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Everything posted by David!

  1. Once a spanking is over, I'm allowed to do what I want, and that's usually lie face down on the bed rubbing my sore bottom. If she'd wanted to punish me more I'd still be over her knee! Of course after being spanked in the car, I'm required to sit up straight and fasten my seat belt so she can drive, and if I'm spanked right before we have to go out, I'm expected to wash my face, look and act cheerful, and sit still when sitting is required.
  2. I feel completely helpless when my wife decides to paddle me, and having a safeword for emergencies doesn't help. I know she's going to paddle me until she achieves her goal, and no amount of wailing about how sorry I am and begging her to stop is going to have any effect. I do it anyway once I reach the point of no resistance, and just feel even more helpless. But inappropriate use of the safeword would get me only a brief interruption, and I've stood with my trousers and underpants around my ankles, rubbing my already sore bottom, waiting for her to get off the phone and finish my spanking (with some catching up) often enough to know a brief pause isn't worth much. I'd still get the rest of my spanking… I think if I used the safeword legitimately for chest pain, when I got home from the hospital and was completely recovered, she'd put me over her knee to give me "that spanking she never finished!" So using the safeword just because I felt my punishment was too hard to take, without a true emergency, would get me a brief pause with catching up spanks, and then additional spanking for using the safeword to "try to get out of a punishment I know I deserve"... when I'm helplessly submitting to a severe paddling and begging for her to stop, I'm no more likely to use the safeword than to suddenly yell "please spank me extra!" Because the effect would be the same!
  3. If your bottom gets really red, it is warm to the touch and feels a bit like a sunburn. A brisk, intense from the start spanking is most likely to bring a red flush, and slow and steady is less likely. But people vary and bottoms accustomed to being spanked have less flushing.
  4. It seems to me this is part of the point of having a safeword, even if it's never used. It can be hard to avoid, and important for mindset not to avoid, begging for the spanking to stop and be finished during a real punishment spanking. The existence of a safeword that is not used shows that despite making it clear how much you wish the spanking would stop, you have not withdrawn consent for it to continue until the disciplinarian is satisfied with the punishment. Playing word games with consenting not to be able to withdraw consent is relatively meaningless, and not having a safeword is potentially physically dangerous for the spankee and legally dangerous for the spanker.
  5. There are several variations, maybe even as many variations as there are f/m DD couples. Some are FLR with the wife as HoH and in charge of all aspects of life, others less so but nonetheless the wife is naturally dominant and rules the roost, but many are co-equal or nearly co-equal relationships but the wife spanks the husband to punish him for breaking household rules, or simply for immature or inconsiderate behavior (which is a tendency in many males), and then there is the cooperative DD relationship which switch depending on who has misbehaved... There are probably similar gradations of m/f DD couples. The m/f DD couples are certainly more evident, maybe because they are more frequent, but more openess and the perception that these are the more traditional (in patriarchal society) and "natural" roles probably also plays a part. There are certainly a good many disciplined husbands to be found, but shame, embarrassment, fear of lack of acceptance, or perhaps just less exhibitionism, likely makes us less evident. IMHO.
  6. Sex after a spanking is always great, for multiple reasons- your stress has been relieved, the conflicts between you are resolved, spankings are an intense turn on, to name a few. Sex in the periods between spankings is very good also, but not quite as intense. I think it benefits from the bonding of the spanking relationship, and sometimes something reminds me of my last spanking, or a notable spanking in the past, before or during sex which increases my urge. Is this sex better than it would be without a spanking relationship? I think so, but my wife has been spanking me more than 30 years, so I'm trying to compare it with sex a long time ago, when I was younger, hornier, more stressed and less experienced.
  7. A single light swat on the butt, like a light punch on the arm, is a well-known gesture that is unlikely to get you in trouble with authorities, but may be regarded by some as tasteless or embarrassing. You and your partner may know it is a threat or promise of a real spanking later, and all spankos will suspect that, but most vanillas will consider it the non-verbal equivalent of snarling "watch it!" or "behave yourself!" at your partner. A really hard swat, or using a paddle pulled from your purse, crosses the line...
  8. I agree, and this is among spankos who discuss their spanking relationships. I have a vanilla wife who spanks me because she feels I need to be punished, and I discuss it in forums like these because I am a spanko who enjoys talking and thinking about spankings, even punishment spankings that are very unpleasant to get. I look at the behavior in other couples around me and I can't help wonder how many vanilla wives spank their vanilla husbands just because it needs to be done, and both husband and wife keep their mouths firmly shut about this embarrassing situation...
  9. Sometimes, especially on a road trip or vacation, the wait for complete privacy at home is very long, and the effectiveness of a spanking is much greater if given promptly. IMHO, spanking in relative privacy, in a hotel, the backseat of a car parked in a secluded spot, or an isolated outdoor location, can be a choice of careful judgment not lack of impulse control.
  10. I think a decrease in the the intensity of any part of the spanking would make it easier to take, which is certainly not what she wants. It seems like a slower or lighter start would let me get a little used to it, but her goal is to get me struggling and yelling as quickly as possible, and then keep it up until she thinks I have suffered and am as sore as I deserve! She says she doesn't always spank as hard toward the end of the spanking, but I guess I'm so sore by then it hurts as much or more.
  11. I only get discipline spankings, and my wife always uses this no nonsense approach. I'm sure I would prefer something milder, but I don't get an opinion.
  12. My wife definitely likes her large wooden paddle best, because it takes less time and effort to get me howling and to be sure I end up as sore as she wants. She says I prefer the hairbrush, because "it doesn't hurt as much." Quite frankly, I dread them both equally, since spanks with the hairbrush come a bit quicker, so I get sore just as fast, and she still doesn't stop until she's "done"!
  13. My wife pulls down my pants and underwear just as far as my knees- she has no need to spend time getting them any lower than my knees, and she's clearly goal-oriented to applying her paddle to my bare bottom, which adds to the mindset. But gravity almost always takes my trousers to my ankles, and once I'm kicking and squirming as I get paddled, clothes tend to work their way off. I sometimes end up naked from the waist down by the time she's through, or with just my underpants flapping around around one ankle as I kick!
  14. For me it’s pretty complicated. I'm not into humiliation, and would even say I'm proud that my wife spanks me- that she cares, that she is emotionally strong and able to be firm with me. But it is humbling to have your misbehavior pointed out, to know that you're going to be spanked for it, to be getting spanked and have your struggling and pleading ignored while the spanking continues beyond your control. It is also very embarrassing to know others might hear or see or just be aware that you are being spanked, partly that they see you being helpless, partly that they see or know that your bare bottom is exposed and turning red as you get paddled, and partly that they know you misbehaved and deserve to be spanked for it. And yes it hurts physically, and has to be painful enough to truly be punishment, but the the emotional pain of being humbled, embarrassed and guilty is more important, and the lengthy persistent sensations that keep reminding you of how you felt getting spanked and why you got spanked are a major part of the effectiveness, and require that the spanking be sufficiently painful. The intense pain of the spanking is relatively brief, but having a sore and tender bottom lasts a day or two, and discomfort fading to twinges and sensations that remind you of your spanking lasts the rest of a week or so: a long time to keep revisiting those intense emotions!
  15. The big paddle stays at home except that it is brought along to vacation rentals. Away from home I'm spanked with the hairbrush, which fits in her purse. It makes a pretty loud smack on my bare bottom, although not as loud as the big paddle, and once when I came out of our hotel room at the same time as the woman next door, she made it clear that she'd heard me getting spanked earlier. I think she enjoyed embarrassing me, but I don't think she complained to the management. Once one of my hotel spankings was interrupted by the knocking of the housekeeper who wanted to say she would only be available to do the room for another 45 minutes. “No problem” my wife said ”We’ll be out in 15 minutes”. I was embarrassed, as I figured the housekeeper must have heard the hairbrush smacking my bottom and me pleading, but even worse my wife put me back over her knee and finished my interrupted spanking! I was afraid the woman was waiting and listening right outside the door, but by the time I washed my face and we left the hotel room she was on another floor. My wife made a point of telling her we were going out, they chatted a few minutes about the local sights and shops, and the housekeeper gave no hint that she knew I'd been spanked. The hairbrush is not airport friendly, so I've also been spanked in hotel rooms with a large hard rubber kitchen spoon that has a metal rod in the handle. It's much quieter due to the small impact area, and causes bruises, but with brisk use my wife gets the job done. If anyone hears anything, it's likely just my reaction and pleading!
  16. Once my wife says I'm going to be spanked, naturally I mostly think about how severely she is going to spank me, which mostly has to do with how stupid and annoying my behavior has been. Stupid includes doing something I have been spanked for before, or similar enough that "I should've known better!" My spanking will be based on my cumulative misbehavior since my last spanking, so basically anything I did that caused her to threaten or mention spanking me. I keep a list, and worry about if I'm getting close to being spanked… she doesn't, but it's like she has a frustration bubble inside- each time I misbehave, it adds to the bubble in proportion to how wrong, irritating, avoidable, etc the misbehavior is. When the bubble bursts I get a spanking that is precisely what I deserve, even though she probably can't exactly recall all the things I did to deserve it. The least severe spankings are when I just inched over her limit, the most severe come from really bad behavior when I was already close to the limit. Like I said, I keep a list and agonize over the spanking I'm going to get if I'm left to anticipate it. She just knows. The second thing I think about is when and where. If I'm being dragged to the bedroom where her big paddle is kept, or I'm sent to bring her paddle to where she's sitting on the livingroom couch, there's no doubt. But if we have guests, plans, are out around town, or are out of town, it's not always clear unless she specifies "when we get home", "when we get back to the hotel", "tomorrow morning", etc. She says this is the only thing she thinks about- the moment she decides I need to be spanked she knows exactly how hard and long a spanking she's going to give me, but she has to decide when. A more severe spanking is more urgent, and if she has a lot to do in the next few days, it may be worth taking the car to a secluded spot on the way home and paddling my bare bottom with her hairbrush in the backseat. But maybe it can wait until we're back at the hotel, or if that's going to be late, maybe before breakfast in the morning, etc. She says prompt punishment is desirable, but my suffering anticipating a spanking at a specified time or even a vague time makes up for any delay, so it's mostly about what's convenient for her and fits our schedules.
  17. You mean like... A blind cowboy walks into a bar, orders a whiskey, and starts "There was a blonde who..." Hold it right there, says the female bar tender. Before you go any further, you should know there are two blondes to your left who have black belts in karate... to your right is a blonde in leather with a coiled whip hanging at her hip... behind you is a blonde finalist in the state wrestling championship... and I'm a blonde myself and a I keep a Louisville slugger here behind the bar. Are you sure you still want to tell this joke? The cowboy takes a long pull at his whiskey and appears to think it over... No, he says, I guess I don't want to have to explain the punchline 5 times...
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