It's not just bad behaviour though. If a guy does it, then it's simply not ok. It's disrespectful to their partner, and will make the woman/women he's looking at feel uncomfortable, and maybe even scared. Why on earth would any self respecting woman, ER or otherwise, stay with a guy who behaves like that?
I think you need to separate the spanking lifestyle from actual humans in relationships, and see that it is just simply horrific behaviour.
I actually think any woman who sticks with a guy who does that kind of thing is just weak. They need to look in the mirror and ask themselves why they put up with it.