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About swimmer8976

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  • Birthday 01/20/1993

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    Charlottesville, VA
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  1. Ideally yes, you wouldn't have to choose. But the reality is that partners make lots of sacrifices for each other in a relationship. That might be one of them - and maybe that need is met some other way.
  2. I suppose I probably could, but I would prefer a long term relationship where we are able to switch. If you forced me to choose, I guess I'd probably choose being the spankee, but I'd still have an itch to spank someone.
  3. I am a straight guy and I have spanked other men, although it is far from my preferred gender for a spanking partner. As long as we are explicit that there will not be anything sexual, I don't have a huge issue with doing it. That said, my experience is a lot of men looking for M/M are looking for something more sexual or they are looking for a "daddy/son" relationship which I am not into doing at all.
  4. Great question - and I think it depends on the type of spanking. For more "fun" spanking, then no it's not as nessecary. But it is an essential part of getting into the head-space required when receiving a spanking for me. I don't think it needs to be continuous for the entire time either, but I have a hard time being spanked without it present at all. I wasn't 100% sure how I felt about scolding since it used to feel a little "weird" to me, but it only took one bad experience to convince me. I once was spanked by a woman who ruined the entire experience by laughing at my pain and mocking me, perhaps as one might during a more BDSM type activity. It yanked me right out of the mindset I was in and I ended the spanking there. So, since then I have been convinced that caring scolding is an essential element to a good spanking.
  5. I'll diverge from the majority here and say I think it is completely acceptable to engage in spanking after the social consumption of alcohol. For me it depends on the context of the scene and who I am with. If I am meeting someone for the first time or engaged in a more serious scene, it might not fit as well. But between established partners, especially with more fun spanking scenes, I think drinking responsibly can add to them. Whether a person chooses to do so or not is an entirely personal choice, but having 2 or 3 drinks certainly does not remove their ability to consent. I'm not advocating that people mix alcohol and spanking - merely pointing out that I don't think there should be an automatic line against it. Obviously, you shouldn't spank or be spanked by a person who is heavily intoxicated, slurring their speech, etc... but that's not what I'm talking about here.
  6. Obligatory disclaimer: This is not legal advice, so please don't take it as such. It is just provided for informational purposes only. On the legality of paying someone for a spanking, the short answer is it depends. Every jurisdiction has slightly differently worded statutes for prostitution, and slightly different interpretations of those statutes. After a cursory search I was not able to find any cases from anywhere where someone had been convicted of prostitution for engaging in spanking or BDSM activities, and the majority of cases dealt with whether other sexual acts (besides sex) might meet the definition fitting the elements of prostitution. A lot of states have expanded the definition of sexual conduct over the last several years beyond male-female intercourse to include other acts, and some things (such as oral sex) would clearly fall under the expanded definitions, while others clearly do not (i.e. Sports Massage). The one case I was able to find any discussion of BDSM was a criminal prosecution in New York State from 30 years ago. The judge in this case commented on the definition of "sexual conduct" and did not find spanking, foot licking, and BDSM activities in general to fit within the definition under the New York statute. (People v. Georgia A., 163 Misc. 2d 634, 621 N.Y.S.2d 779 (Crim. Ct. 1994)). Take this case with a grain of salt - it's an old case and its not from an appellate court, but it's the only thing out there. On the other hand, some states have a more expansive definition of "sexual conduct" such as Virginia, which provides among other things, that any person who "touches the unclothed genitals or anus of another person with the intent to sexually arouse or gratify" is guilty of prostitution. It might be a plausible defense that there was no intent of sexual gratification or that "buttocks" do not fall under "genitals or anus". (A cursory search didn't reveal any cases expounding further on this - but I think such a defense could work) Whether a prosecutor would even bring charges is a completely different issue. They don't like to charge cases they might lose, and in a case with no clear "victim" and murky law, I can't imagine they would be in a rush to do so with all the other cases on their dockets. Bottom line - it seems to me to be a legal gray area, but it also seems unlikely to ever be ever prosecuted if all that occurs is a consensual spanking for money.
  7. A couple suggestions for anyone looking for an old fashioned wooden hairbrush. First, check ebay out periodically, I've bought a few antique hairbrushes on Ebay from the UK that are exactly what one is looking for in a spanking implement. Just can sometimes be a little pricey. I also will echo what others have said about Etsy. I'll also link to two other brushes I have that have worked very well for me through the years. The first is actually a bath-brush, but it is short handled (10 inches) and feels far more like a hairbrush. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0018OVKQ0?pf_rd_r=TB09KQQ1J6N6ZTN6ABDQ&pf_rd_p=edaba0ee-c2fe-4124-9f5d-b31d6b1bfbee The other one is not as solid, but it is stunningly beautiful, the perfect size and shape, and it gives a very stingy spanking. http://www.winwoods.com/koa-lehua-hairbrush/ I hope those help!
  8. You make some interesting points, but I think I agree with StrictGent that human beings are rarely one thing or the other. I certainly do think that people fall in various places along the scales that you mention, but I don't think it's so neat and binary. I know you recognize that they are not necessarily mutually exclusive in one category or the other but I'm not convinced they are even related. I think a person could 100% have a punishment fetish and 100% having a spanking fetish too. I commend your desire to categorize to help people find compatible partners, but I think each of our relationships with spanking is so unique and individual that it's hard to put it in a bucket and slap a label on it.
  9. A fresh cut willow switch. I love hairbrushes but I got my first switching a few weeks ago and yikes it's awful.
  10. I am open-minded to a lot of things, but there are a couple off the top of my head that I can think of as hard limits: - No Safe-word (At least until there is a well established relationship). - Serious bleeding & marks that go beyond some minor bruises and welts. - Submission that goes beyond a discipline type relationship (i.e. Master/Slave). As a switch spanko, I am neither a submissive nor a dominant - but rather a spanker or spankee. - Sexual acts mixed with spanking. - Humiliation & degrading language that goes beyond the embarrassment of a bare bottom spanking.
  11. I have always preferred the spanker to do the taking down of pants and baring, both when I am the spanker and spankee. It is such an emotional rush and surrender of power when the spanker slowly lowers the underwear and bears the bottom.
  12. I was terrified of anyone finding out, but it turns out that sharing with a few close friends was one of the best things I did. Not saying I advertise it or want my extended family to know, but it is nice to not have to hide certain things from your closest friends.
  13. I was much more of a spankee when I was younger but its evened out as I've gotten older and developed much more of a desire to spank. I'd say I'm probably about 60/40 on the sub side. And yes, if I found the right person I would absolutely want to switch roles with them. It just hasn't happened in my (admittedly limited) experience.
  14. Not sure I agree 100% with this. I think things can be plenty complete when you are on one side in a particular relationship. There are certain people who I am more naturally submissive too, and others who I would rather spank. It doesn't always have to go both ways. A lot of which side I prefer has to do with age and personality for me. Does that make me not a true switch?
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