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  1. Excellent, AG! I agree.
    12 points
  2. Your stories about this are delightful, Gary. Thanks for sharing, and inspiring us. I've never met your wife, but I like her already. I believe a lot more men would benefit from discipline like this, if done with caring.
    7 points
  3. Well there are people who suffer from low esteem who don't engage in those behaviors. And also , you don't know what they have gone thru in their lives. You haven't walked in their shoes. I would show a little empathy, and perhaps a little gratitude for having such a privileged life where low self-esteem was never an issue for you.
    7 points
  4. Hi Guys, How is everyone? Are you having a challenge you'd like to talk about? A question, maybe? Comments? Please chime in and share with us an update. Male spankees are a special class of men, and I'd like to hear how each of you is doing. Kindly, Chawsee
    6 points
  5. I'd be careful about this. I, too, love Jillian Keenan-- and her dom, Dan. She took some big risks coming out to the public about her spanking fetish some years back, and it paid off. But she has a strong business head on her shoulders and the right resources into which to focus her endeavors. You've stated that you're a political activist and community leader, and that you have enemies who would jump at the chance to spread the news that you're a spanko. I think you answered your own question, wouldn't you say? Whether it feels fair or not, it's judicious that we shelter this part of ourselves where appropriate. If you're a public figure, an honorable reputation is important to maintain public respect. There are too many people who simply wouldn't understand, and finding out something about you that felt uncomfortable to them could cause their loss of trust in you. If you're willing to take that chance and allow the chips to fall where they may, that's your prerogative and your right. Just be ready to handle whatever backlash might follow. Just as most individuals (who have class) don't publicly broadcast their sexual behaviors, that same discretion serves us wisely with our spanking lifestyle. I understand the need to share this part of ourselves-- trust me, I do! --so thankfully we can do so here within the spanking community. I have several friends from SN who know my real name, who've seen photos of me, and who email me on a regular basis. A few of those I have also spoken with on the phone, and a couple of them I've met in person for spankings. But this doesn't happen when we begin corresponding. I PM for quite a while before I share my personal info. Eventually the day comes when you just know that someone is the real deal. To me, this level of trust is precious, and it's worth the wait.
    6 points
  6. Hello my name is Heather aka CanadianGal! I decided top finally join as my husband has become more active here and sure sounded exciting. 57 year old married gal that is a life long spanko and luckily so is my hubby. We both grew up in the spanking era so likely has something to do with it. I am primarily a spankee but have also given a few. My favourites usually involve a role play and a classic old fashion OTK spanking with hand or back of a hairbrush - "yikes my mothers"!! I am very much into fitness and yoga and 5'9". Looking forward to connecting and chatting with other spankos! 🥰
    6 points
  7. Ok...finally...I finished editing and relettering chapter 3 It took a long time because I did alot of painting and color fixing in photoshop...and I was really busy at my job...and I've been kind of depressed lately with the pandemic and all...but I did finish it anyway!! This is one of my favorite chapters...it has some of my funniest memories...and I think I captured how awkward I was at 11 and 12...first getting interested in boys but having NO idea how to act around them...and trying to deal with my spanking fetish on top of that...it gets into some heavier stuff near the end...and then ends with a deep discovery... And there's some other good stuff...the famous Drooaygah wrote a foreword!! You can see all the updates on my website http://ruderumps.byethost7.com
    6 points
  8. Yes, they can change behavior and help us to mature. WE always think we are mature--full grown and making wise choices. (NOT)! It's always hard to self analysis ourselves correctly.My mother never knew my husband spanked me. But after several years of marriage my Mother said this: "Jelena, marriage has been very good for you, you have become a surprising wonderful woman." My Mother didn't like my husband while dating and at the time of the wedding -- but she grew to like him- she knew he was good for me. She never knew, how much he spanked as young bride. For example, I was no longer lazy, I didn't come into her house as a guest - to lop down and talk. I came in wanting to help her in what ever needed doing, Just seeing it and doing it (not being asked) just doing it. Always looking for ways to help her out and being a lot more respect to her. Not questioning her like I once did.
    6 points
  9. Wow! And you are a spanker? A spanker without empathy, uh? That's scary. No one wants you to fix their life for them. Low self esteem may be a result of how the society has treated an individual, or it could be because of the feeling of being neglected, or being put in a state of constant comparison with their fellow peers etc. The sheer lack of empathy and humanity in your post is appalling. Having plenty of cats around is a highly preferable alternative to having someone with utter neglect and indifference to one's feeling.
    6 points
  10. Wow I feel so sorry for you no compassion in your life at all. I hope I have the strength of character to help and support people who may need it. Life has the ability to turn on you when you least expect it and being strong for others pays dividends when you need it yourself. You get out of life what you put in and sometimes helping others reaps its dividends.
    6 points
  11. As Chawsee said, the focus of a spanking should never be tears. Some of us just can't cry. I don't cry easily. I have a high pain tolerance so a spanking alone isn't going to bring me to tears. I need the emotional part of it to cry. He spanks me out of love. I need him to talk to me during the spanking. I need to be able to feel his disappointment if I am being punished. He stops spanking and asks me questions. It allows me to release the guilt and the built up emotions. During a stress relief or just because spanking I need him to talk to me. I want him to tell me to let go. I cry when he hits the emotional button. Sometimes it's a few tears sliding down my face, sometimes it's sobbing. I'm not disappointed if I can't cry, but I'll admit I wish I could cry, during a spanking. more often. The catharsis, the purging of emotions, is amazing and feels so good.
    5 points
  12. I've had a few encounters over the years. The most recent happened a couple of weeks ago. My adult son (who knows about my lifestyle) and I were walking our Wolf/Husky on a local trail. As we were crossing a bridge a couple came towards us. The woman was holding a switch, cleaned of leaves, etc. She was walking and looking at the ground. She wouldn't make eye contact with us. The man was walking behind her also holding a cleaned switch. He smiled , gave us a loud "Hi, How are you?" and flicked his switch. I laughed and said "Hi" as we walked by. Watching them gave me that spanko vibe. I told my son, "See I'm not the only weird one!!" He just laughed. The flicking of the guy's switch made me shiver. I felt a little sorry for the woman because I know what a switch feels like!!
    5 points
  13. Crying can be a wonderfully cathartic and healing stage to reach, so it's certainly desirable. But it's the wrong place to put the focus. Crying that comes from severe pain alone has little cathartic benefit. Rather, it has the potential for inducing trauma. Beneficial tears are emotional in nature. They tend to emerge when the EE has deep trust for his/her ER and feels secure and cared for. Therefore, the best place to put the focus is not on "producing tears," but on deepening the trust between spanking partners. When a spankee feels love, security, and acceptance from his/her spanker, and is then given the opportunity to release all the stress, shame, guilt, etc. that they're carrying, this is when tears do their magic.
    5 points
  14. For me, the Top's scolding technique has to be on-point, or it won't work for me at all. Scolding is what puts me in the appropriate headspace. I like it when a Disciplinary partner is consistent, calm, stern when necessary (and only when necessary - otherwise, be fun), and creative. Spanking, for me, is about being cared about - more than just simply spanking me when I break rules. The Top is showing me he or she cares enough about me to correct certain behaviors or to prevent others from recurring. The Disciplinarian wants me to meet my goals and to improve - through consistent discipline (not just spanking). Sometimes, a harsher punishment is necessary, but this should not be needed often. Here are some things that can wreck a discipline session for me. Other people want some of these things included, so it really depends on the person being disciplined. • Humiliation / Degradation - these techniques have no part in spanking to me because I equate spanking with caring. There is nothing caring to me about someone attempting to degrade me. • Insults - don't put me down; a good disciplinarian, IMO, should encourage and uplift through his/her discipline. Yes, I am being punished, but name-calling or insults have no part to play and I will simply walk out the door. • Getting Carried Away - the punishment should fit the crime and not be unduly harsh all the time. There are some behaviors that will ruin almost any spanking for me whether roleplay / fun or discipline: mocking sarcasm and slut-shaming (won't even watch it in videos). I want a disciplinary partner to also be a friend I can talk to and feel comfortable with. Some spankees prefer a more clinical approach. If you are ever in chat and want to discuss, feel free to message me.
    5 points
  15. What Bramblewine said is really close to my experiences... I think where it all comes from is pretty complicated...and probably kind of different for everybody...I've thought about it FOREVER...so much I wrote a whole graphic novel about it But even after all that...I still don't really know... I do think most of it I was born with...I have movies about spanky fantasies going back to when I must've been about 3...and I'm pretty sure it's before I ever got spanked... Like Bramblewine I did get spanked as a child...but it was quick (usually like 6 or so smacks)...and almost never bare bottom or with implements...and I HATED it...part of it was because I had to wait...which was kind of psychological torture...and another part of it was my dad did the spanking and we were really close...so that felt awful...kind of a betrayal on both sides...and also it hurt...I mean it wasn't abusive or anything but it was meant to hurt and it did... My fantasies were totally different...the spankings went on and on...there were implements...and my stories were really elaborate with all sorts of characters and different kinds of spankings...sometimes even fun ones...not like the real ones I got... But I don't think my fetish has NOTHING to do with my childhood experiences either...there are details that got incorporated my fantasies and influence things...especially my ageplay fantasies... Like certain phrases about spanking that excite me that I heard when I was a child...or the buildup to a spanking and having to wait while being scolded...I like that VERY much...and getting spanked on my panties first is a big turn-on too...which is how I was almost always spanked as a child... The other thing though is new experiences with adult spanking or things I read or see also get incorporated into my fantasies...so it's not like it's only childhood stuff and I'm stuck there...it's more like things get added and layered on for me...but the childhood aspects always stay there and have a strong power for me... So like everything about being a spanko...it's complicated
    5 points
  16. I'd have to say my ability to feel and deal with emotions. Due to ptsd, I spent a good chunk of my life "shutting down", and was a wound up ball of tension, locked up in a box. I never felt like I could truly be vulnerable and allow myself to cry, and let go, and just didn't know how to deal with my own self. My first spanking as an adult, let loose the floodgates, and it allowed me to cry and let go, and feel "safe" to do so... When my ptsd and anxiety were at their worst, during my 1st marriage, my husband would usually be able to sense me shutting down, or going into some kind of "mode" and picked up pretty quickly that a spanking would always help. If I felt out of control, if I felt scared, if I felt beside myself and unsure how to calm down.... A spanking was always the one "safe" thing that allowed me to cry out all of the feels... and I'd always feel more calm and controlled after, which helped me realize that things were still okay. All was well. And cutting. It was spanking that actually broke me of that habit. Not only due to the spankings I would receive afterward leaving quite the impression on me... But the fact spanking also served as a healthier alternative. I learned it was a lot better to ask for a spanking, to help me cry out all of the emotions that would build up and lead to cutting, before it got to that point. With the help of spanking, I was able to find better alternatives and ways to cope. Of course I did have therapy during all of this time, and was seeking professional help and had built up quite the support system... But behind the scenes, I think spanking was making a huge difference. And on a final note, I'd have to say my ability to move forward and "adult" in general... due to ptsd that I had struggled with for years, I felt "stuck" in childhood, and felt like I Couldn't move forward from that point, and spanking and discipline provided the structure I needed, to feel "safe" enough to actually learn, and take steps forward... I didn't always have that... Fight, flight or freeze... I was a freezer, and I felt frozen for many years.
    5 points
  17. I've never been spanked yet. But with whatever little conversations and exposure I've had in this forum, I feel it has certainly improved my empathy towards others. This site has enabled me to learn a lot more about this activity without actually participating in it. I read various stories of how people developed this need, or what this need means to them , and while I may not necessarily identify with all of them, It acts as an eye opener that there are different people in this world and how it's important to respect each of their needs even if we don't "get" them. While empathy is an area of improvement for me, I can't say this spanking need of mine has been entirely positive either. I've spent enormous amount of time browsing through spanking forums, reading spanking stories or watching videos, which could have been no doubt spent doing something else which could have reflected more productively on my academic life. But there was a lesson to learn from it as well. As with any activity, irrespective of how important it is to us, it is imperative to find a proper balance. I learnt the power of self control through the consequences of my over indulgence in spanking related activity. I'm sure there are more to learn down the road and I'm looking forward to it.
    5 points
  18. This is a really disturbing way of speaking of someone and frankly says more to be about you than the person you speak of. No matter what she did or didn't do, your rant makes you appear cold and entirely devoid of empathy. Many many many people suffer from low self-esteem. To state that "people like that need to be alone their entire miserable lives"? Wow. I am sorry, ChicagoLady, that he chose this as a place to air whatever issues transpired between you. You have my respect for taking ownership of whatever part you feel responsible for. But this is NOT normal by any stretch. Don't ever settle for a belittler and someone who chooses to blame you entirely for any relationship issues. That is the very last thing you need if you are already trying to heal.
    5 points
  19. "with plenty of cats around" sounds like a good way of life to me!
    5 points
  20. What do you think about being more real in online communities? If you do use your real name/face here, how do you navigate your IRL reputation potentially being at risk? (Is it actually at risk or is that just a fear of mine?) Jillian Keenan, (love her!) made a really good video where she addresses humanizing yourself in spanko communities. Personally, I don't have a problem with being open about my sexuality and would use my real name and face here, HOWEVER...I am a political activist and community leader and I have enemies who would jump at the chance to spread the news that I'm a Spanko and try to make me look like a pervert to all the conservatives who follow and support my political efforts. Which makes me angry knowing it would be viewed that way, but it is what it is. That is really the only reason I'm not more real on here even though I might prefer to be.
    4 points
  21. I would like to offer my thanks for all the hard work that is going in to sorting the site out. Yes its frustrating yes its inconvenient but we can live with it to get this great site back up and running again. Please be patient and remember how much you enjoy the site
    4 points
  22. Moderators are free to express how they feel. There is a feedback section for a reason. I understand that its frustrating the site isn't working properly (trust me; it's not as simple as what we've put out; and it's been stressful for myself and @Mystery Man) - but we are doing the best we can given the situation.
    4 points
  23. Admin is aware of the problems. There is no need to come back every few days and complain. The problems aren't their fault. As stated, it's the server and software company. It's not an easy fix and they are doing their best. It's being worked on daily. This site is offered to everyone for free. It's ad free. There is no one locking out members and asking for money every couple of months, which is happening on other sites. Admin offers this site so we have a place to share and talk about TTWD. No one is entitled to this site. Saying "We've all put up with it" is a slap in the face to those offering this site.
    4 points
  24. I'm glad you brought this up!! I read Jillian's book and really liked it and have watched some of her videos...I think she's really brave for coming out like she has...but I also feel like she kind of lives in a different world from me...and so I can't really relate to some of her ideas... I've gotten this from some people on here too who seem to live fulltime spanko lifestyles...which I find fascinating and like to hear about...but is so different from my experiences... I have some really conservative relatives...old friends...even my current bf who isn't conservative but he's a vanilla and really doesn't understand the whole spanko thing very well... Also at my job they told me they pay a company to check internet and social media stuff when they hire you...and I'd be kind of worried about them seeing all about my spanko stuff... I've gotten some really negative reactions to my art...even from other spankos...because it deals with my childhood memories or fantasies of my Little persona...I think that stuff is really hard for some people to understand and I don't think everyone's going to just be accepting of it...maybe someday...but not in the world right now... It's funny because I've shared some of the most intimate things about myself on here...stuff I NEVER told anyone in 'real life' and don't know if I will...it's been really therapeutic for me in alot of ways...that's why having a safe place like here is so wonderful...
    4 points
  25. In university I volunteered as a coach at a local swimming club team. One of the girls on the club had a huge meltdown at practice and was veery rude to the coaches. Leaving the pool the mother and daughter were going to the car and the mother approached me. She apologized and said that she does not tolerate that attitude and that "her daughter is going to find sitting difficult". I looked at the girl and her cheeks were blushing!!
    4 points
  26. Yes! Last weekend I was telling a spanko friend about this encounter... I work outdoors and am on my feet much of the day, so Sunday evening I went to REI to buy a new pair of Oboz (hiking shoes) to replace the worn pair that I'd been wearing. Directly ahead of me in the checkout line was a middle-aged couple, a few years older than me. The woman was holding a MEN'S leather belt. Normally I wouldn't have given this even a passing thought, but the way she was holding it immediately caught my attention. It wasn't the way of a vanilla person. She had the belt doubled over and was grasping the ends of it, as one does when they're about to administer a spanking. After about a minute, she began slapping the palm of her left hand with it. About another minute later, she quit slapping her left palm and dropped her right hand down at her side, still grasping the belt like an implement. She never once changed from this position. When the couple finally reached the cashier, the woman laid the belt on the counter and reached into her purse to dig out her payment card. The husband (I saw his wedding band) stood very close to her while she handled the transaction. Then he leaned into her even more, his hip touching hers, which brought him even physically closer to her than he'd already been. Perhaps they were newlyweds, still in the throes of budding love, or one of those rare married couples who has maintained their physical affection for one another. But my suspicion is that they were a spanko couple, and that he was submissive to her. I had a calm, certain sense of it. I just felt it. I wanted to say something kind to them, since I can walk up to pretty much anyone and chat it up like I've always known them. But truthfully, I didn't know what to say this time, as I wanted to acknowledge that we shared this "thing" in common, yet I didn't want to embarrass them or put them on the spot. So I watched them with admiration, but said nothing.
    4 points
  27. For me, it's very important. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, I'm very emotionally sensitive and very modest. A good, stern lecture can have me in tears long before the spanking even starts.
    4 points
  28. Happy Memorial Day Everyone.
    4 points
  29. My heart goes out to you honey. I have never been in your shoes and probably have nothing to offer you dear soul. I know this probably sounds weird here, but I will,pray for you and suggest you may too, if that is something in your faith. Its important tomyou and your marriage, and God knows your needs sweetie. I personally think you should continue the conversation...reinforcing how much this is a "need" versus just a want. And...maybe suggestbbaby steps...gradually working up in intensity. Maybe funishment at first....gradually moving into more disciplinary framework....reward him dexually for every move he makes your way...show him the tangible benefits he too can enjoy by doing this..I dunno..specifiic ways he can get better oral...or outside thembedroom...a cleaner house...better cooking. All that...you would know best for your man..He needs to experience that spanking you brings betternthings in your overall relationship...including sex but not limited to,that..Just my opinion. I have no right to intrude...but my heart is breaking for you because innow understand how much it is an actual "need" for most of us here. I send you a hug and my prayers....
    4 points
  30. Please be careful in this thread and do not bring up minors. Your personal past experiences are fine, but the mention of minors, your children, other's children, etc is not allowed. Minors and Children You must be above the age of 18 (or 21 in some locations) to access this site. Any minors that access the site are violating our terms of service and site rules and will be banned. NO EXCEPTIONS. The discussions on this site involve legally consenting adults, that have full legal capacity to consent. In most states and countries this means the age of 18 or older. Please be mindful of the age of consent in your locality. The posting of photographs of minors engaged in a spanking experience is strictly prohibited. The exception of personal experiences and age regressed fictional characters are listed in the Writing, Photographs and Videos section. Promotion or interest shown in minors (persons younger than 18) joining or being part of the spanking lifestyle will not be allowed. This includes discussion of minors being allowed in the lifestyle, accepting or sending friend requests to members that state they are minors, replying to a personal ad in which the member states they are a minor, or stating/ showing interest that you are interested in spanking minors on or off site, etc. Discussion of or seeking feedback on the discipline of minors is not allowed except in the context of age regressed fictional characters.
    4 points
  31. I love the look in a Woman’s eyes as I reach for her hand. The trust she conveys as she makes her way across my waiting lap. The irresistible contour of her form draped there. I love the sigh of contentment as I caress her from her silken hair along the taper of her neck down the arch of her back. I can’t resist the curves of her hips as they rise inviting my touch and the resulting sigh escaping her lips. In a Woman’s gentle movements, I can sense her anticipation rife with expectation of pleasure from an act as sensual as this. I love the subtle reactions the way she turns her head to look back at me exposing the smile across her lips. I love the rush of air she exhales as the intensity begins and the flush of color that appears across the rise each cheek. My heart races with the sound of my hand against the smoothness of her satin skin. The heat against my palm relaying the effects of my attention. I love the way she exhorts me for more with just a lift of her hips. I love the way she relaxes across my lap telling me that there is no place she’d rather be at this moment. I love the way a Woman rest against my chest as I comfort her in the glow of the aftermath…the taste of salt from her gifted tears as I kiss her cheeks. But of all things I love about spanking Women is the way I feel…the joy of connecting in more than ways physical. The understanding that we share a special connection that confirms that this lifestyle that we have chosen is the right one for us and that we share it in a way that leaves us both sated and feeling loved. I had an interesting experience that crystallized this for me. I was playing with a friend of mine after a week of craving some illusive play time. Over the years I have added different dynamics to my play, implements, edge play, sensation play, more sadistic elements...and as we were going through my toy bag and I watched her reactions I couldn't help but notice that our most connected times...where there was no question...the moments we most enjoyed were when she was over my lap and it was simply about the spanking, nothing else. Sometimes I get so caught up trying to stretch and flex to stay up with what I see and hear others doing or talking about that I forget to enjoy and respect what is at my core. In my heart and soul I am a Spanko. And no matter how many toys or new forms of play I may incorporate into my enjoyment of the kink scene...what I do best...what I love is spanking and the feel of a Woman across my lap
    4 points
  32. No we’re not. I’m not open to people who persist with the ridiculous notion that racism doesn’t exist. Conversations like this reveal 2 things - enlightened voices from all races seeking to heal our damaged world and small minded defensiveness trying to conceal their part in it.
    4 points
  33. In my past relationships, I was definitely the only one into spanking, and my partners had definitely never heard of such a thing, beyond maybe the occasional light hearted, all in fun, bedroom stuff. It typically took them awhile to even get used to that little bit, let alone the extent that I was wanting! However it is entirely possible, and I have managed to get some pretty intense spankings from each one... Although I'd rather say it's a "learning experience" , yes, in all honestly, it did feel like "training" ... which actually does feel a bit awkward and off for an 'ee ... I felt like I was topping from the bottom, I did go through the frustration of dealing with moments where I felt like I absolutely deserved a spanking, when my partner seemed oblivious to the opportunity... I also had to practice quite a bit of self-control and awareness over my own self, when I felt tempted to "brat" my way into a spanking, wondering what it would take to get one for real... I won't lie, it was usually pretty messy for me at the beginning.... but it was possible, and was worth it. Communication really is everything, I had to remind myself, that I shouldn't expect them to read my mind, that they are new to this, and try to appreciate the fact that their initial hesitancy at something new, is a sign of their care and consideration for me, that their concern was hurting me, and not wanting to go to far... While it takes a bit more time for them to feel comfortable with it.... I think it would be a bit more concerning, however much I'd hate to admit, for someone who is inexperienced in spanking, to start off going all out... Not to mention, just as we as 'ees need to feel safe, comfortable, and have our limits respected, the same goes for our partners.... trust needs to be slowly built up, as well as comfort levels, and it's so much better to have that steady foundation at the beginning..... As opposed to diving in head first, and then trying to repair the damage when things go too far, too fast, and limits are crossed without having realized it... After explaining what it was that I really wanted, the reasons why, and answering any questions they might have... when it got to the actual first spanking, no matter how light, I had the best success, just telling them what I enjoyed that they did, and how much I would love it if they did something else.... For example, lets say my first spanking was just a few light swats on the bottom, not OTK, but just casually, maybe in a slight hugging position (Totally how my first spanking went with the last guy I dated) All in good fun... I totally gave him a hug a bit later, and let him know that I was really happy that he was willing to spank me, and poured on the affection.... later on I said something like "I would really love if you would put me over your knee sometime..... I'd like to know what a harder spanking would feel like from you~" And if I felt I did something wrong and deserved a spanking.... I had to put aside my passiveness and shyness and flat out say "I really messed up and feel like I deserve a spanking for this... Can I ask you for one? It would ease my guilt, and make me feel really loved and cared about if I were spanked by you for this...." It's tricky, but I will say that eventually, I was able to experience a wide range of implements at their hands, and eventually got the bruises, stripes and welts that I had craved....
    4 points
  34. Colorblindness is the epitome of modern day white supremacy. It's a way well meaning whites unknowingly silence people of color. When you say colorblind, you're basically saying "Hey. I'm white and I refuse to acknowledge my privilege. I also refuse to acknowledge the concerns of people of color, because heck, we're all the same. All lives matter."
    4 points
  35. Also, and I put this out there as food for thought only, ChicagoLady. I could be way off base. People with low self-worth/-esteem trying to heal from past traumas sometimes seek out people to partner with that 'verify' or mirror their self-image, perpetuating and strengthening self-loathing. His loathing was certainly apparent in this post. If he was anything like this in your relationship, he gave you back exactly what you already thought of yourself. It is maladaptive, certainly, but not a conscious process. Being aware of it might help. You deserve much better than this in ANY relationship you wish to enter in the future, no matter your flaws. We all have them. Run from this type of person.
    4 points
  36. I would absolutely stay with my Hubbs if he chose not to spank any more. We were "vanilla with twist" for the first 6yrs. Now we are in a 24-7 D-s relationship, though I am a bit kinkier and have more energy for it than he does. We have said from the beginning that the kink feeds off the marriage, not the marriage feeds off the kink. That being said, if he decided to be vanilla he would encourage me to find other people to fulfil my kinks within certain agreed upon parameters. If I had to start a new relationship I would look for someone kinky, preferably a spanko or someone into impact play at least. I lived the first 37 yrs not exploring it, and I don't plan on wasting a lot more time going "maybe in my next life"
    4 points
  37. I am not sure I can ever be spanked enough.
    4 points
  38. Lol, come on!! Let's leave the deeply entrenched and explicitly inhumane term out of this lifestyle. I see your location is listed as US. You live in a white majority country and you are obviously going to meet more white spankos than black. That's just probability and it doesn't speak to the "racism in spanking". Spanking is not a racist lifestyle. It's just a kink/fetish lifestyle. And the question, "What can we do to make it less white" is just wrong, even if it is silly. If you had asked "What can we do to make it more equal", I might've had a good laugh and it would've amused me.
    4 points
  39. From the album: gina

    4 points
  40. I stood in front of the desk, awaiting her verdict, nervously. She spoke. “Because this is your first time, I shall to let you off with a warning” A wave of relief. “Now bend over the desk, please.” Gulp. “But Miss… you just said you were going to let me off with a warning???” “Yes, dear.” She picked something up. “This is the Warning Cane. Bend over.” Heart sinking, I did. Taptaptap. Swish. Thwack. Oww. Tap. Swish. Whap. Oh, oh, ouch. Taptap. Swish. Whack. Ohhhhh gosh. “Stand up” It hurt to stand. “This will be your only warning. Next time it will be: six smacks, with the Naughty Girls’ Cane, on your bare bottom. Do you understand?” Sniffle. “Yes, Miss.” “You may go.”
    3 points
  41. She annoyed me, that shop girl. They sometimes do. Didn’t seem to be paying attention. And I have a short fuse. I know. I explode with anger and then regret it. And this was going to be another one of those times. I could feel it coming. And then there were tiny, faint bells, glingleglingle, and I was somewhere else entirely. A cloudlet of dry white mist danced round my feet. But the floor was solid enough. There was a large ornate desk and a smiling white-clad lady behind it. She spoke. “Ah, Dorothy. Welcome. You may be a little confused. Don’t worry.” Behind her shoulders I caught a glimpse of tiny wings. Not big enough to fly with, certainly. Must be some joke shop thing. But where was I and who was she and why was I suddenly not where I had been? I looked for words to ask these questions, but she answered before I found the words. “We’ve taken you out of time for a while. A time-out, if you like. I don’t suppose you believe in fairy godmothers? “No, of course not” I spluttered. “Good. We’re not them. Don’t worry who we are.” From the desk she picked up a short wand. Like the wings. Joke-shop tat. A little bell on one end and a glittery star on the other, a few flakes of glitter even falling off as she picked it up. What nonsense was this? She waved the wand off-handedly and the bell gave a tuneless tinkle. And then immediately I was in a different room. Still a little mist swirling around my feet. A different desk; a different lady, a little older; black dress but same joke-shop wings. What IS this? “Ah, Dorothy” she spoke. “In the world you just stepped out of, you’re about to be very nasty to that poor girl, and that won’t help either of you, will it? In fact, it will make both your days worse than they need be, hmmmm?” I was lost for words. She was right, of course. But could I help it? And who was she and how did she know? She continued. “When you go back you will still have the choice what to do. We deal with consequences, not choices. You don’t believe in fairy godmothers, do you?” The same question the previous lady had asked. The same answer. “No, of course not.” “Good” she said. “We’re not them. We may or may not exist. You may or may not believe in us. Think of me as …. your fairy spankmother, if that helps.” “My … what?” “This is what you deserve if you’re nasty to that poor girl, as you plan to be”. She picked up another joke-shop tat wand, identical to the other, and waved it. A tinny single bell sounded. And I was facing carpet. Over her knee. Skirt up and knickers down. I hadn’t moved, and yet I was there. A firm smack landed on the left side of my bottom, followed by a twin smack on the right. Then the spanks rained down, without pause, fast and hard and building to glowing soreness. I wriggled. She held my waist and smacked and smacked, relentlessly. Tears spurted. Mine. Wriggling, kicking, but nothing could alleviate the fire consuming my bottom. Until suddenly I was standing again, in front of the desk, and she behind it, with the silly wand and the silly wings. She spoke again. “Now, Dorothy, you are going back to the place and time we took you from. If you do as you were going to, you will have deserved the spanking I just gave you, will you not?” This was absurd. “But” I stammered “what if I don’t?” “Ah” she almost smiled. “The paradoxes of time and choice. Do we exist? Did this happen?” She waved the joke-shop wand and there I was, back in the shop. Nothing had changed. I took a breath, ready to vent my exasperation at the girl. And then I became aware. A millisecond ago, my bottom wasn’t sore. Now it is. Very. I shivered. The world spun. I forced a smile where the angry voice would have been. A “sorry; let me try to help” in place of the anger. And struggled through it, and home as quickly as I could, still not quite knowing what had happened. Drop the shopping. Quickly to a mirror. Skirt up, tights and knicks down; what’s real? Red or white? Red. And sore. Every sign of a spanked bottom. But did it really happen? Briefly and faintly, the word ‘yes’ appeared in the mirror, then faded. Or did I imagine that also? A good spanking, by somebody who couldn’t possibly exist, for something I didn’t actually do, but something I would have done if I hadn’t been spanked for doing it, which I didn’t. Fairy godmothers. How silly. Ouch. Ouch.
    3 points
  42. Brat knows the feeling Of hand, hairbrush, and the belt She got her spanking . . . I got spanked for the first time yesterday and I am over the moon! (and very, very sore)
    3 points
  43. There is a word I detest that is often used in the spanking community that grates on my nerves: "scene." Why does a spanking session have to be referred to as a "scene?" To me that word alludes to something being artificial or contrived, similar to play-acting. In any future relationship I have it is my hope that spanking unfolds in a natural, unforced, and authentic manner; as a response to the organic rhythms and flow of a relationship and the needs of the EE. To call it a "scene" implies an intrusion on reality...something set apart and acted out. We don't think of making love or french kissing or carpooling to work in this manner, so why is it done with spanking? Maybe I'm just obtuse and don't understand lol. 🤷‍♂️
    3 points
  44. I kind of like spanking being an underground thing and discretion being normalized. I generally think that fetishes and kink should be private and not out in the open. I don't think badly of anyone who chooses to show their face or thinks its important to be out of the closet for a kink. But the inevitable consequence of more and more people being open in spanking communities would be more and more people being open in broader society. And anything that gets too out in the open gets idealized and then commodified, corporatized, has its rules worked over by mainstream culture, and then loses its magic. Also, I accept myself as someone who is going to be always be a spanko but I don't think people in my personal and professional life need to accept me as a spanko, or even need to know about it. It would feel like pushing it on people anyway. Many people have peculiar interests and fetishes like dressing up in furry costumes or taking romantic spaghetti baths and to each their own but I don't want to hear about it in mainstream culture or listen to adherents whine about how it deserves acceptance and normalization. Given that I feel that way about spaghetti baths, I think it's only fair to be consistent with spanking. In general I just think expressions of kink should be private. You don't need to have society accept you for you to accept yourself.
    3 points
  45. Thanks guys, that's all really helpful and will feed into my thinking. To be honest, Bramblewine and Dunelman are probably right that it may be too much for me. Bramblewine - yes, it's the second. An idea for me to think about. He's never forced me down any route I didn't want to take (he handled the baring issue really well and has always been good around implement choice, positions etc). Longtimespanking - good point re what others might think.
    3 points
  46. The thing with grades is, they're not really under your control. If your teacher is a hard grader, or the material is just beyond you, you could put in absolutely every effort and still end up with a C, or perhaps even lower. If you're in a class where grading is done on a curve, and everyone else is a high performer, you could get a low grade for a score that would have earned you a B or even an A under another system. The reverse is also true: you could have a teacher who decides to just hand out A's, even if your performance would have earned a C elsewhere. None of that is under your control as a student. If you're in a disciplinary dynamic, it wouldn't do any good to be punished for something you had no control over. If you want to use spanking as a disciplinary tool and motivator for academic performance (in a consensual adult dynamic, of course - leave it out if it's about kids!) then the disciplinarian must do some hard work: they need to pay enough attention to their -ee to thoroughly understand how the -ee learns, how they study, what does and doesn't work for them, what doing their best looks like. If the -ee doesn't perform to expectations, their disciplinarian needs to be able to tell the difference between a choice not to meet those expectations and an inability to meet them. Those are entirely different things, but sometimes they look the same. Grades don't measure any of that. It takes knowing the person. In some cases, it might take knowing them better than they know themself.
    3 points
  47. My first wife used to always spank me on Thursday nights at 9pm. We used to watch Knots Landing at that time and I would have to miss the show as part of my punishment. I would have to get ready by stripping and laying face down on the bed. I could hear the TV in the next room and when they played the shows theme song I knew a commercial was coming up and I was about to get a whipping. She would spank me and then go back to the show, leaving me to think about what I did and the rest of the spanking to come. I always had at least two and often three sessions. The anticipation was as important to me as the spanking.
    3 points
  48. I think this is what really hits the nail on the head. You need a partner who can give you both sexually satisfying spankings and the right kind of disciplinary dynamic, don't you? This one was only half of that. He did well for you on the sexual side, but he couldn't give you the discipline side. If you really need both, and you need a partner who can give you both, then that's what you should be looking for in any future relationship.
    3 points
  49. I have asked the same thing. I’ll bet you a $100.00 dollars not having a delete account action on this web site is against the World Wide Web Consortium rule and you would be in a hole lot of legal mess. I’ll give you a week to comply or I’ll contact the WWWC myself.
    3 points
  50. This EE is extremely unimpressed. Definitely not going to consider anyone who acts like that as a spanking partner, even if they're someone I otherwise would consider.
    3 points
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