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  1. We've continued to talk about all this, and the conclusion which has been reached is that TTWD and my participation on this forum are excessive stressors on our marriage and are likely not healthy for me, personally. As such, I will not be participating here for the foreseeable future. I did just post a survey, so I might check in on the results occasionally, but I'm trying to otherwise distance myself from a pattern of behavior which is causing turmoil in my life. I'm not asking for my account or postings to be deleted, or for people to leave me alone. I just felt it proper to explain. Thank you to many for the kind words of support and guidance. They are appreciated.
  2. Based upon discussions here, I have been wondering what the prevalence of mental health concerns are among spankos. This is really directed toward EEs, but ERs are welcome to answer, too.
  3. Wife and I watch Shameless. In a recent episode (season 7) two characters come up with a safe word for some sex-play. Octopus. Good as any, I suppose. Great topic, BTW. Fun and lighthearted...
  4. The stated age is notably older than the listed date of birth. There's a flag on the play...
  5. Medical oppinion... While super scary, that's unlikely to require any medical intervention aside from pain management during healing. If there is damage to underlying muscle, then rhabdomyolysis and subsequent acute kidney injury are concerns. Bruising will likely take more than a month to go away completely. EDIT: Didn't notice the posting date when I replied. Hoping healing went well.
  6. I guess that depends on what you mean by romantic. Romance can mean eroticism, amor, or some combination of both. When I think of romance, I imagine two people staring lovingly into each other's eyes over candle light. Sure, there's an erotic aspect of TTWD, but getting one's ass beat isn't really romantic. It's intimate and can be done with love. But I don't think of romance when I hear the word spanking.
  7. It's been difficult, for sure. As one expects, the phrase "I don't get it" has been uttered a few times and there are things which are upsetting (rightfully) to her. I'm dealing with the shame and guilt of keeping a secret and of blindsiding her with all this. Poor thing couldn't sleep last night, which I didn't know till I got up today. I appreciate the advice and support.
  8. I revealed my secret spanko nature to my wife today, who's about as vanilla as can be My hand was somewhat forced. I was looking on the forum, here, on my phone and she looked over my shoulder to see what I was up to and then demanded an explanation when I closed the browser suddenly and had an obviously guilty look on my face. I briefly considered lying and saying it was porn or something, but decided to bite the bullet. Her first reaction was concern that it was some kind of infidelity thing. She asked if I was an ee or ER, basically, and if I wanted her to spank me or someone else or what, to which I replied I wasn't sure what I want, which is true. Also was surprised that it's not sexual and immediately wondered if it was a mental health issue and asked again about childhood disciplinary spanking (we've talked about it before). It definitely freaked her out a little bit. She mostly couldn't wrap her head around what we'd have to talk about on this forum. I just felt the need to share.
  9. First thing that came to mind would be for the sub to have supper ready and be standing in the corner pantsless with their dom's favorite implement out and waiting. Then don't say or do anything when they get home, without instruction; just stand silently in the corner until spoken to. IDK if that qualifies. Just the first scenario that ran through my mind.
  10. No way. Good behavior gets rewards, not doing something wrong ring and then feeling sorry about it. I think in a DD/LTR situation a reward (extra sexual attention) should arrive only when the "sub" shows genuine improvement in their behavior and attitude beyond what was expected of them.
  11. Well, the only channel we got at work for a couple of years in the break room played Law&Order SVU non-stop. But all joking aside, I grew up with an acquaintance who's a convicted pedophile & in jail. I wasn't his type, but I saw this kind of behavior. It really is what the creepers do. They befriend whoever they are into and try to slowly sneak their perversion on the victim.
  12. Honestly, I just want an app that can do something as simple as count slaps by sound. An an app that locks your phone from other use until you complete a spanking assignment with a corner time timer and scolding in different voices would be pretty easy and would go a long way.
  13. I think just the opposite is true. OTK, the spanker can feel muscle tension in the ee and predict when they might wiggle or try to buck and then respond accordingly by either holding them more firmly or withholding an incoming strike. In all of the unsecured positions there is the risk that an ee could move at the wrong moment and a blow strike the wrong spot causing unintended injury. Face down would be a higher risk than bent over, since the whole body is in he same horizontal plane. If you wiggle or even stand up from a bent over position, your back and legs stay out of the "strike zone" and all that is risked is hitting the side of he butt or something. You could move, when face down, so that a blow lands on your sacrum or low back pretty easily. Much caution reds to be exercised in the face down position.
  14. Sounds kinda creepy, like the way a child predator would give advice to find a victim...
  15. I suppose what I'm thinking is more along the lines of the ee reaching the point where they change their attitude about the behavior. Where they realize that whatever drove them to do the prohibited thing is no longer worth risking the consequence. Basically only useful for when an ee rationalizes their behavior somehow. Again, I generally agree with the sentiment on here; the lecture and reflection time (corner or otherwise) are much more valuable. Maybe my thinking comes more more from my own idealistic fantasy of being spanked into submission...
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