gingerlee

I've had them a few times. I don't live with a spanker, so it can't be a regular thing. When I've spent the night with a spanker though it has happened a few times. I also don't share a bed with my spanker, so it's not usually been quite so smooth. I am usually spanked over the lap on a bed anyway. So the position is the same for that. Afterwards I get a few cuddles and then sometimes I've just gone to bed, sometimes I've been tucked in. Cuddling until falling asleep sounds wonderful but not practical in my situation.

Bath brushes are cheap and evil. Honestly, I've got lots of choices, some seem pretty nasty. The worst is the bathbrush though. It's perfect for self spanking with the long handle too.

I understand the frustration. I frequently know what I should do but when I go to do it, I get overwhelmed and paralyzed. I don't understand why I can't seem to do what I know needs to be done. The good thing is, it looks like you also possess the motivation to kick yourself into motion. That's a very good thing. Hang on to that and celebrate the successes. Forgive yourself when you don't quite live up to your own expectations. (I know it's hard) Hang in there. You're young but you've got this. You at least have the wherewithal to understand what's going on with you. That will help too. You've got this!

Also, it's not that I don't like to be appreciated on the rare occasion when I've done something right. I crave approval yet at the same time, feel awkward about being praised. I'm just weird.

I know this is an old comment but I totally understand. I am uncomfortable with praise. I'm a little different though. It's not that others point out the bad in my life, it's that I know it's there. I've gotten better about responding appropriately but it still makes me feel uneasy. I know all the things I'm doing wrong, the things I try to hide. It feels false when I accept praise for something because I know how screwed up I really am.

I'm sorry. I understand. I struggle with the same problem. I think for me, spanking is more of stress relief for me. It might be different if I lived with a spanker or had one locally, where a punishment could quickly follow any misdeed. Mine are usually well after the fact and it's hard to associate the two in my head. A super stingy punishment would be dreaded for me, but the effects go away almost immediately. One that provides lasting soreness is also what I need just for stress relief, so is it really a punishment? If one went past that to actually hurt me, it could border on being abusive. I don't have an easy answer. I will say though that there are some things that I've struggled with that I felt I needed to be punished for. I've in those cases asked for a punishment and received one and it has helped. I think it was more of a mindset thing though. I hated to disappoint my spanker and going through the spanking and receiving after care help me get past it. Even if the spanking itself wasn't extreme, just knowing that I've been punished and forgiven helps take the pressure off my brain. Side note, I know there are those that say that aftercare should not be a part of a disciplinary spanking but I firmly disagree. That's actually what helps me move past the incident. Discipline is definitely more of a mental thing for me than a physical one.

I cannot stand to watch scenes where another character is physically abused. It's even worse if "spanking"/beating is involved. It makes me physically nauseous.

I agree completely. For me, I do enjoy a "scolding" that is more of a caring admonishment. Yelling would definitely shut me down quickly, but really, anything that isn't delivered in a tone of caring would. I don't need to be knocked down a few pegs. I've already done that myself. I need someone to help pick up the pieces. I have been scolded by multiple people who strike that balance, so I know it can be done.

The worry is that they may lose their ability to withdraw consent more easily. Obviously, it depends on a number of factors, but it is possible to start the scene fine but as the scene goes on, the effects of the alcohol may intensify if they were consumed immediately prior to the spanking. While I've never hit subspace, I still get a little spacey and lightheaded with a spanking. I would think this would potentially intensify with alcohol or certain drugs.

I have gone to a professional a number of times. For me, it's actually cheaper than most of my other alternatives which include potential travel and also renting a place for the session when neither of us can host.

What does she enjoy as an EE? Is there a way to relate that to what she's giving you so she'll understand that it's acceptable, even desirable?

For me, I may not feel comfortable with a hug depending on the situation, but I at least need my back rubbed. I need physical touch to be a part of the aftercare.