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I did mention it, after seeing the clinician for nearly 6 months. Her reaction seemed more about intrigue rather than assistance. I left shortly thereafter. It hadn't been a good fit, but I didn't want to judge too quickly.

It depends on what works for the spankee. Sometimes, it helps to be in the headspace to be scolded continuously. Sometimes, focus on the feel of the spanking is best. My preference is to scold before then punctuate certain points during.

Finding my first spanking site (after a late night "what the hell" search) was not only a game-changer, it was a life-changer. For so many years, I thought I had to be the only one, that there had to be something wrong with me. Finding a community of people who understood, who 'got it,' gave me a sense of self-acceptance and eventually, outright pride. Yes, this is who I am and there's nothing wrong with that. To the contrary, that's pretty flippin' cool. I met my husband on a site. The process of growth from that wide-eyed newbie to who I am now has taught me a great deal and provid

It sounds like you view this positively. However, the idea that someone would say your safeword is not allowed feels very unsafe

I met my husband on another site. The ability to have this shared interest and the natural intimate nature of opening up about it was a wonderful jumping off point. 17 years together. Life is short. Have fun with it. You just never know.

I would imagine that there is a certain combination of feel and emotional and/or mental connection with the spanker, the circumstance or the implement. We may know why we're drawn to certain things, we may not. Bot, oh what fun to find out!

I'm a fan of Cane-iac's wares. One of my most recent purchases was the 4-hole lexan paddle. It's light and I cannot see a circumstance in a typical spanking (if there is such a thing) that would cause it to break. Cannot wait to dust that one off!

1. Giving a spanking in r/l (Always, always the first choice) 2. Video (That has some sort of premise) 3. Literature (As said before, if done well and with some sort of premise) 4. Still image (Where I can determine my own backstory) 5. Audio (I won't deny a certain thrill to specific sounds) 6. Watching a spanking in r/l (Living vicariously doesn't do much for me. Put me in, Coach! )

Welcome and enjoy!

Sorry. I forgot this part. Should she have spoken up if she was able? Yes. But she wasn't. Should the people around have erred on the side of caution and said something if they had concerns? Yes. Ultimately, it is a Top's responsibility to ensure the person trusting them with their person and their psyche is safe. Even with people I know well and have interacted before, I still check in, repeatedly. Our moods and tolerances can vary significantly from day to day. There is no 'one size fits all." If you are not sure, do not act. It's not worth the risk.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. You were not present, and I'm guessing, never would have predicted such a thing to be possible. There were a few areas where there could have been safeguards in place. Perhaps your friend hadn't anticipated having that reaction, and so she was caught unaware. Now that she knows it's possible, there should always be someone with her that can speak up for her limits if/when she is unable. It is a frightening risk, that she was in the company of strangers and this went on with people being uncertain at best and oblivious or unconcerned at worst. It

I think it has been a gift to have experience from both sides and though it may not be fore everyone, it can be very rewarding. As you said, you can roll with just about anything. I agree that there can be challenges. I could not see myself switching roles quickly. If I was in one role, I would need time (the better part of a day, at minimum) to be able to be in the other. Headspace and time to process are far too critical. But, that may be just me,

I have, also ... between this one and one other site. Married one of them. Been together 17 years. Take the time to get to know people beforehand and be patient. Not many can have worlds colliding.

There's something to be said for the flipside of this. as well. While there are habits and behaviors that make my palm itch in a more serious vein (as was mentioned previously, acting in a reckless fashion), there are also habits and behaviors that are meant to entice and inspire more pleasant interactions (like when one is cooking with their back to you and they just happen to dust some flour off on the back of their jeans). Then again, there are less subtle hints, The first night I met an old friend in person, he literally threw himself over my lap. Who am I to refuse?