Overrmykneemiss

A few years ago while talking to a psychiatrist friend of mine we discussed the parts of how we became so fixated about the discipline, spanking and their beginnings in our minds. it was suggested that eventually after the feelings as well as the events that may have caused this quirk in our lives is more understood by us the desire or ‘need’ may subside and it may become a fun thing but in all reality it may never totally leave our psyche. it was good for me to do the soul searching and the footwork of figuring out what I could to be able to keep a healthy perspective and personal boundries with this strange obsession. I now realize that ‘it is what it is’ , play safe, help others to manage their mindset with compassion and understanding.

😁

Would you care for my opinion Kiko? I would have to examine yours 🙂

I think that we have chatted, it seems yo be an ongoing thing

Retired from working. Still quite capable of being an Er. Thank you, 👍

Not a novel idea but I retired last year, I have a lot of hobbies and projects going on here, the trouble is I get involved too much in working/tinkering and don’t have much of a social life. I am not much for munches, spanking parties and the like. I am thinking that it would be great to meet a local to mid-Michigan F/female Er or ee just for conversation on occasion, an excuse to get away for a while and detach from the passion of my interests. I am easy going and like to laugh about silly things, playing guitar, yard sale stuff, browsing antique shops, rides to nowhere, the casino. This topic probably does not belong here but I started here so I thought I would finish here. Be Well.

Hello, I am near Lansing Michigan if that helps ? be careful, Rick.

Hello, I am near Lansing Michigan, depending on where you are, we may not be far apart. be careful 🙂 Rick.

No apologies needed, I brought it on myself, with so many ‘ levels of commitment’ within our little world here it is pretty much impossible to have a set standard that can be agreed on by every one. I am not, nor I have ever accepted any compensation for my time, travel or meals, I generally request that I buy when meeting for the first time if a cost is involved. I have asked that she supply the place, either her’s, a motel etc…. I she wishes to come my home, there are no charges. Everyone is different, for some, I have had them ask if they could use a spreadsheet to check off the needed duties, the ee would text or show me her progress or lack of. I would review, explain our agreement, she would then submit to the discipline if warranted- not much small talk, just accountability for her actions. This style has its pluses and minuses as all types of corrective behavior modifications. Then the ‘good friends’ for the psychological reasoning, the thinking objectively- cause and effect - possibly looking into some Spiritual levels of thought to overcome their cravings, the guilt, the naughty behavior- on and on. I have many friends from the past, I tell them that I can’t promise to be there for them forever but they will forever live in my heart. As most if not all Er’s learn , the more you get to know the submissives/ee’s/bottoms, the harder it is to be strong and direct as well as strict, you start not wanting to cause them pain even though it is to benefit them in their quest to be a better person. Then the poor ee may feel like a ship without a rudder that comes quickly to depend on Him/Her for stability, companionship as well as guidance, this is all good and quite normal however needs to be kept within reason until the ee can learn enough to stand on there own. So much for Me staying out of this 🙄, I could go on with this vast subject but there are a lot of us that have came to the same conclusions as I have. Goodnight.

My comments are being misconstrued, it is difficult to post anything here without being picked apart by too may opinions and can end up with the author looking like the bad person when trying to explain themselves. Not every Er and ee’s encounter is the same, I have participated in enough of the lifestyle to have learned to be aware of certain circumstances that can cause havoc in people’s lives. The whole dynamic with Discipline, stress relief, play, fantasy is vast and people that do not understand the needs of a spank-o make assumptions. Significant others may think that there is an affair going on, maybe jealous, angry, etc.. this is a small example. I am going to remain silent to avoid a beating from the crowd here. Be safe

My twist on the subject; The ‘lifestyle’ has been with me for I guess 50 years, I began getting involved more as the internet became a source of both individuals and information that enabled Me to pursue My interest. In my late 20’s I joined a 12 step group and soon after began psychotherapy to help sort things out in my mind, eventually I was able to talk about the fact that I was an Er with thoughts of being a bottom to the right Female. I spoke at length off and on for several years about this fixation, I would have liked it to disappear however all I was able to do ( and I am grateful) was to learn as much as I could about myself, how this stuff is formed and processed in my head and why would it not go away. The piece of this story relates to how I act towards an ee. The psychologist that I was seeing was very professional, they have a code of ethics they follow to avoid problems with clients all out of past experiences for many generations of professionals. It seemed to Me that we were good friends and doing something outside of therapy would not be necessarily a bad thing, however’David’ was professional enough to draw the line. I have always believed in keeping things confidential with anyone I knew if I thought at all if it were sensitive to them. In the 12 step group it was made clear that what was said there stayed there, the therapist was sworn to patient confidentiality along with his code of ethics. I try to keep the relationship between i an the ee as Myself acting in the role in a professional manner, this may sound cold hearted to some but this approach has its advantages. I believe staying out of the drama of peoples lives is very important when attempting to help someone, it is My commitment to do what is agreed too and stay the course. ( reasons can be discussed later ). I also believe in confidentiality, trust is based on this, if I ever were to submit, I would expect the Top to adhere as they should in My opinion, set good examples - this goes with Er’s talking amongst themselves, I do not disclose names of those I work(ed) with, it is good at times to share information but as we all know sometimes a session can be real unpredictable, the ee may be very new, have other issues that they deserve to not have spread around. I have developed many good friends as an Er, some are on a deeper level with Me, I am not adamant that all of those I work with adhere to a staunch professional session, we are all different. For some, a spelled out organized meet is more comfortable and as the Disciplinarian I have less drama and it is healthy to not become attached in an intimate level ( no, I do not mean sex). It is enjoying to have good friends that feel they are welcome to call or stop by for a visit and have their needs met in a casual manner, this is also not an issue, as I said, we are all different with different wants and needs. long reply, I know…🙂

Thank you Allie, I can appreciate your needs as well as wanting to be a better person, there are many reasons that we all have to support our interests in this lifestyle. It seems that I have ‘ran the gambit’ so to speak over the years asI have evolved from being a strict no nonsense Mentor/Er/Daddy to a Disciplinarian that understands the uniqueness of various needs and wants. I ‘ take pride ‘, well - more like feel good about helping a girl out in times when she is yearning for some answers - it is hard for some to be honest with their true feelings; a good teacher can be of great help to sort out and organize just what her feelings , goals actually are. A spanking given is not an immediate turn on in my mind, I have given ‘fun spankings’ such are ‘fun’ but not to overlap or interfere with the seriousness of a discipline session. The ‘pride ‘ aspect is of Me seeing the ee improve or be happy with the outcome of My efforts. Thank you for your honesty Allie.

Hello, Welcome , I am near Lansing-Grand Rapids Michigan. Best of luck. Be safe, have fun, it may be a good idea to try to keep hubby informed. Rick.

Poor brat, move to Portland, problem solved. 😏

A stress relief scenario is very helpful I have been told to rid the mind of chaotic thoughts and release the endorphins that allow us to feel a bit euphoric. Usually I find after a well meaning spanking the ee will be relaxed and thoroughly enjoy the aftercare immensely. Hmmm, maybe I should start a business as a traveling bedtime Er.? 👨‍🦳😁