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Everything posted by ukspanko

  1. And then you get folks like me where's there a complex mix of the 2. I used to try and deny one in favour of the other but now I realise I need both in my life.
  2. I get stressed sending work e-mails sometimes. I want to maintain a professional approach without being too stiff but always worry about being too verbose or coming across as curt. I also find making telephone calls ( even to my parents ! ) nerve-wracking. Oddly enough I'm fine with Skype/zoom type calls ..
  3. I'm happy to say that I've managed to make ( as such ) my perfect self-spanking chair. I recently acquired a recliner - when pushed all the way forward with a couple of pillows to raise my bottom up in the air it allows me to feel like a naughty boy when I'm self-spanking.
  4. Yes - from experience when a session went dangerously too far. I won't play without one. The only time I ever had to use in ( prior to the session that turned into an assault ) was in a general bdsm scene - in that case it wasn't a spanking situation but where the Mistress was ticking my feet and I used it as I she was about to knock over her vase. In a spanking situation I would try not to use it and let the punishment flow properly but in a situation such as the assault where I nearly got seriously injured ( the paddle hitting my balls and kidneys ) I insist on one now. I don't give a stuff if the spanker says they know what they're doing. The woman who assaulted me said she knew what she was doing - she didn't.
  5. We have a daily tasks timetable at work. On one occasion one of my fellow team leaders - a lady who has a reputation for being firm but fair with staff was down for "banking" at 9 am - before that she was down for "SP" - which stands for ships processing ( an admin task where I am ) - let's just say when I initially looked it I didn't see the "b" and went bright red...She saw me looking at it and said "Well I am always looking for ways to get you lot to behave..."
  6. Over underpants to start with hand or slipper and then bare bottom for the hairbrush, cane, belt etc.
  7. I think mine was seeing pictures in a Disney book when I was a child from the 1939 short "The Practical Pig". This featured a lie detector which gave bare bottom hairbrush spankings and washed your mouth out with soap. I remember being equally scared and fascinated by the idea. I had a hand spanking over a female teachers knee when I was six in front of the class for leaving without permission and I think that and the picture book cemented it for me.
  8. She helped me last night imagine a scenario where I was punished for something I felt I got away with as a child. I cried at the end because the feeling of guilt being lifted was amazing. It's something I had considered in the past going to see a male spanker to act out but I realised there were so many facets to my experience that creating an alternative story for myself in this case actually works better. We're also working on helping me to enjoy my adult spanking fetish again following some bad experiences I had about 10 years ago.
  9. An East end pub about 15 years ago at a fetish party bent over the bar with a female spankee friend next to me - both of us with our underwear around our knees getting out bottoms strapped by our Mistress at the time. I miss playing on the scene. I met some genuinely lovely people. For those who know I used to attend The Firm and Club Subversion as well as the London Fetish fair and Coffee, Cake and Kink.
  10. I find my spanking memories which are mostly all near misses or things I saw or heard rather than experienced vary in how they effect me. Some genuinely upset me because they bring up emotions around family issues which went well beyond how I was or wasn't disciplined. Others make me smile - for instance the time 2 girls I was friends with in sixth form ( 16 - 18 ) had this ongoing joke where they kept sending each other notes signed "Mrs Mabel Bottomwhacker" ...😆
  11. I remember about 10 years ago going into subscape after a paddling. I was enjoying the sensation of my sore bottom so much whilst sitting on the central line ( subway/underground line in London that runs from East to West that I landed up going in completely the wrong direction !
  12. At work whilst dressed as a bee - long story....
  13. I think I’ve started to accept that I was born this way. I just happened to be growing up at a time in the UK when corporal punishment was still fairly common. That coloured my fetish but didn’t cause it.
  14. I'm in the UK as well - another Essex geezer !
  15. I was spanked by a teacher one time but never by my parents. However it was threatened on more than one occasion ( I was a spoiled brat to be honest ). The closest I ever came to a proper over the knee spanking from my Dad was when I was about 10. I'd been generally misbehaving that week and things had culminated in me being rude to him in public. I was threatened with being "belted" although I had no idea if he meant a smacked bottom or if he meant using the belt on me. The thing is even though he'd never spanked me before it was always at the back of my mind that one day I might do something to warrant a proper bare bottom spanking. When we got home I was sent to my room although it didn't feel like a punishment. I remember hearing my parents discussing what should be done about my behaviour and although I didn't catch every word I was aware my Dad wanted to spank me. I remember feeling nervous but understanding that I would have deserved it. A few minutes later my Mum came in ( to my surprise ) who gave me a lecture on how I'd upset my Dad and that I was very lucky compared to how many other little boys fathers would have acted. I asked her if he was going to do anything ( meaning was he going to give me a spanking ). She said "not this time". It took me a long time to accept that I did genuinely want him to spank me and I did land up fantasising about that in the years to come.
  16. I’ve recently started seeing a kink friendly therapist ( via zoom ) and it’s made such a difference. Having someone accept that my spanking fetish without having to justify it has been liberating.
  17. Being open here - I went through abuse/bullying as a kid so I'm not always comfortable around my sexuality although if I had to label myself I'd call myself bi-curious. In all honesty though my sex drive is very low and I ruin every relationship I've been in. Outside of the spanko world I tend to be a very cold person unless you know me really well. I don't like people getting too close. Spanking is a bit different as I like the ritual of punishment more than anything else. I don't have the fear of having to give and take in a relationship.
  18. Reddening or bruising is fine but no breaking the skin or bleeding for me either way.
  19. The adult thing to do would be to show respect to your Mum for the person she is as as an adult and honour her personal boundaries.
  20. ukspanko

    This or That

    Yeah I'd forgotten how good The Orb etc were. I remember those tunes as a teenager - although back then I was a hardcore punker really and you stuck with your tribe. I always suspected the ravers were having more fun and later on when I first heard Jungle/Drum and bass I became much more open minded musically. It does get complex with all the UK rave genres but a good way ( perhaps ) of undertstanding dubstep and grime ( both of which branch off from D&B) is seeing dubstep as stadium rock and grime as punk. I probably go more towards the punk side of things but I like melody as well.
  21. ukspanko

    This or That

    Twinkies - We have a large American community where I live in the UK ( Fords main offices are here ) Grime or Dubstep ?
  22. I'm putting this here because this sometimes impacts on my mental and emotional health. I work with three people - one of whom is my line manager who all at times can be challenging to work with. Often I get conflicting messages from all three and when I go to act on what's been said I sometimes get my head bitten off. This isn't a new thing and I do try my best to stay calm at all times - not always easy as I'm prone to anxiety but I cope better now. I'm not in a position financially at the moment to leave work and I want to support my colleagues as we re-open the business after lockdown. I accept that I can't change how these 3 people are at times as in deed they can't change me. I'd really appreciate any ideas/thoughts people may have on working with challenging colleagues ( at any level ). This isn't at an HR/Union level but just ways of not letting these situations overwhelm me. I'm thinking proactively these days as well. Thanks in advance for all positive ideas.
  23. I don't know if I'd neccesarily want it to be the last one but I'd like to have a proper role-play punishment spanking for a number of incidents I feel I wasn't appropriately disciplined for growing up.
  24. I had someone do that to me once, so after a few minutes I turned round and said "Are you spanking me or dusting me ?"....
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