gingerlee

Coke usually but any dark, non diet cola is fine with me. Dr Pepper might be my favorite. Since the title of this game makes me think of this first video, This: or That:

Awesome story. You painted the picture we all think of with fantasy, while addressing the main issue with those type stories. In most of these stories, the man just starts spanking the woman. They've never had a discussion about it. She's never said she might be open to it, etc. While we may enjoy the fantasy of that, in reality, if someone were to do that type of thing in real life without a discussion ahead of time, there is no consent. So I very much appreciate you having that as part of your story. I get to enjoy it without the uneasiness I feel when the consent issue is not addressed. Also, I love the fact that a partner cares enough about his significant other to try something he's not entirely comfortable with, knowing it will make her feel loved and cared for. Good job all the way around.

I don't think he was accusing you of not being civil, it's just that things tend to get heated in exchanges like this. It was clear from your comment: "Negative reinforcement does work. the individual finally gets the picture. It's just that simple. I can attest from experience, not according to some "psychology study by dr.s with degrees" which is usually a bunch of jibberish anyway." that you were leaning towards a more passionate discourse. Calling scientific studies jibberish could be construed as dismissive to those on this board that do like to look at things from a more analytical side. I'm not dismissing your point of view, I'm just saying that it can be expressed without the judgement. As you have demonstrated, people can take things personally. I think it was a preemptive plea, not just to you, to keep this thread from heading into the territory where people attack each other instead of discussing this in a more detached manner, for lack of a better term. I am with you that no disorder can be wholly treated with negative reinforcement. I do think however that for some people, it can be a valuable tool among many others. I would enjoy hearing your (and others) views on this. For instance, for me, I think that anyone dealing with depression and anxiety (among many other similar circumstances) can use spanking in a healthy way and in an unhealthy way. They need someone from the outside helping them to make sure they engage with spanking in a healthy way. That's easier said than done though. I know that I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this with a therapist. There are examples in my life where negative reinforcement really was enough to change my habit (not that I didn't backslide every now and then but it made a marked difference) (no pun intended). There are other things in my life that no amount of negative reinforcement was enough to make any difference.

An interesting comment about what goes into (or can go into) making a custom paddle.

@Chawsee, thought you'd find this interesting

I completely understand. I actually make my own rules. I can break it into manageable pieces. Sometimes I even dictate the consequences. Most of the time, I have to carry them out myself as well. (For what it's worth though, I still have to work with someone to hold me accountable to them.) Still, I have no follow through. I don't understand why, I know all the pieces, but I can't put them together for some reason.

This is what I've never understood. Why would ERs penalize for that when through none of their effort, the spanking now hurts more.

Accountability I am trying to spend the next six weeks getting into good habits with my eating and exercise.

It says that anyone can be either role. @AmariDivine, I think this is a wonderful idea.

There are many different reasons that people get spanked. Not everyone is spanked for discipline. Even with discipline, there are reasons not to want marks. Maybe a spouse doesn't know that you get spanked or spank yourself. Maybe there is a doctor's appointment coming up and you don't want to have to defend your lifestyle. Maybe you have health issues that cause excessive bruising.

I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you and the others.