redzonedefense_F

Thanks for posting. I'm guessing it's important to state your role, what you enjoy about being in said role, how long you've been engaging/interested, if there was a particular incident that motivated you to start exploring, what you're seeking/not/why, as best you can explain. Perhaps also, if you are able/willing to travel and if someone is coming to you, whether or not you can host. When setting up the first encounter(s), whether the intention is meet with no other expectation, meet first with the potential to engage or if engaging in play/discipline is the only plan.

If you have a true desire to change, then it can be a motivator. Unfortunately, there are some that ask for guidance as a manipulation. "Oh. I (purposely) didn't do as we agreed," and then it becomes about feeding the need on an unspoken level. If you can connect to it genuinely, have someone who cares enough to be invested in how and why to help motivate you and you want to improve, that counts for the lion's share.

I enjoy either view and agree that headspace is important. But, one of the other reasons one may opt for one versus the other is to keep the kicking to a minimum. I'll take them down to your knees. If you don't keep safe, they go down to the ankles. Harder to kick and squirm. You keep it up, they come off and your legs are getting pinned. Tsk.

If we can beat the tourist traffic, we really aren't that far apart. My name is Heather and I live in Portland.