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edrador last won the day on May 20 2015

edrador had the most liked content!

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About edrador

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  • Birthday 07/20/1976

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  1. Six, we're up to six now. I've met two Edinburgh Spankos in the last year, so the network is growing already. Mind you, even for sites specifically aimed at spankos in the UK, gender balance is a real problem.
  2. As with all these things, there is no right and wrong way. The spanker and spankee should discuss mutual interests, needs and limits before any scene. Talk about what you need and stick to what was negotiated. Certainly don't base your sessions on what somebody tells you is 'the proper way to do things'.
  3. Ben is absolutely spot on here. For me, as a spanker the rule is that everything I do MUST be consented to before any spanking starts. I think of it as the boundaries of consent. That doesn't mean that I will do everything that's within the boundary, but I won't step outside it even if she appears in all honestly to want to go further. The more I play, the more reasons I hear from spankees and submissives that it's a good rule. Subspace is the first big reason. When you spank somebody there's a tendency for them to go into a different frame of mind. Not all spankers are fully aw
  4. That was certainly the intention, but I think that it's always suffered from this dichotomy issue. Certainly it's been like this since I joined. Perhaps it's inevitable if you set up a site about adults spabking each other, a lot of people are going to take a sexual interest in it. Besides, it always had an erotic spabking setion so there was at least some intention to pitch a big tent.
  5. I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble. People aren't always totally honest about their intentions and interests on the internet, or in real life for that matter, but this site in particular seems to attract people who say they want one thing but are actually looking for another. I think that for the vast majority of men, there is an erotic aspect to spanking. There may be the odd person for whom it's totally platonic, I'm not going to assume any particular person of miss-representing themselves but your experience as well as many other women on this site is evidence that many people o
  6. I played last week with a woman who wanted to be bruised. In fact, bruising and marking are a key part of her kink. There is something fun about seeing the evidence of the session days later, especially if the sub wants to carry those marks around for a while but they're not something I strive for by any means. Whether an -ee bruises depends on a number of things. The intensity of the spanking, of course, then there's the implement, paddles and canes cause more bruising than a belt. Importantly, the more frequently and -ee is spanked, the less they bruise and the higher their threshold of in
  7. I'm heading to Boston for a week in two weeks. If there are any folks who fancy meeting for a coffee or a drink, please do get in touch.
  8. Hi Ella, Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry that I missed you in Philly. I hope to see you around in chat and I also sent you a friend request, Who knows, maybe I'll get back to Philly soon. My next trip is to Boston, I'm afraid, which is a bit far from PA.
  9. The gods of technology just took a dislike to me. Airport wifi timed out on me and now chat won't work. Very odd.

  10. I'm still jet-lagged from the flight out, and I'm in the airport waiting to fly home. Doing it again in 2 weeks. I must be crazy

  11. i couldn't agree with Daria more here. I'm sorry that you're going through something Laree and I hope that you can find peace and a way to get your needs fulfilled. The effect of internet porn on men particularly is a topic of growing interest in psychology and neuroscience. If you think that you have a porn addiction, there are people out there who can help, I would encourage you to track them down.
  12. You seem to have already made a start. Perhaps just relax about the whole thing a little bit. Not everything that you post has to be some great insight, it's just a forum of people on the internet after all. You could try hanging out in chat and just talking to people about any old thing, doesn't have to be about spanking.
  13. I personally would think that the top one would be more of a beginners implement. The bottom one is a heavy strop, it's going to have the potential to hurt and bruise more, it's also going to be more thuddy than the lighter one, which is probably more stingy. Think about what other implements you have and how this would complement them. If you own an American style school paddle, perhaps the thinner one will be a nice contrast. If you have a riding crop, then maybe go for the heavy one.
  14. To be fair, some communities are more judgmental than others but you're right. It's really tough, and not just on men. I've had more than one conversation with women on this site who were afraid to admit their needs and were very relieved to find out that I wouldn't judge them for it. There's an added dimension for women, that a woman from this site was explaining to me the other day. Many women find that admitting enjoying or craving something on any level, spanking or otherwise, is taken by some men as tantamount to full sexual consent. It seems that this poor attitude to consent is extreme
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