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selfsp12 last won the day on November 27 2019

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About selfsp12

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  1. NCG, How do you swing the cane to be effective. I've tried with 1-1.5 foot dowels of various thicknesses. Swing down while standing, does not hurt and the cane has to be too short. Using a wrist flick from the side is more accurate but also does not hurt. I'm not sure if my technique is wrong or it takes a large number to make it hurt. Any suggestions appreciated. I have tried diaper porition, with the same, poor results. Thanks.
  2. Maybe a late reply, but I was not spanked growing up. Yelled at, yes, not spanked. Spanking, other then knowing I didn't want one - since some of my friends were spanked, was not on my radar well into adulthood. In the last twenty years it grew from nothing to a desire for some spanks as foreplay, to a strong desire which I tried to satisfy with hand spanking or a ping pong paddle. Neither worked well for self spanking. Over the years that desire grew stronger and developed into a real strong want. That when I started putting some effort into learning how to spank myself. Now it is a solid need, that I enjoy, and makes be feel better.
  3. Red, sore, maybe some bruising, an underlying sting, and most importantly a feeling of calm, clear-headedness.
  4. I think for many in the vanilla world, spanking has sexual overtones. So in this day and age, using the word, or similar words, in the wrong company or setting, could land you in a lot of trouble. If I hear it I perk up, but I will never respond in any way. In large part because if taken the wrong way it could be considered harassment. But also, I have to admit a certain latent shame since I self-spank exclusively. Or maybe shame is not the exact emotion, maybe more of 'what you mean you can't even get a real spanking'. Which i know is all in my head, but it's there anyway. the things we can do to ourselves in our own heads by how we view things, can hurt infinitely more then any physical spanking. Of course words can always cause the most pain if not used correctly and carefully.
  5. I have to say I am similar to Amethyst. I like a spanking for the pleasure of the spanking. Nothing sexual about it, a spanking does not arouse me in any way. I enjoy a spanking, and I enjoy the stress relief. It is also just a part of me, from where I do not know. I came upon me later in life, and spent a lot of time thinking about why. I eventually figured out that the thinking about it didn't help in any way, but the spanking does. So the spanking brings pleasure, and relaxation, for it own sake not for any sexual reasons. As part of sex, it would be fun but not erotic in and of itself. The pleasure of being spanked would help the overall mood and feeling however.
  6. BBJ, Thanks. I do the same, swinging arounf my body while standing. I don't double the belt over as it just does not sting very much. I find a wider stiffer belt easier to control and swing with proper aim. A plain flat leather belt maybe 2in wide. I have a thinner but thicker woven leather belt, coach used to make them. The end frayed from use (not around my waist). I still use it with some duct tape to keep it from fraying more. I don't wear it anymore of course, but it does get used somewhat often. It's a real stinger. If I want a strapping the hurts, that's the go to. Ooch.
  7. Even flicking the wrist, which is the only way to land a swat with any accuracy, does not hurt that much. Does a large or very large number of repeats overcome that? With a wire hanger or a dowl, does quantity make up for lower pain level with each individual swat as you self-spank?
  8. BBJ. Is that swinging it around your body, or standing up and swinging downward? I swing it around my body to try get get more speed and force into the swat. I'll have the opportunity to try your suggestion this afternoon.
  9. has anyone been able to use a belt effectively? I'd love a spanking as close to an administered belt spanking as I can get. I use a belt, not doubled , but shortened and swing it around my body from the side. stings quite a bit where it lands, but I've never been able to get marks like I think you'd get with someone else swinging the belt or strap. belts tend to crack where they are doubled so I only have 1 or 2 that are stiff yet flexible enough to swing around by body. strap hurts more. I've never been able to swing downward with any force.
  10. After reading through this I am considering myself lucky, that I can satisfy my need by myself in an effective fashion. I wish my wife would help, maybe some day she will, but for now all I need is a little bit of time and privacy. With the help of some other self-spankers on this board I have learned to embrace my need for a spanking, and my taking a DIY approach. At times I've wondered why I like spanking period, why I like being spanked (even or maybe especially when I'm the spanker), why being spanked benefits me the way it does, why I just plain enjoy a spanking. A lot of questions, and no real answers. So for the most part of settled on I enjoy it, it benefits me in multiple ways, my need is satisfied (for the most part); so I self-spank when ever I can and just enjoy and I try not to over think it. I guess I am, in the end, very lucky that I have the option of satisfying this need myself.
  11. I read this a few days ago, and it made me think of something. I am also exclusively a self spanker. I spank for personal enjoyment and stress relief. On many threads on this subject I've seen phrases like 'doesn't compare to a real spanking', or similar. I think a self spanking is a real spanking. Yes it is not easy to do and takes some practice to find what implements, positions, technique works for you - but the end result can be just as real. Fortunately the connection to an ER, while it would be nice is not a deal breaker for me. In terms of the spanking itself; I think is it meets your goals, provides the level of intensity that you are looking for, i.e. satisfies your needs then it is real. Some of my spankings are harder then others, depending on how I feel or what I want or need at a given time. I am fortunate that I can work past the point where it hurts. My goals, and yours will likely be different; are to derive the pure pleasure of a spanking, and to clear my mind. The fact that the spanking clears my mind, whether I am stressed or not, is a huge plus. If the spanking meets your needs in terms of intensity and your overall goals, then I'd say it is very real. Who the arm is attached to that is swinging the implement is, for me at least, not important. Do I know if some else swinging the belt or brush would give a harder spanking, I guess it depends on their strength and experience. However either way that does not mean when the arm it attached to me the spanking is less real. My spankings in general meet my expectations of clearness of mind and soreness of rear, to me that makes it just a real as any other. Six hours later I am still sitting gingerly, it's real.
  12. I hate to bump this also, as the last few comments are so on point, but I wanted to add one item. Just like spanking is a consensual activity, submission in consensual also and that consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason. Be it a D/S scenario, or lifestyle, or not; it is in the end an activity between two PARTNERS making an informed decision to participate or not. As soon as anything is forced or coerced, in any way, it crosses that line from consent (willing participation) to abuse. That's my 2 cents, plain and simple. Thx.
  13. This topic always captures my interest. I am in the camp of I don't know why I like to be spanked, I have just learned to accept it. I was not spanked as a child, but know friends who were. I believe some of my parents kids, and cousins were also, as was my sister. I never heard or saw anything. Growing up I as afraid of a spanking, and never really got one. The desire or fascination came much later in life. Why, I have no idea. It grow from there to something I found I enjoyed, and found benefited me as stress relief and relaxation, and just plain enjoyment. I used to, and sometimes still do, worry that enjoyment may be the main driver and relaxation the end result. In the end I'm not really sure which is which or if it matters. Some folks here have helped me put this into perspective. Bottom line, is I enjoy it and it helps me, even purely as self spanking. It hurts but it is a good hurt, and the feeling afterwards is great. My 2 cents is, if you like it; do it in a safe, sane, and consensual manner, and it benefits you enjoy it and appreciate it. Many people do not have an outlet that they enjoy, is beneficial, and safe.
  14. I guess to answer my own question, it would be bent over the bed or on my stomach with a belt or strap. Sounds simple, I've never had a real spanking and a good belting has always fascinated me. I think my sister had the belt used on her once in a great while as a kid. I don't remember ever hearing, of course not seeing, but the thought of a good long belt spanking is just oh my....
  15. Let's say, for whatever reason, you could only get one more spanking in your life. Also whether you primarily self spank, directed or with a partner, that that spanking would be with a fully trusted, experienced partner; what would you want the spanking to be? How would you like that scene to play out. ER's can join also, if you could only give one more spanking to to a trusted partner..... Let's have some fun in these somewhat dismal times.
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