StrictGent

And what about an option for us switches?! 😁

Honestly, that sounds amazingly wonderful.

That was fantastic, congratulations for getting to do that and thanks for sharing it with us!

Well done to you for having the guts to talk to her, and well done her for listening and agreeing to try it. This is how relationships should work: communication and open minds (and hearts)! I hope it continues to work out for you guys.

We all ask this question, of ourselves and each other. I am sure the answer is different for everyone, but equally elusive. For me, the answer is: I don't know. I've reached the point where I've tried to stop asking that question, of myself and others. No one has ever adequately explained this need and I think you're right that it'll be the first question she will ask - and the last you'll be able to answer! Maybe think about saying something like: "I don't know. I've thought about it for years and I just don't know why. But I need this, and I want it from you and you alone." I think

Not at all, Maureen, in my opinion. The essence of cheating is that you're doing something behind your partner's back, and you would not be. Kudos to you for talking to him about it, and also to him for being open-minded enough to help you satisfy your need.

Hello, and welcome, from just a little south of you. 😃

Well, I’m sure many of us would happily represent your husband over your lap... 😊

That's tough, believe me I know. Have you tried talking to her about getting spanked outside the marriage? You may be surprised... If she says no, then only you can decide. Personally, I do think it would be unethical but I'm sure as heck not going to sit in judgment. After all, you're the one that has to live with your decision. All I can say is, good luck and I hope you can do this with your wife's blessing.

Without meaning to be overly dismissive of the question, do you really think there is a yes or no answer? Or are you wanting to find out what different people do? Because the obvious answer is, "It depends." Does the spankee want a hug? Does the spanker want to give one? This is the kind of thing, aka "aftercare," that should be figured out in advance.

Same thing as me - NOT getting spanked!

AG is right, pretty much, in that (imo) a spanker should be able to read their partner's body language and adjust accordingly. But there will be instances where either spanker or spankee are inexperienced, overly vocal, underly (?!) vocal, or otherwise not in synch enough to make sure all' well all the time. In my 30 years of playing I've never deployed a safeword, as spanker or spankee, but just knowing one is in place is an emotional safety blanket.

They most certainly do exist. They are the rarest breed, for sure, but if you engage with the spanking community you will find them. Also, you might want to think about hiring a professional disciplinarian, there are some great ones out there who will give you a wonderful first spanking.

I agree with Chawsee, I think a safeword is absolutely essential until two people know each other extremely well. I would even argue that a safeword is far more freeing than it is restrictive -- one of the things that is a part of my -ee side is trying to get out of or stop a spanking. I'm incredibly good at delaying or reducing a spanking by talking my way out of it. Or, during, by having my spanker feel sorry for me and lighten up (why am I admitting this??!!!). What I really and truly want is for my spanker to leg-lock me and spank me until I'm breathless, to ignore my pleas for her to stop

Chawsee, congrats on being such a good friend - to both of them! I think this is a fascinating position to be in, an opportunity but also a daunting one. I see two obstacles that you and she will need to overcome (all this assumes he's a spanko). First, the normal vanilla hesitation and concern. Vanillas, in my experience, always want to know WHY we're spankos. To understand and to participate they need an explanation. The only ones who've been able to actually spank or be spanked, and get something out of it, have been able to accept that there's no answer to the "why" question. So I thi