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SwitchWithMe last won the day on May 11 2021

SwitchWithMe had the most liked content!

About SwitchWithMe

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  1. It’s really impossible to use brute force to push someone into a punishment space. Brute force quickly becomes an assault which has a very different response. It is also something with quickly diminishing returns as neurochemistry (e.g. endorphins) and psychology (e.g. dissociation) will have unplug the person. I have encountered too many cases where people have reported brutality being used to dial in intensity. For me the key is psychology. I really have always known my spankees very well. We have always done a lot of talking about spanking interests, needs, motivations, so it’s possible to dial in very strong reactions through dialog and spanking ritual. Everyone has their quirks. Buttons to push. If I pay attention, I learn them. I have a spanking friend now. If I push all her buttons just right, she’ll be on the verge of crying before we even start the spanking. Not from being bullied or threatened. Her thing is inevitably and accountability. Being told exactly what will happen to her. A certain vibe of being unsentimental about it, to the point. If all these parts are in place, I don’t have to brutalize her as she’s going tip into her zone easily. That doesn’t mean a strategy to spank her with a feather, but to get more bang for the buck, more smack from the licks.
  2. Have been hit hard by the news that a old spanko friend had the crap beaten out of her by her spanker / domestic partner.

    He took her ID, wallet, keys to her car. Punched her in the face, pulled her to the ground. On the way to a family event. Left her helpless in the night.

    I am hit harder that she will not leave him. I always knew he was abusive from pictures of her body that she’d share when she was hurt.

    I was sick by this today. Just wandered a utility trail under high tension lines till it got darker.

    1. Wifey


      It’s hard when you care about someone and they can’t/won’t get out of a dangerous situation. That’s not a Spanker. That’s an ahole

    2. otkpantsdown 49

      otkpantsdown 49

      Domestic abuse is a serious problem. MOST times even when the cops arrest the perp the victim fails to show up in court. This has happened in my own family! A MALE relative was abused by his wife. She would get drunk then beat him when he fell asleep, One night he finally called the cops, who arrested her. He never showed for court. Case dismissed.

      They finally got divorced!

  3. Had a few people ask me about this trouble I’ve had with people on SN— in chat and people I’ve meet through SN.

    I tell them I don’t know.

    I’ve not met anyone through SN. I have one real life spanking friend, and I’ve known her since 1996 or so.

    I really haven’t tried meeting anyone new. I dunno. A pandemic, being in the ICU and almost dying.

    And I certainly haven’t been heavy with anyone in chat. I’m either lagged out, and if I’m not my ADD keeps me from following anything but a one-one conversation, so I gets lost and lose interest.

    It’s occurred to me that maybe somebody is just fucking with me.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. AfterGeometry


      I've been fucked with on innumerable occasions on my long sojourn into virtual space.  I was naive for too long, then got hip to it, yet still manage to get hoodwinked (or allow myself to get hoodwinked? hmmm).  The Internet has a way that makes us all crazy.  Sometimes you need to step away and re-engage.  

    3. SwitchWithMe


      Pretty much my whole experience on SN has been horrible.

      Largely because people I know in real life are on here. I have long standing problems with them, and I don’t know who they are on here, but they know me because they recognize some stories I’ve shared. So I’ll be tortured by them, and there’s nothing I can do.

    4. SwitchWithMe


      Pretty much my whole experience on SN has been horrible.

      Largely because people I know in real life are on here. I have long standing problems with them, and I don’t know who they are on here, but they know me because they recognize some stories I’ve shared. So I’ll be tortured by them, and there’s nothing I can do.

  4. I know from my conversations with many on SN that male switches are presumed to be incapable of being spankers because they are submissive and inherently spankees. I am not sure what to think of that perception. If I were to do statistics on the spanking scenes I’ve engaged in, > 95% would be as a spanker. I consider myself a switch because I’m interested in and curious about both roles. Curiously I have met male spankers who get occasionally spanked, probably more than I ever have, and they don’t consider themselves switches, but wholly spankers. This is a strong enough assumption that I’ve met people here who won’t even talk with a male switch, as they feel it is all a deception. We’re all just spankees. I guess there is a common deception where spankees pretend to be switches to get access to spankers, reluctant spankers, who are really spankees looking for their own spankers… I have never encountered that view in real life, or other sites. Just on SN. Another view I have never encountered before coming to SN is that switches have to be both spankee and spanker at a given time. Ideally in the same relationship. Even in the same scene. For me being a switch means I’m open to being either. It really depends upon connection. There are some people I connect with and naturally want to spank. Others are laughable as a spankee. Others I connect with naturally as them being a spanker. Others are laughable in that role too. Some would be fun to flip back and forth with. Yet others I have no spanking interest in. Anothet assumption I find is that a male switch is like any other spanko. Hyper sexualized about spanking. I can certainly find spanking erotic. I can also find it not. This just might be my own thing as I’m demisexual/sapiosexual. Even outside the spanking world. Erotic connections take a lot of connection and work for me.
  5. Social identities are tricky online. If we create real verifiable social identities, then online actions have consequences. We are dealing with people with real faces attached to real names who live in real places with real ways of contacting them. I am part of such online communities and it’s nice in many ways. I know the people in real life. I have met them in meat space, or at least spoken candidly with them. The consequences are positive and negative. People are in a one’s life in a broader context. If they act badly a whole tribe sees it. Spanking sites have been problematic for me. Just as political and religious sites are. People judge others on the basis of their views and experiences and act out in cyber-social ways perceived to be appropriate. Attacks, stalking, nastiness, spreading rumors, triangulation between people. Things that would be moderated if we had real social identities. I have had a lot of problems from members of this site. I currently am having a user say things about my spanking life that are just not true. I have just not met the people mentioned. I think most people like having certain communities be anonymous because these drams with a verifiable real life social identity could be disastrous. I have had spanking life leak into the rest of life and it was really problematic.
  6. Was chatting with somebody who told me that a member of SN told them that I had met them in real life and had abused them.

    This person also told them that I was abusive to people in the chat.

    They said they were going to tell everyone I chatted with (based on my profile history, visiting people) that I was abusive to spankees.

    They also told me that this member had told them that my stories about my friend who had a bad scene were true, but that it was me who had abused them.


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. SwitchWithMe


      Admins can’t help as I am talking with SN members off SN, in real life. I don’t even know what their names are here. I just have what they report being told about me on SN. That I have met and abused people, and that I am abusive in chat.

    3. AfterGeometry


      Maybe they are just screwing with you.  I wouldn't put too much credence into what this person is saying.  Maybe seriously reconsider your friendship with said person (s). 

    4. SwitchWithMe


      It’s hard to know if it is people causing problems or if it is reflecting something going on here on SN. 

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