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Explorify last won the day on September 29 2019

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About Explorify

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  1. From earliest childhood, I fantasized about being spanked. With puberty, I added fantasies of doing the spanking. By the time I could actualize these fantasies as an adult, I found that I thoroughly enjoyed both sides - and still do. -Ex.
  2. I am inclined to think that this is not uncommon, particulary as partners are coming to know each other better. So, as 'er, I will at intervals say affirmatively something to the effect of: "I think your lesson hasn't been fully learned, and that you need more." That enables the 'ee to say, "Yes sir" (thereby asking for more without actually asking for it), or to repond with something to the effect that the lesson has indeed been fully learned. -Ex.
  3. My $.02: It can definitely be worth it. But due diligence is critically important. And plan to pay the going rate in your local market. In that respect, I have found bigger cities are likely to be preferable locations. The reason for that relates to the benefits of going this route. What you can gain is the benefit of someone with a lot of experience. And you get the opportunity to experiment in a variety of ways that might be a problem IRL. So I would say go for it - but carefully. -Ex.
  4. In an erotic situation, has anyone experimented with requiring the 'ee to do exercises before being spanked? -Ex.
  5. Ok, belatedly accepting the invitation to be serious. I love both ends, but under somewhat different circumstances. 1. If the setting is erotic play or a disciplinary relationship with a person with whom I am otherwise not significantly involved, I am happy with both and will freely play either role as circumstances warrant. The proof, such as it is, is that in my fantasy life I go half-and-helf. 2. In an LTR where we are talking about DD, I have so far only been comfortable being on top. Never, say never, I guess, but I truly have difficulty in imagining a future in which t
  6. I agree with the thought that a stoic 'ee is winning the battle of wills. And as an 'ee, I find that emotionally unsatisfying. That said, the 'er need not inflict an extreme physical beating. The same effect of psychological dominance can be achieved by requiring the 'ee to describe the punishment that is happening and why it is deserved for the offense in question. -Ex.
  7. I agree with the theme of these comments. So, as 'er, if the session is set up as I would like, before any form of aftercare there is an important moment in which I make the 'ee say in effect "Thank you for my punishment, sir. It was embarrassing and painful for me to [here recite details of punishment]. But it was exactly what I deserved for [here recite details of offense]. And I know it will help me do better in the future." The idea isn't to reinforce my authority but rather to get the 'ee to internalize (or as Handily says "own") the lesson. -Ex.
  8. My good advice would be to think carefully about whether this is indeed a problem that really needs solving. Solaris's solution will certainly work. But the price of implementing it will be that the spanking hurts significantly more. -Ex.
  9. For an expensive but high-quality taste of home you might try https://thelondontanners.com/our-leather/ if you are not already familiar with them. -Ex.
  10. As a switch my reaction is that in the moment, I probably experience more erotic thrill as an 'er, when my mind is fully focused on closely observing the 'ee, than I am as an 'ee, when my mind is being assaulted by a multitude of sensations (including unpleasant physical pain of course). Afterwards, however, although I do enjoy the memory of having spanked, I generally find the memory of having been spanked to carry a more powerful thrill. -Ex.
  11. I would add to what Handily said that the age difference between 'ee and 'er may well be less in the stepmother scenario (especially a fantasy one, of course). In the situation he describes, the 'er might well be in her 20's. I can certainly see that adding to the turn-on. -Ex.
  12. I entirely agree with your main point that the physical impact is not the essence of the interaction - we are talking spankings here, not beatings. And, as with sex, it's the mental aspect that governs the quality of the experience. I would just say that rhetorical questions are not the only way to go. I personally like to have my questions answered in full sentences. Tell me exactly and in detail what you did, and exactly and in detail what punishment you deserve. If I don't like the answers, I will demand that they be more fully elaborated, either by having the 'ee do so or by
  13. This is whole subject is always on the agenda for advance discussion with the partner, and as an 'er I am open to reasonable arragnements. However, my preference is that the matter be be under my control. That is, if the 'ee gets aroused, there is nothing to be done about it. But I like to be the one with the power to decide to bring them off, require them to bring themselves off, or make them ask permission to bring themselves off (which I may deny). -Ex.
  14. I think you deserve enormous gratitude from all members for both parts of your careful, honest and detailed account. Your contribution will surely be very informative and helpful to others. It is a bonus that your first time wound up being so good - good in what it did for you, and good in the obviously excellent performance of the spanker. This seems to reflect a lot of careful preparation by the two of you, which is another valuable lesson for all members. Please keep these accounts coming. -Ex.
  15. I agree with the enthusiastic comments. Your detailed and realistic account will be of great use to everyone thinking about participating in TTWD. -Ex.
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