Handily

Makes sense to me. Someone's mother has known their naked body since birth. Someone's stepmother removing (or demanding the removal of) the shorts of a male whom she may not have met until his teens and who is now well past puberty is a whole different matter. H.

Agreed. I have had a naked woman stand facing the wall with her arms above her head for a paddling, I have supported her by keeping my hand firmly between her legs. When this has been intended as non-sexual but an assertion of control on my part, it has been received that way. She has felt more completely dominated but not molested. H.

This topic provoked a great variety of views the last time it was discussed. But as far as I am concerned, go slow. Presumably you will gradually build up a sexual relationship, and as you do you will each feel more comfortable in sharing particular desires. This seems to me to be part of that process. When things are at the point of serious long-term relationship building, you can further discuss in that process. Although I know that other people feel it is a waste of time to go this route if the issue is a hard-stop for you, I myself think that setting too many non-negotiable

Leem: As an 'er, I agree that keeping the 'ee in various positions keeps her from getting too comfortable in any one. I also agree that the final round should be OTK for the reason you say. But I disagree about the diaper postion; the very reasons you dislike it are the ones that make it so desriable from the 'er's viewpoint! H.

I think the flurry idea is good. When starting out, as you are, less is more. Err on the side of prudence; you are building for the long term. -H.

Your mileage my vary but my response would be that with a belt, especially a narrow one, harder strokes with a perceptible interval between them to allow the pain time to build are the way to go, while a hard rapid tattoo is the most painful way to apply a wooden spoon. -H.

I seriously urge you to use a safeword. This is for the benefit of both of you. It is obvious from your perspective. But from his perspective he may well be worried that he is hitting you too hard, and the reassurance that if he really is you have a means of letting him know that may help him deliever a more satisfactory experience.

There seems to be consensus that a spanking is more painful for male ‘ee if he has climaxed first. Question: is the same true for females? H.

You might try diaper position. H.

As an ‘ee, I am very eager to get my underpants back on, and thereby regain some semblance of dignity. Therefore, as an ‘er, I delay permitting the ‘ee to replace them and normally require the ‘ee to ask humbly for permission to do so. But I’m wondering whether my views are perhaps influenced by the fact that I wear loose boxer shorts myself. For people who wear more tight-fitting underwear, does putting them back on while the bottom is glowing actually increase the physical discomfort? Maybe I should shorten the ee's corner time to take this into account?

When an ‘ee, I believe the real point of a spanking session is to be utterly dominated by the ‘er, which means specifically: a. requiring maximum nudity and display on my part and b. requiring me to own the punishment, by explaining repeatedly why this is exactly what I deserve. So I favor elements like retrieving the implement from across the room with my underpants around my ankles; removing them totally and kneeling in front of her and kissing the implement and handing it to her for use; explaining during the punishment what is happening and why; and apologizin

Of course the spanker is control of this. But my preference is to be made to face her and then either have her pull my underpants down to my ankles or order me to do it. H.

Makes perfect sense to me. If I am going to be spanked by a pro, I am very aroused before, during and after the session, although there is sometimes no evidence of it - and certainly no actual sexual activity - during the session. -H.

I basically agree with Explorify. One simple action you might take is to clamp his organ firmly between your thighs while he is over your lap. H.

Does anyone have experience with the use of a strategically-placed mirror to require the 'ee to see what is happening? -H.