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no^angel last won the day on October 4 2018

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About no^angel

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  • Birthday 02/08/1979

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  1. @sassylittleyou are definitely not alone. And you had DDlg in the mix, iirc. There's a deeper level of vulnerability there. It's not easy reclaiming the parenting reins of your own inner child when someone else has had them for a long time. All those self-soothing, self-nurturing, self-moderating tasks are hard to stay on top of for healthy adults during good times, much less for someone with a little side who is suddenly having to adult by themselves again during a time of loss. I've talked to a few spankees/subs who were one-and-done in the DDlg relationship department because of
  2. I'm sorry you're going through this. I thought I’d almost mastered the art of letting go gracefully, but when I lost a longterm D/s relationship a couple of years ago, my coping skills weren’t up to the challenge. It was one of the most difficult times in my life, harder to get through, frankly, than a divorce and other losses I’ve experienced that should have been more more serious. I don’t have much standing to give good advice because I did a lot of things wrong, but maybe I can be useful as a study in what doesn’t work: Sticking around the same (real or virtual) places where he
  3. I love this And I'm all for the phrase "gift of submission" being reclaimed so that it no longer carries such a negative symbolism of outdated attitudes in the community and instead symbolizes a more yin-yang view of the gifts we give each other in balanced relationships. I know that submission as a gift is an important concept for many, so I try to dismiss my kneejerk cringe reaction and take it in context. It's not something I'd usually even point out, much less criticize, but your thread helped me examine my own reaction to it, so thank you.
  4. The "gift of submission" phrase does makes me cringe a little bit. I don't see it as much anymore, but it used to be all over the place in the 90s online spanko and BDSM communities, so I began to associate it with a certain paradigm that was prevalent at the time. Under that paradigm, female submission was overly romanticized/idealized, almost in the same way female virginity was during the purity movement culture that was sweeping the country at about the same time. It had a similar flavor, if that makes sense. From my perspective, the focus at the time was so female sub-centric that Dominan
  5. @StevenSampson, heavy wooden implements can blister me pretty quickly if used hard. Any bleeding I've had came from the continued use of wood on already blistered skin, but it was in very tiny spots that healed fast without any pus or other sign of infection. It's never been a problem for me...not that I'm into blood, but I agree that it's not always entirely avoidable. I've noticed that spankees with a predisposition for rashes, bumpier skin like with keratosis pilaris, or skin that's either thinner naturally or due to weight changes and/or normal aging seem to have more trouble with thi
  6. Capsaicin-travel happened to me once. I frantically googled how to neutralize the burn and came upon the milk remedy. Cue me going through an entire gallon of skim (only needed externally, thank God, not internally like Oldbrat mentioned). Everyone must be right about different tolerances because my tolerance for capsaicin on more delicate areas was so low that I didn't even close the refrigerator door behind me. Milk everywhere. And It only worked for a few seconds at a time, so as the milk jug got emptier and emptier, it felt like an increasingly desperate situation, and it was 😂 M
  7. The Big Bang Theory scene is my favorite of the ones they covered, but it's really hard to choose. Outlander and Secretary would be my other Top 3. Wait, no, Californication. 🤔 Yeah, I can't decide I hate this series is over! There are lots of other film and TV spanking scenes, so I hope they do another video someday. Thanks again for sharing, @Bramblewine.
  8. I've picked up dominant and submissive vibes, not necessarily spanko vibes. In one case, it was so clear to me that a trio of people I was talking to were a D/s poly triad that I subtly outed myself in a way they could choose to take the bait or not. They did. Their expressions were priceless, and it led to an open and fun exchange. Even though they responded so well, I kind of regretted having done it in retrospect just because I worried it was inappropriate at that time and place. But there was nobody else around to overhear, and someone vanilla wouldn't have picked up on it anyway. The choi
  9. @cat627, welcome back. I wasn't here the last time you were, but I already relate to you after reading your new posts. It seems I'm not alone in that. I know I'm late to this thread, but for what it's worth, I'll try to share my own experience and thoughts. The thoughts you're having and the questions you're asking are the same ones I've been struggling with for the last two years since my last long-term D/s relationship ended. I changed a lot during that relationship, mostly for the better, but the changes were all tangled up in the dynamic. They didn't feel completely mine. The dynamic
  10. I know you asked forever ago, but I’ll post anyway in case it helps someone else. For anyone with spankees who have little sides, behavior charts can work really well. In person, sticker charts and the like are adorable and can give consistent, positive reinforcement in a little-friendly way. For long distance, there are apps for this with virtual stars or stickers. Some of them let you set tasks and add custom rewards the little can earn with their stars. Because you can check the app at any time, it helps with feeling connected day to day.
  11. Thanks for posting the new part, @Bramblewine. Hornblower: only a 1 for me. I really don't like military/naval CP scenes. I've seen several over the years - the one in Master and Commander comes to mind first - and they're too severe for me to enjoy. I usually skip these movie scenes entirely by fast forwarding or closing my eyes. Outlander: A favorite of mine, but I agree there's too much wrestling around for it to be perfect. Having read this book, it does fit with what you'd expect from Claire's character, though. In the book, the aftereffects extend way beyond that scene at brea
  12. Just curious whether this was serial killer John Edward Robinson. The timeframe sounds about right. I'm about the same age as you and encountered him on IRC when I was 19 or 20. Sorry if I'm dredging up more bad memories. I've met several spankos from other sites, but most of those were other subs/spankees who I only met a time or two. A couple of them turned into longer term relationships, but I met my most significant relationship partners offline.
  13. These videos were so much fun that I hardly noticed the better part of an hour passing. My own ratings (sadly without hairbrush emojis) 50 Shades: 2. I did enjoy it the first time I watched it, but it just feels so fake. You can just feel how much these actors don't connect with the scene. Dead Poet's Society: 4. Love a good school scene, and his reaction is pretty accurate, ime. That 3rd swat is usually the one my composure starts to crack. I agree that the sound seems off, though. Handmaid's Tale: 3 Blue Hawaii: 5, but I feel like a heathen for shorting it a hairbrush. Wee
  14. Honestly, every leather paddle I've ever met was wimpy but pleasant enough for erotic spanking. I'm sure there are fiercer ones out there that I haven't met. Straps and tawses, on the other hand... I guess extra length goes a long way with leather. That Spanking Buddy is interesting, though! Please let us know how you like it if you try that one.
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