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humblebutt

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  1. I thought the embed would work, but I guess not Here's a regular link... Which somehow works! Go figure, lol! Anyway, she's a tough cookie. She can spank me any time!
  2. Uh... Katie Porter! <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jcUCIJiqnTE" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> No bullshit! No nonsense! I think she'd be perfect!
  3. The problem with belts for self spanking is that you can't get as much energy into the stroke as you can with a rigid implement. Try a handle mounted strap or belt loop, you might get more power with the added leverage.
  4. OTK with leglock. I'm not into passive restraint (being tied up in some way), but active restraint (being physically held in position by your spanker) is awesome! I'm a squirmer, so it makes me feel especially submissive to be over her knee, held in a way in which I can't squirm so much, getting a spanking over which I have only emergency control. I still have a safeword and I'm strong enough to break position if necessary, but so far it's never gotten scary.
  5. Yeah, it requires a selection on all three questions, which is OK for me as I'm an occasional switch. Don't forget, "Back Porch!" I was once threatened with my back porch being turned cherry red, which was delightfully embarrassing!
  6. It recently occurred to me that those who were spanked as kids probably cried during those spankings and as such, may have become preconditioned to cry during spankings as adults. So I'm curious: does getting spanked during childhood lead to crying during spankings as an adult? It's just a curiosity, as sometimes I wonder what makes us tick. FWIW, I wasn't really spanked during childhood (I occasionally got a spontaneous smack on the butt, thigh or face, but never anything formal) and I don't cry when I'm spanked as an adult. Please participate in my unscientific poll so as to test my hypothesis. Thanks!
  7. Talk with him. Tell him how it made you feel. Spanking is different for everybody. You don't have to do it for real -- especially if he goes to town on you for something so trivial as tardiness. If in fact he's been harder on you in past play, perhaps you guys can meet in the middle with role play? It might not be necessary in his fantasies for him to punish you for something real, and you might find you can get into a role play punishment spanking in ways you can't with a real spanking. And the great thing about a role play spanking is that the fictitious crime can be planned to fit whatever the desired punishment might be at the time. Ultimately, if you don't like being spanked for real, you don't have to submit to real spankings. Your feelings are valid. If he must punish someone for real, you probably aren't right for each other. But if everything else is so perfect, I doubt he'd want to risk your relationship by hurting you emotionally. BTW, whatever happens, you should definitely avoid a situation in which he spanks someone else outside of your relationship. Good luck!
  8. 120+ so far in 2016... and that's not counting variations like, "welcome back."
  9. First of all, I love the corner time aspect! I've done corner time before, during and after a self-spanking on more than one occasion. Though it feels a bit foolish (as does self-spanking in general), it's surprisingly awesome! Second, no, you're not a baby! With so many intense spanking videos online, an inexperienced person might consider them to represent what one can expect from a real spanking. But most of them are highly produced and there is a break between every edit. Even spanking videos that are, "real," are within the limits, implied or otherwise, set between the people involved. Spankings hurt in real life, but they only need hurt as much as you want them to hurt. And as katekk said, you don't need to be stoic about it -- unless of course, stoicism is what it's about for you. Spanking comes in as many flavors as there are spankos. Some people hate self-spanking and others love it. I'm in the latter category, but unfortunately I don't get to self-spank often due to my living situation (an apartment, with thin walls and children living in the building). Though most people prefer the real thing, self-spanking is a great way to experiment and figure out what flavor(s) of spanking you prefer. That said, the implements you used are perhaps not ideal for spanking in general. While an exceptionally quiet implement, the wire hanger (and along similar lines, rubber coated electrical cords) can be especially painful, as it concentrates all its force in very thin stripes. While quiet, thin metal must be used carefully when self-spanking, as unless you're monitoring your progress in the mirror, you can really hurt yourself without realizing it (think cuts and blood). The plastic hanger can break and cut you. The back scratcher is better than the other two, but there are better implements to be found around the house. Personally I think the best self-spanking implements are rigid and made of wood. Brushes and paddles are perfect, as they're easy to aim and they can be used with varying amounts of force. For those who need severe spankings, self-spankings are often considered to be too gentle. Those who don't need such a heavy spanking will find that a determined self-spanking with a long-handled bath brush or paddle hurts a lot! By determined, I mean determined to give yourself the spanking without regard to your natural instinct to lighten up or stop when it starts to really hurt. That's the big difference between self-spanking and real spanking. With a real spanking, you don't get to choose how hard, how fast, how long and where on your butt you get spanked (though you should definitely play with a safe word, at least until you get to know and trust someone). It's easy for someone else to keep spanking you despite your pain, as it hurts you a lot more than it does your spanker. But if when spanking yourself you are determined to follow through despite the pain, you can have a positive(ly painful) experience. In future self-spankings, I suggest you try a solid wooden brush (with the bristles embedded in the brush, not the hollowed out kind with the bristles in a rubber cushion). Experiment with it in different positions to test out the range of force you can achieve [FWIW, I think standing is the best (and most underrated) self-spanking position, as you can get the greatest leverage and swing radius]. It's likely you can spank yourself harder than necessary, so you'll have little trouble finding out just how hard you need to spank to make it real without hurting yourself. You can injure yourself with any implement, but hairbrushes generally just cause bruises which heal in time -- and which you'll likely wear with pride and remember every time you sit down for a while! Determine to give yourself x number of strokes with y intensity, and follow through with it without yielding to your desire to stop. Make x a small number of strokes to begin with (like 10), so if y hurts too much, you can still follow through without too much fear. After each set of strokes, reassess how it felt (i. e. -- too hard, not hard enough or just right). Eventually you'll be able to give yourself doses of 100 strokes or more, and follow through with it. But just as when playing with another person, if it's really too much, lighten up or stop and reassess again. Different flavors of spanking include all sorts of goals. For some, the goal is punishment. For others, the goal is arousal. For others it's about submitting to someone else, or any one or combination of a multitude of other goals. But for most, the goal is reaching subspace, which itself is different for each person, but generally refers to the point at which the spankee gets a second wind, and the strokes no longer hurt as much (or even start to feel good), and there is no longer any involuntary squirming, or in the case of self-spanking, no more instinct to stop due to the pain. Some people need to be spanked by another person in order to reach subspace. But many people are able to reach subspace with self-spanking. Though it's awesome when you get there, if you do so through self-spanking you have to be mindful not to hurt yourself, as the pain experienced in subspace usually under-represents the potential cumulative damage being done. Yes, it's possible to spank yourself too hard or too much. As I said, the wire hanger is a very painful implement and whether it was too hard or not, you will feel its effects for a long time. You shouldn't feel weird about anything you fantasize about and/or act out (short of acting out that which is seriously harmful and/or illegal). If you don't want to be embarrassed, make sure you have total privacy when you do it. That's what I mean about self-spanking being a good way to explore and figure out what you think might work for you. Even though it was awkward, you realize that you want spankings in the future! As for being scared about getting a spanking from someone else, that's what discussion about limits and general safety before you play with someone is all about*. If you are being spanked by someone you trust, and you've talked about it in advance and have agreed on a safe word, you have little to worry about as two things are at play: the spanker's desire to spank just perfectly, neither too heavily or too gently; and the spankee's desire to be able to take it without using the safeword. I promise you will love it when you get it right! Meanwhile, I encourage you to continue to self-spank. Try different implements. Try sentencing yourself to a specific number of strokes and follow through with them without lightening up. If you want to be less in control, there are plenty of people here and elsewhere online who can direct a self-spanking in real time chat**, which you might find easier to follow through with. You'll find that on some days you can take a lot and on others you can barely take anything. The more you spank yourself, the greater your tolerance to pain will become. If you don't spank yourself for a while, your tolerance will go down again. Gradually you will figure out what works for you and what doesn't. It will be valuable experience to have when it comes time to experiment in real life. Sorry for the long caffeinated post! Be safe and have fun -- or whatever your flavor of spanking permits! *Be sure to read the sticky about safety, posted at the top of the forum before meeting with someone in real life. **Please forgive this warning about that which might seem obvious, but just in case it's not... avoid video chat self-spankings (and be wary of people who pressure you to do so under the guise of, "accountability,") unless you want your self-spanking to be remotely recorded and posted online for all to see! Even if that appeals to you, you're only 23 and the presence of such a video could prove professionally embarrassing or worse for you, so you should at least wait until you're older and more established in life.
  10. The best thing to do is to talk to him in a non-spanking context. There's a fine line between just enough and too much, and he can't read your mind. He's probably being careful so as not to hurt you and/or jeopardize your marriage. If you tell him you want more, I bet he'll give it to you the way you want/need it.
  11. Your post is from October, so perhaps you've already tried out spanking. But since this forum is a resource for others with similar questions, and since nobody had yet said anything about consent and limits, I thought I'd post a comment. People who are new to spanking should read a lot -- especially information about safety (safewords, safecalls, etc.) -- and perhaps experiment alone before meeting with someone (self spanking can hurt a lot, but getting spanked by another usually hurts much worse!). Then they should experiment with someone they like until they figure out what works for them. If they decide they want spankings for real life punishment, great. If they decide that they only like play spankings, that's OK too, because adults get to decide who hits them and how... I Am Interested In The Response To This Question. I Would Like To Know If Spankings Are Actually Painful Or Is It Not As Bad As It Seems.?? Spankings usually hurt. How much they hurt depends on the arrangement between the spanker and spankee. Most people place limits on how long and hard and with what they will allow themselves to be spanked with. Newbies are wise to discuss limits and agree upon a safeword before proceeding. Some people feel they need severe spankings which hurt a lot, while some others can be reduced to tears with a few gentle swats. How much it hurts also depends on one's tolerance to pain, which fluctuates. Sometimes I can take a long and hard spanking. Other times, I'm barely able to remain in position. Usually it has to do with how long its been since I've been spanked, but not always. Many newbies, especially those who weren't spanked (or weren't spanked hard) as kids growing up, have quasi-romantic notions about how it will be (i. e. -- not that bad). But most people are surprised at just how much it hurts when it actually happens. My first adult spanking made me squirm so much that it freaked out my girlfriend and she stopped after seven strokes with the belt. I had spanked myself before without such pain, so I was surprised at how much it hurt. I didn't realize at the time that spankings hurt more on a wet or recently wet bottom. We had just come out of the hot tub, so of course it hurt a lot! Little things like that are not what you think about before your first spanking but they will take you by surprise. What Really Constitutes As A Spanking.?? Again it depends on the understanding between the spanker and spankee. Many people consider there to be different types of spankings. In general there are play spankings which can hurt but don't necessarily have to; there are sensual spankings which are for the feeling of it which can be given quite hard, but are not intended as punishment (and are often given in conjunction with sex); and there are punishment spankings, which whether roleplay or real, are not given lightly as they are meant to hurt. Many people go much further in defining spankings, I think primarily to provide reasons for spankings of varying intensity. Often it's defined by the offense for which it's being given -- harder and/or longer for more egregious offenses. Sometimes a spanking is defined by the reaction in the spankee, such as tears and remorse. Other times it's defined by the amount of redness, swelling and/or bruising on the bottom. So what constitutes a spanking for one person is different than another. Ideally newbies should experiment a bit before deciding what constitutes a spanking for them. Start gently! Young people have plenty of time to proceed to heavier spankings they find they want and can take them. Many people don't realize their need/desire for spankings until they are much older, so there's no hurry for 18 year olds! And What Is The Worst/Best Part Of It All.?? This is also different for each person. Personally, I like just about everything about spankings. The anticipation and apprehension is awesome! The D/S interaction is intense!! The humiliation of baring my bottom and assuming the position is exciting beyond belief!!! The embarrassment of squirming during the spanking and worrying whether I'll have to use the safeword is interrupted only by the pain of the swats!!!! The pain is difficult during the spanking and I usually feel foolish getting spanked as an adult -- it's simply indescribable how great this is for me!!!!! Without the pain, there would be no anticipation and apprehension, so for me it has to hurt enough to make me squirm. The only thing about spanking I'm not into is brutal spanking, roleplays involving little children or family members -- I don't want to be spanked by someone acting as my mother or sister, but I'm thrilled to be spanked by my imaginary high school teacher, guardian or girlfriend. Some people are into the ritual of it more than the pain. Some are mostly into the dominance and submission of it. Some are into feeling fearful, others are into feeling remorseful. People arrive at spanking from all different places, so each person's likes and needs vary widely. Ultimately one must decide for him or herself what the best or worst part of it is. Do You Truly Feel Better Once It's All Said And Done.?? I feel a rush of endorphins, which last for a few days. It's a huge mood enhancer for me, but I become irritable when it subsides, and I crave another spanking. It's kind of like a drug and as such, one needs to be careful and learn to recognize what one's feelings mean after being spanked. One doesn't want to become an unpleasant short tempered person just because of a lack of spanking induced endorphins! And Do People Really End Up Sleeping On Their Tummy.?? I've been a side sleeper all my life and I've had no difficulty finding a comfortable position to sleep in post spanking. However, sitting is an entirely different situation! After a very hard spanking, it can be uncomfortable to sit. Again, most people address this possibility in their limits, which either allow for such a hard spanking or don't. But if you are spanked hard and/or long enough to find sitting painful, realize that it's not as bad as you might think. The tough parts are sitting down, for obvious reasons, and also getting up, as it hurts all over again as you peel your butt off the chair. Personally, I enjoy the residual pain of a spanking and the accompanying discomfort involved with sitting -- hard wooden chairs are the best! It's a constant reminder of my spanking and I embrace it along with my bruises. YMMV. :-)
  12. Yesterday I had my first spanking in two years. It was my first real punishment spanking and my worst (best) spanking yet. My pain threshold is practically non-existent and my disciplinarian spanked me quite hard, so I squirmed a lot in every position she tried. Finally she got frustrated with my squirming and had me lie face down while she straddled my back and beat the hell out of my butt with a solid hairbrush. With her sitting on top of me spanking away, there was no way I could escape her blows. My butt has never been so swollen and bruised -- but strangely enough, I like it like this!
  13. Years ago I had VHS tapes of the spanking volumes of Ona Zee's "Learning the Ropes" series. There was lots of good stuff in it, but it's kind of dated. I'd suggest searching online for how to books, videos and essays. There is no one treatise which covers everything, but between all the stuff available online, it's easy to click and learn enough to be pretty confident. If your friend is learning to spank you, then you should clarify the online info and fill in the gaps with information which pertains to you and your needs/desires. Good luck!
  14. Since mrpoll won't let people see the answers to your "poll," how about posting (at least some of) them here?
  15. humblebutt

    Mad Rambling

    This answer reminds me of a former girlfriend who when I asked her, "what are you angry about?" she replied, "I'm not angry, I'm upset!" But then of course she was angry with me for not realizing she was upset instead of angry! OMFGoodness! Respect, support, angry, upset, WTF is the difference? How about some substance? :rolleyes;
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