Switch E

Welcome to Tennessee - when you get here.

Thrift stores are indeed a great source for implements!

Welcome to the site.

You've had some rough times recently Chawsee. My condolences.Getting away was a good idea. I am glad coming out went well. Hang in there.

It sounds like she is not comfortable spanking you. The fact that she never did it again and and regretted it and felt guilty leads me to believe it would be very uncomfortable for her - and why put her through that. Some people on here gave good advice: save your money and pay a professional. If there aren't any near you then perhaps find one who lives somewhere you want to visit and make a vacation out of it.

I just noticed this question. I imagine it is different for each person on the receiving end which makes it difficult on the spanker. What works well for one spankee may have the opposite effect on another. For me, the number one thing I would ask is please don't rub my bottom during the spanking. I love the stinging sensation from a spanking and rubbing my bottom takes away from the sensation I like and crave. I would also say if I start to make noise or move a little I am okay. Please don't stop or ease up. I am approaching my limit but still have a ways to go and I enjoy it when a spanker takes me past my limits. Trust is important in that case and it is reassuring to have a conscientious and experienced spanker who is monitoring the condition of my flesh. I would also want the spanker to know that marks don't last long with me - they go away quickly. Some spankers have stopped too soon because of the way my bottom was looking - but in a relatively short period of time there was little or no evidence of the spanking. I would definitely want the spanker to know that she or he is in charge and I like it that way. I want and need the spanker to take charge - in a firm but fair way. I like real spankings for real reasons. I can take more spanking and am in a better mental place if we talk about why I am being spanked, be it punishment or stress relief, some dialog definitely adds to it. Some things that don't work for me: When a spanker is constantly changing implements. I have had a few spanker that seem to bring out every implement they own and want to give me a specific number of hits with each - it becomes predictable and interrupts or prevents me from getting to my limits. I am going on a bit so I will wrap it up. Good question, Chawsee. I applaud you for doing this research and striving to be a better spanker - although from things you've said, I believe you already give a good spanking.

I like the spanker to talk to me about why I am getting spanked. It is also nice to be told that it is my behavior that is not liked (as opposed to me). I like to feel that the spanker has my best interests in mind and is going to spank me because it will help me. When I give spankings that is my goal as well. I want to be forgiven afterwards - that's not to say that additional punishment hasn't been earned. I like the spanker to be in charge - which could mean additional punishment at the discretion of the spanker. One thing I have found effective after I get spanked is having to sit on a hard wooden chair. I have also received bed spankings - which is very effective if I have been spanked earlier. Geeky_child put it very well in the post above as far as the spanker deciding the extent of the punishment and the spanking hurting more than I want it too. Another great thought provoking question, Chawsee. Thank you.

Dutchbrat really put it well. Stress relief and punishment spankings are both very effective for me and need to be hard. For a stress relief spanking it is very difficult - almost impossible to think about my problems when getting a hard spanking. Afterward, I seem to feel better - maybe because of the endorphins or because I feel centered and focused. For punishment - I would rather get a spanking than feel guilty about something and have to deal with those feelings - which, to me, are very negative. So punishment spankings help me to be focused and centered as well. The person giving the spanking has a big part in how I feel as well. The spanker has to understand the dynamics of punishment and stress relief spankings - it is not just about hitting someone hard. I read on one of the threads that you say a prayer (I believe in private) before giving the spanking - I remember commenting on that because it seems like you put a lot of thought into giving the spanking - that mindset definitely helps me - to have a spanker that understands the need someone has for a punishment spanking and how to meet those needs. Spanknutt also seems like he would be a good disciplinarian as well. So trust is a big part of being able to take a hard spanking and feeling at ease with the spanker.

I have been spanked by both women and men and have had good and bad experiences with both. To me the most important thing is that the spanker and spankee communicate with each other and are on the same page about spanking.

If it is a good spanking then the only thing on my mind is the spanking I am getting. I desire discipline and stress relief spankings - so for me spankings need to be real. Otherwise what goes through my head is "please spank me harder" or "when is the spanking going to start". I want the spanker to be in charge and I don't want to direct the spanking. I have found that communication prior to the spanking is essential.

I think that it is terrific that you pray about and think about the spanking you are about to give. As a spankee, that is the mindset I would like my spanker to have.

I usually identify as a switch because I enjoy giving and receiving spankings. However, I definitely need to be spanked. I function better and am happier when spanked regularly. I don't have the same need to give spankings and I haven't given one in a long time. But even though I have a strong desire to be on the receiving end of a spanking I don't really think of myself as a true submissive and am not submissive in other aspects. My wife doesn't like to be spanked and is not really into spanking, but she does spank me when I ask her. Neither one of us in charge, we talk about things and make decisions together.

I got two from my disciplinarian right before the quarantine - one was with hairbrush and strap and the next week was with the hairbrush and a hickory switch that I had to go into the front yard to get - the switching took place in the house. So when things are back to normal I will be resuming my weekly accountability meetings. However, I was told I will be getting two per week until we are caught up on the weeks that were missed.

Abso;utely!

No worries. Thanks for responding. There seem to be a number of ladies out there who are spankees. I hope you make some connections. Happy spanking.