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Rook

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Rook last won the day on October 30 2018

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About Rook

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    Member

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  • Age
    24
  • Location
    Virginia
  • Gender
    Male
  • Experience
    Regular
  • Role
    Spanker

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  1. What do you do so that if the thoughts or desires return you turn them away? Self control. If I have deiced that it is not what I want in my life for whatever reason and it comes up. I tell myself I do not want it, It is not good for me, it is not who I am or what I want to be, and I walk away. You need to be 100% sure it is what you want and commit. Some habits/behaviors get programmed into our minds whether naturally, malignantly, accidentally, ect... When you engage in the behavior, you reinforce it. When you deny them, you weaken them. At first it is difficult but over time the behavior dissipates. Also how were you able to figure out the underlying reasons of why it manifested in first place? A lot of self reflection. Talking to people I could, while be it few. Exposing myself to it in different ways and reflecting on my reactions. Also research into the history of spanking and reading medical/psychological journals. Having another person to talk with really helped me articulate what was happening in my head. But self reflection was key.
  2. This is a very common question, yet one I rarely see answered well. I find that a lot of people when asking the question don't really want an answer. What they want is validation. I would say many people are unwilling/unable to dig deep and figure out why. It takes a lot of self knowledge and the ability to be honest with ones self. As for the reason why. It will vary person to person. Everyone while possibly having similar experiences, each have unique experiences. There are some overall arching reason why it happens. But to figure out why it happened to you. That will take self reflection.
  3. Yes many times. I cannot say I have a method per-say. I just take a long look at myself and think about it. If I come to a conclusion that leads to quitting, then I stop.The success varies. I have taken breaks many times. Ranging from months to years without engaging. Ultimately I always come back to it in some form. Why? Well at first it was because I didn't understand the underlying reasons for why it manifested in the first place. Now after knowing why, I am back again only because I want to come to a final conclusion as to whether it has a place in my life. If I decide not, then with all confidence I can say that I am done. Spell checked
  4. Yes many times. I cannot say I have a method per-say. I just take a long look at myself and think about it if I come to a conclusion that leads to quitting, then I stop. The success varies. I have taken breaks many times ranging from months to years without engaging. Ultimately I also came back to it in some form. Why? Well at first it was because I didnt understand the underlying reasons for why it manifested i the first place. Now after knowing why, I am back again only because I want to come to a final conclusion as to whether it has a place in my life. If I decide not, then with all confidence I can say that I am done.
  5. A for a past "vanilla" relationship I had, I took things one small step at a time when we became intimate. She was very open to trying new things in bed so it wasn't too difficult. When talking about our past I causally brought up spanking to gauge a response. A couple days later, causally brought up light spanking during intimacy. That moved to different spanking positions, then bringing up implement. I started with basic little things like a wooden spoon or more kink type things like a ridding crop. I kept moving a little deeper casually bringing up different spanking topics until eventually she asked me if we should engage in DD type relationship. I think the key to my success came with 3 major factors. 1. I took baby steps when introducing new ideas and with intensity. I did not hit her hard at all at first. 2. I played to her strengths. She was open to trying new things in bed. So I chose that as my avenue of introduction. 3. I made it seem like we were learning this together. even though I already knew. I never had a confessional with her. I played it off as a random idea and let it snowball. I let her explore. I had her engage. Asking what do you think/like?
  6. "it is a bombardment of nudity in all forms." Now I am not faint of heart or anything and I am no puritan as well. But this is one of the top reasons I have avoided even looking in fetlife's direction. I do not like using websites that run like pornsites. Makes me feel sleazy. That's the reason why my only real presence in the "spanking world" is here. There's just more class.
  7. No, I am not looking for a long term partner. If some feeling were to develop we would cross that bridge if/when it happens. Defiantly not my intent. Now tinder and other dating sites. Yes, I have "heard" you can do that. But I have yet to see a success story. Tinder is awful. It is hard enough to get basic conversation let alone anything specific. If you are average or less in looks, then completely forget about it. Because even if you are above average or a super model it is hard as a guy. Now if you are willing to put money down on some of the paid benefits, you might maybe see an increase in matches. But unless you are gay or a girl I wouldnt even think about it. Just the blunt truth.
  8. *I had recently had a large wad of cash for putting a down payment on a car. I was slapping it against my hand and wondered if anyone had used a wad of cash to spank someone before. Defiantly wouldn't be used for anything serious, but would be interesting.I also have 2 knives with handmade leather sheaths. They can be used like small handheld straps and provide a good sting.
  9. Defiantly agree with this. Maybe they are more appealing do to it is what most people have grown up seeing, thinking, or hearing about. I had recently had a large wad of cash for putting a down payment on a car. I has slapping it against my hand and wondered if anyone had used a wad of cash to spank someone before. Defiantly wouldn't be used for anything serious, but would be interesting. Also I have a 2 knives with handmade leather sheaths. They can be used like small handheld straps and provide a good sting.
  10. I believe it would mean more "thorough" and "effective".
  11. How useful is fetlife as a source?
  12. What is the situation with munches and spanking parties? I am currently serious about finding a spanking partner. I feel as if I have exhausted my possibilities on finding a partner through the net. A lot of people have referred me to go to fetlife and find varying spanking events. Is this a good option? What are people's experiences with them? How do they work? What is the age demographic? I never wanted to engage in this previously because my anonymity is very important to me. I dont like meeting anyone in this area of my life unless I have had the time to look them over. It feels risky in my opinion, maybe im paranoid. Because unless anyone knows any other ways to meet a spanking partner online, I feel as this is my only other option.
  13. Really? Most older women I have met feel the exact opposite.
  14. I feel like there is a better way somewhere. But as far as I am aware besides going online and looking through different spanking/kink sites, you can find some places that host spanking events. Some small some large. For the best results try and cast a large net, try a little of everything, and be patient. It is a slow process.
  15. Thank you. I enjoy being able to have a discussion without it devolving into something distasteful. Especially with someone within my age range. Does not happen very often.
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