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  1. Hi Guys, How is everyone? Are you having a challenge you'd like to talk about? A question, maybe? Comments? Please chime in and share with us an update. Male spankees are a special class of men, and I'd like to hear how each of you is doing. Kindly, Chawsee
    6 points
  2. I would like to offer my thanks for all the hard work that is going in to sorting the site out. Yes its frustrating yes its inconvenient but we can live with it to get this great site back up and running again. Please be patient and remember how much you enjoy the site
    4 points
  3. Moderators are free to express how they feel. There is a feedback section for a reason. I understand that its frustrating the site isn't working properly (trust me; it's not as simple as what we've put out; and it's been stressful for myself and @Mystery Man) - but we are doing the best we can given the situation.
    4 points
  4. Admin is aware of the problems. There is no need to come back every few days and complain. The problems aren't their fault. As stated, it's the server and software company. It's not an easy fix and they are doing their best. It's being worked on daily. This site is offered to everyone for free. It's ad free. There is no one locking out members and asking for money every couple of months, which is happening on other sites. Admin offers this site so we have a place to share and talk about TTWD. No one is entitled to this site. Saying "We've all put up with it" is a slap in the face to those offering this site.
    4 points
  5. Hello all, I want to first apologize for the site extreme lag. This was part of a lot of issues <that we are doing our best to resolve> and troubleshoot. We've updated to the most current of the forum software (another release was just let out since my last week update). @Mystery Man Did some updates to the back-end last night and I am doing some updates to the front-end (theme); in the meantime only the black theme will show up as the others need a major update. We know that this theme isn't ideal for everyone and will try to have a light theme running ASAP.
    3 points
  6. Looks like some tempers might be flaring, so let me make it clear that I'm not complaining, I'm offering feedback on the current user experience in the hope it can provide assistance to CoL, MM and anyone else working on this issue. The site is running better. The main page loads more quickly and I've gotten good response times both on PC and my mobile. I haven't pinged out trying to land on the main page for at/near 48 hours. The profiles are still a bit sluggish to load. No issues with pulling up discussion threads, but I'm still seeing things hang a bit when trying to reply to threads. So the hard work that the admins have been doing is showing. I don't really use the chat system, so I can't comment on that. Again, I'm stressing that I'm not complaining; I'm offering feedback on the user experience for whatever help it might provide to the folks working on the issues. Thanks for all of the hard work. When these problems started, I was going to ask if you had the ability to run a DB performance monitoring tool or not. I know the hosting service might not grant that level of access. I held back because I didn't want to come off as presumptuous, though. If you can run such a tool, and if you're looking for a freeware utility, then I'll be happy to follow-up with MM directly to see what options may be viable.
    3 points
  7. Well, my relationship with my husband lasted 15 years and we were friends since high school. He was my spanker during that time. My current relationship has been 10 years. He was my spanker and Mentor first and then my boyfriend. We met on this site and he's the love of my life. My heart and soul. His spankings are just what I need. He knows me well and anticipates my needs before I do. I'm 51 and I don't see spanking leaving my life any time soon. Thanks to Miss Clairol....I am not gray!!! Haha.,,,
    3 points
  8. My last spanking was 3 weeks ago He held me down and paddled me hard. I had some marks and soreness for a few days....and some wonderful calming. He's been out of town so I am overdue. Things finally get back to normal this weekend. I've had a major upset in my life in the past couple of weeks and I am ready to release some stress and tears. I'm also ready to be held in his arms. Just being with my boyfriend makes life better!
    3 points
  9. @Drooaygah I just wanted to let you know I appreciated and respect and also glad you feel you can freely express change needing to happen with the site. Communication of what was going on was a must. And you helped remind me of that. So, for everyone confused the last few months - I am sorry for not being more transparent on the work we have been doing [and struggles]. But we have not given up on this site. I love this community, and it's were I found myself at. And so honored to help run her. Sometimes when everything add's up and you're having a lot of anxiety you don't know how to put into words what is going on.
    3 points
  10. I don't see the need to speak to us in this manner. Members are providing feedback on the site. If you do not wish to get feedback from users of the site, and would not like any assistance, then simply state as much. There is much expertise available from the users here, and sharing may produce a solution. I suspect, based on my observations using the site, the solution is simpler than you are making it. However, I have told others not to offer advice since, as you have show here, input is treated with hostility.
    3 points
  11. We’re in the process of updating that version. That theme had to be re-written by scratch.
    3 points
  12. I think that is so interesting that some people have " spankdar"! I truly wish I had instead of wondering while I was in a store, or party etc... Maybe we should wear wristbands, blue for spanker, yellow for switch, and red ( naturally) for spankee. Any color combination would work, but think of the sly grins when shopping...etc..lol
    3 points
  13. I stood in front of the desk, awaiting her verdict, nervously. She spoke. “Because this is your first time, I shall to let you off with a warning” A wave of relief. “Now bend over the desk, please.” Gulp. “But Miss… you just said you were going to let me off with a warning???” “Yes, dear.” She picked something up. “This is the Warning Cane. Bend over.” Heart sinking, I did. Taptaptap. Swish. Thwack. Oww. Tap. Swish. Whap. Oh, oh, ouch. Taptap. Swish. Whack. Ohhhhh gosh. “Stand up” It hurt to stand. “This will be your only warning. Next time it will be: six smacks, with the Naughty Girls’ Cane, on your bare bottom. Do you understand?” Sniffle. “Yes, Miss.” “You may go.”
    3 points
  14. She annoyed me, that shop girl. They sometimes do. Didn’t seem to be paying attention. And I have a short fuse. I know. I explode with anger and then regret it. And this was going to be another one of those times. I could feel it coming. And then there were tiny, faint bells, glingleglingle, and I was somewhere else entirely. A cloudlet of dry white mist danced round my feet. But the floor was solid enough. There was a large ornate desk and a smiling white-clad lady behind it. She spoke. “Ah, Dorothy. Welcome. You may be a little confused. Don’t worry.” Behind her shoulders I caught a glimpse of tiny wings. Not big enough to fly with, certainly. Must be some joke shop thing. But where was I and who was she and why was I suddenly not where I had been? I looked for words to ask these questions, but she answered before I found the words. “We’ve taken you out of time for a while. A time-out, if you like. I don’t suppose you believe in fairy godmothers? “No, of course not” I spluttered. “Good. We’re not them. Don’t worry who we are.” From the desk she picked up a short wand. Like the wings. Joke-shop tat. A little bell on one end and a glittery star on the other, a few flakes of glitter even falling off as she picked it up. What nonsense was this? She waved the wand off-handedly and the bell gave a tuneless tinkle. And then immediately I was in a different room. Still a little mist swirling around my feet. A different desk; a different lady, a little older; black dress but same joke-shop wings. What IS this? “Ah, Dorothy” she spoke. “In the world you just stepped out of, you’re about to be very nasty to that poor girl, and that won’t help either of you, will it? In fact, it will make both your days worse than they need be, hmmmm?” I was lost for words. She was right, of course. But could I help it? And who was she and how did she know? She continued. “When you go back you will still have the choice what to do. We deal with consequences, not choices. You don’t believe in fairy godmothers, do you?” The same question the previous lady had asked. The same answer. “No, of course not.” “Good” she said. “We’re not them. We may or may not exist. You may or may not believe in us. Think of me as …. your fairy spankmother, if that helps.” “My … what?” “This is what you deserve if you’re nasty to that poor girl, as you plan to be”. She picked up another joke-shop tat wand, identical to the other, and waved it. A tinny single bell sounded. And I was facing carpet. Over her knee. Skirt up and knickers down. I hadn’t moved, and yet I was there. A firm smack landed on the left side of my bottom, followed by a twin smack on the right. Then the spanks rained down, without pause, fast and hard and building to glowing soreness. I wriggled. She held my waist and smacked and smacked, relentlessly. Tears spurted. Mine. Wriggling, kicking, but nothing could alleviate the fire consuming my bottom. Until suddenly I was standing again, in front of the desk, and she behind it, with the silly wand and the silly wings. She spoke again. “Now, Dorothy, you are going back to the place and time we took you from. If you do as you were going to, you will have deserved the spanking I just gave you, will you not?” This was absurd. “But” I stammered “what if I don’t?” “Ah” she almost smiled. “The paradoxes of time and choice. Do we exist? Did this happen?” She waved the joke-shop wand and there I was, back in the shop. Nothing had changed. I took a breath, ready to vent my exasperation at the girl. And then I became aware. A millisecond ago, my bottom wasn’t sore. Now it is. Very. I shivered. The world spun. I forced a smile where the angry voice would have been. A “sorry; let me try to help” in place of the anger. And struggled through it, and home as quickly as I could, still not quite knowing what had happened. Drop the shopping. Quickly to a mirror. Skirt up, tights and knicks down; what’s real? Red or white? Red. And sore. Every sign of a spanked bottom. But did it really happen? Briefly and faintly, the word ‘yes’ appeared in the mirror, then faded. Or did I imagine that also? A good spanking, by somebody who couldn’t possibly exist, for something I didn’t actually do, but something I would have done if I hadn’t been spanked for doing it, which I didn’t. Fairy godmothers. How silly. Ouch. Ouch.
    3 points
  15. I never used to be able to cry, being someone who was tightly self-controlled in most every way. My partner and I broke through that barrier. Once it was broken, tears have been achievable with most disciplinary spankings, provided my mindspace is right and there is enough intensity. Crying serves as an important pressure-release valve for me now.
    3 points
  16. I'm glad you brought this up!! I read Jillian's book and really liked it and have watched some of her videos...I think she's really brave for coming out like she has...but I also feel like she kind of lives in a different world from me...and so I can't really relate to some of her ideas... I've gotten this from some people on here too who seem to live fulltime spanko lifestyles...which I find fascinating and like to hear about...but is so different from my experiences... I have some really conservative relatives...old friends...even my current bf who isn't conservative but he's a vanilla and really doesn't understand the whole spanko thing very well... Also at my job they told me they pay a company to check internet and social media stuff when they hire you...and I'd be kind of worried about them seeing all about my spanko stuff... I've gotten some really negative reactions to my art...even from other spankos...because it deals with my childhood memories or fantasies of my Little persona...I think that stuff is really hard for some people to understand and I don't think everyone's going to just be accepting of it...maybe someday...but not in the world right now... It's funny because I've shared some of the most intimate things about myself on here...stuff I NEVER told anyone in 'real life' and don't know if I will...it's been really therapeutic for me in alot of ways...that's why having a safe place like here is so wonderful...
    3 points
  17. I think your instincts are right, go with them, and Chawsee is right, too. Moreover, particularly if you are an important political asset and not just a minor player... practice op sec (operational security). Use https (SSL) when accessing sites like this, as well as a robust VPN, and that better not be your mug on your profile pic. Even with all that, you are leaving breadcrumbs that might perk the interest of someone, tidbits like "political activist," "Conservative," "Ireland," and your age, sex. You know, Ireland is not that big. It has gotten second nature to me to just omit a lot of personally identifiable information (PII). This site would be particularly dangerous if you neglect to do that, because it does not allow deleting any of your own messages. This thing is not a really big deal in my opinion, but in politics, people are apparently not supposed to have sex at all or do anything remotely sexual, including spanking or anything that is a fetish, except within the confines of marriage. Anything that takes more than 30 seconds to explain, you have already lost, no one will listen.
    3 points
  18. In university I volunteered as a coach at a local swimming club team. One of the girls on the club had a huge meltdown at practice and was veery rude to the coaches. Leaving the pool the mother and daughter were going to the car and the mother approached me. She apologized and said that she does not tolerate that attitude and that "her daughter is going to find sitting difficult". I looked at the girl and her cheeks were blushing!!
    3 points
  19. As Chawsee said, the focus of a spanking should never be tears. Some of us just can't cry. I don't cry easily. I have a high pain tolerance so a spanking alone isn't going to bring me to tears. I need the emotional part of it to cry. He spanks me out of love. I need him to talk to me during the spanking. I need to be able to feel his disappointment if I am being punished. He stops spanking and asks me questions. It allows me to release the guilt and the built up emotions. During a stress relief or just because spanking I need him to talk to me. I want him to tell me to let go. I cry when he hits the emotional button. Sometimes it's a few tears sliding down my face, sometimes it's sobbing. I'm not disappointed if I can't cry, but I'll admit I wish I could cry, during a spanking. more often. The catharsis, the purging of emotions, is amazing and feels so good.
    3 points
  20. Thank you for your honest sharing, Tim. I'm sure that others here can relate to what it feels like to lose a relationship. It's not easy for any of us. Hang in there, okay?
    2 points
  21. Gary, thank you for your kind words, sweet friend. I am proud of you for talking with your wife openly about your needs. Even the most in-tuned disciplinarians benefit from hearing what you need, and hearing it from you. I call this "going deep" or having a "heart-to-heart." Did you feel more bonded with her afterwards? Such honesty tend to have that affect. Consider yourself blessed that you have this strength. Good work! ⭐
    2 points
  22. Broke my record for most consecutive spankings in a weekend. Hmmm, what's my next challenge? Keeping my mouth shut maybe? Nah, that's too boring! 😜
    2 points
  23. I too have been intensely frustrated by the site's problems, and made my opinion forcefully know. CoL and MM have stepped up to the plate as best they can so that's good enough for me. As to the feedback issue: up until Monday when I finally had enough, I've been coming on nightly and asking for just that. And I'm not surprised to hear some people are frustrated. And I understand. However, pissing and moaning, acting like an abuse victim, threatening that the site will fail, and offering unsolicited and uninformed technical opinions is simply pathetic. No one is abusing the members - the owners are doing the best they can. If people choose to abandon the site, that's their business. All the other spanking sites have their issues as well. If you really think you know something about how to address the site's technical issues, contact Mystery Man or CoL.
    2 points
  24. We don’t make any profit off SN (or break even). It’s purely a site we want to run to help people speak about their kinks. The co-admin and I both are essential workers during COVID and have both lost people in our Iives in the past year. It's not been easy. I've kept people updated on various solutions we've worked with our host the past 8 months on (and software company). It has not been an easy fix. We've been scaling back the site's features to see if a bug is within a plug in and purposely inducing the site to crash for troubleshooting reasons.
    2 points
  25. They are working on the site and doing their best to get things straight. Have some patience everyone!!!
    2 points
  26. It doesn't take much more than a few minutes of playful banter to figure out if someone might be inclined.
    2 points
  27. Yup, this habit has brought me more than my share of regret. So you know what I’m saying. Remember this about disciplinarians... Still water runs deep!
    2 points
  28. That made me laugh, first thing that popped into my head was Inspector gadget. My spankdar is damn near surgical. Just certain things you notice kind of give it away, the more involved you are in TTWD the stronger the spankdar skill set grows
    2 points
  29. My Spankdar is strong.
    2 points
  30. Over the years, I've come to realize that it happens for me pretty often. I have no clue how or why it works, but many people have told me that I seem to attract fellow spankos like a magnet, and in a wide variety of locations and situations. I am not afraid to test the waters if there are clues, or when I have strong feelings that it may be the case. If someone makes a comment about spanking, discipline, or punishment in casual conversation, I will respond to it in a manner that makes it clear I am interested in further discussion about what they are saying, or even make an offer to help them with that. No one has ever responded negatively and I have actually been able to spank a number of the women. It makes me wonder, if they also can sense that there is a person who shares their interest, and either subconsciously or intentionally proceed to say or do something that will make me aware of it. However it's happening, it does work for making that connection!
    2 points
  31. Hi, Chawsee I trust that you are well and happy. I love your strict yet loving energy. You are a first-class lady! As for me, I’m talking with my wife lately about returning to regular maintenance spankings. I mentioned to her respectfully that I feel that I am not spending enough time over her knee. I miss it. She appreciated my forthright sharing and promised to give the subject some serious thought. I’m grateful to my wife for saying that. I’m a much better behaved man when I am held accountable by her regularly in that old-fashioned way.
    2 points
  32. Lol you got a twofer?! Something tells me you still didn't write learn your lesson and your mouth will do it again. 😬. I am very much in this camp.
    2 points
  33. Stress Relief Spankings Spankos mention them often, but what does a stress relief spanking look like to you? How does it differ from other types of spanking? Is it just that the intent is different or is there something else? Work has been increasingly stressful (for a couple of years lol) and my fitness training schedule has been tiring (but also necessary and a sress reliever). Like everyone else, stress compounds - whether it stems from family / friends, personal, work, whatever - until we reach a breaking point or find relief.
    2 points
  34. I am humbled and honored, Ammon. That is more generous than I deserve. Thank you. Indeed, you've been on the receiving end of my saddle strap once and my wooden paddles several times. It's true-- I do sometimes miss a post in which someone addresses me, though I try not to, and I apologize when that does happen. The time I can devote to SN is limited, so when I log on, I'm in kind of a rush to cover a lot of ground in a small block of time.
    2 points
  35. Whoa! I'd have to agree with you. I would be most interested in topping this one. Where has he been hiding? I've never seen this guy before.
    2 points
  36. 2 points
  37. There is only one celebrity I have ever thought of as far as a spanking partner. Richard Gere. There is just something commanding. He can be smiling one minute and look so firm and commanding the next. I think he'd be a great spanker. No preference as to implements.
    2 points
  38. Hope you’ve gotten some rest. I’d hate to think anyone would interrupt your precious sleep! 😴😠😜 Mmhmm, that’s a paddlin’ 😭
    2 points
  39. For me, as a spankeeeee, i'd choose, if i may be so bold, our most celebrated Spanker...Ms. Chawsee! With paddles, and wide, leather straps... ...apologies to the guilty celebrity!
    2 points
  40. It's been a mix of a few things. We pay a good amount for SN a month in hosting; but we do use a shared hosting service and believe our server on their host might not be throttling correctly enough and not delivering on what we are paying for. If we needed to upgrade to a higher tier - we would. The chat software we used stopped doing releases last year and our forum themes were a bit laggy. So we're trying to improve all of those.
    2 points
  41. I actually completely agree with @CaliSpanker53 on this subject especially when it comes down to the disrespect within the community aspect. I’ve been an active member of spanking fetish community for a really long time, I was 3 days past my 18th birthday the day I screwed up and outed myself in -spectacular- fashion. Spankos don’t go to munches, we go to parties. Big difference. Every year I have gone to one it always ends up the same too. You will have a younger significantly inexperienced person that thinks a persons title in the community is based on their own social norms/ what they are attracted to and why, anyone that doesn’t fit within their scope isn’t a top etc, almost to the point that they will successfully piss off every single person in the ballroom/hotel. It never ends well for them. Ever. sooner or later they start parading around smirking laughing carrying on like it’s nobody’s business. Sooner or later it ends up escalating too, last time it was a 20 something female vs Michael from real spankings network. Too bad she didn’t do her due diligence and know who she was toying with. This happens every day. Male switches that have a knack for catching from a female are judged by the same tokens. There viewed as being submissive, less manly, waste of space. I’ve heard them all. some of my best friends, are in fact switches. I personally have nothing but respect for switches etc. I’m not capable mentally of placing myself in that position, I can’t do it, not happenin. but I will always back up as well as stand in there corner of the ring no questions asked. Do you know why? Cuz we are indeed the Spankos, we’re the largest fetish in the history of human civilization. We get enough shit as it is, treat fellow community members with the respect they deserve and I can guarantee you will get it back tenfold on a dollars day.
    2 points
  42. Thank you all for such thoughtful responses. I am reading you all to say that achieving tears either as spanker or spankee should never be an intentional goal...and I guess that is the case with my husband and I. If that happens...well then it does. I just know that the "release", or the more fancy word you much smarter ones use..." catharsis"...is something special to me...to "us" really. My husband tells me when I have those times of free flowing tears and sobbing...he feels very very close to me and feels like he shares the emotions I am expressing thru my crying. Often he cries with me. And I feel especially very very close to him as I cry into his chest or onto his shoulder or lap... or he kisses me while I cry things out and strokes my hair...cups my sore bottom in his hands. I know we all have concerns that perhaps crying is an indication of abuse, but we all cry for various reasons...not just physical or emotional pain...many of which you have mentioned in your insightful comments. We can cry for joy...for hurt...for love...for regret...for loss...for healing and release from guilt. I think when I find myself caught up in the emotions of our disciplinary relationship...for me my crying is perhaps a mix of all those emotions...and maybe some others I do not consciously even recognize. So...for me crying is not an indication of abuse brought on me. But...I realize this is largely due to the fact I trust my husband completely to understand my needs....avtrust he has earned and proven out. When I first started crying in after spankings....and for a couple years after that, Husband would always stop the spanking shortly after I started crying. I began to feel kind of cheated that he stopped....like I was on the verge of something important, and then never got there. Kind of like when one is brought close to orgasm, and then never actually explodes into one. I know...as I already told you...I am a nut case! So...after many experiences of crying being the end of the spanking....I asked...no...begged for him to continue spanking me "while" I cried...for as long as he deemed necessary for the discipline.....not to be deterred by my tears as as a signal the punishment was sufficient. He was reluctant I think because he thought it was abuse on me....harmful instead of loving. Well...I can tell,you...when he finally did start actually spanking me "while" I was crying...to the full culmination of the discipline earned and deserved.....we reached a whole new level of intimacy and healing. I cannot really describe it. And...maybe should not really say this here....but I have had many actual sexual orgasms actually while bawling my eyes out....sobbing....heaving sobs....my hind end still being scorched and stinging from continued belt or paddle or whip strokes...or his hand. Like the tears, the orgasms are not the "goal", but a gift of the intimate relationship we have grown together in our dynamic. I become a real, blubbering mess, but I guess a perfect mess... lol. Yes...I am a crazy person. I wonder if maybe I am a pain slut, as I have heard the term. I know this type of thing is not for everybody...and rightfully so. Our dynamic is admittedly intense albeit agreed upon by me and my husband. We have actually tried to back off intensity...mostly at my husband's request....but thus far we both have always found the lesser intensity...is just not fulfilling....for us...at least not at this point in our journey together. I think the last few years I maybe have cried 40 percent or so of the spankings I get. Just a guess. I honestly benefit every time Husband disciplines me, but...for me...I think when my tears flow I not only benefit to grow and improve my future...I also experience some healing of my past...which I admit was a real mess.
    2 points
  43. Happy Birthday to my late mother who would have been 79 today. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to visit your gravesite today and place some roses around your marker. The whole family was there. It's hard to believe it has been 8 years since you were called to be an angel. Happy Birthday Mom!...I miss you and love you! Thanks for being a wonderful amazing mother to me and my brothers and a doting grandmother to all your grandchildren!...
    2 points
  44. I was in line checking into a hotel in Vegas when I overheard a Woman beind me tell her husband (I think) ..."Keep talking. I brought the hairbrush." I couldn't stop myself from laughing.
    2 points
  45. I have personally experienced the difference between being spanked without and with an emotional connection. For me there was a huge difference. I met up with a spanker a few times for some mentoring & discipline. I got spanked hard, but I did not shed a tear. He wanted me to cry and I didn't. Needless to say, things ended quickly after that. It just became a beating and I tuned out. with my husband however there is a strong emotional connection. I am secure in his love and care for me. His disappointment in my actions or his scolding words can make me already super emotional or on the edge and I will definitely be crying when he spanks me. Am I chasing after the tears? Not necessarily, some sessions are so intense that the sobbing and tears really drain me and then I really need the aftercare and reassurance. I will say though I am my own worst enemy when it comes to guilt and perfectionism so crying while my slate becomes clean again is cathartic and helps me let go.
    2 points
  46. It depends entirely upon the chemistry between the two persons. Tears don't come necessarily from physical pain but rather the emotional response to pain when processed by the brain. You can make someone cry just by scolding, having never laid a hand on the person. But you can bruise their butt all day and never get a tear either. This is why I don't engage in 'judicial discipline' because that is supposed to be without emotional connection. Tears come from the heart and soul. If I care enough about the person to spank, then I hope that care connects enough to generate tears, generally from punishment rather than in a discipline context. Tears are desired but not required in most situations of punishment. If I am not getting tears, it may mean that I am not communicating, not connecting, and that has the danger of being causing harm.
    2 points
  47. Crying can be a wonderfully cathartic and healing stage to reach, so it's certainly desirable. But it's the wrong place to put the focus. Crying that comes from severe pain alone has little cathartic benefit. Rather, it has the potential for inducing trauma. Beneficial tears are emotional in nature. They tend to emerge when the EE has deep trust for his/her ER and feels secure and cared for. Therefore, the best place to put the focus is not on "producing tears," but on deepening the trust between spanking partners. When a spankee feels love, security, and acceptance from his/her spanker, and is then given the opportunity to release all the stress, shame, guilt, etc. that they're carrying, this is when tears do their magic.
    2 points
  48. For me, it's very important. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I'm very emotionally sensitive and very modest. A good, stern lecture can have me in tears long before the spanking even starts.
    2 points
  49. I'd be careful about this. I, too, love Jillian Keenan-- and her dom, Dan. She took some big risks coming out to the public about her spanking fetish some years back, and it paid off. But she has a strong business head on her shoulders and the right resources into which to focus her endeavors. You've stated that you're a political activist and community leader, and that you have enemies who would jump at the chance to spread the news that you're a spanko. I think you answered your own question, wouldn't you say? Whether it feels fair or not, it's judicious that we shelter this part of ourselves where appropriate. If you're a public figure, an honorable reputation is important to maintain public respect. There are too many people who simply wouldn't understand, and finding out something about you that felt uncomfortable to them could cause their loss of trust in you. If you're willing to take that chance and allow the chips to fall where they may, that's your prerogative and your right. Just be ready to handle whatever backlash might follow. Just as most individuals (who have class) don't publicly broadcast their sexual behaviors, that same discretion serves us wisely with our spanking lifestyle. I understand the need to share this part of ourselves-- trust me, I do! --so thankfully we can do so here within the spanking community. I have several friends from SN who know my real name, who've seen photos of me, and who email me on a regular basis. A few of those I have also spoken with on the phone, and a couple of them I've met in person for spankings. But this doesn't happen when we begin corresponding. I PM for quite a while before I share my personal info. Eventually the day comes when you just know that someone is the real deal. To me, this level of trust is precious, and it's worth the wait.
    2 points
  50. No, mainly because I enjoy all manner of anal play... so temp-taking would be a fun little addition to the scene.
    2 points
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