ammon

i'm convinced that the yearning to receive a spanking is far more common than the desire to spank someone. Although we see a bit of a mix here at SN, still i'm confident that spankees way outnumber Spankers. On a couple of other sites i'm aware of, spankees seem to outnumber Spankers by about 20 to 1. i wonder if the intrinsic need is greater for one or the other? ... meaning, is the spankee yearning really strong and continual, and the Spanker desire sort of, occasional, and take it or leave it? How many Spankers really have a deep need to spank someone? ... last question... i'm very, very eeeeeeeee.

... i love that You are becoming a straight ER!

i strongly prefer long paddling and strapping sessions in which the Spanker requires that i be totally unclothed throughout the paddling session. i wouldn't feel comfortable if the Spanker were any less than fully clothed. For me, this combination of attire isn't sexual, although it could be minimally sensual in some aspects. Additionally, i sense that full nudity is different for men and Women, in many ways. As others have expressed, for some the fully-clothed Spanker and fully-unclothed spankee may not add to the dynamic or the vulnerability of the experience. For others, this dynamic is important. SN members will likely always have different perspectives on clothing. We may not agree with another's perspectives, and we may not understand his or her perspectives. Unique circumstances, identity, socialization, nature, nurture, mindsets, and needs all affect the perspectives of Spankers and spankeeeeees. Although perspectives differ and our own understanding is limited, i hope we can respect others, respect the validity of individual circumstances, and treat others with dignity. For me, right and wrong clearly exists in many areas. Similarly, many areas have room for a broad range of experience, preference, and needs. Often, someone can only see or fathom his or her own perspective, and expresses it as if it's a universal truth. That can lead to unneeded contention, animosity, or even alienation. Don't we have more than enough of that in politics? i hope that at SN, we can respect and value one another, admit room for differences of opinion and need, and treat each other accordingly. When we express personal preferences, let's consider thinking of them as personal preferences rather than universal absolutes. Stating preferences as personal may go a long way toward avoiding unintended misunderstandings. (i mention all this now based on this topic and many others in our forums that stir ill will among those who should remain friends, and friendly.) For me, the fully-clothed Spanker, fully-unclothed spankee adds a lot to the experience and what i need from the experience (which is unique for everyone). For me, this mode increases and emphasizes the Spanker and spankee roles, submitting to the Spanker, the vulnerability, the control dynamic, obedience, and maybe some embarrassment. i also seek and need very serious paddling. While others may not relate to any of these needs and preferences (among many) or understand them at all, they are important to me. i accept and respect that others' preferences are very often completely different than mine and i hope they can fulfill their needs to the fullest. When a Spanker and spankee have contrasting expectations, hopefully they communicate about it appropriately. i bet that much of the time, they can still meet on mutual grounds and participate in a mutually beneficial and fulfilling experience. Unless an area is specifically off-limits, the participants may even be able accommodate some differences and still have a meaningful and memorable experience. As an adult, all of my paddlings have been from fully clothed Women and men, while i've been fully unclothed. That has been important to me and provided beneficial experiences for me. However, if that is impossible or distasteful for a Spanker, i'd still welcome the experience. We could still find a lot of common ground and develop a meaningful experience and relationship. After all, a very serious paddling is very important!

i'm a little late to the topic, but it seems like the right response would have been, as someone suggested, to file for an extension. And, to sit down together to help with the taxes, and maybe get them done by the deadline. Maybe You needed some help researching tax topics or gathering information. Maybe y'all should have been checking in with each other before the deadline. Some funishment and stress relief could come around later. Just a thought. But how did it turn out?

Thank You, Ms. Chawsee. You touched on 2 very essential aspects of our activities: participants receive authentic corporal punishment, and ...we're careful to conceal our bruises and welts from those who wouldn't understand

And maybe give the quiet ones the credit they are due?

i think sometimes people surprise us...the person who doesn't seem dominant in a group may be the person who is very dominant when the 2 of you are alone...And the person who seems dominant in a group or in her public persona, is submissive when the 2 of you are alone... What experiences has anyone had with these exceptions? Are we looking in the right places for the right person?

Things haven't changed much since April 2007 when tom posted the perennial question...what, if anything has changed in the 16 intervening years?

Wow, thanks, Ms. Chawsee!! i was hesitant to share the quote and thoughts. i appreciate Your approval. Maybe W/we are on the same page?

Thank You, Ms. Chawsee, for wise counsel and pointing out the obvious! Seems that some role reversals have taken hold in the relationship. i'm not sure how appropriate (or out of line) the following quote is from a similar discussion, but in view of the comments on submitting and other activities, it came to mind: "Giving fellatio is sexual servicing, and particularly if unreciprocated, is a degrading act of subordination. The act confirms the social inferiority of the one who gives it. Giving fellatio puts the giver in a state of submission." Hence, the dubiety or confusion for some in the role reversal taking place. (Or maybe She is conditioning you to really need spanking?) Maybe a year around celebration of Cake Day (c&C on 4/14) would highlight your newfound joy and lifestyle better than the role reversals? ... okay, so now i'll brace myself for all the reprisals from half the population...pardon me for the questionable propriety of introducing the above quotation.