Spanknutt

There are resources out there that rate pain level for different implements, but I don't think that's going to help you with your question. If you don't want the heavy bruising, stay away from heavy implements like bath brushes, thicker paddles, etc. Something like a belt, riding crop, yardstick, flyswatter, etc. might give you the sting you want without marking you up too much. I have made some whips/floggers out of thin plastic strands from a hobby store that sting like crazy but don't leave lasting marks. To make one, all you need is a wooden dowel and some strong tape - I like hockey tape because you can twist it into a strand and spiral it to make a grip. Even easier to make - get two of the large paint sticks from Home Depot and glue them together to to minimize the likelihood of them cracking. Or wrap them with tape if you don't have glue and clamps. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

You might have more luck posting in the Ohip Spankos group:

When I do discipline, it is usually short and sweet. With longer sessions (an hour or more) that are more for stress-relief or just for fun, I am always sweaty and exhausted afterward. If I am using a heavy implement like a flogger, my shoulder is usually a little sore the next day too. 😂

I have a T-shirt showing Bugs Bunny spanking Ms. Bunny. I wore it once to a walk with some kinky friends at a public park but I had a jacket on to hide it from the vanillas.

At a party once, we positioned two EEs at a time on spanking benches, facing each other. The ERs rotated around them in a circle and spanked each for one minute before giving way to the next ER. We had a blast.

First, I think you have to clarity what type of spanking you are referring to. I have spanked many women over the years, a couple for discipline, but most just for fun or because they were masochists and craved the sensation. A couple of those women I had sexual relations with, but with most I did not. But I am a hard-wired spanko. That means spanking thoughts cross my mind every single day. After a few years of being strictly a spanker, I have experimented on the receiving end with a small number of partners I trusted and felt close to. A lot of it was just fun and games - sports bets, roll the dice for spanks, draw Easter Eggs out of a basket with "sentences" in them, etc. Although it hurts a little, it was not super intense. But taking my pants down in front of a woman is absolutely "sexy" even when it is not sexual and that makes it exciting. It took me a while to get comfortable with the concept - to be able to confess that I wanted to try it because ERs are "not supposed to do that." In fact, in many cases, switches are looked down upon as not being worthy spankers - that's total B.S. At the end of August, I had two women friends over and let them give me my birthday spanking with paddles I made for them. We drank a little wine, ate dinner and then they did the deed. I think all 3 of us would say we had a great time. One time I did get it pretty harshly. I told a spanking partner I wanted to re-enact a paddling I should have received, but got out of in middle school. I have told this story here before so I won't go into detail, but we agreed to 10 licks per cheek with a wooden paddle and she really laid them on. It was all I could do to get through it. But I enjoy a challenge and afterward I felt a sense of accomplishment and I felt closer to her. Another time, I did a self-directed spanking role-play via video with a friend. Did it hurt a little? Sure. Was it fun and sexy? Damn right. I suspect we will do it again.

I have a play partner I have been spanking for 15 years. I have been working with my EE for weight management for 6-1/2 years. These are both regular things. There are others I have know a long time where there is spanking from time to time. I let 2 women give me my birthday spanking this year, one of them I have known for 14 years.

I have never broken one, other than when I attached them to a a wooden block to make a "triple cane." That put a lot of stress a the attachment point. I have given a lot of them away and no one has ever told me they broke.

Humanizing yourself and showing a facial pic are two different things and it depends upon whether you have anything to lose. There are professions (education, for example) where there are codes of conduct in place and you can lose your job if you are too free with your profile. This happened to two teachers I know from Fetlife and the are now black-balled in that profession. Even if you have your photos set to "friends only" on a site, just because someone is your friend today doesn't mean they will be tomorrow and anyone knows how to take a screen shot. I have another friend who was in a relationship that didn't work out and the guy sent a link to her Human Resources Director. She worked in health care and had to sign a code of conduct agreement, even though she had taken her profile down. There are vindictive people in the world. Again, if you have nothing to lose, then be as free as you want to be.

If it is an important, non-negotiable part of a relationship for you, then it needs to come out right away. If you wait too long and someone becomes attached to you before you tell them, then they are going to feel like they have been misled (and they will have been). I have dabbled on vanilla dating sites over they years and even on those I am pretty clear about it. There are subtle ways to do it - for example, one of my profiles used to say "If you enjoyed 50 Shades, then we might have something in common." Similarly, even on a first date, you could say something like "The movie 50 Shades was on last night. Have you ever seen it?" Almost everyone seen the movie or read the book. "What did you think about it?" That would be a safe way to try to introduce the topic and your date's response would tell you whether to continue down the path.

Kellyanne Conway - for lying. The implement doesn't really matter as long as it hurts. 😈