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Posts posted by sassylittle

  1. 5 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

    There are a lot of comments that have been added here since I posted on this thread, and I just spent half of my lunch break reading everything new.  

    In all honesty, I didn’t interpret what @Rand E said about safe words as “pushing” them at all, except in one small paragraph where he was advocating for them, and then he was just pointing out why he thinks they are a good idea.  And even if he did strongly advocate for them, so what??! 

    As for @Chawsee, I don’t see anything offensive in what she said at all.  She was not attacking anybody, or suggesting anyone was stupid (as you’re suggesting), just sharing her viewpoints and a concern she had.  Again, so what??!  

    You are the one who keeps getting in people’s faces when they have a different viewpoint from yours.  It sounds like you’re making a personal affront out of things when there’s no need to.  

    He was pushing them and it was between us so I don't get why you need to stick your noses into it. There's nothing wrong with politely asking some-one to not push their views on others. @Rand E is a big boy and doesn't need some-one else advocating for him- we sorted it out respectfully between ourselves(I thought.)

    It's blatantly clear that @chawsee comment was directed at me and if she had read my original comment she would have seen that I don't think that safe-words are just for beginners. You might both enjoy shit-stirring on this site but smart people can see your game. I'm not getting into a pissing match with either of you and this the last thing I'll say on the subject. You both might think that you are being subtle but people aren't as dumb as either of you think. The shit stirring needs to stop, some of us use this site for genuine reasons and it used to be a much nicer place to be.

    • Sad 1
  2. 1 hour ago, selfsp12 said:

    I do not bruise like that, and can't have marks; but your not f'ed up at all. Somehow that makes perfect sense to me. I'm glad that you can get that gift, and enjoy and appreciate it. 

    I consider my spankings I gift I can give to myself. Makes perfect sense.

    Thank-you? It takes more to bruise and mark me these days but where there's a will, there's a way! I'm lucky that I have a Dom, to play with, who loves marking me as much as I love being marked. He does what has to be done to make my bottom a pretty masterpiece! Not everyone is in the position to be able to get away with being marked.

    And you are right, your spankings are a gift to yourself and if you are anything like me... that's the best gift that you or anyone can give you. Not everyone understands this so it's always nice when some-one else gets it too.

  3. The rattan cane and sjambok. I love the types of pain I get from them but I also love the marks that they produce. For me, there's nothing more pleasurable than having deep purple bruising and welts from the sjambok. I love the lines which the cane produces... having bloody lines that develop into pretty bruises is just beautiful, for me. It's like a caterpillar developing into a butterfly... that metamorphosis just turns me on big time. Knowing that I can admire these marks for days/weeks afterwards is thrilling. Those beautiful marks are a gift, to me, a gift that 2 people can share... there's no other intimacy that compares. And yes, I know that I'm pretty fucked-up?

    • Like 2
  4. Each spanko is an individual hence the different responses. I knew a girl who could take harsh spankings with a paddle but couldn't tolerate 2 mins with a leather implement. Different implements have different sensations. some are thuddy, others stingy and produce a sharper pain and then you have others that have a mix of both. Plus, even with one implement, say the cane for example, there are a variety of materials used and different diameters. The thicker the diameter, the less stingy it is. Also, synthetic canes have different sensations. Rattan has a bite and it's more stingy but delrin doesn't have the same bite and is more thuddy. Fibreglass canes are more closer to the sensation, of rattan, than any of the other synthetic canes.

    I can tolerate most implements but my favourites are the rattan cane and the sjambok. The sjambok is stingy but also has some thud to it. My least favourite are leather and some synthetic paddles- they just do nothing for me.

    It certainly doesn't surprise me, that your ee's liked different implements.

    • Like 2
  5. 15 hours ago, Chawsee said:

    I agree with the wisdom that Rand E expressed here. 

    Some folks prefer to operate without a safe-word. That is their choice and it's perfectly fine. But so is the decision to use a safe-word without having to meet opposition about it. 

    A conscientious top carefully monitors movements, vocalizations, muscle contractions, breathing patterns, etc. But some EEs are harder to read than others, and ERs are human and fallible. We can make mistakes, even when trying our hardest to do everything right.

    I am concerned that SN members, reading these comments, will internalize some of the messages here, believing that their goal should be to "graduate" to operating without a safe-word. This could seriously endanger somebody. Safe-words are not "training wheels" for beginners. Safe-words are used by beginners, immediate, and experienced people in the spanking world who prefer an added measure of safety. 

    No-one here actually gave any opposition about other people's rights to use a safe-word... actually quite the opposite. @Rand E was trying to push safe-words on to some-one else and I just asked him, nicely, to respect other's choices like we were respecting his. It was no big deal.

    Also, no-one said about safe-words being "training wheels" just for beginners... you just chose to take it that way, to fit your agenda. Yes, newbies should be encouraged to use safe-words until they feel safe and have experience. Even then, they don't have to forgo safe-words. 

    This site is for all kind of spankos and we have just as much right to be here and share our opinions like you do. You are basically implying that some SN members are stupid... they are adults and should be able to read in between the lines. There is a balance of opinions, on this site, and they can read it all from different views and then make an informed decision for themselves. There is no right way to being a spanko and everyone should have a right to practice this as they want. Safe-words are for some and not for others and we should be respecting their rights, not trying to impose our views onto them. If you actually read the replies you would see that NO-ONE opposed others rights to have safe-words.

  6. 5 hours ago, lilmsesinem said:

     Can a Sjam bok give likeable results.... If so mine may be defective ?

    Yeah, it can. I don't know which one you have but the one I have is thick and plaited which bruises and cuts the skin nicely. I did have another one but my lovely Dom broke the damn thing over my ass ?Sorry, that yours seems defective. You can buy " ethically sourced" of the real deal but those are harder to find these days. This is the one I have:


  7. 17 minutes ago, Redwombutt said:

    Recently, on the way to work, my wife warned me about my behaviour while driving. "Do that again, and you will pull over and I'll get the paddle from the back", she warned me. No believing her I chuckled and said, "yeah sure". Needless to say, I was made to pull over in the nearby cemetary and was paddled by my wife, over my pants bent over with my hands in the back of the car. After she warned me, that next time the pants come down and I'd cop it over my underpants.

    Has this ever happened to anyone else? 


    No, but that sure sounds hot? Underpants pants or panties down would certainly enhance the experience?

    • Like 2
  8. 5 hours ago, Rand E said:

    You sound like you have a good experienced head on your shoulders.  An agreement about safe words is no substitute for being careful, cautious, and aware.  My main worry is the influence that comments on this site may have on newer folks that don' t have that experience and well developed instincts. 

    My days of searching for spanking partners are way in the past, having been faithfully married 25+ years to my spanko wife.  So, I would not pretend to know how to approach the current spanko and BDSM scene now.  Techniques to safely navigate that environment with new partners, be they safe words or whatever, is one of those topics that you and other experienced folks here can definitely help advise.    

    Your other comment about being immune to hand-spanking made me laugh reminding me of an incident where I bruised my hand spanking my wife and she just laughed and made fun of me.  Years of getting spanked definitely toughens up the derriere.  

    Thank-you and you have a good head, on your shoulders, too. I always have and always will, advise new-comers to use safe-words. CNC isn't for beginners. When I was a new-comer, no-one told me about safe-words... I never even knew there was such a thing! I'm glad that new-comers, these days, have a lot of internet sources to help them navigate the spanking and BDSM scene. I, for one, am always happy to help some new to the scene and the first thing that I advise them on is safety. I made a lot of mistakes and reckless errors when I started so I hope that they can learn from my experiences so that they don't make the same mistakes. I'll also respect anyone's use of safe-words but also respect the experienced players, who choose not to use them.

    I'm glad my comment made you laugh?

  9. 6 hours ago, AfterGeometry said:

    No problems here.  

    It was working a lot better last night and this morning so you caught it just at the right time. Poor FF thought that I fell asleep on him, the other night, cause I didn't get his pm's until the morning?

  10. 9 minutes ago, Child of Light said:

    It's deffo helpful to be notified! Is it random or certain parts of the day? 

    It's been like it most of the day today... we get the odd 5-10 mins when it's not. Yesterday it was just in the morning and got better late in the day. Everyone's been commenting about it in chat so either @Bramblewinehas been here when it's been good or the only person not effected!

  11. 12 minutes ago, ukspanko said:

    I don’t mind if people ask first...still remember the time about 10 years ago when I was at a bdsm club some guy decided to try and strap my legs  ( when I was cross dressed ) without asking - I nearly threw him across the room...?

    Sounds like that really got your attention?

  12. Just now, LateBloomer said:

    During the last several days I have found the site to be very slow. Sometimes it can take a minute or more to load a page or refresh. I am wondering if others are finding this.



    It's the same for all of us so you are not alone?

  13. 12 minutes ago, RedKnight said:

    Sometimes for more serious spankings, I target the back of thighs as well as the bottom. Also this often happens with a strap, but after a good amount of spankings with the strap the bottom gets hard, and the spankee hardy feels the spanking on his/her bottom anymore. So then I give a few strokes on the back of the thighs... gets them dancing again!

    Anyone been spanked on the back of the thighs? What was it like for you?

    I get spanked on the back and the front of thighs... it stings a lot more than the bottom. I mark a lot easier there too. 

  14. 2 minutes ago, Busted4fun said:

    I’m the HoH and the EE. I use the term head of household meaning I take care of the finances and upkeep of the house. We make most decisions jointly. I get excitable at times, and a bit nasty when things are not going well. That’s where my wife steps in as the ER. Spanking is a release, a reset, and intimate to us. 

    Thank-you. That sounds like an interesting dynamic?

    • Like 1
  15. I have been seeing a lot of comments about other's HOH relationships. This question is for those who are in a HOH, MLR or FLR, or have been or want to be in this kind of relationship. How do you handle the disparities in the relationship? If one is HOH, what happens if the Dominant partner does something wrong? How much say should the submissive partner have in issues? Do you make decisions together? What happens if there's conflict or the submissive partner starts to feel resentment? Do you believe the HOH makes all the decisions and the submissive partner gets absolutely no say in anything? How does your dynamic work for you or what would you expect if you found your ideal HOH? Lots of questions I know but this subject fascinates me and I enjoy learning about other's views on this topic.

    I was in a DD marriage and my ex-husband was HOH. This worked well at first but by the end he was regularly abusing his power and I couldn't live with that. The solution... I got a divorce! I'm not looking for another HOH relationship and even if I was, I'd be very ambivalent about entering another one. The perfect HOH relationship, for me, would be one where I was heard and there was good communication. It would have to be one that was led with love and forgiveness and not one of complete control. I think that if the HOH messes up he should make it up to me, in some way. I'm not a switch so I could never spank the HOH. Now it's your turn...

    • Like 4
  16. 19 minutes ago, utahn said:

    Since spanking is such a “turn on”, does anybody have any evidence or maybe an experience that indicates that it increases potency in the male or fertility in a female?

    It doesn't increase potency or fertility anymore than vanilla sex. There are people who are vanilla, who have a very active sex life just like some spankos. Your body's make-up, hormones, age and genetics pretty much determine your potency or fertility... having regular sex just increases the chances of creating a pregnancy. We are no different than the Vanilla population- some have lots of sex; some very little and others not at all. Not all spankos find spanking erotic and some spankos who do, play with others that don't. That's where the importance of finding some-one, who is compatible with your needs, comes in to play.

    • Like 1
  17. 9 minutes ago, Chastener said:

    Everyone, I'm going to pause my my presence (and innumerable comments on everything) for a while.  As I've told some, it's nothing momentous, just a pause.  Stay well, everyone.

    Thank-you for messaging me and letting me know. We are going to miss you, Mister but I don't think that you will be the only one. Take care and keep safe?

  18. 1 minute ago, IntsenseSwitch said:

    Oh I did, I was dancing for her for a good year and half. Loved the good carthetic release I alway got. She actually had the upmost respect for me and she alway gave me good aftercare.

    But boy she sure did love giving a intense (meduim force fast and furious swats) paddling for a good long time nonstop. He implement of choice was the flat part of the handle of a bamboo backscatcher backscatcher. Light weight but OMG stung like a thousand bees at once and it smacked both cheeks simultaneously. Her moto, "bamboo until you boohoo! Let's get you daning! Now take'em down!"

    Its been over 20 years but I still remember them.


    It actually sounds like good fun. I might have shit dancing skills but I have other skills to offer that I excel better in. It's always nice when some-one has the utmost respect for you but who you can completely let go with. Glad you got to have that experience and the fun memories that you have now?

    • Like 1
  19. 3 hours ago, IntsenseSwitch said:

    Ok, im actually going to say something a little different here. So embarrassing to admit it.

    When I was in my early 20's I got into switching and I had a girlfriend who absolutely love to beat my butt. And she never believed in short spankings or giving slow swats. Of course she was always good with giving TLC afterwards, she loved the fact that I would totally take it until Iost my composure. These were days before I ever heard about safe words.

    But the first time she used a wooden implement on me and literally beat the bare off my behind, the second she stopped I jumped straight up arched my back, pushed my hips forward frantically rubbing my behind while I hopping up and down turning about. It was so embarrassing. I must have been quite sight with everything pushed down hopping around. She was so amused/entertained by my post spanking dance performance, she inisted I do it after everyone after that. She also inisted I hop around for longer periods of time. If i didn't I go back into position for another round until I do. 

    So I'd have to do the after spanking hopping war dance first, than, I get TLC.

    Thankfully, my dancing skills are terrible so no-one will be asking me to do that? No way, that I'd sign-up for that but I admire your honesty and bet she loved it. Hope that you milked that aftercare big time?

    • Like 2
  20. 2 minutes ago, ChicagoLady said:

    Although we can ALL agree that it would feel great at the time!!!

    I' m certainly not denying that it wouldn't be fun but worth it... Hell No? You are just being nice by giving your used toys to the less fortunate i.e) the next poor woman, saddled with him?

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