[EE's choosing implements?]

for a punishment spanking probably not, but I've find its a fun way to mess with someone's head space. give them a choice between two equally evil implements and they may feel more helpless than if you gave them no choice at all. your mileage may vary of course

[Help a newb out! When is enough enough?]

On 5/16/2021 at 2:48 PM, Megthe said:

Hello Spankos!  

So when topping, how do you know when a spanking is enough?  Especially in a role play or pick up play scenario with someone you aren't SUPER familiar with. 

I just finished an intense from the start role play as a with someone I have played with once before.  He is pretty stoic during the spanking, grunting and shifting, but not much more than that.  This time we did a funishment scene with no warm-up, and between my brush and his dry skin, I broke skin!  I called it at that point, even though he still seemed willing and had not used a safeword.  Next time I will ask him to lotion a few days in advance and upon arrival. 

But really my question is, how do you decide When it is  over, especiallly if it isn't real discipline and you didn't negotiate a specific time or number or level?   Do you just get bored? Wait til they look tired? Wait til they get real flinchy?  Any advice is appreciated!

You've gotten some great responses already. When those endorphins get going, a spankee can be pushed well beyond limits that fall into the general guidelines of Safe, Sane, and Consensual spanking practices. It's definitely good practice to end a session when there is broken skin or visible blood, regardless of how your spankee reacts.  Good for you for asking!

[Punishment in my teens]

does not belong on this site

[Getting caught and then helped with self spanking]

making you complete your self spanking, then giving you a proper spanking to show you how its done. sounds fun

[CF Publications]

14 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Haven't heard of this author, or even CF Publications, though that doesn't mean much, as I rarely read spanking fiction. So sorry I'm no help in that department. But do you mind sharing a few details of this type of OTK hairbrush spanking, which you fancy? 

CF Publications is like the original purveyor of spanking porn. They've been around for a long, longggggggggggggg time.

[Hello from Vancouver Washington]

hello and welcome, there are a few active spankos in your area as well as a new group the Pacific Spanking Association. the next munch (meetup in a vanilla space) is scheduled for this weekend in Tacoma, Washington, hope you can make it! (their website is psaparties.com)

["Scene" is a lame term]

if you prefer, substitute the word "session" for "scene" and you'll be fine

[Bottom doesn't really redden?]

22 minutes ago, Inksie said:

Multiple people have observed it. I had suspicions in the past playing with vanilla partners, but more recently I saw someone in the community with a lot of experience and such suspicions were confirmed. This man bruised a woman with his hand by accident the other day. Yesterday he spanked me with the intent to give me "pretty marks" (with permission, because I needed to know) and my butt looked normal an hour later (if a bit sore.) Today even the soreness is gone.

It was meant to be "funishment" but he used multiple wood and leather implements. It hurt like a SOB and he said it was one of the hardest he's given.

Totally fine today.

What. The. Fuck? T_T

you've got a bright future in spanko vids. just sayin.

[Yeah things are getting harder to find.]

skip amazon and go straight to caneiac, for what you spend on "prevertables" you can get high quality gear designed to get the job done.

it might not show up instantly but I found their shipping time to be reasonable

[DD- Why don’t you spank him/her?]

2 hours ago, WisWoman said:

I don't think every adult is wired to either want to give or accept a spanking. A petulant wife who is vanilla won't be "fixed" by a spanking--she'll just call the cops. A lazy husband won't mend his ways if his wife suddenly becomes a domme if he isn't wired to submit--he'll just feel emasculated and leave her.

those pesky details, dang it!

[Sites or places to meet people into spanking]

this one has the best community. I've also found FetLife.com to be helpful in connecting with locals who have similar interests. the rest of whats out there is not worth the bother. happy hunting!

[Hi all, wow what a site!]

5 hours ago, DaChief said:

Welcome aboard. This place really is the sole survivor from the last age of the internet. No commercial ventures here; just a community of like minded folks run by like minded folks. ?

whatever happened to alt.sex.spanking anyways?

[How to make it not fun]

6 hours ago, johnsk said:

If your partner loves being spanked, how do you punish a spanko? Maybe with hold spanking or use an alternate punishment? Other ideas?

withholding spankings, for sure. writing lines. corner time. additional chores. enforced bedtime. removal of phone privileges. restricted diet. I have tons of additional ideas but that should get you started, have fun!

[The Three M Method]

I think the three levels of intensity described by @TammyG make a lot of sense. the section on RESULTS is interesting - as a spanker, I can definitely judge the color of the cheeks and how hot they are to the touch. I can't control nor predict what will trigger tears.  everything will depend on the reaction of the spankee, and there's no such thing as a cookie-cutter spanking, for sure. 

[The Three M Method]

I like the ideas, you've definitely given this a lot of thought.

Anything less than a "Moderate" spanking, by your definition, doesn't count as a spanking at all, by my definition.

Any given session might also proceed to the "Major" level, depending on the needs of the spankee.

Good stuff, thanks for sharing.

Gator

[A whole new world (to me at least)]

spend time getting to know people on online forums such as this one.

get involved in your local community by attending munches.

find and attend local or national play parties or events.

be sure to meet any potential spanking partners in a neutral public space and learn all you can about Safety protocols.

have fun!

Gator

[Novices Looking to Learn]

feel free to have your wife message me directly if you want her to chat with an experienced spanker.

I think having the right spanking kit, or collection of tools, is essential.

she will need tools that are easy for her to manage and that lead to the results that you need.

the rest is practice.

have fun!

Gator

[dominant cologne]

yes, its called "sweat"

[Newbie]

14 hours ago, Summer said:

Ah!! I get it now! I like it that. 

ya. I also like to think of them as "reminder" spankings - as in, you're being a good girl now, here's a quick reminder of what happens when you're not. - that kind of thing! have fun

[Newbie]

8 hours ago, Summer said:

How would you describe a good girl spanking? I guess I mean, is that the same as a fun or erotic spanking?

not exactly, think of it as a scale, with the discipline spanking being the most severe,  a maintenance spanking a little less severe, and a good girl spanking a little easier than the maintenance spanking. the good girl spanking is given as a reward for good behavior, but with a few notable swats as a reminder to keep being a good girl. a maintenance spanking is more like a mini discipline spanking, a firm and definite reminder of why you want to behave!

[Newbie]

13 hours ago, Spankableme said:

Hi everyone! 

I'm new here. Recently my SO and I decided to add spanking into our relationship. I am the spankee and they are the spanker (non-negotiable, which is fine by me). But we are still quite new. We are trying to do both fun spanking and discipline spankings. Just wondering what everyone else does. We'd like to get some ideas since we love spanking but don't want to grow bored

this thing that we do is anything but boring! fun spankings and discipline spankings are a good start. try also maintenance spankings and good girl spankings those are two of my favorites. have fun and play safely! Gator

[boy looking for spanking]

try "Seattle Spanking Scene" on fetlife, happy hunting!

[Seen and Heard]

I find it curious that when I read about these kinds of encounters its always a F/m dynamic.

If the roles were reversed everyone's head would explode - imagine a grown man threatening to spank his wife, how shocking!

[Stoicism during correction.]

I've encountered this "stoicism" and found it kind of strange. I couldn't tell if the spanking was making a difference at all, and where's the fun in that?!

I have invoked tears once or twice. That's never a goal of mine, but when I spank someone to tears I consider it a display of trust, and I honor that.

[Responsibility & Regrets As A Spanker]

hey man, good for you for making this post. I think spankers are sometimes viewed as all powerful beings who never make mistakes, or have doubts, or second guess themselves. I have one or two regrets myself. You're in good company.