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Everything posted by DelawareValleySpanker

  1. I remember asking to have a belt used on me when I was four or five. Didn’t work. I think I said I wanted to know what it was like or something. I can only imagine what my parents thought was wrong with me. 😅
  2. I have a variety of thoughts on this topic that aren't necessarily tied together. But here goes. - I have known of people who weren't into spanking until someone spanked them, and then they liked it. But those people seem to be at a level of interest that wouldn't quite be the same as someone who has been into it all their life. They are more a take-it-or-leave-it level, whereas the level of most of the people on here I think are we think about it every day. My sense is that someone who's into this enough to go online to a site like this and make a profile, or go to a spanking party or other group event, would be most satisfied in a relationship with someone whose interest level is high enough for them to do the same thing. I have no basis in fact on this, it's just a hunch. To that end, you may somehow find someone who has a lifelong interest but has not yet mustered the courage to come onto a site like this or go to a party. They are definitely out there. - If you meet someone who's not into spanking, and you bring it up and you try to get them into it, that interest may not last even if you think you've converted them. This is the situation i'm currently in. - I have the sense that if you meet someone or are in a relationship with someone who is the love of your life, you can't imagine life without them, etc, then that level of attachment to someone may be enough to overcome a spanko-to-vanilla relationship. If your relationship is something less than that, like you've been dating for five years and it's time to get married because that feels like the next step, that level of attachment may not be enough to overcome resentment over a non-spanking relationship. If you are waffling at all over it, my sense would be you are in the latter of those two categories. You should add this to your articles: https://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/fashion/modern-love-a-spanking-fetish-is-not-revealed-easily.html It's perhaps worth noting that the marriage described in that article did not last.
  3. I have been in this situation for the better part of 15 years. Personally I have no qualms about doing it, partially because of the circumstances that led to the current state of things, but mostly because the alternative is getting a divorce because of it and breaking up my family, which to me would be much worse for everyone involved. However, I have had increasing difficulty over the past five years or so with finding a willing partner that sees the situation the way I do.
  4. For me in the few times it’s happened it’s just been a series of online communication lasting for varied amounts of time depending on the circumstances, and then meeting in a public place. A couple times that public meeting has then immediately been followed by a session, and a couple others it was almost like a job interview and then we got together a few days or weeks later. Bottom line is just be careful and trust your spidey sense if you think anything at all might be risky.
  5. Last week I tried self spanking for the first time in a long time, and after my last and hardest round I was somewhat surprised to find that I needed to catch my breath. I don’t recall that having happened before. Unfortunately I can count on one hand the number of spankings I have had that have been hard enough to maybe make this happen. But I’ll have to pay more attention in the future.
  6. I have never had a same-sex spanking encounter as an adult. I had extensive ones with a male neighborhood friend from the age of 10-15. When I was in elementary school I would try to make games competitive and suggest the loser get a spanking. I did that with this individual and it just clicked. Although we never really talked about it much, it is obvious to me now that he had at least some interest. Early in that period of time we would play video games or pool or whatever to see who got spanked. It wasn’t long before that evolved into seeing who got spanked first, as we both would want a turn. Eventually we ditched the competition and would just spank each other. As it developed we started going from clothed to underwear to bare. It never turned sexual in any way as far as contact, although in the last couple of years he wanted us to just undress completely for the bare sessions, and I went along with it. Thinking back on it now, I kind of miss it. So I have become more and more open to the idea of having a same sex spanking session, but like others above, I would not want it to be sexual in any way. It seems such an encounter is somewhat difficult to find.
  7. I am also in this club. I don’t recall a specific moment, but I recall it always being there. I can only date it because I moved when I was six years old, and I can remember two specific occasions in the first house where I would try to dodge playful spankings (one was a birthday) but not really. My earliest memories of trying to engage in play spankings with neighborhood friends was right after that move. Then I have concrete memories of spanking events in every grade starting with grade 1, but none of those incidents were like the lightbulb - in every case I remember them being things that when they happened, I already knew I liked it (in second grade I actually lost a game on purpose at a church camp because the loser of said game was getting sent through the “spanking machine.”). For me, all of this has led to the certainty that I was born this way.
  8. They used wood. It happened. The episode is called Ladies Night at the Lodge, from Season 4, Episode 22. Seems someone still has a need to make money off Flintstones so the clip isn't available for free on YouTube anymore, but you can buy the episode on Apple or Google Play for a dollar I think. This episode was part of my childhood highlight reel.
  9. also in regards to your flogger, you can always practice on a pillow or even the "bottom" of a stuffed bear or something if you have one that's big enough. Otherwise just have him lay flat and put a folded blanket or a pillow both above and below his butt and you should be OK.
  10. I think different people like different things but for me it's crucial to have a good thorough warmup. If I receive too hard too fast, I can't take as much and it's disappointing. Personally I also benefit from a short break after the warmup before getting more intense. Once I get past that point, I can take just about anything. Past that it probably just centers on communication and doing what he wants, which would include if he tells you to not ask him what he wants and for you to be fully in control, if that makes sense. :)
  11. I'm probably one of the few men just looking for platonic spanking friendships, and I wish I had more within this realm. I have a few, but they're all pretty much just penpals. One thing though that kind of blew my mind when I went to my first national spanking party was just having dinner and normal everyday conversation with people who you knew were spankos just because they were at the event. It's something that I'd never really experienced before.
  12. IIRC, I had to manipulate something in the app to search in a way that would make anything show up. It appears now in order to search like that you have to be a paid member, which I’m not, so I can’t say for sure now.
  13. The thing I've found about religion is that you can believe what you want to believe, but then a lot of times those beliefs change as you grow/get older/whatever. I'm not catholic, I've bounced around the protestant religions, but over time I have developed a healthy skepticism of non-Gospel portions of the Bible and have had my beliefs re-shaped by real life experiences. For instance 20-25 years ago I just went along with the church as far as the "homosexuality is a sin" thing because that's what they taught me in high school. However, I no longer believe that and in all honesty it's because of my spanking orientation - because I know what it's like to have an orientation that's not considered mainstream, in that I didn't choose to be like this and I can't choose to not be like this. I have been hardwired to this all my life, which to me means God made me this way and going by teachings, that's not a mistake. It's what made me realize that homosexuality is not a choice, that those people are made that way and that too is the way God made them, and is not a mistake. In the long run, whoever you feel the most comfortable talking to should be the one to talk to, whether it's a priest or not. I'm not sure any of us wants to dive too deep into theology here, but my view, for whatever it's worth, would be that any response you get from clergy about this subject based on interpretation of Scripture is just that - an interpretation. I would encourage you to significantly consider your real-world experience and how it might relate to that interpretation.
  14. the second video listed above is the method that I've used to some degree of success. Agree that a shorter cane can also accomplish it. Honestly for true effect the cane is the one reason I've considered ordering one of the spanking machines on the market, but I'm not in a living situation that would really permit me to order any one of them except for the smallest one that mounts to a table. If I were living on my own, I'd probably take the plunge on one as it seems to be the best way to get an effective caning.
  15. A while back I decided to explore some "regular" sites to see what I could find as far as people with a spanking interest. I found a handful of people who listed the interest on OKCupid, but never got anywhere with anyone.
  16. I also was not spanked much as a child but one particular spanking I got from my father when I was 6 has always stood out. I remember all the events that led up to it and the fact that it was only four smacks with a wooden spoon on my underwear. it was one of my main go-tos until at least my college years, after I'd done enough spanking with people my age in HS and early college to have other things to think about. But like others here, I never in any way associated it with my dad doing it, it was just the fact that it was a spanking.
  17. back seat of a car on several occasions. I think minivans in particular are terrific spanking environments. plenty of room and the back windows are tinted. back in college my girlfriend and I were at a high school for something and we ducked into an office and I spanked her with a ruler I found in the desk.
  18. long ago in college, my now-wife and I were moving out of an apartment... a buddy of mine was helping and when we lifted up our bed, a paddle was sitting on the floor. whoops.
  19. Two years ago I went to the Texas All State Spanking Party. It was a fantastic experience that completely changed or my perspectives on how to meet people. TASSP and many other events like it are usually advertised through Fetlife. I found that site completely overwhelming until I used it for TASSP. Here’s what worked for me, not necessarily in terms of going, but in meeting like-minded people: go to fetlife and search for the TASSP account find the page for an event, any year is fine look at the profiles for people who rsvp’d. These are usually spanking enthusiasts, as opposed to all the other stuff on fet, and are some fantastic people. You can follow people who interest you or maybe reach out to a few. best of luck in your quest.
  20. I actually like this idea very much, but from the standpoint of requesting what I want ahead of time instead of having to direct nearly every aspect of it while I’m getting it, which is what I have to do now on the rare occasion that I get one. I’d be curious to read what you came up with if you’re willing to share.
  21. I simply asked for a birthday spanking. We’d been together four months at the time. She was fairly appalled and much later insinuated she almost ended things over it. Eventually she came around, but it didn’t last. That being said, I‘ve heard of relationships where one person will spank the other just because they want to make them happy, even if they are vanilla and don’t get anything out of it.
  22. Wandering into this with very little knowledge of context or background, but based on what you describe - my instinct is yes, he’s doing it out of spite, and run, don’t walk, away from this person. I don’t believe he’s a spanko based on what our go you’ve described. If you give in and go back, then whatever interest he’s feigning will eventually go away. That wonderful relationship that you’re envisioning will come along after he develops his interest... that will come, no doubt, but with someone else. Even taking spanking completely out of the equation, it seems like you already have extensive trust and resentment issues with this guy, and those will persist. Eventually he’ll pull things like this with your career, your kids, your hobbies, you name it. I understand there seems to be a huge emotional attachment in some way, but I can’t think of any reason to encourage you to continue in the relationship you’ve described. I am nearly 20 years into a marriage where my now-wife had zero interest when I first brought it up... then after 18 months of working on her she became interested and I had what I thought was going to be fantastic for about two years... only to watch that interest start to disappear after our engagement and marriage. Whether she did it on purpose or not to get me to commit, I don’t know. But now I never spank her and I get spanked once every coupe of years if I’m lucky. It’s not enough to end the marriage over it, but it definitely is not what I’d hoped for. If I was your age and had it to do all over again knowing what I know now, I would only start a relationship with someone I met in the spanking community - meaning someone from a site like this, or at a party/event/gathering, etc. When your interest in spanking is strong enough that you come to a site like this and open an account to talk about it, I believe you need to find someone with that similar level of interest. The only exception I’d consider is if I met someone outside of it, who threw me for a loop, that person would have to be OK with my interest and with me engaging in non-sexual spanking play with others. I wish you the best in dealing with the situation. I’d be happy to lend an ear in any way I can if you’d like to talk further.
  23. I don’t think I’ve ever given one, at least not in a very long time, but I’ve found bringing them up has been a tremendous icebreaker opportunity over the years. Or at least an opportunity to find out if someone has the interest. Proposing that I receive one is how I first broached the subject with my wife (didn’t go well). I was one of those who had a teacher in elementary school that gave them playfully. This was the mid-80s so a completely different time. But even back then (age 8 all year, going on 9) I knew I liked spanking, so it was great to watch them get administered all year and eagerly await mine in the spring. I have gotten them infrequently as an adult - my last one was five years ago - but certainly now they’re a lot different.
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