danadares

I didn't see anything political here until your response. Boebert is a citizen, and subject to the same ethics as everyone. It doesn't matter what political party she belongs to, and her intelligence is questionable regardless. We could talk about the allegedly crooked Bob Menendez today, but he's not a young woman who people want to spank. This is a spanking site, and as far as I can tell, this thread was about punishing misbehavior until you steered it in a different direction. If you feel the need to defend the woman, then make your point. There is no reason to stop the discussion.

My connection to spanking is strongly tied to the idea of adolescent rebellion and the confrontation with associated authority. The dynamic there was completely real for me. We're supposed to outgrow that but, as adults, it's not always a complete or lasting transformation. In your marriage, your inner teenager is living under strict authority, which is the kind of relationship that has always been my fascination.

Disciplinary spanking is my interest, where sex is not a conscious part of it. However, the reason I think about it is that it's arousing. There must be separation in time from spanking to sex but, ultimately, at some point, there is sexual gratification from having had the experience, apart from any emotional bonding that was involved. It's hard to explain, but the more non-sexual the spanking is in the way it is experienced and carried out, the more erotic the idea and memory of it is.

I don't like the idea. It's never come up with anyone I've known. If done safely, I can see how it could be appealing to others. Thinking about it, slapping anything is a spanking, and if it's a good stimulation… but the spanking that has had such a strong draw on me most of my life is narrowly limited to one specific target, not just as a physical experience, but a unique psychological stimulation as well. The breasts are nowhere near any of that.

And thus the invention of the "safe word."

Do we need a topic for erotic disciplinary spankings?

I would talk to her and get a lot of specifics on what she wants to try, and where her limits are. Many women would not even consider it. Some are very enthusiastic about it, but only applied within a much narrower range of impact than conventional spanking. Typically, you need an implement that is relatively soft and light but, again, talk with her about it.

I haven't seen that terminology, but engaging in this kind of sexual control for heightened pleasure is common in bdsm relationships. And many people into spanking for discipline also enjoy power exchange for pleasure. My wife is not really into discipline, so I must be a Pleasure Dom. I can't wait to tell her my new title. lol

The reason fun or sexually-oriented spanking is not really worth talking about for me, and not that interesting, is it is just the act and sensations of smacking a butt. Punishment is about something much deeper than that, also a smacking of the mind, not to injure but to heal. It must be an emotional experience, and the emotional connection between ER and EE is made through verbal communication.

Looking at this poll again, and answers like this, I realize it really is primarily about relationship intimacy. Even in a non-sexual relationship, if I remove the closeness felt to the other person, there really is nothing. That's not to say the other benefits are superfluous, it's just that the real point of spanking is not merely to achieve a practical or sexual goal. I would have no motivation to actually pursue the experience without the human connection.

I think compatibility is at the center of the issue. Discipline to me is for the benefit of the one being disciplined. Forcing you to be someone you're not is rarely beneficial. There's role-playing, where bratting is a fun way to stage a need for spanking, but that's a game, and you make your rules of the game as needed. With an actual discipline relationship, you are who you are. Some definition of the word brat is not going to answer anything. What matters is that you and your D/ER are happy with the relationship. If they can't handle the real you, then it wasn't meant to be. I think there should be no hard feelings about it.

No matter the padding, I would hope the spanker is being cautious with a first-time spankee. I'm not a medical pro, but there are also different skin types, ages and health with more or less susceptibility to damage or injury. Personally, I would consider the amount of padding on the butt as an important consideration in choosing an implement and how hard to apply it. Seems like common sense to me.

Thanks for bringing up another interesting topic. Even if I was looking for a partner, I would remain publicly anonymous online. My kink is a very private thing in vanilla life, and I'm comfortable with that. Online is a different kind of meeting place. It starts in the dark, full of unknowns, and we must work our way towards the light. Once I got to know someone online, and they would likely be anonymous too, that's where a normal relationship begins. Ready to take things to the next level, only then would we reveal ourselves as in the normal real-world relationship we want and trust. I see no downside to that approach. It's just a bit safer than exposing myself to so much of the unknown in cyberspace. I think for people who want to be a recognized figure in the spanking community, where an online profile is their calling card to real-world social interactions or services they provide, anonymity could be a disadvantage. I'm a monogamous person with no spanking community ambitions, so information remains on a need-to-know basis.

Most women are shorter than me, but it's not something I give much thought to. For OTK spanking, there's some advantage to shorter. It really doesn't matter. Even from a superficial physical standpoint, the most attractive woman on the planet could be short, tall, or anything in-between.

The way I see it, a consensual relationship is just that. If an ER is looking for a "sub" who wants to be dominated in such a way that they allow the Top to always top, then find that compatibility. There are bottoms who have specific needs, and they may want a "service top." There are bottoms who want to be dominated, but on their terms. They may need a certain level of control, and only relinquish it when the time is right. There is no right or wrong other than what fits people's desires. No best way. Trust the person with the desire. Look for complementary desires that fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. No one should be forced to march in step with the label that they choose to identify with. A "bottom" should not be shamed or coerced into anything that doesn't fit their desires.