I don't want to be another echo. But of course get to know people before you get over anyone's knee. Reality and fantasies differ. Be clear with what you want or are looking for for yourself before anything. Lurker or online research of the spanking arts you'll have realised there are many variations and needs. Knowing something about your needs is a good start. That should help you discuss others needs and desire to spank. Finding a perfect match may take a lot of time. Finding an honest match to explore further with might be more realistic and convenient. Basic red flags: Feeling rushed, guilted, inconsistencies, convoluted stories or reasoning. The usual things that don't add up. All sorts come by here. Nice people weird people, duplicate personalities etc. Some people think I'm nice some people hate me. So ask around, get feed back, ask for references. But in the end It is what feels right for you.