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About NickW

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  1. Ideally, a spanking should be given by somebody who cares very much for the person whom he or she is spanking, whose best interests should always be right at the top of the agenda. Self-indulgence and -satisfaction can be ugly characteristics at the best of times. In situations such as these, they are potentially very dangerous.
  2. In practical terms, try to limit close attention to those things about which you are in a position to do something tangible and positive - which usually means within your real-life social sphere. Obviously, exercise your rights where you can in seeking to make the world more like the place that you would like it to be. It is a tragic reality that a vast number of human beings have no such rights. Try to focus on people, in particular, who can inspire you and motivate you. It is very easy to succumb to the temptation to despair, as I know from experience, but learning to see the truly inspiring qualities of some fellow human beings, both within my real life and out there in the public arena, has helped enormously. Lastly, one way of dealing with negative thoughts is to attempt to fill your mind with other things that will displace those thoughts, such as pursuing a form of activity or interest for which you have a passionate concern. The actual subject that you choose is entirely up to you, for you answer to no person for where you set your priorities. What matters is replacing the negative energy with a more positive and constructive internal chemistry. There was a time when I found such a notion ridiculously fanciful, but experience has, thankfully, taught me better. To paraphrase a well known quotation: Whatsoever things are good, think on these! I suspect that his exhortation came from a person who was facing exactly the same mind travails as those that gave rise to this very interesting and understandable posting. Plus ├ža change......
  3. Life does sometimes deliver the most delicious surprise visual snacks and treats. A cheeky smile is a truly potent tonic. Glad you enjoyed yours, Warwick. Savour the moment and cherish the memory of it.
  4. Maybe it is a mixture of endorphin activity and the comfort of feeling truly loved and cared for, supplemented in some cases by the pleasant anticipation of being in that intimate situation with someone very special. Maybe it's best that we don't fully understand. If we did, we'd probably try to meddle with it and end up making a total hash of it. Enjoy TTWD with a free heart and body and let it work its magic on you and on your partner.
  5. I have never given a disciplinary spanking, but I do know how I felt when I spanked someone. Firstly, I felt trusted and very honoured to have won her trust. Secondly, I felt under an obligation to honour her trust by giving her exactly what she needed from her spanking. Thirdly, deeply appreciative of her trust in me, which generated a very potent feeling of warmth and care towards her. I realise that my experience is very pale alongside that of the more experienced spankers, but it is something I would not have wanted to miss.
  6. Some spanking 'couples' develop a body language code for this very reason. A lot of people, for whatever reason, do find it hard to articulate a need or desire for intimacy at any level, Having the sort of code that develops as people get to know one another can be a useful workaround, once both parties are happy that they are confident of their ability to read the partner's body language. Another good reason to avoid rushing in too quickly for some people.
  7. Happily - and this is one of the good things about the internet - there is ALWAYS a chance that somebody out there is looking for somebody just like you, Warwick, or just like any of the others amongst us. We are not tied to one geographical community. Even I have had surprises in this lifestyle, not horrendously far back either. Just throw away any idea of an agenda (ladies, I suspect, do not like to feel that they are being regarded as prey to meet a predator's needs and ambitions, whatever they may be and however they may be dressed up). Try to be natural, be yourself, then let friendships have the chance to seed and take root. After that, see how they grow. Provided that growth is not forced, the potential is indefinable. Best wishes for your success.
  8. I would expect a spankee to let me know if she was beginning to feel distressed in a way that made her feel ill at ease. I would hope that her body language and verbals would give clear information as to how she was coping with the spanking. As other contributors have said, if I cannot detect alarm and distress in her, I should not be spanking her. Basically, therefore, I expect honest and clear communication in all dealings and at all levels of interaction. I would hope that the spankee would put herself in a mental state in which she could derive the maximum pleasure, reward, benefit, fulflment, whatever, from the experience. Her benefit, in whatever form, is the primary objective. Just for the record, I only say 'she' because my experience in adult life has been limited to M/f roles.
  9. I regard spanking as something I really enjoy, but I'm not sure I would like to 'need' it, as that would create dependency and that can could have a detrimental impact on a life that ought to be enjoyable. It is the absence of need that actually makes spanking so enjoyable. With the right person - and it may take take time and a lot of patience to wait for that person - it can be one of the most captivating forms of interaction and one of the most rewarding, mentally and physically, ideally for spanker and spankee. As caningabottom said, there are usually many ways available for tackling the various problems that life throws at us. However, these TTWD can work very effectively, even enjoyably and rewardingly, when compatible people get together and open up to one another honestly and constructively in this way. Take your time, HopefullySomeday, and I truly hope that your nick will prove both prophetic and wonderful when it happens.
  10. I tried this a long time ago but never mastered the technique. Ultimately, it dawned on me, oddly as it may seem, that most of the richness in TTWD came from the way my mind was involved rather than from what my body felt. I found it impossible during those few attempts at self-service even to approach the degree of fulfillment that comes from interaction with another person, preferably on a freely-given basis rather than that of a commercial encounter, which never really compared with non-commercial spanking. I can, however, fully understand why people self-spank and cane. It can be far better than nothing at all.
  11. I don't think same sex spanking has to be gay on either side of the gender divide. As for comfort in spanking a member of my own sex, or being spanked by another man, I have no adult experience, but I cannot see a problem if two people connect at the necessary level.
  12. Thank you, Christie, for giving the opportunity for further evidence that there are still a lot of people who feel very passionately about the issues that you raise. I suspect that, whilst some people may seek to use sites such as SN for their own dubious and unacceptable ends, the majority are totally behind you. It is the people who are still outside who worry me and who only seem to find their way here when they have had a very negative encounter. I do wish there was a way in which people, young or old, who are contemplating this very attractive and well-loved scene could be persuaded to become part of Communities like SN and, particularly in the case of ladies, to network with experienced females who can help and guide them on the basis of their personal experience and wisdom.
  13. It is perhaps possible that understanding the mechanisms might tempt you to tinker with them and, in so doing, interfere with your enjoyment of the element of mystique that surrounds TTWD. Having an analytical mind and seeking deeper understanding is most commendable in many spheres of life I am just unsure as to whether or not this, or any of the other activities involved in extremely close relationships, is one of them.
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