overherknee

you know that is never a bad idea really. Thanks

Did something happen while i was gone?

Indeed, well said.

Oh my gosh i must be so dense here, HUH??

how is this game played?

yes to public witnesses

what was it you said to get kiked

this guy sounds like he has no nuts.

My wife, Sister In Law, wife's hair dresser, her co worker, wifes Niece, Uncle Tom, uncle MG, brother scotty, My female doctor and her nurse or PA. and the neighbor has surly heard a few but he has never said anything. and then spanko friends here. Most listed have witnessed and or spanked.

Its not a matter of the intensity of the spanking though a longer session will tend to facilitate a cry if emotionally on edge or feeling guilty for not meeting the expectations of the spanker. And I need to have a bond with spanker, a sense of i let them down, they are disappointed in me. if im already close and a verbal scolding of a disapoin ted tone and narrative i can start to well up pretty quick and the spanking at some point will be the straw. JTH Seattle

Here is a document for handing your loved one, This was sent to me sometime ago, I cant recall from who. It may have been aunt K passed it along RIP Aunt K- or maybe Tommy her widowed husband and who i like and respect very much, anyway its good info. Advice for Wives / Girlfriends I know. Talk about weird. He wants you to actually spank him! This page is for you. The wives and girlfriends of men who crave to be spanked. I get so many emails from male blog followers asking desperately what they can do to get their significant others to spank them. So I thought I would put up a page here for the partners of such men to assist with their research. Important to realize that this craving of his is only one aspect of his personality. We all have both submissive and dominant aspects to us. I believe that if you think you only have one of those, you are just unhealthily suppressing the other. This page is exclusively about Domming him. Who am I? I am a wife who was in exactly the same situation as you at one point. Out of the blue my husband asked me to spank his bottom. I tried it and liked it. So while it is mostly based on our real-life experiences, I have been known to take liberties at times. It also tends to give a bit of perspective of our relationship, covering of only the relatively small part of our lives that is "playtime" as if it was more than it is, and more "real-life" than it is. As a further word of caution for those of you that decide to explore. You'll find david and I occasionally share our playtime with others- the domestic discipline equivalent of a threesome (but without the sex, just the spanking). We do this in a safe, trusting, consensual way, and it suits us. There are many others whom it does not suit, and the important thing is that you do only and exactly what makes you comfortable (and him). If he complains to you "but Julie does it!" you can tell him that for all he knows "Julie" is an Internet fantasy wife and then spank him extra hard. With that preamble and caution out of the way, let's dig in! The first thing you need to do is please don't worry: you're not alone and he's not a freak. There are many "perfectly normal" men who have this interest. Try googling "women spanking men". The vast quantity of material should give you pause. In fact, men with this fetish tend to be smart and successful in my experience, and lead very normal lives. When my husband asked me to spank him it was no idle experimentation on his part. He had been fantasizing about this act, and related acts of domestic female dominance, since he was a kid. It is extremely important to him. While he obsessed over it more and more, at the same time he kept it hidden from me, his wife, his life partner, for years out of shame and worry about how I would react, how I might think less of him "as a man". He finally plucked up the courage to just ask for it. I, apparently, reacted in a way that is not so common. I was not horrified. I did not belittle him. I did not lose respect for him. I did not brush it off. I did not minimize it. I took his needs seriously, and I seriously tried my best to satisfy them. We tried experimenting, I asked him lots and lots of questions about it, and I did my research online. I practiced and got feedback from him. We talked a lot about his turn-ons and turn-offs. I worked at it. I made the time. Ladies, it's not anything nearly as simple as you might imagine. I eventually found out what makes him tick and now he is getting what he needs and loves me all the more for giving it to him. I also found I had a much more attentive husband on my hands, in life so I am a believer. If you are a girlfriend or wife whose partner asked you to view this page, I really urge you to read what I say and use some of the resources I reference below. I also urge you to understand that your partner's needs are very real, very important to him, and will not go away, and will make him miserable if he's asked to continue to suppress them. As strange as that seems, I'm dead serious. Here is an excerpt from one of the resources I cite below. It is from Jackie Castro's book "Sex, Fetish, and Him": You might wish that his fetish would simply disappear. Many partners mistakenly believe that if they ignore or don't acknowledge their man's fetish needs, they will eventually go away. No matter how much you want to ignore it, this is not the case. [...] [...] Time and time again, in working with fetishists, I've seen that fetishistic sexuality is deeply ingrained. Even though many feel ashamed of their desires, they also derive a great deal of satisfaction from their personal fantasies. Reprogramming is damaging, rejecting and highly judgmental. The message he gets is that he's "broken" and needs to be "fixed". I'm suggesting something more radical and ultimately more beneficial to you and your relationship [...]. Why not embrace and learn about an aspect of your man's sexuality which might actually enhance the bond between you and your mate? Why not accept what's been lying dormant inside your partner and join him in a unique but bonding form of his personality. You, as his partner, have an amazing ability to literally "wave a magic wand" and get a much more fulfilled and happy mate. In my opinion that is reason enough to put some honest, genuine, and diligent effort into helping him to fulfill these needs whether it turns your crank or not - you do love him after all. You also need to do it properly if you're going to do it at all. Men pick up on it when it's obvious that their partners are doing it only grudgingly, wishing they did not have to. If you do it, you need to never project this, and learn to do it well and pretend you are into it even if you are not. You are more than capable of that. But, perhaps your experience will mirror my own, and you may actually find that you have fun doing it. Lots of fun. Of course I enjoy being so essential to my man, and I love him and will do anything for him. Anything. But beyond that I feel I have worked out some issues of my own around power and male-female relations and have become more assertive and confident as a result. I also just enjoy the act itself, and get turned on by wielding this power over my man. I also am much more confident about telling him exactly what I need in the bedroom as part of our dominant wife / submissive husband roleplay. As a result, under my strict guidance he has honed certain "talents" he was lacking before. There are plenty of fringe benefits to this spanking thing! And once you commit to his specific needs in this spanking him the way he specifically needs you will become a powerful goddess in his mind when playing dominate wife submissive husband or not. These benefits will be revealed. So, yes, from time to time I do dominate him and enjoy it. But please understand that it is not a 24x7 thing for us. In my experience certain men have a tendency to really fixate on something and go completely overboard. To each their own and I do not judge, but in the case of my husband and I, I do not feel that would be healthy for us. I also have little patience for when he deliberately "misbehaves" to goad me into spanking him. That's more like blackmail: "unless you give me the spanking I want, I'll keep acting like that!" That is called bratting and should not be tolerated. Because of these tendencies that I observed in my man, one of my conditions was that when we were not playing, we would be a healthy normal couple. He would take his responsibilities as a husband and man seriously, including on the sexual end when that is what I want from him, and never "misbehave" deliberately to earn a spanking. I find that we can switch it on and switch it off. In fact, I insist we switch it on and switch it off. I did not marry a child, or a sissy, or a wimp. I married my man with some teen boy tendencies and there is not a man alive without those teen personality traits, lets face it we women are the naturally more mature of our species. And they know it. That is part of his desire in his love for you is to see you in your naturally mature and powerful in charge state as nature is set right at that moment in his eyes. And he is correct. Playtime, That is the time he gets to fulfill his fantasies and needs. When we play, he is not in charge of anything. I call all the shots. I do this from a position of being very well informed about his desires, and benefiting from the feedback I elicit from him from previous play sessions. We have found that this is enough to "tame the beast" of his fetish. Acting it out during playtime allows him to express this side of himself, and keeps him happier and mentally healthier the rest of the time as well. He was able to stop taking all his meds permanently for moments of depression. By "playtime" don't imagine that we go down to the basement and get out the whips and chains. He is in fact not excessively turned on by the "leather clad mistress with a whip". Of course, that's sexy to him, but he is much more turned on by the fantasy of his wife dressed in her regular clothes spanking his bottom with her hairbrush for misdeeds. He might find the other thing sexy, but this very simple thing is what he craves. And he actually most fantasizes about ME doing it, not some fantasy girl he saw on the Internet. Sometimes we deviate from this and do traditional roleplays during playtime: teacher and naughty student, nurse and patient, cop and juvenile delinquent, that sort of thing. This is fine if you enjoy the play-acting, but I know many women who do not. Fortunately for such cases, by far our most frequent roleplay is a role that requires very little acting on either of our parts: strict wife and submissive husband. Our "props" are undone chores around the house, excessive spending, a smart mouth, a traffic violation, embarrassing me in the store or in front of my female friends, and so on; the venue is anywhere around the home (and sometimes even outside of it!); and the time is very spontaneous as far as he's concerned, whenever I decide to start in on him (though you do need to work to make the time). For him it's vitally important that the playtime "blend in" to our domestic life together, and I accommodate that need. We don't ever play when we are genuinely upset with one another, or to resolve a difference of opinion. And I don't use subjects as props that are in any way controversial: for example, honest disagreements between us. Like any couple, we deal with those things as best we can by talking them out and sometimes shouting them out. These are not the subjects of our playtime. For us, on the other hand, a good example of a playtime subject is dirty dishes in the kitchen. Neither of us is terribly hung up over this, and I'm as liable to clean it up as he is. It's not a source of tension in our relationship in the slightest. I find he's very responsible with such things, even more so than me in fact. And that's what makes a "filthy kitchen" such a good prop for a spontaneous domestic playtime scene. Fringe benefit: I don't have to clean the kitchen that day or even feel guilty about not doing it. Hubby gets to. With a spanked bottom before and after. And showing off his bare buns in nothing but an apron and as he stands at the sink doing the dishes by hand thank you very much. Now Lets be clear there are defiantly times when he is getting disciplined for breaking rules we have both established, An overly filthy mouth seems to be a constant for my husband, as well as some impulse control issues in public at times. So, in these instances we discuss the fact that something has happened and that he should face the consequences and he agrees and so it goes. In this time and our play time scolding is so important girls, Not an angry tone, it’s the calm in charge tone they will respond to and it keeps their mind from wondering while being spanked. “When you act the way you did I’m going to spank your bottom till its bright red young man, I will not tolerate this, Do you understand me?” Engage him and make him say he is going to be spanked, what I mean by this is an example would be, “and just what is going to happen when you act like XYZ or Do XYZ? Honestly if you can get into a male’s head with scolding and use the spankings as the consequence you will see results, a spanking alone will not have nearly the change in behavior you’re looking for. Scolding however should only be applied during a punishment moment, If you scold In your daily walk it will be perceived as bitchy and overbearing and he would be correct. But during any form of discipline it’s a must, And as for maintenance spankings to keep him on track and nothing specific light reminder of “what will happen if you fail to respect me or what is going to happen if I DO catch you swearing at me?” A male should never have the slightest hint of an erection, Ladies this is important during a discipline time, if you allow even the hint of an erection the spanking will take on a sexualized connotation to it, he knows this in his mind and he cant control the erection, its natural and so is what your needing to do with it. You need to instruct him to take care of it with his hand in front of you, And while he masturbates you should be scolding him as when he releases the pent up energy you have him at his most vulnerable and he will be docile and obedient, you have to try this and see the results, Don’t think you are making him do something he does not already do twice or more times a day already, Ask him to tell you how many times a day he sneaks off to the bathroom to masturbate, Go ahead, Turns out they all do this from the age of 12 on to the day they die. Your dad does it and my dad and our husbands do it so make him do it in front of you, You will wield no stronger influence over a male than when you make him do this and then demonstrate you are in in control with words of confirmation. Or if you really want to own the moment Ladies, you do it. And then proceed with the spanking, the spanking after the release will be the most effective spanking with real change you will ever deliver and if you are wanting change dont go about it half way, if you have his pants down and ready to be spanked for bad behavior then do it correctly and make him have a full release and get the results you want.. Trust me here on this. For fear of repeating myself, The slightest bit of his little pee wee even pointing any direction but down is reason to make him release, or if a wet spot is on the tip that is always the sign ladies, If a man has erectile dysfunction from meds or other issues then it’s the wet spot on the tip you have to be aware of, He is your man reach down and touch it if its wet don’t spank until that is taken care of. Some of you know this already. For those that did not, well now you are well informed. There is no more a man obedient and learning his lesson than the one that you “make” release. Its your power of “making” him do it or you doing it that establishes in his mind, that you indeed are fully in charge. These are the sorts of things that work for us, but your mileage may vary. I know from my blog that different men crave subtly different things: subtle to us, perhaps, but vitally important to them. Men can get very fixated, and that is part of their charm. Therefore, it is very important to sound out your man and discover what precisely he is craving. Then orchestrate playtime around that but without being a slave to that, and afterwards get his honest feedback (some men might even prefer to write out a letter with their feedback). You can then modify things next time around. This is getting feedback, and it's critically important. We delineate our playtime, and the time for feedback and suggestions is before and after playtime, never during, except in very tightly controlled ways using what are called "safe words". Safe words are typically "red" and "yellow" and are words he can use during a scene. If he says "red" we must end session whether it is real punishment or semi real of giving him what he needs, we stop and discuss what is going on. And playtime is entirely over for that day. He can't call red, and then go back to playing. Incorporate some of the behavioral issues with the less intense sessions, If he says "yellow" we continue to play or punish him. That's a clue to me that I am going too hard, beyond what he feels he can take at that moment. I can choose to react to that or not. For me it was very freeing having that as a gauge as to how hard is hard because he could take a lot more than I imagined he could. Though for some couples it can be the opposite. And it's complicated, because sometimes he could take more and sometimes less, even during the same session. He wants me to push his limits, but it's hard to know where those are at first without the "yellow" safe word because him "struggling" to get away and begging for it to stop is part of his role that needs to be played out, and I kind of like him begging for it to stop and him fidgeting. Its very cute as well empowering for us. After a couple of years, we stopped using "yellow" as I became very attuned to his vocalizations, struggles, and shifting limits. We always keep the "red" safeword for safety's sake, though he has not had cause to use it. If your man does crave a more intense spanking experience, it's very fortunate how perfectly engineered the human bottom is for absorbing punishment without injury! All the nerve endings are right near the skin, but the butt has nice thick layers of fat and muscle underneath to ensure that even hard spankings with fierce looking implements leave no lasting damage. I know that even though he is struggling to "take it", five minutes after it's over he'll be dancing around happy as a clam, and all the pretty marks I have left on his butt will miraculously fade within a day or two leaving a pristine white canvas I can paint on again and again. And bless his little heart, but this is exactly what he craves. Feel free to start slow, however, and build up. Even if you never choose to go as hard as I do with my man, your man will still thank you for it. If you do want to go hard (and that is what he wants as well), I have some good guidebooks below for you to read. For many couples, private spanking playtime satisfies his needs and is within his comfort zone. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with stopping there. You are already going above and beyond. However, there are some more extreme things one can get into. I tend to go for the extreme myself, as I am a bit of an adrenalin junky. In case you are too, I'll get into it a little here more of the kind of mischief we get up to! A couple of these things is "forced cross-dressing" where I "make him" put on women's undies as "punishment" (he loves it, my little perv), and "public playtime" where I do something naughty outside of the home with other women bystanders present. In fact, I like combining those two things, for example by taking him out panty shopping making it clear the panties are for him (!) or dragging him to Victoria's Secret to have him fitted for a bra with breast forms (!!). That one is described without embellishment in Bra Fitting at Victoria's Secret. You would be absolutely amazed at how accepting the salesladies are with it. My husband was sooo embarrassed! And lest you fear we are offending innocent bystanders, I have found the opposite to be the case. Many women get a real kick out of seeing a wife "putting her husband in his place". It's just good fun and he loves it and hates it. And what with all this lingerie shopping you might think that my husband is a closet cross-dresser. He is anything but! He "hates" it, meaning that he gets off on my power over him of me "making him". If he felt normal and comfortable in women's clothes, what would be the fun in that? So yes, he does get spanked in his bra. or stood in the corner in his pretty stockings and garter belt. It might be freaky, but I think it's all good fun. A woman spanking a man inherently messes with gender stereotypes, and the forced cross-dressing is a part for us “more out there gals”. As I mentioned in the intro, the other "extreme" thing we do is to involve other women in our playtime. I have hired professionals, won over an old coworker who lives in our vicinity. Shew has now begun spanking her husband and reports a much happier home where it once was not for sure. And even involved my very strict proper sister and some very good friends. If you do choose to do something like this you need to pick partners in crime you feel you can trust completely. I get a charge out of showing off my dominance over my husband like this. He, on the other hand, is incredibly embarrassed to have his spankings witnessed, but also incredibly attentive to me in a very agreeable fashion for weeks after I spank him in front of my sis or another woman and it’s usually for behaviors I want him to stop, and when he is spanked for a behavior in front of a third party that behavior is fixed, we have an agreement that if I go through that trouble of convincing a woman from the store for instance to follow me home to witness his consequence’s for embarrassing me in the store then one he has to go through with it and never refuse the spanking or I wont ever arrange it again, 2. as well that the behavior that got him in trouble would have to be fixed permanently, for instance, He at times would use the F word and I will tolerate some cussing when he is with the boys, Fine I don’t like it but he is with the boys its there time not ours, However he used the f word at the local super market one to many times causing a gal in line with us to turn around a shoot me ME! A look. I asked her if that bothered her and it did so I hand her a card with just my first name and number written on it and ask if she would help a fellow sister in correcting this behavior in a man once and for all, If a hint of intrigue is present I ask her if she would call me anytime to arrange a stop over and I will guarantee he apologizes to her and it will be sincere. Well the third woman finally did call and that evening stopped by the next day totally surprising and shocking him, that was 6 years ago and I have never heard the F-word from his mouth since, And she has been by a couple of times to witness and correct some other issues permanently, if he promises you he will stop doing one thing, and stop it for ever if spanked in front of another woman and you will be affirming his desire to have it known you are his powerful wife, its about your power and others seeing you exercise that power, this is his true desire. Heck even a carefully spoken word in front of other ladies at the store where one or more can for sure hear you say “When I get you home im going to spank your bare butt till you cant suit little mister do you understand me?” and expect a “yes ma am” He will adore you for this, not even having to spank him, just try this ladies make sure other women hear it perfectly. You will be shocked at his behaviour. These things are all pretty common in all their minds ladies. It's unlikely all of you women will feel comfortable doing all these things, but you should make an effort to try them at least once and try to be real about it. Youi will get new behaviors from your man. Now I'm a bit wild myself so I love it all and then some, and there seems to be no limit to the amount of embarrassment that my husband craves. And ladies look! If your comfort zone does not even extend to giving him a spanking in the privacy of your own home then, not to put too fine a point on it, I think you should just suck it up, Princess, put on your Big Girl panties, and give your man what he needs! Below this read Is a resource you can access to learn more, so please look into it. I make it a point NOT to endorse or recommend books or material on this subject as there are so many with the wrong take, most are centered in the wrong place. The clouds, and by that I mean they come from a sexually driven BDSM Leather clad Mistress with a whip place and motive, Let there be no mistake here ladies, Spanking and its desire by a select few men is not a sexually motivated desire from its source, Now all men can and will sexualize everything from a donut to a 57 chevy, and spanking is somewhere in the middle and so sure allot of men will have interleaved a sexual desire with spanking some more some less, But a true spanko, that is a person the legitimately desirers the act of spanking in form of discipline and learning of himself through the process of breaking the gender stereo type, is the spanking of the mind not the stimulation of his genitals. This is why you would have him release before any spanking commences, believe you me, if it was sexually driven there is no way on earth or anywhere else he would be made to release himself when you order him to do so before anything starts, that would always come after all the spanking if this were a BDSM fetish, This is ultimately the dividing line ladies reviling to you from which he comes from, A True spanko or BDSM fetish, And Spanking is not a fetish, Its now recognized as a legitimate sub sect of therapy. So what I’m saying is that spanking is deep seeded in his core and if honest he will tell you that before any sexual desire can ever be had or understood by a male that as early as (5 years or so, +- 2 years) He will tell you that he was strongly drawn to be spanked and played spanking games with other kids. As in house and all the other games we all played, only he always orchestrated a way to be spanked or to spank, and there was always a counterpart ready to oblige. He did not understand it and probably it severely messed with his head for much of his life thinking himself a broken dirty pervert and scared to death to come out with it. I have heard this without fail of every single SPANKO male I have interviewed, telling me the same story from childhood, EVERY single one of them. Aprox thousands. Not one time has it been any different. Ask him, he is obliged to be honest with you where this is concerned, it’s part of his submissive desire to be completely transparent to us on this subject matter. It’s part of the she owns me with her power over me segment. Ladies be patient with him he has never had the freedom or the permission to discuss this in detail, so he may come out with details in bursts of information as well he may be apprehensive, be encouraging and not to giggly and not to serious either, be disarming he is as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. (That is a quote from my husband) Even if you are presently spanking him if he brought you this to read it may well mean you are scratching the surface of something greater for both of you. Hey! Have you ever sat down with him and or asked him to write you out what a scenario really looks like in his mind, Do you pull his pants down or does he, do you put him in a corner or not, does he respond with ma’am or Miss insert last name here (usually madden name) Do you wash his mouth with soap? Do you perform maintenance spankings’ and if so, how often? Is it scheduled or is it random as you see fit? There are many details that make no difference to us but make the world of difference to each guy. And yours is no different. There is no wrong here there is no re-teaching him to not need a spanking, It's This power shift is explored every day by us all in different ways in life and this is just another one of those ways. Now for the men that have the spanking desires and it is born out of a sexual hormonal drive then it’s not discipline nor your feminine power truly realized they desire. What they seek is all fantasy and rarely will they ever come to experience a powershift as its only fantasy. If your man will not submit to a real spanking and will not “take care of that wet spot” when ordered to, then you know you have a BDSM desire not a Spanko on in your man. Nothing wrong with that either. Its just vastly different and needs to be approached very very differently and not by my experience’s, I have spent much honest work in coming to better understand my husband’s needs and have done a lot of the heavy lifting for us all. So please take what I offer and use it where it applies. Don’t think that his spanking needs will go away if ignored or halfheartedly approached. Do you take his medical needs seriously? or his deep internal fears seriously? Then take this issue just as seriously, It is a very real part of him and he loves and trusts you at a very deep level to come to you with this desire and if he handed you this article and or this is the first your hearing of it, breath and relax, talk to him, allow him to open up and listen and take notes. He wants you to ask him questions but he may not have all the answers as he truly won’t have some. Don’t mock him or belittle him unless you’re looking for him to be cautioned about ever opening up again. And like all things deep down in ourselves this is only a small part of his personality. But this small part will have a huge effect on how he ultimately shows his real self to you. This is the pathway to his center. He is most vulnerable when you are in charge and its beautiful if you keep your head on straight and play along for a few moments now and again, Like I said I started out not having any desire except just to please him on a very basic level, well I have come to be stronger and more confident at work, as well I’ll just say that don’t mind a bit blistering that butt of his for errant behavior. Let’s face it girls, they do have it coming now and again, and we are gifted and blessed to have that man who is man enough to accept his earned consequences where other so called men will not, EVER!. Are you kidding me!! Other women in relationships are envious of us wives with submissive husbands. The amount of rewarding benefits to the union that is your marriage will be tenfold the energy you put into his spanking needs. He wants to serve you and see you in an expression and display of your real feminine power that we all have naturally deep down or just on the surface often repressed by our up bringing and society as a whole. He is submissively inviting you take up that power and feminine energy. So enjoy, your both adults, well by law anyways, LOL. He has his child like moments, they all do. Spank the daylights out of that fannny of his and make him rub your feet or scrub your back in the tub or clip your toe nails. These are Just some of the fringe benefits, I happen to like him performing oral sex on me personally, Now that means no penis in me, and he is pleased to be pleasing me, If you have not tried it, long after any spankings call him in and put that boy to work down there, and he has become very obediently proficient in this area. LOL That’s just me and he loves serving me. He desires to serve you in his submissive modes. and he will, you just learn to come to the strange new place of enjoying the fact that he is enjoying serving you. I’d love to hear from you ladies how your experience’s have developed in this aspect of your life and relationships. Please share juliyspankshard@gmail.com or feel free to ask me anything you like. I read every single email and reply where appropriate and your emails are read and deleted and never posted or otherwise ladies. I’m just a gal with a day job like some of you and other than the paddle I keep in my purse to pull out and show briefly when other women can catch a glimpse, we are the same In this area of having a man who needs to be spanked and told so. As I said above this is one of the more powerful observations from his point of view and he will melt for you if you take your place in that strong form in front of your sister or a friend from work or strangers on the bus or at the store. OH!!! For my man and ill bet your as well the best is the Doctors office as he only has to see them on rare occasion but just enough that every time the nurse or female PA is around he turns beet red when I say “you do as she tells you or I will take out my paddle and blister your bare behind little mister” Making full sure the female nurse could clearly hear me “ You do as she says and behave in there or I will come in there pull your pants down and paddle your bare behind right there in front of her do you understand me dear?” And his little “yes ma am” squeaked out and I said I can’t hear you, he said it louder and the biggest grin came on the face of that nurse, I then added all she has to do is come get me as I looked at her briefly. Now of course I would not spank him there but it’s the display of that power over him that he so craves to be affirmed. That is about as far as I’ll go at the doc’s office. And he is well behaved by the way. He will snuggle you and be attentive and shower you with his love like you never imagined after a scene like this. Don’t beat around the bush, lets it be known his ass is yours at that moment. Try it. You will see. Hey, for all the nurse knows your just playing around or your serious, they will be envious either way, trust me. Thank you for reading this far. Just doing this is already a wonderful act of understanding and tolerance from you. Just because he needs a spanking from his woman does not mean he is less of a man. My husband is a wonderful man, strong in all the right ways a man should be strong, and I respect him greatly. Spanking his bottom and otherwise dominating him has become fun for us both, and fulfills a very deep-seated need in him. I, for one, am incredibly happy I took the road I did, and I hope you will consider it as well. Remember what it's all about... The love you share in and of one another. Do it out of love. Here is a book I recommend. There are others and maybe they are good, I don’t know, this book I can get behind. Jackie Castro Jackie has published an entire book on the subject of this blog article called "Sex, Fetish and Him". If you have any doubts about whether you should cater to your man's spanking needs, I strongly urge you to read this book before making up your mind. If you have decided to do so, this book gives you all sorts of practical ideas on how to communicate with your man and understand his needs. It's not a "sex book" in any way. It is a seriously written book about the psychology of these things by a professional, but written in a very accessible fashion. It's easy to get through and extremely rewarding. Available on all sorts of e-readers. I’ve seen it as low as 1.99, send him on a mission to find it for you. He will be thrilled to do so. Sex, Fetish and Him - How To Cope With Your Partner's Unusual Fetish By Jackie A. Castro, MA, LMFT 2011 Volossal Publishing www.volossal.com

Here is a document from someone that at this moment i cant recall from who. It may have been aunt K passed it along RIP Aunt K- or maybe Tommy her widowed husband and who i like and respect very much, anyway its good info. Advice for Wives I know. Talk about weird. He wants you to actually spank him! This page is for you. The wives and girlfriends of men who crave to be spanked. I get so many emails from male blog followers asking desperately what they can do to get their significant others to spank them. So I thought I would put up a page here for the partners of such men to assist with their research. Important to realize that this craving of his is only one aspect of his personality. We all have both submissive and dominant aspects to us. I believe that if you think you only have one of those, you are just unhealthily suppressing the other. This page is exclusively about Domming him. Who am I? I am a wife who was in exactly the same situation as you at one point. Out of the blue my husband asked me to spank his bottom. I tried it and liked it. So while it is mostly based on our real-life experiences, I have been known to take liberties at times. It also tends to give a bit of perspective of our relationship, covering of only the relatively small part of our lives that is "playtime" as if it was more than it is, and more "real-life" than it is. As a further word of caution for those of you that decide to explore. You'll find david and I occasionally share our playtime with others- the domestic discipline equivalent of a threesome (but without the sex, just the spanking). We do this in a safe, trusting, consensual way, and it suits us. There are many others whom it does not suit, and the important thing is that you do only and exactly what makes you comfortable (and him). If he complains to you "but Julie does it!" you can tell him that for all he knows "Julie" is an Internet fantasy wife and then spank him extra hard. With that preamble and caution out of the way, let's dig in! The first thing you need to do is please don't worry: you're not alone and he's not a freak. There are many "perfectly normal" men who have this interest. Try googling "women spanking men". The vast quantity of material should give you pause. In fact, men with this fetish tend to be smart and successful in my experience, and lead very normal lives. When my husband asked me to spank him it was no idle experimentation on his part. He had been fantasizing about this act, and related acts of domestic female dominance, since he was a kid. It is extremely important to him. While he obsessed over it more and more, at the same time he kept it hidden from me, his wife, his life partner, for years out of shame and worry about how I would react, how I might think less of him "as a man". He finally plucked up the courage to just ask for it. I, apparently, reacted in a way that is not so common. I was not horrified. I did not belittle him. I did not lose respect for him. I did not brush it off. I did not minimize it. I took his needs seriously, and I seriously tried my best to satisfy them. We tried experimenting, I asked him lots and lots of questions about it, and I did my research online. I practiced and got feedback from him. We talked a lot about his turn-ons and turn-offs. I worked at it. I made the time. Ladies, it's not anything nearly as simple as you might imagine. I eventually found out what makes him tick and now he is getting what he needs and loves me all the more for giving it to him. I also found I had a much more attentive husband on my hands, in life so I am a believer. If you are a girlfriend or wife whose partner asked you to view this page, I really urge you to read what I say and use some of the resources I reference below. I also urge you to understand that your partner's needs are very real, very important to him, and will not go away, and will make him miserable if he's asked to continue to suppress them. As strange as that seems, I'm dead serious. Here is an excerpt from one of the resources I cite below. It is from Jackie Castro's book "Sex, Fetish, and Him": You might wish that his fetish would simply disappear. Many partners mistakenly believe that if they ignore or don't acknowledge their man's fetish needs, they will eventually go away. No matter how much you want to ignore it, this is not the case. [...] [...] Time and time again, in working with fetishists, I've seen that fetishistic sexuality is deeply ingrained. Even though many feel ashamed of their desires, they also derive a great deal of satisfaction from their personal fantasies. Reprogramming is damaging, rejecting and highly judgmental. The message he gets is that he's "broken" and needs to be "fixed". I'm suggesting something more radical and ultimately more beneficial to you and your relationship [...]. Why not embrace and learn about an aspect of your man's sexuality which might actually enhance the bond between you and your mate? Why not accept what's been lying dormant inside your partner and join him in a unique but bonding form of his personality. You, as his partner, have an amazing ability to literally "wave a magic wand" and get a much more fulfilled and happy mate. In my opinion that is reason enough to put some honest, genuine, and diligent effort into helping him to fulfill these needs whether it turns your crank or not - you do love him after all. You also need to do it properly if you're going to do it at all. Men pick up on it when it's obvious that their partners are doing it only grudgingly, wishing they did not have to. If you do it, you need to never project this, and learn to do it well and pretend you are into it even if you are not. You are more than capable of that. But, perhaps your experience will mirror my own, and you may actually find that you have fun doing it. Lots of fun. Of course I enjoy being so essential to my man, and I love him and will do anything for him. Anything. But beyond that I feel I have worked out some issues of my own around power and male-female relations and have become more assertive and confident as a result. I also just enjoy the act itself, and get turned on by wielding this power over my man. I also am much more confident about telling him exactly what I need in the bedroom as part of our dominant wife / submissive husband roleplay. As a result, under my strict guidance he has honed certain "talents" he was lacking before. There are plenty of fringe benefits to this spanking thing! And once you commit to his specific needs in this spanking him the way he specifically needs you will become a powerful goddess in his mind when playing dominate wife submissive husband or not. These benefits will be revealed. So, yes, from time to time I do dominate him and enjoy it. But please understand that it is not a 24x7 thing for us. In my experience certain men have a tendency to really fixate on something and go completely overboard. To each their own and I do not judge, but in the case of my husband and I, I do not feel that would be healthy for us. I also have little patience for when he deliberately "misbehaves" to goad me into spanking him. That's more like blackmail: "unless you give me the spanking I want, I'll keep acting like that!" That is called bratting and should not be tolerated. Because of these tendencies that I observed in my man, one of my conditions was that when we were not playing, we would be a healthy normal couple. He would take his responsibilities as a husband and man seriously, including on the sexual end when that is what I want from him, and never "misbehave" deliberately to earn a spanking. I find that we can switch it on and switch it off. In fact, I insist we switch it on and switch it off. I did not marry a child, or a sissy, or a wimp. I married my man with some teen boy tendencies and there is not a man alive without those teen personality traits, lets face it we women are the naturally more mature of our species. And they know it. That is part of his desire in his love for you is to see you in your naturally mature and powerful in charge state as nature is set right at that moment in his eyes. And he is correct. Playtime, That is the time he gets to fulfill his fantasies and needs. When we play, he is not in charge of anything. I call all the shots. I do this from a position of being very well informed about his desires, and benefiting from the feedback I elicit from him from previous play sessions. We have found that this is enough to "tame the beast" of his fetish. Acting it out during playtime allows him to express this side of himself, and keeps him happier and mentally healthier the rest of the time as well. He was able to stop taking all his meds permanently for moments of depression. By "playtime" don't imagine that we go down to the basement and get out the whips and chains. He is in fact not excessively turned on by the "leather clad mistress with a whip". Of course, that's sexy to him, but he is much more turned on by the fantasy of his wife dressed in her regular clothes spanking his bottom with her hairbrush for misdeeds. He might find the other thing sexy, but this very simple thing is what he craves. And he actually most fantasizes about ME doing it, not some fantasy girl he saw on the Internet. Sometimes we deviate from this and do traditional roleplays during playtime: teacher and naughty student, nurse and patient, cop and juvenile delinquent, that sort of thing. This is fine if you enjoy the play-acting, but I know many women who do not. Fortunately for such cases, by far our most frequent roleplay is a role that requires very little acting on either of our parts: strict wife and submissive husband. Our "props" are undone chores around the house, excessive spending, a smart mouth, a traffic violation, embarrassing me in the store or in front of my female friends, and so on; the venue is anywhere around the home (and sometimes even outside of it!); and the time is very spontaneous as far as he's concerned, whenever I decide to start in on him (though you do need to work to make the time). For him it's vitally important that the playtime "blend in" to our domestic life together, and I accommodate that need. We don't ever play when we are genuinely upset with one another, or to resolve a difference of opinion. And I don't use subjects as props that are in any way controversial: for example, honest disagreements between us. Like any couple, we deal with those things as best we can by talking them out and sometimes shouting them out. These are not the subjects of our playtime. For us, on the other hand, a good example of a playtime subject is dirty dishes in the kitchen. Neither of us is terribly hung up over this, and I'm as liable to clean it up as he is. It's not a source of tension in our relationship in the slightest. I find he's very responsible with such things, even more so than me in fact. And that's what makes a "filthy kitchen" such a good prop for a spontaneous domestic playtime scene. Fringe benefit: I don't have to clean the kitchen that day or even feel guilty about not doing it. Hubby gets to. With a spanked bottom before and after. And showing off his bare buns in nothing but an apron and as he stands at the sink doing the dishes by hand thank you very much. Now Lets be clear there are defiantly times when he is getting disciplined for breaking rules we have both established, An overly filthy mouth seems to be a constant for my husband, as well as some impulse control issues in public at times. So, in these instances we discuss the fact that something has happened and that he should face the consequences and he agrees and so it goes. In this time and our play time scolding is so important girls, Not an angry tone, it’s the calm in charge tone they will respond to and it keeps their mind from wondering while being spanked. “When you act the way you did I’m going to spank your bottom till its bright red young man, I will not tolerate this, Do you understand me?” Engage him and make him say he is going to be spanked, what I mean by this is an example would be, “and just what is going to happen when you act like XYZ or Do XYZ? Honestly if you can get into a male’s head with scolding and use the spankings as the consequence you will see results, a spanking alone will not have nearly the change in behavior you’re looking for. Scolding however should only be applied during a punishment moment, If you scold In your daily walk it will be perceived as bitchy and overbearing and he would be correct. But during any form of discipline it’s a must, And as for maintenance spankings to keep him on track and nothing specific light reminder of “what will happen if you fail to respect me or what is going to happen if I DO catch you swearing at me?” A male should never have the slightest hint of an erection, Ladies this is important during a discipline time, if you allow even the hint of an erection the spanking will take on a sexualized connotation to it, he knows this in his mind and he cant control the erection, its natural and so is what your needing to do with it. You need to instruct him to take care of it with his hand in front of you, And while he masturbates you should be scolding him as when he releases the pent up energy you have him at his most vulnerable and he will be docile and obedient, you have to try this and see the results, Don’t think you are making him do something he does not already do twice or more times a day already, Ask him to tell you how many times a day he sneaks off to the bathroom to masturbate, Go ahead, Turns out they all do this from the age of 12 on to the day they die. Your dad does it and my dad and our husbands do it so make him do it in front of you, You will wield no stronger influence over a male than when you make him do this and then demonstrate you are in in control with words of confirmation. Or if you really want to own the moment Ladies, you do it. And then proceed with the spanking, the spanking after the release will be the most effective spanking with real change you will ever deliver and if you are wanting change dont go about it half way, if you have his pants down and ready to be spanked for bad behavior then do it correctly and make him have a full release and get the results you want.. Trust me here on this. For fear of repeating myself, The slightest bit of his little pee wee even pointing any direction but down is reason to make him release, or if a wet spot is on the tip that is always the sign ladies, If a man has erectile dysfunction from meds or other issues then it’s the wet spot on the tip you have to be aware of, He is your man reach down and touch it if its wet don’t spank until that is taken care of. Some of you know this already. For those that did not, well now you are well informed. There is no more a man obedient and learning his lesson than the one that you “make” release. Its your power of “making” him do it or you doing it that establishes in his mind, that you indeed are fully in charge. These are the sorts of things that work for us, but your mileage may vary. I know from my blog that different men crave subtly different things: subtle to us, perhaps, but vitally important to them. Men can get very fixated, and that is part of their charm. Therefore, it is very important to sound out your man and discover what precisely he is craving. Then orchestrate playtime around that but without being a slave to that, and afterwards get his honest feedback (some men might even prefer to write out a letter with their feedback). You can then modify things next time around. This is getting feedback, and it's critically important. We delineate our playtime, and the time for feedback and suggestions is before and after playtime, never during, except in very tightly controlled ways using what are called "safe words". Safe words are typically "red" and "yellow" and are words he can use during a scene. If he says "red" we must end session whether it is real punishment or semi real of giving him what he needs, we stop and discuss what is going on. And playtime is entirely over for that day. He can't call red, and then go back to playing. Incorporate some of the behavioral issues with the less intense sessions, If he says "yellow" we continue to play or punish him. That's a clue to me that I am going too hard, beyond what he feels he can take at that moment. I can choose to react to that or not. For me it was very freeing having that as a gauge as to how hard is hard because he could take a lot more than I imagined he could. Though for some couples it can be the opposite. And it's complicated, because sometimes he could take more and sometimes less, even during the same session. He wants me to push his limits, but it's hard to know where those are at first without the "yellow" safe word because him "struggling" to get away and begging for it to stop is part of his role that needs to be played out, and I kind of like him begging for it to stop and him fidgeting. Its very cute as well empowering for us. After a couple of years, we stopped using "yellow" as I became very attuned to his vocalizations, struggles, and shifting limits. We always keep the "red" safeword for safety's sake, though he has not had cause to use it. If your man does crave a more intense spanking experience, it's very fortunate how perfectly engineered the human bottom is for absorbing punishment without injury! All the nerve endings are right near the skin, but the butt has nice thick layers of fat and muscle underneath to ensure that even hard spankings with fierce looking implements leave no lasting damage. I know that even though he is struggling to "take it", five minutes after it's over he'll be dancing around happy as a clam, and all the pretty marks I have left on his butt will miraculously fade within a day or two leaving a pristine white canvas I can paint on again and again. And bless his little heart, but this is exactly what he craves. Feel free to start slow, however, and build up. Even if you never choose to go as hard as I do with my man, your man will still thank you for it. If you do want to go hard (and that is what he wants as well), I have some good guidebooks below for you to read. For many couples, private spanking playtime satisfies his needs and is within his comfort zone. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with stopping there. You are already going above and beyond. However, there are some more extreme things one can get into. I tend to go for the extreme myself, as I am a bit of an adrenalin junky. In case you are too, I'll get into it a little here more of the kind of mischief we get up to! A couple of these things is "forced cross-dressing" where I "make him" put on women's undies as "punishment" (he loves it, my little perv), and "public playtime" where I do something naughty outside of the home with other women bystanders present. In fact, I like combining those two things, for example by taking him out panty shopping making it clear the panties are for him (!) or dragging him to Victoria's Secret to have him fitted for a bra with breast forms (!!). That one is described without embellishment in Bra Fitting at Victoria's Secret. You would be absolutely amazed at how accepting the salesladies are with it. My husband was sooo embarrassed! And lest you fear we are offending innocent bystanders, I have found the opposite to be the case. Many women get a real kick out of seeing a wife "putting her husband in his place". It's just good fun and he loves it and hates it. And what with all this lingerie shopping you might think that my husband is a closet cross-dresser. He is anything but! He "hates" it, meaning that he gets off on my power over him of me "making him". If he felt normal and comfortable in women's clothes, what would be the fun in that? So yes, he does get spanked in his bra. or stood in the corner in his pretty stockings and garter belt. It might be freaky, but I think it's all good fun. A woman spanking a man inherently messes with gender stereotypes, and the forced cross-dressing is a part for us “more out there gals”. As I mentioned in the intro, the other "extreme" thing we do is to involve other women in our playtime. I have hired professionals, won over an old coworker who lives in our vicinity. Shew has now begun spanking her husband and reports a much happier home where it once was not for sure. And even involved my very strict proper sister and some very good friends. If you do choose to do something like this you need to pick partners in crime you feel you can trust completely. I get a charge out of showing off my dominance over my husband like this. He, on the other hand, is incredibly embarrassed to have his spankings witnessed, but also incredibly attentive to me in a very agreeable fashion for weeks after I spank him in front of my sis or another woman and it’s usually for behaviors I want him to stop, and when he is spanked for a behavior in front of a third party that behavior is fixed, we have an agreement that if I go through that trouble of convincing a woman from the store for instance to follow me home to witness his consequence’s for embarrassing me in the store then one he has to go through with it and never refuse the spanking or I wont ever arrange it again, 2. as well that the behavior that got him in trouble would have to be fixed permanently, for instance, He at times would use the F word and I will tolerate some cussing when he is with the boys, Fine I don’t like it but he is with the boys its there time not ours, However he used the f word at the local super market one to many times causing a gal in line with us to turn around a shoot me ME! A look. I asked her if that bothered her and it did so I hand her a card with just my first name and number written on it and ask if she would help a fellow sister in correcting this behavior in a man once and for all, If a hint of intrigue is present I ask her if she would call me anytime to arrange a stop over and I will guarantee he apologizes to her and it will be sincere. Well the third woman finally did call and that evening stopped by the next day totally surprising and shocking him, that was 6 years ago and I have never heard the F-word from his mouth since, And she has been by a couple of times to witness and correct some other issues permanently, if he promises you he will stop doing one thing, and stop it for ever if spanked in front of another woman and you will be affirming his desire to have it known you are his powerful wife, its about your power and others seeing you exercise that power, this is his true desire. Heck even a carefully spoken word in front of other ladies at the store where one or more can for sure hear you say “When I get you home im going to spank your bare butt till you cant suit little mister do you understand me?” and expect a “yes maam” He will adore you for this, not even having to spank him, just try this ladies make sure other women hear it perfectly. You will be shocked at his behaviour. These things are all pretty common in all their minds ladies. It's unlikely all of you women will feel comfortable doing all these things, but you should make an effort to try them at least once and try to be real about it. Youi will get new behaviors from your man. Now I'm a bit wild myself so I love it all and then some, and there seems to be no limit to the amount of embarrassment that my husband craves. And ladies look! If your comfort zone does not even extend to giving him a spanking in the privacy of your own home then, not to put too fine a point on it, I think you should just suck it up, Princess, put on your Big Girl panties, and give your man what he needs! Below this read Is a resource you can access to learn more, so please look into it. I make it a point NOT to endorse or recommend books or material on this subject as there are so many with the wrong take, most are centered in the wrong place. The clouds, and by that I mean they come from a sexually driven BDSM Leather clad Mistress with a whip place and motive, Let there be no mistake here ladies, Spanking and its desire by a select few men is not a sexually motivated desire from its source, Now all men can and will sexualize everything from a donut to a 57 chevy, and spanking is somewhere in the middle and so sure allot of men will have interleaved a sexual desire with spanking some more some less, But a true spanko, that is a person the legitimately desirers the act of spanking in form of discipline and learning of himself through the process of breaking the gender stereo type, is the spanking of the mind not the stimulation of his genitals. This is why you would have him release before any spanking commences, believe you me, if it was sexually driven there is no way on earth or anywhere else he would be made to release himself when you order him to do so before anything starts, that would always come after all the spanking if this were a BDSM fetish, This is ultimately the dividing line ladies reviling to you from which he comes from, A True spanko or BDSM fetish, And Spanking is not a fetish, Its now recognized as a legitimate sub sect of therapy. So what I’m saying is that spanking is deep seeded in his core and if honest he will tell you that before any sexual desire can ever be had or understood by a male that as early as (5 years or so, +- 2 years) He will tell you that he was strongly drawn to be spanked and played spanking games with other kids. As in house and all the other games we all played, only he always orchestrated a way to be spanked or to spank, and there was always a counterpart ready to oblige. He did not understand it and probably it severely messed with his head for much of his life thinking himself a broken dirty pervert and scared to death to come out with it. I have heard this without fail of every single SPANKO male I have interviewed, telling me the same story from childhood, EVERY single one of them. Aprox thousands. Not one time has it been any different. Ask him, he is obliged to be honest with you where this is concerned, it’s part of his submissive desire to be completely transparent to us on this subject matter. It’s part of the she owns me with her power over me segment. Ladies be patient with him he has never had the freedom or the permission to discuss this in detail, so he may come out with details in bursts of information as well he may be apprehensive, be encouraging and not to giggly and not to serious either, be disarming he is as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. (That is a quote from my husband) Even if you are presently spanking him if he brought you this to read it may well mean you are scratching the surface of something greater for both of you. Hey! Have you ever sat down with him and or asked him to write you out what a scenario really looks like in his mind, Do you pull his pants down or does he, do you put him in a corner or not, does he respond with ma’am or Miss insert last name here (usually madden name) Do you wash his mouth with soap? Do you perform maintenance spankings’ and if so, how often? Is it scheduled or is it random as you see fit? There are many details that make no difference to us but make the world of difference to each guy. And yours is no different. There is no wrong here there is no re-teaching him to not need a spanking, It's This power shift is explored every day by us all in different ways in life and this is just another one of those ways. Now for the men that have the spanking desires and it is born out of a sexual hormonal drive then it’s not discipline nor your feminine power truly realized they desire. What they seek is all fantasy and rarely will they ever come to experience a powershift as its only fantasy. If your man will not submit to a real spanking and will not “take care of that wet spot” when ordered to, then you know you have a BDSM desire not a Spanko on in your man. Nothing wrong with that either. Its just vastly different and needs to be approached very very differently and not by my experience’s, I have spent much honest work in coming to better understand my husband’s needs and have done a lot of the heavy lifting for us all. So please take what I offer and use it where it applies. Don’t think that his spanking needs will go away if ignored or halfheartedly approached. Do you take his medical needs seriously? or his deep internal fears seriously? Then take this issue just as seriously, It is a very real part of him and he loves and trusts you at a very deep level to come to you with this desire and if he handed you this article and or this is the first your hearing of it, breath and relax, talk to him, allow him to open up and listen and take notes. He wants you to ask him questions but he may not have all the answers as he truly won’t have some. Don’t mock him or belittle him unless you’re looking for him to be cautioned about ever opening up again. And like all things deep down in ourselves this is only a small part of his personality. But this small part will have a huge effect on how he ultimately shows his real self to you. This is the pathway to his center. He is most vulnerable when you are in charge and its beautiful if you keep your head on straight and play along for a few moments now and again, Like I said I started out not having any desire except just to please him on a very basic level, well I have come to be stronger and more confident at work, as well I’ll just say that don’t mind a bit blistering that butt of his for errant behavior. Let’s face it girls, they do have it coming now and again, and we are gifted and blessed to have that man who is man enough to accept his earned consequences where other so called men will not, EVER!. Are you kidding me!! Other women in relationships are envious of us wives with submissive husbands. The amount of rewarding benefits to the union that is your marriage will be tenfold the energy you put into his spanking needs. He wants to serve you and see you in an expression and display of your real feminine power that we all have naturally deep down or just on the surface often repressed by our up bringing and society as a whole. He is submissively inviting you take up that power and feminine energy. So enjoy, your both adults, well by law anyways, LOL. He has his child like moments, they all do. Spank the daylights out of that fannny of his and make him rub your feet or scrub your back in the tub or clip your toe nails. These are Just some of the fringe benefits, I happen to like him performing oral sex on me personally, Now that means no penis in me, and he is pleased to be pleasing me, If you have not tried it, long after any spankings call him in and put that boy to work down there, and he has become very obediently proficient in this area. LOL That’s just me and he loves serving me. He desires to serve you in his submissive modes. and he will, you just learn to come to the strange new place of enjoying the fact that he is enjoying serving you. I’d love to hear from you ladies how your experience’s have developed in this aspect of your life and relationships. Please share juliyspankshard@gmail.com or feel free to ask me anything you like. I read every single email and reply where appropriate and your emails are read and deleted and never posted or otherwise ladies. I’m just a gal with a day job like some of you and other than the paddle I keep in my purse to pull out and show briefly when other women can catch a glimpse, we are the same In this area of having a man who needs to be spanked and told so. As I said above this is one of the more powerful observations from his point of view and he will melt for you if you take your place in that strong form in front of your sister or a friend from work or strangers on the bus or at the store. OH!!! For my man and ill bet your as well the best is the Doctors office as he only has to see them on rare occasion but just enough that every time the nurse or female PA is around he turns beet red when I say “you do as she tells you or I will take out my paddle and blister your bare behind little mister” Making full sure the female nurse could clearly hear me “ You do as she says and behave in there or I will come in there pull your pants down and paddle your bare behind right there in front of her do you understand me dear?” And his little “yes ma am” squeaked out and I said I can’t hear you, he said it louder and the biggest grin came on the face of that nurse, I then added all she has to do is come get me as I looked at her briefly. Now of course I would not spank him there but it’s the display of that power over him that he so craves to be affirmed. That is about as far as I’ll go at the doc’s office. And he is well behaved by the way. He will snuggle you and be attentive and shower you with his love like you never imagined after a scene like this. Don’t beat around the bush, lets it be known his ass is yours at that moment. Try it. You will see. Hey, for all the nurse knows your just playing around or your serious, they will be envious either way, trust me. Thank you for reading this far. Just doing this is already a wonderful act of understanding and tolerance from you. Just because he needs a spanking from his woman does not mean he is less of a man. My husband is a wonderful man, strong in all the right ways a man should be strong, and I respect him greatly. Spanking his bottom and otherwise dominating him has become fun for us both, and fulfills a very deep-seated need in him. I, for one, am incredibly happy I took the road I did, and I hope you will consider it as well. Remember what it's all about... The love you share in and of one another. Do it out of love. Here is a book I recommend. There are others and maybe they are good, I don’t know, this book I can get behind. Jackie Castro Jackie has published an entire book on the subject of this blog article called "Sex, Fetish and Him". If you have any doubts about whether you should cater to your man's spanking needs, I strongly urge you to read this book before making up your mind. If you have decided to do so, this book gives you all sorts of practical ideas on how to communicate with your man and understand his needs. It's not a "sex book" in any way. It is a seriously written book about the psychology of these things by a professional, but written in a very accessible fashion. It's easy to get through and extremely rewarding. Available on all sorts of e-readers. I’ve seen it as low as 1.99, send him on a mission to find it for you. He will be thrilled to do so. Sex, Fetish and Him - How To Cope With Your Partner's Unusual Fetish By Jackie A. Castro, MA, LMFT 2011 Volossal Publishing www.volossal.com

I myself have kind of always thought of the safe word associated with BDSM environments, You know like the stuff seen on line and such, The kinds of environments that i am to chicken to be found near such a place. But have always {and probably not wisely} just associated safe words with environments where folks are not playing with trusted caring caring individuals. But with a domestic discipline environment it seems to me that a safe word is almost like topping from the bottom, If thats the correct way of putting it, it's not totally submission anymore if I have a way to put a halt on the spanking.

Yes maple is a great wood as well yellow cedar.

I make these paddles out of reclaimed Woods, that is, only Woods that are from dilapidated buildings burnt down buildings old school houses, out houses, churches, close down renovated bars, scrap piles to be burned, and when I go overseas for my line of work I will send back chunks of wood from the south of France Madrid, Barcelona, and over time I've collected some great Boutique types of wood rainbow grain, rare yellow cedar, European Cedar, Purple Heart Wood, I make the paddles by hand one at a time, no template is ever used, as is evident by the fact there is no two alike they are all one-off designs. I know it may sound a little strange but not to a spanko or someone who enjoys a well-fitted paddle, but I like to say and I mean it when I say that The paddle dictates its shape on its own somehow, it just kind of speaks to me as I'm holding it and trying to maximize the use of whatever Piece of wood I happen to be holding. here are just a few.