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Posts posted by ukspanko

  1. I’ve had real issues with my temper of late. I nearly got into a fight in public the other day when someone on one those electric scooters nearly knocked me over. I chased him on foot and had to stop myself retaliating. Stupid I know. I just have so much pent up anger inside. I’m normally a very shy quiet person but once I get mad at something I’m dreadful. It makes me feel sick inside as I’ve had first hand experience of what random street violence is like.

  2. Yesterday I got into work nearly 90 minutes before we were due to open to the public. We’re running an annual event which involves co-ordinating volunteers and obviously this year the added stress of dealing with the pandemic. I regularly only take half my lunch and don’t eat well. I have to force myself not to keep checking work emails our of hours ( there’s no expectation for me to do that ) and mistakes I make prey on my mind. I don’t get paid a huge amount but I like my colleagues 99.99 percent of the time and feel terrible if things go wrong. The thing is I don’t know if I’m just passionate about my job or am showing signs of workaholism. The other day I had a day off and even then attended an online meeting. I appreciate loads of people are going through similar but just don’t know how hard I should keep going. 

  3. When I was working with my first mentor the first implement she used was actually a large gents carpet slipper. Although she didn't know it at the time it was a very emotional moment for me as I had a lot of repressed guilt at the time over an incident in my chilhood where I was very naughty ( I was 10 and had a tantrum in the back of the car ) and I came very close to my Dad spanking me. In the morning when I was going to school I noticed his slipper out on a chair. Maybe a coincedence but that implement had a real sense of deserved but undelivered punishment to it. Anyway the context of my adult spanking was different but it felt right to have it whacking down on my bare backside.

  4. When I was seeing my first therapist who was an older motherly type lady I had a dream where I was a child again. She appeared as my headmistress and chastised me. There was nothing overtly sexual in it but I did find it embarrasing so didn't mention it until our final session. She was surprised but ok with it. We did a little bit of EMDR work around it but its something I'm going to talk about with my new therapist in September.

  5. On 7/9/2021 at 1:30 PM, Cheeks4Weeks said:

    Does anybody use non-impact tools? Like a spiked circulation mat or capcaisin cream?

    Do you find anything like that effective, or does it have to be impact? I kind of like the cream, because I can't undo it. If I'm hairbrushing myself, I can stop when it hurts too much, unlike with a real spanker. Sigh.


    I recenly acquired an EMS footmassager. Positioned down the back of my underwear on the full setting ....it gets pretty uncomfortable after a couple of minutes.


    • Haha 1
  6. Also this just my own experience and as someone who is now just about to start training as a therapist myself. When I went into therapy in the 00s although I knew it was going to come up I  didn't want to talk about spanking - in my case because it was bringing up complex feelings around my childhood. My therapist asked me completely out of the blue if I'd ever been punished that way growing up. Initially it was very hard for me to talk about it but I persisted and eventually it really opened up therapy for me and not just the spanking issues. I can also relate to your anxieties about crying and losing control. I really do wish you the best with this and you are very welcome to pm me. Obviously I won't offer advice but I am happy for you to ask me questions about my own experiences of being in therapy.

    • Like 1
  7. I’m due to start seeing a new therapist in September as part of the requirements of the Transactional Analysis ( type of counselling) course I’m doing. I’m going to set out fairly early on that I’m happy with being an adult spanko and don’t want that over analysed or criticised. The last lady I saw was really good.

  8. I’ve been thinking about this myself. I’m using my deputy manager as a good example here. People including myself can be a bit cheeky towards her but we know when and where not to cross the line. She will support and discipline where appropriate but never shows favouritism or vindictiveness. She has a great sense of humour, admits her mistakes and mucks in with everyone. To me that’s a good relationship with an authority figure. It’s built on time, experience and character. 

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