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Jimmysquest

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Everything posted by Jimmysquest

  1. Thanks to everyone for your insightful thoughts on my initial post! Being that I am a complete novice in terms of real word experience, I was a little hesitant to post my thoughts, but you have made me feel welcome and among friends. The common thread which I distill from most of your replies is that there is a certain learning curve to any new relationship, and during that "probationary period," the use of limits and safewords is an appropriate way to ensure the interests of both parties are protected. Nonetheless, I would respectfully adhere to my original position that once a suitable level of trust is achieved, limits are counterproductive. Stated in other words, if after a sufficient tine I cannot reach a level of trust with my disciplinarian which allows me to be confident she will only act in my best interests, then the relationship should be terminated. Respectfully submitted, James
  2. "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun." Ecclesiastes 1:9

  3. After reviewing numerous profiles both here and elsewhere, it occurs to me that many disciplinarians discuss limits and indicate they will respect the submissive’s limitations with regard to corporal punishment. It seems to me this is counterproductive to effective discipline. I understand the desire to make the submissive feel comfortable with the relationship. However, I think giving the submissive too much control over the nature of the punishment severely reduces any deterrent value the discipline might otherwise have. Discipline is and should be an unpleasant experience. But if I am allowed to select the parameters of my discipline, I can choose something which I know I will be able to accept. Thus, I have already set the punishment to a minimal level which will not have any particular deterrent value. By way of analogy, look to criminal penalties. Suppose the state allowed each person to select the fine they will pay if they are caught speeding. I could set my fine at $1. Such a low fine would have no deterrent value at all, and I could speed at will, despite being “punished” by being fined $1. In the same way, if I tell my disciplinarian she can spank me for any offense, but can only administer five light smacks with her palm, the “punishment” is little more than a token exercise. Now, I’m not saying you have to be beaten to a bloody pulp in order for discipline to be effective. Under many circumstances, five light smacks might be appropriate punishment, but the difference is that the disciplinarian makes the selection, not me. If I have selected the right disciplinarian, I know I can trust her to administer the appropriate and necessary punishment. In some cases, I might think the punishment is too lenient and in some cases, I might think it is too harsh, but the difference is that it is not within my control. Therein lies the deterrent value. You might say, “well, that makes sense in theory, but what if my disciplinarian turns out to be a psychopathic sadist who wants to beat me into unconsciousness for fun?” My response is that if you were careful during the selection process, you would have developed enough information to trust your disciplinarian and would know that he or she would be acting in your best interests. And frankly, if the person does turn out to be a psychopathic sadist, he or she probably won’t respect your safeword anyway. At the end of the day, this is a dangerous game we play. Caution, trust and common sense are paramount. Anyway, those are some brief thoughts of mine. Disagreement is welcome. Respectfully submitted, James
  4. I am a 50 year old well educated male living in New Orleans. I am seeking a female mentor for guidance and discipline if needed. I am not interested in the fantasy aspects of discipline, nor do I believe discipline needs to be exclusively corporal in nature. Rather, I'm seeking someone who can provide me with structure and guidance. I have been very financially successful in my career, but this has caused me to lose focus on other aspects of my life. I believe a mentor could give me boundaries and a sense of control over my life. I realize there aren't many true female mentors out there, but if I could find the right person, it could be a rewarding relationship for both parties. Respectfully submitted, James
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