious or severe harm. What is considered serious or severe harm? No way to know for sure until you get the verdict, and then, of course, it is too late. But I would guess that, if you are doing outrageous BD
  9. Thank you so much for being so forthcoming about your experiences and how they relate to this topic. You insights are worth far more than 2 cents!
  10. Just curious, but have you documented your understanding with your mentor in writing, or do you rely on discussions you have had concerning the details. Just asking, because I'm interested in how many couples or partners put it in writing. And in both cases, written or verbal, how detailed do these agreements or understandings get?
  11. Yes. I agree 100% with you. To say this isn't simple is to put it mildly. And although I think it is still an important topic in the context of non-disciplinary spanking, as you noted, it is even more important topic in the context of disciplinary spanking.
  12. Could be an interesting threesome depending on the referee.
  13. Get it in writing? This topic of consent, I have given it a lot of thought. The reason I want to discuss it here is to see if there is any consensus of opinion on these matters among the folks here on SN. The best possible thing we could do is figure out some good basic rules of thumb as guidance for anybody starting a spanking relationship. Is there a consensus to be had on any of these practices? So, I have an important specific question: How many of you on the forum here have drafted a written agreement concerning your spanking arrangement (spanking, DD, BDSM, pro-or-amateur
  14. It sounds like you and your ER had a very thorough discussion about the terms and conditions of your arrangement, although I take it you did not put it in writing. Nevertheless, I am of the opinion that you can reach a substantial meeting-of-the-minds by having that dialogue and reviewing all the details. As I mentioned earlier, I don't feel that putting the agreement in writing is always advisable, but I am unsure and ambivalent on that point. I didn't do anything in writing with my wife, but I have reasons for that, some of which I could share here, and some of which are strictly pri
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