Ravenbrooke

No and who has jade statues just laying around? 🤣 CYP a musical instrument that is not a drum or guitar!

My husband and I have been in a domestic discipline relationship for over 15 years. I am a submissive to him. We are also from Michigan. I'd love to chat some time.

I have only one thing to add....chocolate kisses. When I feel down my husband sometimes comes home with chocolate kisses. For each one he gives me I have to tell him something I feel is positive in my life. After giving me 5 or 6 I start to feel better. My focus is effectively shifted away from the negativity and stress I'm feeling to more positive feelings. Plus I get to eat chocolate which I absolutely love ♥️ but am rarely allowed to eat it. My advice is this. Find your version of chocolate kisses (doesn't have to be an edible thing) and give it a try. I find this helps even when by yourself. I've even stopped at one of those machines in the lobby of a restaurant and bought myself a few fancy new spider rings for a quarter each. 😎 It seems silly at first because I'm an adult. I found that some things you loved to do as a kid can bring a breath of fresh air to your adult life as well. As we grow up we often stop doing the things that recharge our souls that came natural to us as kids. Like laying in the grass and watching the clouds, rolling down a hill because even if you were dizzy after it was still fun, playing in the sand and watching it slip through your fingers, watching the rain drops roll down a window secretly hoping the little one would reach the bottom first. Simply put, you allowed yourself the time to let your mind wander, allowing your mind to process your feelings subconsciously, and most importantly you allowed yourself to take a deep breath and recharge.

I was in the exact position as you are 12 years ago with my husband. What seemed to help him the most was the changes he saw in my mood and behavior. At first I would point these things out to him. Tell him often how happy I was after a spanking. Point out signals that I saw in myself that indicated I needed another one. After a long hard spanking I was happier and more enjoyable to be around. To me I felt closer to him therefore I went out if my way to show him my love and gratitude. He didn't learn how to spank me overnight and it certainly didn't come naturally to him but he was trying. Over the course of a year or so we gradually purchased better implements that delivered the severe spanking I needed without leaving a bruised and bloody mess. We had quite a few sessions just to test out different implements and techniques. I would present my bottom for him and we would talk about how it felt and how light or hard he landed each stroke. Some sessions were just to see where my subspace threshold was. Think of it like a child learning how to color. (after all she is trying to color...your bottom that is.) You don't loose hope in their ability to color in the lines even after their hundredth attempt to do so. "That's it kid I know you are trying but your pictures suck! I may just have to find some other kid to color stuff for my fridge." Lol No...you put their messy pictures on the fridge and praise them for their attempt. Maybe offer a few tips on how to hold their crayon for better control or or offer up different mediums. Your wife probably feels most uncomfortable because shes afraid to seriously hurt by going to far or is afraid to fall short of your expectations. Again this is my opinion and my thought process on how I brought my husband around to the concept. I think the importance of communication is often over looked. Going into a spanking with a vanilla with little to no experience and a negative mind set is setting yourself up for disappointment. My thought was this, there isn't a single thing worth doing in life that doesn't take time and effort to learn how to do better. Think of all the effort that goes into watching TV. Between the equipment, the service and choosing what to watch it's quite a bit if you think about it. What surprised me the most was how quickly he learned from those practice swings. He learned new things about himself as well. Within about a year and a half the dynamic in our marriage had changed significantly. My husband explored his dominant side for the first time in his life (he grew up the youngest with 4 older sisters). It made us happier as a couple and our marriage was stronger because of it. He enjoys my submission to him. I would even venture to say he looks forward to punishing me for displeasing him. Not because he likes to spank me but because he can release his own feelings by taking it out on my bottom. Feelings he didn't even know he was suppressing. Its amazing what will come out of him when he is lecturing. He has my undivided attention, bare bottom before him, only our emotional walls between us. During our session we break down those walls. He is taking the time and putting forth the effort to teach me that my actions or attitude is unacceptable and how I need to correct it. If not he will correct it again and again until I do. I feel better having accepted the consequences for my actions and he feels better knowing that his thoughts and feelings have been heard. When we are done all is forgiven and we move on from it. He is now a very strong dominant man where before he was very passive and easily taken advantage of. I assure you my bottom is frequently red and sore. Not every relationship is strong or healthy enough to go through this though. Only the two of you know for sure. But if you truly love her and want to be happy with her you have to keep an open mind and keep communicating with her. Anything else allows for frustration, anger and resentment to fester between you and the emotional wall between you only gets bigger and stronger. Again I'm only telling you this to give you information and my opinion about what worked for me in the same situation. I am in no way judging you or your relationship with your wife. Trust me there are plenty of things we are still working on. I'm still trying to bring him around on the idea of giving me a good girl spanking for pleasure instead of punishment. Of course that requires me to be good once in awhile! I wish you both the best.

My worst was on an already sore bottom. I had been spanked every night for three nights. Instead of learning my lesson I had an attitude with him about it. That night he grabbed me by the waist of my Jean's and led me to the chair. He yanked my pants down around my ankles, bent me over the back of the chair and proceeded to tear into my bottom with a bamboo spoon until it felt like it was in fire. The whole time he was lecturing me on respect and obedience. He made sure to get the top of my thighs too. Just when I thought he was done he yanked my panties down and demanded I remove them and spread my legs apart more. He gave me 20 with the lexan paddle with holes in it and 20 with the leather loopy Johnny. By this time I pleading with him to stop but refused to use my safe word. He said I should have thought about that before being a bitch to him. He pulled me upright by my ponytail and took me to the bedroom. He ordered me into position on the edge of the bed with my bottom raised up on pillows. That's when I heard the dreaded sound of him removing his belt. The belt has an emotional impact on me in addition to the physical effects. After each lash I was expected to say I humbly apologize for disrespecting you husband, I deserve the punishment I am recieving. In total I got upwards of 50 lashes with the belt. By this time i was crying my eyes out and so ashamed of my actions. I was truly sorry for the way i had spoke to him. I was ordered to stand up to which I quickly complied. He hugged me and kissed me and told me he had to make sure. He then bent me over the bed placing my hand flat out in front. He gave me 15 hard with the delrin cane. After each one my knees buckled and I struggled to stay in place. After the last one he wrapped his arms around me and I crumbled into them sobbing. He led me to the other side of the bed and tucked me in. He sat there stroking my hair telling me how much he loved me until I fell asleep. The next day I was so sore I could barely sit. The marks left on my butt cheeks were a mural of squiggly and straight welts and bruises that took just over a week to fade. I have never ever even dreamed of speaking to him that way again. If I come even close all he has to do is mention that day. "How did that work out for you last time my love?" he says with a glint in his eyes.

Our predetermined story is "Hey we like rough sex". It's amazing how fast the subject is dropped. The only doctor that has ever noticed is my general practitioner. He shrugged his shoulders and said "as long as its consensual".

We use a leather loopy from Adam and Gillians. It's similar to the loopy Johnny but made with thin leather loops instead. It stings like hell and has some weight behind it. Like a belt but very quiet. I must warn you though. It will leave a lasting impression on both your backside and your behavior.