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Everything posted by geeky_child

  1. I’m pretty sure the artist of the top pic is Sassybottoms. If I remember right, spankees in her pictures are generally women or kids of either gender. She’s a pretty well-known artist, so if you do a search on her name you should find a lot.
  2. My recurrent spanking fantasy isn’t sexual, particularly... someday I’d like to live full-time with the couple I call my Sir and Ma’am, and just be under their care and direction 24/7. Part of that arrangement involves me getting disciplined when I break my rules. Exactly how that looks depends on the offense I’ve committed and who’s doing the disciplining. Ma’am is quicker to discipline than Sir is, but her corrections are milder. Sir is more patient, but once he’s pissed off at you, WATCH OUT. They both believe that spanking is a fair and effective form of punishment for me, and it’s th
  3. I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family, and really had no discipline in my life after 12 or 13 or so. It wasn’t “spoiling” so much it was neglect. Nobody seemed to care about what I did one way or the other. Unsurprisingly, I was an angry and out-of-control teenager, and I was actually scared by how self-destructive I was. I was too mad and distrustful of my parents to ask them to discipline me, although sometimes I thought about it. I came closest to asking my stepmother to spank me, because I believed she genuinely cared about me and wasn’t out to use me for something
  4. Definitely my sister. She was the kind of child parents have nightmares about. You know when new parents have a colicky baby and people assure them that it will eventually stop screaming when it’s X months old or whatever? Well, my sister did eventually stop. She was about 19.
  5. I have this exact problem, and it is so incredibly frustrating. I honestly can’t do the simplest things with any consistency unless I have someone prodding me and threatening to beat my butt. Sometimes things like that can be a symptom of an executive function disorder, such as ADD. I’m actually being evaluated for that next week. I have relatives who have it and do better with medication, but they had trouble in school as kids. It turns out that school was the only thing in life that was ever easy for me. It’s everything else I’m hopeless at.
  6. I’ve gotten punishment spankings in a number of different ways, and so long as they hurt more than I wanted them to, they were all effective. I think it’s more important to me to relinquish control to the ER than it is to have any particular spanking elements. I change my mind about what elements I “want” all the time anyway.
  7. My mother used to say, “I’m going to spank the daylights (or living daylights) out of you!” I asked her what that meant once, and she said she supposed it was a threat to spank someone so hard you knocked them out cold. I was like, “Uhhhh ...” 0.o. If asked, I think I would have said that I didn’t really believe my own mother would literally beat me into unconsciousness, but the idea did make me nervous. She also used to say, “I’m about to smack your fanny!” To this day, I think she’s the only person I’ve ever heard use the word “fanny” for “bottom” IRL. I think Granny Clampett used to s
  8. (The following mostly only applies to folks who have intense, deep-seated needs related to spanking. If you just like a few love pats in the bedroom now and then, no one is out to get you. So don’t worry.) I am relatively out about my fascination with spanking, but for a variety of reasons, the potential consequences of exposure are comparatively slight for me. I am 100% a spankee rather than a spanker, and am therefore supposedly some kind of sick victim instead of some kind of sick predator. I am also not somebody—particularly not a cis male somebody—-whose livelihood or person
  9. I think most people who feel an intense desire or need to be spanked to the point of real pain have wondered this. As far as I’m aware, nobody’s ever come up with a definitive answer. People certainly have opinions—the internet’s crawling with those—but anyone who swears that they have “the answer” to whether spanking is self-harm is full of it. The most you can hope for is to figure out whether spanking does more good or more harm for you. You can get advice and insights from others, but you really have to make the decision yourself. You may have to make it more than once. Maybe it
  10. If so, how do you fix that? It's something that I don't even realize I'm doing. It's just that as soon as a severe spanking ends, I collapse and gasp like a dying fish. There's also the fact that I don't seem able to communicate during a severe punishment. It's possible that I'm one of those people who go nonverbal with intense pain, or it could be that I just am not breathing. I've only used a safeword once in my life and I had no trouble then, but I have concerns I might need to use one and be unable to. I'm aware of the trick where you hold something in your hand and drop it if you ge
  11. Some people want a “consensual non-consent” situation where the ee agrees to put themselves under their partner’s total control so long as the relationship lasts. Even then they have a choice, though—they can leave the relationship. So pretty much all of us have some way to stop a spanking—or at least exit a spanking relationship. Does that make our spankings not “real?” Well ... compared to what? Compared to your experience when you were 3 and your mom used to whack you, and you couldn’t leave home because without her caretaking you’d literally die? If that’s the experience yo
  12. I’ve heard that some people have strong opinions about cheek clenching during a spanking. Supposedly, it lessens the pain and therefore shouldn’t be allowed. I’ve never had a disciplinarian who made a distinction between clenched and unclenched. I have no idea what state my cheeks are in during a punishment spanking. For me, it’s pretty much instinctual movement, like when you accidentally touch a hot stove or slam your finger in a door. The position we use minimizes the chance of drastic movement and injury. I’m usually bent over a footboard with my hands pinned between my torso and the
  13. Supposedly loopy johnny implements pack a powerful sting and are very quiet. Here’s a link to one from Cane-iac, if you’re not familiar with them. Do not in any way be afraid of it just because it is labeled, “Sadistic Red Loop, 15” of Hurt.” Okay, actually be afraid if it. I’ve never gotten a real spanking with one of these, just play swats, but I have heard they sting a great deal. Probably no more than a regular cane of the same width and material, though. They do not literally come from the fires of Hell. That I know of.
  14. I am just ridiculously submissive. I can be put in a submissive space so easily that I really have to watch out for it. It’s a little like falling in love, but not necessarily with a sexual component. When I want to submit to someone, I want to be around them, I want to serve them, I want to just sit there and adore them. I will want to do just about anything they tell me to do. I’ve been like this as long as I can remember. You can imagine how dangerous it can be for a child or teenager to be like this, especially if they don’t understand their feelings or perhaps aren’t even
  15. I am separated from my caregivers by the lockdown, and they are both so stressed they are not currently able to keep up with directing and disciplining me, even remotely. I know this is nobody’s fault, it’s just reality, but I still feel abandoned and heartbroken and aimless. Obviously it’s not just a lack of spankings that is the problem—although those do help me keep mentally stable and behaviorally on track. These are people I’ve been very involved with—dependent on—for over 2 years, and it’s like they’re just gone. I’m kind of devastated, actually. It looks like a former mentor can he
  16. I used to be very, very embarrassed about my need to be spanked, and kept it as secret as I could manage. Then I got involved with my Sir, who enjoys telling people that he builds dungeon furniture in his parents’ driveway. He is not lying about this. We are in a 24/7 D/s relationship, which means I relate to him as “Sir” all the time. This is a thing people notice. There are also things I have to do or can’t do as part of my rules, and people notice that, too. So instead of letting people speculate and come up with something much worse than the truth, I just told everyone. I don’t actu
  17. What is Lush? The only site I know of by that name belongs to the cosmetics company.
  18. I’ve seen spanking videos where the ee broke down and shed obviously-real tears. It looks painful for the butt, but cathartic for the heart and soul. I wish I could do it, honestly. At times in the past I’ve felt real shame and remorse during a spanking, and I’ve certainly felt a lot of physical pain. But no waterworks. I love my Sir to pieces and he loves me, so it’s not that. I dunno. Maybe I’m a psychopath. 😛 Actually sometimes I wonder whether people are just wired for different emotional reactions. I can certainly feel very, very sad. I’m a lifelong depressive, actually. Bu
  19. I was feeling really lost and sad today, so I gave myself a hard self-spanking, which helped for a while.  But now I feel lost and sad and I have a sore butt, too.  Dammit!

    1. dkh


      I'm so glad to see you back again! 

  20. They do, and I miss themmmmm!! So sad today. Thank you for reading and commenting. I talked to Sir on the phone today. I’m afraid I was a brat. I wasn’t quite as bad as a kid begging to come home from summer camp, but that’s the idea. Sir told me yes, he loves me. Yes, he misses me too. No, we cannot see each other right now. Not safe. Reasons. Silly Little boy is being a Silly Little. I would like to cry and pitch a fit until he whacks me across the bottom and sends me to bed early, but it cannot be. Maybe I will write more here. I am sad. :’(. ::naughty Little cries in a corner
  21. It used to be normal for the head of a household to “spank”* his or her younger household staff. This could be delegated to higher ranking servants, too. Entry-level domestic servants used to be children and teenagers, and that’s just what you did with young people then. * When I say “spank,” I mean more like “whip” or “beat,” but it was the same sort of physical punishment meted out by parents to their children, and was often given on the seat of the pants or the bare butt. The closer you get to modern times, the greater the tendency to punish over clothes and on parts of the b
  22. I haven’t done corner time in quite a while, but the few times I did it was actually before a spanking. It sent my anxiety absolutely through the roof—close to panic attack territory. It was awful, but I can see it being appropriate for more serious offenses, especially for things I’ve been punished for before. I admit that I’m curious about what kind of effect corner time might have on me in the middle of a spanking or at the end. Maybe I’ll try it out as part of a role play sometime.
  23. I don’t normally self spank—it’s difficult for me to force myself to reach the level of pain required for it to help me. I’m getting kind of desperate though, so. I may try to set up a directed self spanking session. Maybe that will work better.
  24. I’ve actually never been spanked in the “conversational” style. My disciplinarians have all been of the “no more talk—now it’s time to pay for what you did” school. And I do have to say that a properly-wielded paddle makes some very convincing arguments—the kind there are no sassy answers for. That said, I can see how talking could be effective. A message like “What you did is unacceptable, and you’re going to be spanked very hard every time you repeat that misbehavior” might carry a lot more weight if the spankee’s bottom can immediately feel what that means. Sometimes if you h
  25. My Sir has a shed in his backyard, but it’s full of stuff from the floor to the rafters, so I’m never likely to get spanked out there. It’s actually a pity, since he lives in a very small house with his very nosy vanilla dad. I could probably personally cope with the embarrassment of having Dad walk in on one of my spankings (Dad does not knock), but I think Dad would be horrified and very distressed by the experience. At least he sometimes acts that way when he sees me treating Sir the extremely deferential way a sub treats his Dom. Anyway ... no one wants to have “that”
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