Handily

I think the flurry idea is good. When starting out, as you are, less is more. Err on the side of prudence; you are building for the long term. -H.

Your mileage my vary but my response would be that with a belt, especially a narrow one, harder strokes with a perceptible interval between them to allow the pain time to build are the way to go, while a hard rapid tattoo is the most painful way to apply a wooden spoon. -H.

I seriously urge you to use a safeword. This is for the benefit of both of you. It is obvious from your perspective. But from his perspective he may well be worried that he is hitting you too hard, and the reassurance that if he really is you have a means of letting him know that may help him deliever a more satisfactory experience. -H.

There seems to be consensus that a spanking is more painful for male ‘ee if he has climaxed first. Question: is the same true for females? H.

You might try diaper position. H.

As an ‘ee, I am very eager to get my underpants back on, and thereby regain some semblance of dignity. Therefore, as an ‘er, I delay permitting the ‘ee to replace them and normally require the ‘ee to ask humbly for permission to do so. But I’m wondering whether my views are perhaps influenced by the fact that I wear loose boxer shorts myself. For people who wear more tight-fitting underwear, does putting them back on while the bottom is glowing actually increase the physical discomfort? Maybe I should shorten the ee's corner time to take this into account? H.

When an ‘ee, I believe the real point of a spanking session is to be utterly dominated by the ‘er, which means specifically: a. requiring maximum nudity and display on my part and b. requiring me to own the punishment, by explaining repeatedly why this is exactly what I deserve. So I favor elements like retrieving the implement from across the room with my underpants around my ankles; removing them totally and kneeling in front of her and kissing the implement and handing it to her for use; explaining during the punishment what is happening and why; and apologizing in detail afterwards by explaining that the punishment was painful and embarrassing but fully deserved, thanking her, and vowing to do better next time. -H.

Of course the spanker is control of this. But my preference is to be made to face her and then either have her pull my underpants down to my ankles or order me to do it. H.

Makes perfect sense to me. If I am going to be spanked by a pro, I am very aroused before, during and after the session, although there is sometimes no evidence of it - and certainly no actual sexual activity - during the session. -H.

I basically agree with Explorify. One simple action you might take is to clamp his organ firmly between your thighs while he is over your lap. H.

Does anyone have experience with the use of a strategically-placed mirror to require the 'ee to see what is happening? -H.

Not to hijack the thread, but a related question. Do people prefer underpants totally off (enabling legs to be spread wider apart) or around the knees or ankles (which some believe increases embarrassment)? -H.

Yes about the leather. When a good 'er has a proper implement, leather conforms to the shape of the rear in a way that I find very satisfying as both 'ee and 'er. -H.

People interested in this topic who don't regularly check out the blogs on this site might want to take a look at what JonTx has just posted there about his relationship with his friend Debby. H.

Were this to become an issue you could consult a lawyer about a model along the following lines. You create a non-profit educational foundation, say the Fund for Human Inclusiveness, whose purpose is to provide means of further opennness in interpersonal relationships, and whose primary activity is running this website. Any member of the public can donate to the organization (and its website takes anonymous donations), and for individuals who wish, the Fund will issue a tax receipt allowing a charitable deduction. Of course legal vetting would be imperative, but this may well be doable if needed. H.