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selfsp12 last won the day on November 27 2019

selfsp12 had the most liked content!

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About selfsp12

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  1. The longest self spanking I recall was a couple of weeks ago. It was 40 minutes with a 5 minute break 1/2 way through, for stress relief. Talk about feeling great afterwards (well as long as I stood up that is 🙂, sitting involved a different sensation 😣 . Seriously, it was a great experience.
  2. @Jenna1220 you are quite right on all counts. I am fortunate, I guess, that self-spanking does enable me to let go like that. I don't know how a trusted partner would influence that dynamic, but for myself at least I'll count that self-spanking works as one of the blessings in my life. No where near the same plain as my wife and children, job, etc, but important nonetheless. You are absolutely right about moderation. I have to find ways to spank less, or at least for more moderate spankings to get me to the same point. Thank you. All of your perspectives and @sassylittle's are helping me kee
  3. Thank you @sassylittle. I appreciate you honesty and your replies are always well thought out. For now it works, and I'm going to follow the adage, if it works don't fix it. At least or now. Hopefully things will settle down and then I can go from there.
  4. @sassylittleThank you. I'm glad you had some a thoughtful, and clever, dom when you needed him. This started to bother me because when I first figured it out, it seemed so easy, then I realized the significance and importance spanking has in my life right now, and got concerned. I am very careful. No skin breaks or anything like that. If anything the only physical concern I have is the skin getting tougher if I continue to spank hard. It's already tougher then it used to be, but the spankings still hurt even if the after effects do not last as long, which I think is normal and not a concern. W
  5. OK. maybe sane and crazy are a bit strong, but I came to a realization that has me wondering once again 'Am I the only one?'. Not spanking, I know am not and you folks have helped me, through my posts and reading others, accept this side of me. Rather it is the reason why I self spank, and as often as I can. I am fortunate enough to have found a therapist, who I'm not sure is totally 'kink friendly', but is also not judgmental and asks good inciteful questions about this. Earlier this past week we spoke about the role spanking plays in my life; stress relief, feeling at peace, calmer, more fo
  6. @ukspankoMy goto's are a fake wood hairbrush, a 1/2in thick cutting board with a handle I found at target - makes a great paddle, and of course my two bath brushes. I have a rubber paddle which being floppy is hard to be consistent with. I've started every spanking in the past 2 weeks with 50 with that for practice. when it hits right it's a great sound and feeling. I've never been able to self spank with a cane and have it hurt. I have a variety of cords I can use and some other things. For the haerd spankins though the paddle (cutting board) and bath brushes will have me hopping.
  7. @sassylittle No problem. I didn't take anything you said as a knock on self spanking. You are lucky to have someone in your life that understands and can fulfill this need. You are 100% correct that is the risk, with getting at some point, a real spanking especially if my wife feels she can't or is not comfortable spanking me. I certainly would never push her to do something she was not comfortable with. So I could lose the one outlet I have for just the reason you said.
  8. Never having had the real experience, I cannot comment on that, but I suspect the real thing is a different experience. To me self spanking is still quite real, but different. it is the only choice I have so I have gotten good at it. Honestly some days I don't think I could go without my morning spanking (weekend being a problem of course). I'd love the to try the real thing, so to speak, but I suspect self spanking will be it for me. I try to vary what I do, how long, hard, what implements so it is different to some extent each time. A few minutes to Friday two twenty minute spankings with a
  9. Sounds like @Chawseeis quite good at what she does. I think I'd love (hate) to have the experience.
  10. it's been awhile so I thought I would bump this and see what's going on out there. This was not my last spanking but one from last week that was long, hard, and memorable. When was your last spanking? 6 days ago What were you spanked for? serious stress relief. How long was; the spanking itself, the total session including pre, post, and talking/lecturing during? about 75 minutes; 45 minutes spanking with 2 breaks, first 10 minutes and the 2nd 20 minutes, each about 1/3 of the way thru What implement or implements were used? a rubber spatula, rubber paddle, plas
  11. self spankings can, and do work for me. It's not easy and takes will power, but I can give myself a good sound paddling and yes it hurts, and is calming and relaxing (why I do it) at he same time.
  12. When my wife and I were dating, I did not know about this part of myself. It was a couple of decades later that this need arose. Telling her was embarrassing and hard, and she was less then enthusiastic about it, even as a birthday spanking. Now I need it for stress relief, and I have to broach the subject again some how.
  13. Since I give myself spankings for relaxation and to releive stress, I am not really thinking about anything. I, of course, feel the pain but that is inherent with the spanking keeping me in the moment. I am counting, watching the delivery, registering the pain; but the benefit is that my mind is totally focused on the here and now and the enjoyment of what I am experiencing. That is where the relaxation and feeling of calm comes from. I'm far from a masochist, but I really do enjoy a spanking.
  14. @Bramblewine You might well be correct in that I am wired this way, and as result of the emotional trauma of those formative years, and seeing siblings get attention from spankings, that is the method I sub-consciously choose to get the attention and some time of physical and emotional interaction with my birth parents that is so desperately craved. I don't remember details of those spankings other then they got an emotional need satisfied which equaled a good thing, and a happy thing. There is definitely a pain - pleasure thing with self-spanking today. Without the pain the effect is not the
  15. At least for me. For a very long time I wondered where this fascination, desire, want, need came from. I always assumed it was hard wired, as I was not spanked as a child. Thru an interesting turns of events over the past few months, I learned recently of my life before I as adopted. In my birth 'family' I was the youngest child, and I was not wanted. I know from things my parents (who raised me) told me, that in my birth family, I got the minimum of attention needed, whether or not I grew or thrived in any way was not important in the least. I was in and out of various homes always bac
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