swimmer8976

I was terrified of anyone finding out, but it turns out that sharing with a few close friends was one of the best things I did. Not saying I advertise it or want my extended family to know, but it is nice to not have to hide certain things from your closest friends.

I was much more of a spankee when I was younger but its evened out as I've gotten older and developed much more of a desire to spank. I'd say I'm probably about 60/40 on the sub side. And yes, if I found the right person I would absolutely want to switch roles with them. It just hasn't happened in my (admittedly limited) experience.

Not sure I agree 100% with this. I think things can be plenty complete when you are on one side in a particular relationship. There are certain people who I am more naturally submissive too, and others who I would rather spank. It doesn't always have to go both ways. A lot of which side I prefer has to do with age and personality for me. Does that make me not a true switch?

A very interesting topic. As Chawsee noted, the archetype disciplinarian has 1 or 2 implements, not a bag full of them. I can see why if your interests in spanking are limited to disciplinary spanking you might not need or want as many. But there is something to be said for having multiple different options to choose from, both from a sensation point of a view and also from a role-play point of view for those who enjoy role play. Besides, I may only need one of each, but I want more! In my collection I have about a dozen wooden hairbrushes, a bath-brush, a wooden spoon, a belt, two Miss Rose Paddles, and a lexan paddle. I can echo what the others have said about Etsy being the place to go to buy handmade paddles. The two Miss Rose paddles I have are absolute works of art, and I have never heard anyone say anything negative about her work. I definitely favor 2 or 3 of the brushes and the Miss Rose paddles, but they have all had some use.

It changes for me - between different hairbrushes! The sensation is virtually identical to a small lightweight paddle, but there is some sort of deep emotional connection with a hairbrush for me. I certainly enjoy different types of implements, but if I could only choose one for the rest of my life it would definitely be a wooden hairbrush.

Well said! Completely agree. I love switching, whether with the same person or someone else and I don't really care whether someone has a problem with that. In my opinion, as long as everything is 100% consensual, there is no right or wrong when it comes to a spanking relationship. Let people do what works for them!

I've both been spanked and spanked with the wooden spoon. The experience all depends on exactly what kind of spoon it is, but in general very stingy, applied to a small surface area, and if it is heavy enough often has resulted in bruises. Spoons can be brutal - a lot of people think they aren't as severe as a hairbrush, but I have not found that to be the case because of the smaller surface area and longer handle. As for position, best used otk, and best used after a warm-up...unless it is for punishment.

I've used soap in the mouth, writing lines, and corner time as both a bottom and top. They all have their own advantages and disadvantages. I love the head space that soap gets me in - it really brings me back as a childish punishment. And although the actual experience it is not necessarily a lot of fun, the emotions it evokes for me are incredible. As for lines, there is nothing exciting about them whatsoever. Which I guess is the point, because they make an excellent punishment. Corner time, especially when combined with a spanking, adds to the overall experience. It's a childish punishment that evokes some of the same emotions that soap does for me, and really makes you focus on the spanking.

I've been spanked with pillows under my hips before. Usually with the belt or other longer implements that can't easily be used otk, but I've also been spanked with the brush in this position. As to being able to maintain the position, I've found it fairly easy and its probably my second favorite spanking position after otk. It's comfortable for both the spanker and spankee and therefore easy to maintain for a long spanking. As much as I love otk, it is just not always practical to spend a lengthy amount of time in that position and lying over pillows can be an excellent alternative. And as you mention, the pillows help raise the butt and present it which makes it better than just lying on the bed.

Thank you for posting this - it is an incredibly fascinating thread and its forced me to think deeply and challenge my thoughts on this repeatedly. I think I finally have some fully thought-out ideas on this. By way of background I am a straight male and I am almost exclusively interested in spanking with women. I have spanked a man before, but it felt kind of strange to me for reasons I can't really identify, and I am not sure I would allow a man to spank me. First, there are a lot of other things where people have gender preferences for what the other person is that are not necessarily sexual activities. For instance, both men and women may have a preference for a certain gender of doctor, but no one would argue that going to the doctor is a sexual activity. Is their gender preference driven by their sexuality? Maybe - maybe not. Some straight men won't see a female urologist, but some don't want to see a male urologist. There is a similar phenomenon with regards to massage therapists - about 85% of all massage therapists are women. I would bet a good portion if not a majority of the population has a gender preference for their massage therapist, but that's not a sexual activity. I think its safe to say most men prefer a female massage therapist. What do these all have in common? They are situations where people are in various levels of undress and exposing private body parts to someone else in a position of trust. Often they are more comfortable doing so with someone of a particular gender, whether that be someone of the same gender they are attracted to or the opposite. I think there is something to be said for an analogy with spanking. The spankee is removing clothing in a vulnerable position and trusting the spanker, and there are many reasons why they might prefer a particular gender (or not). This doesn't even address the potential emotional arguments that could be made as well. From a point of view of a straight male, there is kind of a biological need to compete/ assert dominance with other men that just isn't there with a woman. I won't generalize too much here, but I know that I would hesitate to show weakness or vulnerability in front of a man where I might not have that same hesitation in front of a woman. I think back to my childhood and my relationship with my parents - there is almost no way I would have cried in front of my dad. But that is not quite true with my mom. I think that is driven by the societal vision of a tough "real" man, since I knew if I cried in front of my dad I would be told to tough it up and "take it like a man". I am trying not to generalize too much, but I don't think women have the same fears and societal pressures about gender norms in this particular way, and that's why they are more comfortable being spanked by other women. Anyway, spanking can be sexual and someone's reasons for preferring one gender over another may be driven by sexual considerations, but I think there are also a lot of other reasons why people might prefer one gender over the other.

The word "spanking" and some other associated phrases and words definitely do send shivers down my spine. Not quite in the same way as they did a few years ago, but still enough to perk my ears and get my attention. Growing up and in my early twenties, whenever anyone mentioned anything to do with spanking I would get flush with embarrassment and try to change the topic as quickly as possible. I was always worried that I would be "found out" as a spanko if I seemed too interested, which in retrospect seems a little bit of an over-reaction on my part. Now, especially that my close vanilla friends know about it, I've become way less self-conscious or worried about be found out as a spanko. So if someone brings up spanking I will definitely engage in a normal manner and not just change the topic as quickly as I used to. It is very liberating in many ways, and I wish I had been braver in my younger years! There are so many conversations that I would love to go back to and ask for more detail, but as nervous as I was I quickly moved on.

It can work... to a point. I was in a long term committed relationship with a wonderful woman I had great vanilla chemistry with. We were both very happy with the relationship overall, but ultimately spanking came between us. At first I had slowly managed to get her to spank me harder and longer, but we kept running into the problem that whenever I showed physical signs of pain or discomfort she would stop. As much as she knew that's what I wanted, she couldn't bring herself to do it, but she kept trying. She would spank me whenever I asked for it, but very rarely would she initiate. I started to feel guilty asking for spankings and the amount of spanking in our relationship petered off pretty quickly. On the other side, it's even more of a challenge if you are a spanker. I slowly spanked her a few times and none of them particularly hard. But it's really difficult for someone who is not into spanking to take a spanking, even if they really want to like it for your sake and they are trying. We both agreed after trying a few times that she was not going to grow to like it, no matter how much as she tried, so she exclusively spanked me from that point. Bottom line, I agree 100% with what Chawsee said. They may engage in spanking because they love you, but they don't need it or crave it the same way we do. It ends up causing guilt, resentment, and loneliness because they don't "get it".

I am a 26 year old guy in the Central VA area looking for a female switch around the same age range. I know finding switches is tough so I am willing to explore one side or the other with someone who does not want to switch. I'm also willing to travel a bit!

Hello everyone! I am a 25 year old guy from the Boston area. I've been a Spanko since my early childhood, but for a variety of reasons tried to bury that part of me. It obviously hasn't worked and I have finally decided to embrace it. I am looking to make friends with like minded people and ultimately am looking to spank/be spanked by a woman.