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Showing content with the highest reputation since 05/03/21 in all areas

  1. Let's break this down item by item.... "i've been always known to confront people and get my way" = Spoiled? Bully? Sounds like you're overdue for a good spanking. "asking to be spanked is undoubtedly going to change her image of me and quite frankly i have no intention (let's just say it clearly) of being seen as weak" = If you can't be authentic, then what have you got? How much effort are you going to waste on upholding this particular "image" of how you want people to see you? When you reach the point where you're truly secure, you'll embrace who you are and let the chips
    7 points
  2. "Boys will be boys" is a bullshit excuse for bad behavior and lack of self-control.
    6 points
  3. Yes. Intrusive for the nuns. To foist one's spanking interests / needs on anyone else in such a way is intrusive. Intriguing results are hardly a reason to reach out to a sampling of nuns to ask questions about one's kink. Let's not pretend this would be for science and future generations.
    5 points
  4. Bucket list... I'd like to someday find my spanko soul-mate. And if he's truly my soul-mate, he'll (hopefully) be a switch. Though I'm notoriously independent, the older I get, the more I cherish good companionship. I'm not into Hollywood-type fantasies, though. For me, the perfect guy is like a pair of old boots-- really familiar and comfortable.
    5 points
  5. We are a bit different as well. Not married, but we do live together full time in our FLR with DD household. For all household and relationship aspects, she is the HoH and in charge of everything. I am not a slave and thus maintain my own bank accounts and personal property. I have my on real property as well. We do not to the 'mommy and son' concept, but I do submit to her complete authority on all relationship and household concerns. We agreed that punishment would consist of only bare ass spankings. We both drafted the agreement and rules and with the adoption of such, I agreed to a
    5 points
  6. I really don’t think that anyone that isn’t already in the dynamic or that you aren’t intimate with should be subjected to your experiment that is a fetish to you (especially without consent). This may be your desire but to mess with someone on a spiritual level is next step wrong. You are targeting out a group of people for your own satisfaction / desires. You wouldn't want them to disrespect your beliefs (or lack off). Give people the same respect. Lastly, this is a consented adult spanking site. Experimenting on someone for “results” without their consent is a huge issue.
    4 points
  7. I agree with @Chawsee. 1. You sound over due. 2. If you can't be honest and yourself, then what have you got? 3. You can be mostly in control (if it is agreed on in your relation ship) and STILL be spanked. My hubbs spanks me and is in control most of the time. I am actually more dominant, strict, and controlling than he is when I switch. He recognizes this and does not consider me weak at all, even when I am bottoming. The fact is, your GF might have a different mind set. She might be completely freaked out think it means you are gay, or a pervert. Worst case scenario
    4 points
  8. Well the best thing is to level with your girlfriend.Maybe she will give you a spanking and enjoy giving you one. If spanking is that important to you then you should let her know your thoughts. If not you could end up like a lot of men on this forum that want to be spanked and can't find anyone to discipline them. My husband doesn't have that problem because I found out when we were dating, and I compromised being HOH and he gets his well deserved spankings from me. Ms L
    4 points
  9. And that's the way it's done!!! EEs working together!
    4 points
  10. I have been wondering lately whether this type of "Mommy/Son" marital dynamic also includes nurturing and the softer side of parental relationships (support, affection, positive reinforcement rather than constant threat of punishment) as well as the punitive parenting style and near-total power exchange that is frequently discussed. I understand that everyone has a dynamic they feel comfortable with, but am genuinely curious about the balance. I know from being this field that people who grow up with a stern, punitive parent without the counter-balance of love and nurturing often struggle long
    4 points
  11. You specified husbands or boyfriends and I’m neither. My ER and I have a spanking partnership without the dating-romance aspect, but for what it’s worth, no, she is not the boss or head of our relationship, nor has she ever tried to be. I am treated as an equal, as a man, not a child. The only time I’m made to feel childish is when I have to drop my pants and take my place over her lap, but this is for infractions I’ve committed that we agreed on together that I wouldn’t commit, or if I get mouthy, as sometimes happens. 😬 She helps me where I’ve asked for her help (like the way I interact
    4 points
  12. Find a known adult spanker who’ll dress up as a nun for you. Don’t humiliate people with deep religious convictions. Edit by admin: We don’t promote hiring for your needs on SN.
    3 points
  13. The experiment seems unnecessary and intrusive.
    3 points
  14. When my wife decides to spank me, I get spanked in whatever I'm wearing and it doesn't make much difference to me. In any case my bottom will be bare when I go over her knee. Usually this means pants and underpants around my ankles, but on occasion I've gone over her knee wearing just a bathrobe, and had the hem dragged up to expose my bare bottom for the paddle.
    3 points
  15. One of my Aunts sent me a photo a few days ago of her with her dog. She can be a bit intimidating at times but her bark is worse than her bite.... The dogs pretty vicious as well !
    3 points
  16. I understand why this concerns you. It is a risk. You aren't going to get an answer that gives you certainty before you act, but maybe you can hedge your bets a little. You describe yourself as a socially dominant guy, assertive, maybe aggressive, OK. Is that what attracts your girlfriend? If so, then in your shoes I'd be disinclined to share that part of myself. If it's a part of your personality that she accepts but isn't particularly impressed by, then just the opposite. I'd also start making occasional light-hearted comments somewhat complimentary about pushy, demanding, bossy, bitchy wome
    3 points
  17. I can relate to this young man's dilemma. I'm also a big, strong, outgoing person with a fairly dominant personality. I'm also a lifelong switch, but it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I really embraced the -ee side of me. Partly because I was afraid of what a partner might think, but also because of how I viewed myself. It seems ridiculous now, one's role in a spanking relationship says nothing about strength or weakness. Except, perhaps, it speaks of strength when you're willing to live your true live, and be your real self. It's not easy, for sure, but it's the brave, strong, and right th
    3 points
  18. I don't do this. I don't think I have ever done this. I might rub, but I don't dance around. I have certainly never had a Top request it (and I wouldn't dance around at the Top's request because it feels too contrived).
    3 points
  19. I wasn't referring to the consensual dynamics. I was talking about the society's pressure on any individual , irrespective of gender, to be in a certain way which is deemed as "acceptable" traits with respect to that gender. I believe imposing any kind of pressure on anyone to be traditionally masculine or feminine is toxic. Also, "traditional gender roles" essentially boil down to the fact that many women were oppressed and were forced to take up the docile role, serving in the kitchen, taking care of the family etc. Just because it has been passed on from generation to generation doe
    3 points
  20. I favor OTK on a bed. The spankee's weight is evenly distributed and his torso fully supported, instead of having to hold himself up with his arms, as is the case when being spanked from a straight-backed chair. And something about it just feels more close and comforting, at least to me. If the ER sits with their back against the headboard and legs straight out on the bed, the EE can lie over the spanker's full lap. Heavenly! When spanking someone from a chair, I make certain that my lap is level with the floor. Nothing is more unnerving to a spankee than feeling like he's going to topple
    3 points
  21. The traditional stereotypical masculinity is absolutely toxic for everyone of us. Every individual is different. He /she should not be subjected to any judgments based on the gender. If a significant other does come to that sort of judgment, then it just shows their lack of maturity. A lot of movies have portrayed masculinity in such a way that anything less than a toned set of abs and bulging biceps and broad shoulders will not be tolerated. Is that masculinity? No. If you are brave enough to stand up for your significant other in times of stress, if you can be independent, take care
    3 points
  22. You're right in a sense that some women do not like to see their man in any way submissive. They want their man to be tough, in charge, dominant , etc. and then suddenly to see them in a submissive light could cause them some severe cognitive dissonance and confusion. You have to gauge whether your SO fits this sort of framework before letting her see you completely submissive. Then it's up to you if her negative reaction is something you're willing to tolerate in a relationship.
    3 points
  23. In my profession, I am one who holds the things people hold most dear in his hands on a daily basis. I have a normally dominant personality, which is kind of required in my line of work, but there's a part of me that wants to step down from that for short spans of time and let someone else be in control, as long as it's someone I trust and who cares for me. I don't consider it weak. If anything, I would consider it empowering to take ownership of my mistakes by paying for them. And if it's purely erotic, then it's just what gets you off. It's not a sign of power or weakness. It's just your kin
    3 points
  24. Happy Cinco de Mayo Everyone! Be safe & have a shot of tequila for me! 😉 Or is that I’ll have a shot of tequila for you! 🤣
    3 points
  25. It's not just bad behaviour though. If a guy does it, then it's simply not ok. It's disrespectful to their partner, and will make the woman/women he's looking at feel uncomfortable, and maybe even scared. Why on earth would any self respecting woman, ER or otherwise, stay with a guy who behaves like that? I think you need to separate the spanking lifestyle from actual humans in relationships, and see that it is just simply horrific behaviour. I actually think any woman who sticks with a guy who does that kind of thing is just weak. They need to look in the mirror and ask themselves
    3 points
  26. Excellent sentiment. And I'm glad you put some emphasis on the 'snug grip' cause I've always found that endearing, in R/L, photos, videos, etc., that hold is just sort of symbolic of all the psychological/mental aspects of our little kink. Good stuff.
    3 points
  27. Ah, OTK. Such a versatile position. I like all of the variations, but my favorite is probably over one knee. Just something about it and it has everything to do with how beautifully it frames the bottom. Lovely views, of course, but also this allows for a more efficient swing for the Spanker. Being right-handed, I'm able to give that left globe some much needed attention.
    3 points
  28. Going to a big spanko party event like Lonestar or something like that. Going to a small spanko party event. Going to or even hosting a spanko weekend or vacation. Bottoming for a TIH moment with consenting witnesses. (Hello spank vacation) Topping a TIH moment with consenting witnesses. And, cus I'm not greedy at all, I want to top and bottom EVERY impliment and thing that can be used lol. (Is it greedy or curiosity?) @rubyredd... If you ever make it to RI I could oblige you. ☺ Also, I just realized if you added a second b to your name.you would be RUBBYredd
    3 points
  29. 3 points
  30. I think it's normal for men and women both to look at someone and think "she's pretty or he's handsome." Nothing wrong with that. Human nature. There is a difference in just looking and being a creep. I can't stand to have a man stare at me, smile at me for a long period, wink at me or brush me as he goes by. I find that creepy. I would also find it creepy if my boyfriend did this while with me. As Maryjo said, it makes us very uncomfortable!! Appreciating beauty is one thing, but being a leering , creepy dirt bag is quite another!! Actually, this reminds me of the happenings on
    3 points
  31. I can only remember my Boyfriend making me count a couple of times. This is something that would be up to him. If told, I'd do it. Having to thank him and request another after every swat would feel too scripted to me. It would remind me of the scripted videos I have watched and hated. I've never been into rituals during spanking. Mine vary depending on my boyfriends mood, what I am being punished for, where we are at, etc. Like many others, it would take me out of my headspace. I would be focusing on the count and not the reason for the spanking. my feelings at the moment, etc. Also
    3 points
  32. Nope, no counting here. I think the whole “Thank you Sir/Ma’am, may I have another?” is so dumb that I wouldn’t choose an ER who demanded something like that. Good grief.
    3 points
  33. As many of you are aware, the Spanking Needs Lounge (SNL) went mobile in order to serve all the different locations that spankos on spankingneeds.com are found. I spotted the truck on the road this morning doing its rounds. Looks like it make a pick-up and things were getting hairy, because the truck was listing to the side a bit. Calm down, guys! Don't want an accident! That would be so embarrassing.
    3 points
  34. There is a difference between "appreciating the artwork" and leering. Hubbs and I both "appreciate the artwork". That is, seeing someone who is attractive, and recognizing that they are attractive. Neither of us stare or drool or start airhumping. I do not relationship with Leer-ers. Now, this does set itself up for a decent role play scenario. If you have a friend that is an exhibitionist and LIKES that attention then you work it out in advance that you are going to be leering and getting paddled for it.
    3 points
  35. I'm probably the only oddball in the bunch. Instead of wanting more implements, I want fewer. When I had a decent-sized collection, many were similar enough that they were essentially duplicates of one other. So it was more pieces than necessary to clean, oil, maintain, and store. I parted with 30+ implements in the past year alone, and all of them were high-end. I admit, my never-ending quest to find that even better paddle or strap is an obsession and not a wise use of my finances. I have berated myself a great deal for that. I currently own five wooden paddles, a leather paddle, and two s
    3 points
  36. Yes I do have several and most involved my best girlfriend who is very dominant and taught me how to be the ruler of my marriage. For my husband 49 birthday my girlfriend and her daughter came to celebrate his birthday and he got more than he bargained for. He got a regular hand spanking from my girlfriend daughter for misbehaving and 49 swats over my girlfriend and my knee with jokari paddles simultaneously. But their have been many since then when my husband has had to face the music. I plan on writing what happened today under writings concerning my husband conduct for the past week. Ms L
    3 points
  37. I think it's more about how it is likely to be seen by others. Is there a potential for its exposure to result in bearing a mild stigma? Stigma is a strong word, even after qualifying it as mild, but yeah there could be a social cost. And the more immature and simplistic one's social circle, the higher the risk. I also think most people, if not the overwhelming majority, would see it as a submissive act. An important question here is whether the audience is likely to interpret the desire to take a submissive role as meaning they are submissive on some deeper level, or alternately, whether
    2 points
  38. "Sparky?" As in the fire prevention dog?
    2 points
  39. The questions I never got (real) answers to . . . It always seemed to me that if you are physically and intentionally hurting someone in the name of actual “discipline,” you should have some idea of the nature and extent of the physical, psychological, and emotional distress you want them to experience. I have yet to get anything other than a glib response from ERs about this. So, I had a punishment spanking from a pro several years ago. Beforehand she had me watch a video that her then-boyfriend thought was representative of what she did to her him. It was horrible. A woman who
    2 points
  40. For me casual glance no harm no fowl, perhaps a quick involuntary glance, for instance just recognizing some one is there. Beyond that out right ogling very inappropriate and disrespectful.
    2 points
  41. I'm not sure how "Let's get the conversation back on topic please" is barking orders. I would consider it to be more of a gentle nudge. Two of the four site moderators are dealing with health issues right now. We are not always going to be around. We do the best we can.
    2 points
  42. The big and only real goal on my bucket list is getting another session with@Chawsee. Feels like it’s never going to happen again. 😒
    2 points
  43. Well, I have exceeded my max number of reactions today... but I love and appreciate all of the responses. I am slowly becoming more outgoing and outspoken in my spank-goal and hoping to meet with a willing Toppe (female Top? No? Lol). @MeanMachine- I definitely share those fantasies (maybe not MY mother, though). I have been spanked along with one other bottom and it was fun. @Jaded- I imagine a remote area would be better for both parties! @Nightowl08- public swats are great! @Zhal- I have done all but the last one on your list. Lol @Megthe- I imagine a span
    2 points
  44. Didn’t judge the people. Judged the act and stated that I wouldn’t choose a spanking partner who requested this act.
    2 points
  45. My point does not change. You carefully chose your wording specifically to evoke these types of responses. You continue to, on a site unrelated to politics, because you enjoy trolling. You feel superior, so you want to blame the failings of your former president on others. Rhetoric like yours and your former president's has led to violence in the streets against those of Asian descent. Very definition of racism. Also, objects are oriental, people are Asian.
    2 points
  46. You chose your wording specifically to evoke this type of reaction. If you are going post, you have to expect both positive and negative reactions to your post. You only want to hear people agree with you. You intentionally used a racist term and people are calling you out for it.
    2 points
  47. I knew texting and driving was an offense that my disciplinarian took very seriously, but I did it anyway. Maybe a part of me wondered if she would really follow through. She did. 😥
    2 points
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