Davyd

I learn how to spank correctly , learning from friend who had some experience, and observing others at spanking parties...Having seen many who think that spanking is just swatting away on the butt with something and not even checking where the spine ends--we are not robots built the same way--one has to be careful. There are many spanking videos online. They go from erotic to truly hard sadistic ones with a lot in between. I suggest you check some out, then pick a couple of ones you feel comfortable enough with and share them with your partner. Then start learning together. If he learns to warm up your butt gradually swatting and spanking, then you can go on to heavier spankings. You will need to let him know its ok in the early days... Just do not ask him to get you squirming the first time. Nice guys who care for women struggle with giving pain to anyone until they understand the dynamics and genuine needs for spanking that ee's have Wishing you the best Davyd PS If he is the kind of guy who does not mind learning by asking questions, and talking to some who have spanked for a while, feel free to tell him he can contact me directly.

You are correct in that "good" is hard to define. I see, at least, three different aspects of spanking. Discipline, stress release and "fun". As a spanker I would use good if I felt I was meeting the goals set for the spanking. If it is a discipline one, the spanking would be good (I prefer effective) if it resulted in the ee not repeating the same mistake (s), at least for a while! If the goal is stress release then for sure I would like to hear after the session is ended that the stress had gone and the ee was in a totally different mindset. If one is having fun, like at a spanking party where ee's love to have a warm butt, then good would be a positive way to describe the experience if the spanking was given in an appropriate way for the ee to enjoy. Davyd

I like the advice you have already been given "Maybe even break up the long spanking to have very specific times, position, etc. relate to very specific items and verbally aknowledge "now we are working on X"...I would make sure that I focus and accomplish something if I am going to do it.. Best in my opinion to take it gradually, in increments..Glad you trust your spanker so you are not under the authority of someone who has no experience.... Let us know how it goes, when you can sit again:) Davyd

Glad to read you are curious about some aspects of this lifestyle... Is your bf also interested?

From my understanding the slipper as a standard discipline implement is used only in the UK but South Africa as well as I chat with folks in both countries who use it.

Never to old... for sure medical challenges impact many, and sadly for some older folks the time comes when physically bending over is no longer possible. I lean towards the fact that spanking, or a need to be spanked is part or our DNA. So there are no limits to how we think and enjoy our lifestyle. I tell friends if ever the day comes when I can no longer help anyone. I will purchase a spanking machine and once ee's are comfortably settled in place I will press a few buttons!

Davyd Pensacola FL Spanker M and F 70ies but young enough to be active.. Friends tell me late 60ies:)

More than once I have found that some men pretend to be women when wanting to talk about spanking... No clue why anyone would love to waste time that way... So tell "her" you need to talk on the phone. see what kind of response you get

good questions... You say the lady is one who is experienced. If that is true, and I hope you have have done your homework to make sure she is, then share your concerns with her and let her decide where to start with you. Its normal for any experienced spanker to make sure the spanking they give a newbie is not one where marks are left with folks who have room mates. Sadly some claim to be experienced who are not! So do your homework before you commit to getting a spanking. Asking to talk to some she spanks is always a good test. Any excuses.. 'well its all private'... or 'no one does that'....is a lot of bs.. so move on.. There are many genuine good, careful spankers.. You just need to make sure this lady you talk about is one of them. I trust you will get the help you want from a good spanking.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The symbol pictured does illustrate well the ideal relationship. As a committed follower of Jesus Christ, I am very aware that while we have high goals, and seek hard to keep to them, total harmony in my life is not always there., . So glad that in my faith, I find forgiveness for my failures, a forgiveness that truly encourages me to do better.

"I’m still searching for the right local disciplinarian for me (it’s difficult to find spankos in Idaho and Utah), but I don’t feel guilty anymore for my need. It helps me in so many ways. " Wondering since you wrote in our club, if you have been successful in finding a church member who can help you. Some years ago I was chatting online with some folks, members of your church, who clearly felt that accountability was helpful. I hope you do get the help you want and need Davyd

Wondering since you posted that story, if you have had any follow up talk about helping to make sure you get to church (on time) with your "big brother".? Who knows, he may be interested in helping you! For those of who have strong personal faith (I am a Christian, a follow of Jesus Christ and His teachings) there is clearly a lot of help available to those who feel their faith can be strengthened thru accountability.

I learnt the hard way but did learn in the end! 2-3 months is a very long time to try to find a partner. I have had some who just want to ask questions, that never end! I tell them that after three exchanges of notes or emails I insist on talking on the phone. That seems to stop quite a few! Its easy to block numbers these days if they have 'concerns' so there is no excuse for not talking at some time. If I feel they are legit we go to a face to face talk on skype. It the person claims to live with a few miles of where I live I insist on meeting at a coffee shop or restaurant to talk. Have some failed to meet me.. yep.. but at least the time wasted was fairly short. Life is way to short to waste with those who seems to find time to try to mess life up! I would have some concerns about creating a public list of those we feel are fakes. On another site have seen at times some go after another person in a personal vicious way... In one case with folks I knew, it was a gal mad at a guy, claiming a lot of bad stuff, when clearly he had not done any of that... If one starts to mention SN's, some will just make up a different account. Davyd

I agree. What is SO often forgotten is that every time one is spanked the pain level is going to be somewhat different. That can be caused by fatigue, stress, headache etc., The list is long! That is why spankers needs to take time before starting a spanking to "read" how the spankee is feeling and not just start spanking assuming its just like the last time. Davyd

1. Have witnessed many, not all sexual but some. 2. Prefer to discipline privately, unless having to discipline more than one for the same offense 3. Always interesting for sure! 4. There can be some shaming/humiliation when watching a spanking but humiliation can be very negative for some.. Have to know who that person is and some about their mental state. 5. If they cry its ok, but not one to want to want to see any one forced to cry. 6. Yes for sure. in my book discipline spankings are not just not to turn anyone on... They should be real.