StrictGent

You can tell by my name that I am! I'm a switch but for decades refused to accept that side of myself. I'm a big, strong, ambitious man so how on earth could I enjoy going over the lap of a woman for a spanking?! Ridiculous idea! And yet... I do, so 🤷‍♀️. I keep meaning to change my name here to reflect reality, I promise it's laziness not embarrassment that keeps me from actually doing so.

Nicole, that was so lovely to hear, and so wonderful of you to understand what he was going through and give him comfort. You are SO right about the need for human touch - I am married to someone who doesn't really cuddle or need that, whereas I crave it. Funnily enough, she's also not a spanko and fine with me seeing pros, which I do once a month or so. A huge part of my spanking sessions is cuddling the other person, just because I value that touch and understanding! Anyway, lovely story, so glad you shared it.

I think of "coming out" as kind of letting the world know, which I definitely haven't done. But I have told a few select vanilla friends about my spanking needs. All of them have been cool and, to varying degrees, interested to hear a little more. One lady friend even wanted to try being spanked, which was fun (but by no means intense!). My whole life I've feared being judged for this kink so it's heart-warming when I can share it with a 'nilla and it be accepted.

It's a "no" for me. In fact, I think the only "should" in spanking is that every spanking should be consensual. Other than that, people get to pick and choose what they want to do according to their needs, not according to outsiders views of how things should be.

I love those real-world interactions that don't cross the line (well done!) but leave you all tingly and wondering...

I agree with others here, don't worry about labels at all. Just explore this wonderful spanking world as much, or little, as you desire (ccarefully)!

I think OhRedhead may be right, and that you might want to think about tweaking your dynamic - reversing it. What I suspect is happening is that you are doing something "bad" (being rude, lazy, disrespectful etc) which you feel warrants a spanking. Makes sense, you're a spanko. You may even behave this way to get a spanking, on purpose. But. If she's not a spanko, these behaviors, intentional or not, are not going to put her in the mood to do you a favor (which spanking you is, to her). Quite the opposite, she's going to be annoyed/irritated/pissed. And catering to your need, one she fundamentally doesn't get or share, will be the last thing on her mind. Moreover, she may be concerned that if she does spank you, because you are a spanko this will serve only to create more negative behaviors. In other words, you getting what you want will make her life less joyous and peaceful. As OhRedhead suggests, if you have a dynamic where a sound spanking is a reward, then you will be a wonderful husband and also get your butt blistered. Anyway, what do I know, just some thoughts that are worth precisely what you paid for them.

I thought I'd start a thread where people could not just announce their availability/desire to play, but get a sense of how many folks here are wanting to (or not!). Feel free to reply with the following info (mine added below): Where: Anywhere in the US (I travel) but live in Austin, Texas. Looking for spanker, spankee, or switch: Any of those three. Four things about you: Male, 55yo, lawyer and writer.