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  1. This methodology seems to work for your marriage, and I certainly respect that. For me, as long as a man's behavior is respectful, (something he can control) I am not offended by his body's involuntary reaction (something he can't control), nor would I want him to feel shamed because of it. I find it best to just quietly ignore any arousal. For most guys, it dissipates after the first few swats anyway, so "no harm, no foul."
    8 points
  2. Let's break this down item by item.... "i've been always known to confront people and get my way" = Spoiled? Bully? Sounds like you're overdue for a good spanking. "asking to be spanked is undoubtedly going to change her image of me and quite frankly i have no intention (let's just say it clearly) of being seen as weak" = If you can't be authentic, then what have you got? How much effort are you going to waste on upholding this particular "image" of how you want people to see you? When you reach the point where you're truly secure, you'll embrace who you are and let the chips
    7 points
  3. "Boys will be boys" is a bullshit excuse for bad behavior and lack of self-control.
    6 points
  4. I am a bottom, but even I would spank you for that!
    6 points
  5. I'm familiar with this line of reasoning, but I see it differently. Fear is forced, respect is earned. A man may comply when forced to, but that isn't respect. My goal is never to have him fear me. In fact, that's a dynamic I avoid. I want him to feel comfortable with me and safe opening up about anything he's struggling with. I want him to comply because he knows that I have his best interest at heart and because doing the right thing makes him feel good about himself. That said, I'm far from perfect-- I make mistakes and am always striving to improve my knowledge on this and my approach. But
    6 points
  6. I am a big fan of aftercare. I need that time to come down from the experience, get back to reality. I’ve also found it’s a time when I’m most open and vulnerable. In those moments I’m all about TLC. The routine varies depending on the connection with my spanker, sometimes it can be more physical. However, cuddling, some conversation and a cup of tea have often helped me regain balance after a spanking.
    6 points
  7. A little grainy, but this is a screenshot of a corner time video I made last fall. Do you have a preferred way to do CT?
    6 points
  8. Yes. Intrusive for the nuns. To foist one's spanking interests / needs on anyone else in such a way is intrusive. Intriguing results are hardly a reason to reach out to a sampling of nuns to ask questions about one's kink. Let's not pretend this would be for science and future generations.
    5 points
  9. Bucket list... I'd like to someday find my spanko soul-mate. And if he's truly my soul-mate, he'll (hopefully) be a switch. Though I'm notoriously independent, the older I get, the more I cherish good companionship. I'm not into Hollywood-type fantasies, though. For me, the perfect guy is like a pair of old boots-- really familiar and comfortable.
    5 points
  10. We are a bit different as well. Not married, but we do live together full time in our FLR with DD household. For all household and relationship aspects, she is the HoH and in charge of everything. I am not a slave and thus maintain my own bank accounts and personal property. I have my on real property as well. We do not to the 'mommy and son' concept, but I do submit to her complete authority on all relationship and household concerns. We agreed that punishment would consist of only bare ass spankings. We both drafted the agreement and rules and with the adoption of such, I agreed to a
    5 points
  11. Whoa, whoa, whoa... who told you that?
    5 points
  12. In addition to discussing and honoring the EE's personal limits, here are my own: My subs are to be spoken to with respect. A top can scold and punish with a spanking, yet still conduct themselves honorably. Yelling at someone or degrading them verbally is unnecessary and more harmful than good. The scolding and discipline are conducted in private, never as a public scene. No face slapping, hair pulling, ear grabbing, or other physical mistreatment. No mouth soaping, enemas, figging, and anal plugs. (These are merely personal preferences. Some good tops offer these options, but I
    5 points
  13. I recently added to my collection two London Tanners implements, a leather paddle and a strap. There is just something about the snap and burning sting of leather on a bare behind. Good ol' home-grown discipline at its best! I'm still passionate about the sensation of the human hand, though, especially if I'm the one on the receiving end of it.
    5 points
  14. I'm in the same camp as @StrictGent and @F/m_Spanking_only. It's the closeness, the bond I feel with fellow spankos, a few of whom have become close friends outside of SN. Those of us wired this way understand a deep and intimate part of each other that our friends and families don't grasp, or even know about. And the act of spanking itself, done respectfully and with caring, deepens this bond and mutual connection.
    5 points
  15. The closeness of it all for sure. It brings a closeness like nothing else can. The emotions are just amazing. When I am being spanked and my spanker is laying into me with a serious scolding, I am sobbing big time. I cry when being spanked both for the release and because I'm saddened that I've so greatly disappointed my spanker. And after the session...ohh...the hugging and consoling....words just can't describe it
    5 points
  16. All these posts about implements made me want to sort through mine. Not shown are the canes and rug beaters. It looks like I need a new OTKane, though. Any suggestions on where to buy a nice one?
    5 points
  17. That... is disturbing. It doesn't sound like the interaction was entirely consensual. Even if they were in a consensual D/D dynamic, the husband clearly WASN'T consenting to broadcasting it in public. Which is as much a part of it, and as necessary to have consent for, as the spanking itself. Not to mention, a loud scolding in a public place involves everyone who hears it in your dynamic, without their consent. Big no-no. That the security guard was amused and not concerned that it was a sign of abuse is really troubling. Even if he was correct in assuming the dynamic was consensual,
    5 points
  18. Watch out y’all! I have another SN brat staying with me this week. What trouble could that be?? Lol 😂
    5 points
  19. Guess mine must be the unicorn he actually does a good job at it. Of course knowing he will be having an appointment if he doesn’t might help as well.
    5 points
  20. I really don’t think that anyone that isn’t already in the dynamic or that you aren’t intimate with should be subjected to your experiment that is a fetish to you (especially without consent). This may be your desire but to mess with someone on a spiritual level is next step wrong. You are targeting out a group of people for your own satisfaction / desires. You wouldn't want them to disrespect your beliefs (or lack off). Give people the same respect. Lastly, this is a consented adult spanking site. Experimenting on someone for “results” without their consent is a huge issue.
    4 points
  21. I agree with @Chawsee. 1. You sound over due. 2. If you can't be honest and yourself, then what have you got? 3. You can be mostly in control (if it is agreed on in your relation ship) and STILL be spanked. My hubbs spanks me and is in control most of the time. I am actually more dominant, strict, and controlling than he is when I switch. He recognizes this and does not consider me weak at all, even when I am bottoming. The fact is, your GF might have a different mind set. She might be completely freaked out think it means you are gay, or a pervert. Worst case scenario
    4 points
  22. Well the best thing is to level with your girlfriend.Maybe she will give you a spanking and enjoy giving you one. If spanking is that important to you then you should let her know your thoughts. If not you could end up like a lot of men on this forum that want to be spanked and can't find anyone to discipline them. My husband doesn't have that problem because I found out when we were dating, and I compromised being HOH and he gets his well deserved spankings from me. Ms L
    4 points
  23. And that's the way it's done!!! EEs working together!
    4 points
  24. I have been wondering lately whether this type of "Mommy/Son" marital dynamic also includes nurturing and the softer side of parental relationships (support, affection, positive reinforcement rather than constant threat of punishment) as well as the punitive parenting style and near-total power exchange that is frequently discussed. I understand that everyone has a dynamic they feel comfortable with, but am genuinely curious about the balance. I know from being this field that people who grow up with a stern, punitive parent without the counter-balance of love and nurturing often struggle long
    4 points
  25. You specified husbands or boyfriends and I’m neither. My ER and I have a spanking partnership without the dating-romance aspect, but for what it’s worth, no, she is not the boss or head of our relationship, nor has she ever tried to be. I am treated as an equal, as a man, not a child. The only time I’m made to feel childish is when I have to drop my pants and take my place over her lap, but this is for infractions I’ve committed that we agreed on together that I wouldn’t commit, or if I get mouthy, as sometimes happens. 😬 She helps me where I’ve asked for her help (like the way I interact
    4 points
  26. I wouldn't want a ritual either. If there is one thing I have learned, it's that subs tend to like surprises. And my EE doesn't show me her front side because we are not in that type of relationship.
    4 points
  27. Okay, I will be completely honest here. I don't like too much sameness from one spanking to the next. Variety is an absolute must for me. So, ritual is not something I crave. Frankly, this particular ritual would just feel silly and contrived. I want my partner and I to have natural interactions and react authentically in the moment. If this was something you wanted me to do - even in a funishment / roleplay scenario - I would say "no." In a disciplinary situation, it would totally wreck my headspace and submissive response. BUT - you asked for feedback and I gave you my personal thought
    4 points
  28. An older conservatively dressed but motherly woman.
    4 points
  29. I've always envisioned a man who looks like Merlin Olsen (Jonathan Garvey, Little House on the Prairie). Older than me, physically larger, bearded-- the perfect father-figure in my mind: a strong, hard-working country man. Mr. Garvey was always honest, soft-spoken and kind. I can't tell you how many times I've fantasized about feeling crushed because I'd disappointed him, so much so that he decided he needed to give me a spanking.
    4 points
  30. Please note that the tailbone typically extends a couple inches below the beginning of the gluteal cleft.
    4 points
  31. I've never been attracted to other women in any form. While my spanking sessions are respectfully platonic, spanking is directly wired to my sexuality, so I do not spank women, nor would I allow one to spank me. But that's just the way I'm wired. I'm cool with those who do engage in F/f spanking. Many respected pros do this. And interestingly, I enjoy a number of M/m videos. There's typically no drama or head games with guys, as is all too often seen in F/m videos. I've picked up some good tips watching men spank other men.
    4 points
  32. And those are scary days indeed. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
    4 points
  33. Legsman Happy heavenly birthday! Just know that you are missed dearly. I pray that your having the time of your life, Rest In Peace until we meet again. “If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever!” 🎂 Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven 🎂
    4 points
  34. Finding my first spanking site (after a late night "what the hell" search) was not only a game-changer, it was a life-changer. For so many years, I thought I had to be the only one, that there had to be something wrong with me. Finding a community of people who understood, who 'got it,' gave me a sense of self-acceptance and eventually, outright pride. Yes, this is who I am and there's nothing wrong with that. To the contrary, that's pretty flippin' cool. I met my husband on a site. The process of growth from that wide-eyed newbie to who I am now has taught me a great deal and provid
    4 points
  35. I've come to realize that we are members of a very special, often misunderstood, group of people. So part of what I like is sharing thoughts and ideas related to spanking with folks who truly understand. My closest friends and family don't get me the way a spanko would, so it's a pleasure to be able to open up that side of me. Especially since it was closed off for the first twenty or thirty years of my life.
    4 points
  36. Punishments and discipline. Red to be given in private. Period. Anything that would be considered assault or illegal is still such regardless of your prearranged dynamic. There seems to be some confusion that this is a grey area for a F/m dynamic. It’s not. To make it easier to imagine, switch the genders. As a male eE, if I walk up on a man hitting a woman in public, I will call the authorities and/or physically stop it from happening myself. I’m not asking if he is her dominant, disciplinarian, or master. If as an ER you don’t have ways to stop an undesired behavior in public
    4 points
  37. Hmmm, I'm not sure that you are paying attention, @Spankingmyhuby. Bystanders hearing and seeing the exchange have not consented.
    4 points
  38. Agreeing with you here. Consent extends beyond the people aware of the dynamic, and willing participants. For me personally I feel that if there are strangers they did not give consent and it’s wrong to subject them even a scolding would cross the line.
    4 points
  39. Soooo, where are we meeting for this weekend getaway? 😳
    4 points
  40. In the case of a no nonsense or real discipline spanking, my wife insists on making me masterbate beforehand and then proceeds to whallop my bare backside after I'm spent. She makes sure that I'm well and truely spanked and that I feel it for the next few days. Sometimes, if given in the night, a follow up reminder is given in the morning.
    4 points
  41. One of the things I like most in the realm of spanking is variety. I don't really have many set conceptions of how it should be (always on the bare, always OTK, always whatever). I don't think a spanking, or supplemental activities like corner time or mouthsoaping, must always be done a certain way. The only requirement for me is that it is always safe, sane, and consenual. Do you prefer variety or are certain aspects of spanking an "always"?
    4 points
  42. I'm not sure what the 5 stages of a spanking is, but I totally understand that moment in spanking you mentioned both as a ER and ee. It's the peak of your pain threshold. The adrenaline is spiking, your teeter tottering between pain and surrender, fight or flight, panic mode, the climax of the battle between keeping your composure or lossing it. The monents between screaming in pain and bursting into tears. The final breakthrough from being braught to the very edge of your pain tolerance before you loose it. Been there done that. That that is the moment where theory and reality colli
    4 points
  43. Ok, im actually going to say something a little different here. So embarrassing to admit it. When I was in my early 20's I got into switching and I had a girlfriend who absolutely love to beat my butt. And she never believed in short spankings or giving slow swats. Of course she was always good with giving TLC afterwards, she loved the fact that I would totally take it until Iost my composure. These were days before I ever heard about safe words. But the first time she used a wooden implement on me and literally beat the bare off my behind, the second she stopped I jumped straight up
    4 points
  44. I think more marriages would work out better if husbands were spanked.
    4 points
  45. This is a strange world where fantasy and reality overlap, sometimes in beguiling ways. Many of us, particularly men, I think, have a worrying tendency to see what we want to see rather than what is actually there in front of us. As with all things in the virtual world, it pays to have one's guard in place, but also to be prepared for real surprises! This I know from happy experience. Decide what we want from our time here and then live by those aims, preferably with all brain cells actively engaged! It's a great place with a potential to be very beneficial from time to time. So nice
    4 points
  46. We are just advertising the benefits of FLR. These 2 are trying to convert me to the good cause😂
    4 points
  47. I will always have a physical, uncontrollable reaction to being spanked. But, I have had punishment spankings that did not turn me on (mentally) during the act. Afterwards, though... definitely.
    4 points
  48. Interesting point. And I fully respect your position. I actually went back and forth on it as it caused an initial conflict in my mind with our current practices. My husband and I are a loving couple that practices domestic discipline from a F/m perspective. It is consensual but very real. There are a few types of spankings my husband gets. An impromptu quick swat session for spur of the moment transgressions. Attitude adjustment where it is a more formal spanking. In our room but he is bent over and gets around 30 to 40 good hard swats/lashes. And then the ultimate is what we call a "Woodshed
    4 points
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