Love the honesty...
That is a profound insight...that spanking, or being spanked is a kind of sacred territory...that would be a great discussion.
Admittedly, i'm biased on whether someone (and especially You, Ms. Chawsee!) should spank outside men. From everything we've read and heard from and about You, You keep this well under control. Receiving a spanking might stir sexual feelings in some men, although maybe these men deserve some credit for keeping their feelings in proper bounds? And i think You get to know the men You spank before You meet them. For me anyway, a serious paddling tends to eliminate sexual feelings, and about all i can think about is the paddling and strapping (if that!).
Regarding inappropriate bonding, i sense that You control that, too, as would responsible spankees. Spanking participants would normally and typically address relationship status, expectations, and limits before meeting. They may re-address those areas during meetings and throughout the spanking relationship. Respect for, admiration of, and liking another person need not violate sensible boundaries. When, or if, the respect, admiration and liking evolve beyond sensible boundaries, the participants should recognize that, identify problem areas, and discuss it honestly. The result may be to limit interactions as needed, or if required, discontinue activities.
Completely foregoing the value and benefits of (un)pleasant spanking interactions seems like going too far, like maybe going beyond the mark or target of sensible interaction and behavior. That step might be appropriate for some persons or in some circumstances. Some things, like smoking, for example, we should avoid completely (in my view). Other things, just as an example (that may not be entirely fitting), like eating, we have to do. Yet, we should strive to eat properly, for nutrition, health, sociability, and enjoyment.