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  1. Why don't you tell people that up front? You could put it in the About Me section of your profile. Something like, "I only play with single people," or, "I do not play with married/partnered people unless they have the informed consent of their spouse/partner." And then, if you get into conversing with someone, mention that early on, and don't proceed with them if it turns out that they have an unknowing or unconsenting partner. You can't control what other people do. You can control who you engage with.
    6 points
  2. I am very interested in honest feedback on my first attempt to post a spanking video I created. https://www.spankingtube.com/video/121162/spanking-adult-stephanie-car-crash-dude-spanking
    5 points
  3. This may have been brought up before, but wouldn’t it be awesome if there was a Spanking Court, where defendants could argue their case before a judge (or jury, if there were enough spankos), and would rely on the judge render verdict - to decide implements used, number of whacks, and any additional penalties (for crying out, rubbing, etc.) Immediately after sentencing, a designated disciplinarian would carry out the judgement in full view of the court. Then send the punished to a designated corner to stand in and allow the courtroom observers to get unobstructed views of the blistered butts… I’d dearly love to be either a defendant or a courtroom observer in this fantasy☺️
    4 points
  4. I have never heard of nerve injury if applied to the buttocks. However, it can be dangerous like any other implement if not used correctly. If you hit high with a paddle, for example, you can break a tailbone. I suppose if you want to get crazy with a cane and beat someone to a bloody pulp you could cause nerve damage. But I have caned people reasonably hard before with no ill effects other than a sore bottom.
    4 points
  5. When my wife gives me a spanking, here is how it usually goes down. pre-spanking lecture “honey come in the living room we need to talk” she then calmly asks me if I remember something we agreed to that I didn’t do or something she asked me to stop doing but I haven’t like for example letting garbage pile up. she says “I am going to have to give you a spanking”. I then say “oh no honey please” ”yes that’s what is going to happen. I hope this will help you remember. Now go to the bedroom and fetch me the plastic cane and hairbrush (or whatever other implements she decides)”. I come out and she makes me hold them as she slowly takes down my pants and then my underwear, and then has me get over her lap. She will ask questions like “what is going to happen to you right now? Why is this happening?” I need to say “i did x or haven’t done y. I am going to be getting spanked”. she also tells me “bury your face in the screaming pillow we don’t want to disturb our neighbours” pretty soon the cane and hairbrush start smacking down on my butt hard. She changes from one to the other and I am soon wriggling and gasping “ow ow ow it hurts” ”it’s supposed to hurt honey that’s why it’s a spanking” ”we are going to turn your butt nice and red” “we haven’t even started yet, stay still” afuer a few minutes she says “ok, go yo the bedroom and think about what you have done. I will call you out for round two when I’m ready” im usually in the bedroom gingerly touching my butt which has some welts and is red and is kind of glowing warm but I know it is going to be far worse soon. After a few minutes “ok honey come out now. Bring the strap and paddles and loopy Johnny and belt” (usually just two or 3 of them not all. I come out and she has the hide away bed rolled away with pillows for me to lie on. “lie down on the pillows” sometimes I try to mumble I’ve learned my lesson do we have to do this and she will say “I’ll decide when you’ve learned your lesson, we have a lot to go”. She sometimes will spray my butt with cold water or put a warm microwaved heat pad on and then the second part will begin. When she uses the paddle she makes me put on underwear because they have holes and it’s to avoid bleeding. Then she will pull them down when she moves to other implements. When it’s the belt or strap she just keeps me bare bottomed. The second half is much longer and I am wriggling and screaming into my pillow and moving all over the pillow and burying my hands in the covers and the implements come down full force. Thw whole butt is spankee very thoroughly and especially the sit spots are hell as is any part that she hits several times continuously. she will often pause and ask “tell me again why you are getting this”. She will also tell me how my carelessness affects her as she is hitting. She will sometimes ask “why am I hurting you right now” and I have to say “so I don’t do x again”. After a long good few minutes it’s back to the bedroom. By that time I’m moaning and my butt is very bruised and sensitive to touch. she usually calls me out for a third round lying down also very lengthy. By this point I’m screeching into the pillow, sweating up a storm, wriggling, sometimes turning over to which she says “get back into position, move your butt up”. Sometimes she will pop me once or twice on the upper thighs. she takes periodic breaks, to drink some water or to get the laundry while I lie there, sometimes after she puts a heat pad on my butt which both hurts more and also makes it more sensitive to more strokes. shw uses a variety of implements, switching from one to the other Then more corner time and when I come out again she sits on the floor and has me to over her knee and she goes usually with the hairbrush and plastic cane. This part is much shorter but already on a completely bruised and welted and sensitive butt so I am having the same reaction as the other two times. thwn she says “ok honey we’re done” and I bury my head in her chest and then we snuggle.
    4 points
  6. I’d just like to also add onto what David said, there should always be a safe word even in CNC situations. It actually originates with the specific kink of r*pe play, though I’ve heard it thrown around for DD relationships where the partner has blanket control to punish as they see fit. Safe words should never be ignored or disregarded, a submissive should ALWAYS have the option to withdraw their consent if a situation feels wrong or unsafe.
    4 points
  7. It seems to me this is part of the point of having a safeword, even if it's never used. It can be hard to avoid, and important for mindset not to avoid, begging for the spanking to stop and be finished during a real punishment spanking. The existence of a safeword that is not used shows that despite making it clear how much you wish the spanking would stop, you have not withdrawn consent for it to continue until the disciplinarian is satisfied with the punishment. Playing word games with consenting not to be able to withdraw consent is relatively meaningless, and not having a safeword is potentially physically dangerous for the spankee and legally dangerous for the spanker.
    4 points
  8. Once upon a time, I believed in the warmup no matter what the reason might be for the spanking. Now I find many on both sides of the rod believe if discipline is involved, said warm up can be dismissed and let the caning and the paddling and the belting begin. I have mixed feelings at best - especially since I’m very old school in using my hands when spanking. Particularly in the warm up phase where I can turn a bum cherry red in a matter of minutes. I now ponder if holding back with the swinging of the open palm was a tactile error. I have large hands and they can hurtle across and down most effectively, which also creates a unique “smack” sound that no other implement gives. And it allows me to judge impact in a more personal manner than the swinging of a object ever could. Frankly, I think Spankers NEED that warmup time as much as the spankees, discipline be damned. If a spanking is truly intimate, skin on skin sings the loudest.
    4 points
  9. So I promised ages ago that I'd blog about this. It's been a busy start to the year but I've finally managed. Hope you find it interesting - and I'm always happy to discuss stuff I blog about if anyone is interested. I've posted about my temporary ER before so I'm not going to set out the full background but, basically, my regular ER (who is a good friend of mine) moved away for work (temporarily, I hope) at the back end of last year. We discussed it and decided that it would be for the best if we could find someone who could discipline me if necessary while he was away. I am very picky and there was no question of me letting a random guy spank me - I wanted to find a woman to work with and ideally someone with with experience of spanking other women for punishment/accountability. Rightly or wrongly, I felt that another woman would be a safer option and I'd feel more comfortable. I am not in the spanking scene (beyond my discussions on here) so I didn't really know anyone (as some of you know, it was basically luck that I discovered my friend could be my ER). I was apprehensive about getting in touch with a professional disciplinarian; before spanking first came up with Jay I had done Google searches on things like professional disciplinarian etc but never had the courage to go through with it, and a year or so of being spanked by him hadn't really changed that. Fortunately, Jay knew someone, indirectly I think (but from what he calls the spanking world), who agreed to meet up for a chat. She (I've called her Victoria - that's not her real name because I don't it's fair to name her) doesn't describe herself as a professional disciplinarian but seems to "work" (her word - she also talks about coaching and mentoring, always with the use of spanking as a consequence) with a few women on a semi regular basis. It sounds like they're mostly smart, professional women around my age. Anyway, I met her with Jay and we had a long chat - it's the only time I'd ever discussed spanking with anyone other than Jay. She was actually very honest about being a really dominant personality and also about enjoying spanking and punishment but she also talked a lot about the transformative power of spanking and her belief that it can be really valuable in changing habits, behaviours and mindsets. The chat went well and she agreed to see me if I needed it (we never actually discussed if I'd have to pay - she has never asked but I am not sure whether Jay paid her but I don't think so). Victoria had told me to contact her when I felt that I was ready. I was pretty nervous about the idea because it was pretty obvious that she'd be really strict and no-nonsense. By early January I hadn't been spanked for some time and I knew I was slipping with some of my rules. I had missed Jay (my regular ER's) accountability (even if I didn't always need regular punishment) and also the attention and care that comes with our arrangement. Some of you will probably wonder what I'd done. I've written about my rules on here before. It was the same kind of stuff. THE FIRST APPOINTMENT So with some trepidation I sent her a message; we exchanged a few messages including her asking me for my underwear size (I had no idea what that was about but soon found out). We spoke by phone and she agreed to see me at her place on the Saturday. She gave me instructions that she expected me to dress formally: as I would for a work interview, she described it. And I was reminded of the discussion we'd have when we'd met - she demands respect, deference, and that anyone she works with to follow her instructions. I really didn't sleep well on the Friday night - I was nervous. It was as though the more than a year of being a woman "who gets spanked" counted for nothing. I felt as I did when I was a complete newbie to corporal punishment in Autumn 2020. I stupidly faffed around in the morning and I would come to regret that. I probably worried way too much about what to wear and how to look (I never normally bother with make-up before a spanking, for obvious reasons). I changed outfits a couple of times. But I settled on a trouser suit, with a light blue blouse. I went with fairly vanilla satin knickers - I figured that faint panty lines probably didn't matter in the circumstances. I blow dried my hair; God knows why. When we first me we'd discussed my state of dress for punishments, I told her what I normally aware and had said that was really important to me, but we didn't talk about it again on the phone. So into my handbag I put the spandex shorts I'm usually spanked in and the one piece swimsuit I sometimes have to wear when my ER thinks that more bare skin and embarrassment is justified. I don't think I realised that it would take me an hour to get to Victoria's place. I knew the area and assumed it would take 30 minutes. Anyway, by the time I got off the second Tube I was running 20 mins late. I decided to send Victoria a message to let her know. I got no reply and that only added to my nervous state. It was a 10-minute walk from the Tube through leafy, up-market area of London - I found a beautiful detached house with the number I had in Victoria's WhatsApp message. I walked up the short drive and not wanting to be any later pressed the large bell straight away. Victoria answered. She stood there in a fitted grey smart dress and sizeable heels (definitely not the appearance of a dominatrix or anything like that, which was a relief). It was the first time I had seen her since our initial meeting with Jay in the wine bar. Standing at the door she had more presence and looked more imposing than I remembered, maybe it was the heels. She looked annoyed and said something like "you're late for your appointment Naomi". She looked angry and very stern. I tried to be very contrite and obviously apologised. She told me that I'd got off on the wrong foot and reminded me what she'd said to me about her standards and the importance of respect. Victoria asked me how I thought she handled lateness. I sheepishly said something like spanking. "Of course" was the response. She closed the front door and we stepped into a hallway which was more like an entry room. She asked me to hand her my coat. There were two soft-backed chairs and a coffee table in that entrance space. Victoria immediately sat down one and told me that she was going to "teach me" never to be late for an appointment with her. The command was firm and matter of fact: "get over my knee". I had never been spanked over my regular ER's knee because I didn't like the idea of that physical intimacy with my friend, and for the same reason he's never used his hand on me. Victoria exuded authority; there was no way I was going to do anything other than try to go over her knee, whatever that meant. Pretty awkwardly, as I had never done it before, I kind of draped myself over her lap. I felt pretty strange and embarrassing. Her legs felt firm and pretty muscular, she felt much more powerful than me. She scolded me some more about respect and punctuality. This the first time that one of my "yesses", "noes" or "sorries" was met with a "yes, MAAM". I was warned that if I showed any further lack of respect or petulance she would spank my thighs. Without any more messing around Victoria pushed my suit jacket - which I hadn't taken off - out of the way put her hand on my bottom (still wrapped in fitted suit trousers) and then started to smack me. It stung a lot more than I thought a hand would, I regretted my lateness - I'm a crier and have pretty low tolerance but managed to save the tears. It didn't last that long but it was a very clear warning about any lateness. it also had the effect of establishing that she was firmly in charge and I was very much in the role of the submissive. She tapped my bottom and told me to get up. She asked me to follow her. That was just a warm-up, an extra, I knew that it hadn't yet begun. Victoria walked down the very wide hallway with me following and then look a turn to go down to short stairs. We descended to a basement room which was nicely decorated, she closed the door behind. It was obviously Victoria's "study" - I could see it had a couple of doors off it. My eyes darted around but I couldn't immediately see any trappings of spanking. The left she had a desk with a laptop sitting on it and there was a couch on the right-hand side of the room with a small coffee table in front. Victoria told me to take a seat (there was no inviting, it was a direction) on the chair in front of her desk. Then I noticed the first signs of spanking - there was a red object on the desk that looked like a ruler, on the shelves behind her were a bunch of books on punishment, discipline and spanking, mixed in with what looked like books on management and leadership, CBT, mentoring and various other things. She sat on the other side and asked me why I was there. She was direct. I spat out something about coming to her for her discipline and accountability. She reminded me that it was my choice, I had my safeword, could ask for breaks and that she would take account of my preferences but I also needed to trust her judgement as someone who had mentored and spanked lots of women, she said. I confirmed that I understood that. Conversation turned to my rules - she had asked me to send her a copy beforehand (and we'd discussed them when we first met). I was told that I would be expected to make an honest confession about whether I had complied with each rule. Victoria warned me that for her as a disciplinarian not being truthful and honest is at the top of the list of offences and that she always knows when one of her EEs is lying - she said she had a lie detector app (!) that she would use if she thought I wasn't being truthful. She said ominously that none of her EEs have lied to her twice. We worked through my rules; I tried to be very frank and full about where I'd gone wrong over the last month to six weeks. She explored each one with me. She took a few notes on her laptop. ... I hadn't had a great 6 weeks or so since my regular EE had gone and I was genuinely disappointed with myself. She asked me why I'd slipped so much - the reality was that I sometimes struggle when there isn't the imminent prospect of punishment to keep me on the straight and narrow. I tend to slip back to my pre-getting-disclipined era. She told me that I had let myself down and that it was "obvious" to her that I needed a "damn good hiding" (those words stuck) and that she would need to be very strict with me to get me back to where I wanted to be -- she was pretty sure, she warned, that I was going to be spanked harder and longer than ever before. She promised me that I was going to improve. Then Victoria said something that i remember so clearly: "Right Naomi - I'm going to punish you". Conversation turned to clothing for the punishment. I had told her before that bare was not something I wanted - she knew that I normally wore little spandex shorts with my male ER. She said that she thought that baring my bottom ought to be an option (in fact she said that I deserved to spanked bare) but she would respect my choice, but she didn't want to be spanking my bottom without seeing what she was doing to it, so I would have to wear my swimsuit. I was nervous so I asked her what was going to happen to me - I guess what I meant was how was she going to do "it". That question annoyed her, her response was that was a stupid question. I must have then given her some back chat, it's a blur but I think I said something like "I was just asking, no need to be rude". That was a mistake. She told me to stand up, she picked up the red ruler thingy came round from behind the desk, told me should would tolerate back chat... another mistake, I told her hadn't spoken back to her ... she smacked the back of my thighs with the ruler. It stung nastily. She raised her voice and told me to go and get changed in the bathroom and to hurry up. I grabbed my handbag and trotted off to the bathroom which was a kind of en suite attached to her study area. I kicked off my heels. Off came my suit, blouse and underwear. I pulled on the blue swimsuit as quickly as I could. That really pumped up my nervousness - I have only ever worn this swimsuit to get spanked so I've very negative associations with putting it on - it gives me just about enough modesty but I still feel pretty naked when I wear it. I walked back out and Victoria leaning up against her desk waiting for me. I felt her eyes lock on to her "prey". This was it. I was told to follow her. She opened the door the right of her desk and we walked into another room. This was obviously where she administers spankings. It was another nicely decorated room, a wooden floor and nice lighting. But that wasn't what interested me. It was the presence of what even vanilla me knew was a spanking bench. There was also a day bed against the wall. But what really got the butterflies going was the collection of spanking implements. There was a row of coat hooks with a bunch of paddles, belts, canes and straps hanging off and a kind of umbrella stand with plenty of other stuff. It all looked awful. Suddenly this felt more serious and more formal than anything I had experienced before. On the one hand I felt extremely nervous, on the other there was something that felt effective about the formality -- more than ever before I felt I was attending an appointment to be punished, no more and no less. Victoria told me stand in the corner, facing the corner while she decided what she was going to use to punish me. I was very careful to make my "yes, maam" clear. I shuffled to the corner, feeling a mixture naughty, childish and a horrible sense of trepidation. I assumed that she asked me to face the corner because she wanted to size up her target. She walked over and touched my bum - perhaps testing firmness. I heard her selecting her weapon of choice. When she told me to turn around she'd laid a transparent perspex paddle and a riding crop on the bench. She had sitting on the edge of the day bed. I was told to come over - I reluctantly obliged. I was kinda relieved that I wasn't going straight to the bench. I stood facing her. I noticed that she'd put a leather glove on her right hand. That hardly made me feel better. I felt a bit S&M like (definitely not my scene), I thought. She asked me to look at her. Victoria very coldly and sternly told me that I had chosen my rules, I had chosen my actions and I had chosen the consequences. She ominously said that I wouldn't keep breaking my rules if she has any role with me. There much less of a lecture than with my regular ER. Just a command to turn around and show her my bottom. I did as I was told. I felt her grab each side of my swimsuit and pull it firmly - and the lycra rose. She was baring as much of my bottom as the suit permitted. Having that done to me felt free embarrassing - it also felt punishing, part of the experience she and I - with hindsight - would be the deterrent. Then I was told to get over her knee. I did. I felt her leg lock over mine, her left hand placed on the small of my back. And then, to put it shortly, she gave me a spanking with her right hand. The swimsuit offered some modesty but no real protection, it felt like a bare bottom spanking. I maybe cared less about that this time because I had bigger concerns and having most of my butt showing felt less of a concern because it was only another woman seeing it. There wasn't the interaction or lecturing I have with my usual ER during and between the slaps. I don't know how long it lasted but, of course (for those of you who've read my accounts will know), I was crying. I was, without any sympathy, told to save my tears. Get up, came the command. Then came the order to get onto the bench for my punishment. I had obviously never done this before but I gave my swimsuit a tug downwards and then knelt onto the soft padding, Victoria made some height adjustments to the part in front of me, and figured I needed to rest my chest on the part. My bottom felt really "presented" and on display for her, which I guess must be the point. Then Victoria reminded me that her preference was for me to be restrained, reiterating that she thinks it's better for focus, keeps hands out of the way and avoids penalty slaps on the thighs. She reminded me that I could use my safeword any time I needed it. I decided that I'd try it. She asked me to put my arms down to the side, there were rests. She secured my wrists with velcro straps. I felt very vulnerable and submissive at that moment. I knew i was probably about to be taken closer to my limits than I'd ever been with Jay. I probably also knew that I needed to be to get me back on track. It was a strange clash of emotions and thoughts. Often at that moment, I ask myself: what are you doing? She picked up what she called the Lexan. I told her I was sorry and regretted my behaviour but there was no discussion to be had. I felt Victoria take aim and then she set my ass on fire. It was the most stingy and burny thing I've ever had used on me. I think the position also made it hurt more as I was really bent forward with my bottom taught and presented. The noise of it was also pretty impressive, I think that added to the effect. I was sobbing my eyes out pretty quickly and I am sure I was very loud. I think Victoria probably realised that I wasn't a tough cookie. She gave me a bit of a pause. Then she asked me which rule breaking I saw as the biggest issue for me and felt worst about - I explained and she then told me she wanted me to focus on that and "hard wire" the connection between that habit and what I she was about to give me. And she then spanked harder, really lighting me up... I am glad my hands were tied because they would gone back to shield my ass, and although my legs weren't restrained I think the bench put me in a position where my kicking habit didn't appear ... I nearly used my safe word because the sting was sooo intense but she read me well and told me i was down to the last, I think, 3 with the Lexan and then it stopped. My God - that thing taught me a lesson. It's hard to explain the feeling - it's not the worst thing I've had in terms pure pain (that's definitely my ER's delrin cane which I've only ever had a few strokes of) but it stings worse and it's the build up of heat and fire. She asked me whether I'd be carrying on that habit -- I sobbed "no, maam" and tens of sorries to her to but to myself, really. She threatened that she'd double what I had just had if she ever had to punish me for that again. I can say that in the weeks since that prospect has been a mega deterrent. It wasn't over. I made the mistake of asking if we were done. She told me we weren't and she would tell me when we she felt I had been punished enough. Victoria gave me some time to calm down a bit - for my crying to slow and stop. Then she adjusted the bench to lift my hips and drop my chest a bit. She moved on to the crop. The sight of the crop scared me because it felt more on the BDSM spectrum. Without any messing around whacked my sit spots and tops of my thighs with that - she was was an methodical, targeting the areas which experience probably told her would make me feel this for days (I don't think the crop landed on any part of my bum protected by the lycra). Its bite was a different feeling again. Not as bad overall but the thighs hurt. Victoria punished me with the crop for what felt like a long time. I didn't make the mistake of again asking if we were done. She came round and undid the straps holding my hands and told me I could get up. Without much warmth she asked me how I was feeling. I am sure that my tear soaked face and make up smudged all over painted 1000 words. But I told herself something like sore or sorry. So she hadn't finished. She asked me to follow her. We went back through to her study. She asked if I'd ever been made to do lines. I said I hadn't (but my regular ER and I had discussed it). While I stood there adjusting my swimsuit she opened a wall cupboard and retrieved something wrapped in plastic. Victoria reminded me that she'd mentioned her use of what she called "hot shorts". I asked what that was - and she explained that she told me that I was going to be putting them on and wearing them for the rest of the weekend to (her words) "make the punishment last longer" and to serve as a reminder about my behaviour. I opened the bag and it was a new pair of what the Americans call booty shorts: black, semi shiny and made of what I think is latex. I was bit shocked because it looked very kinky and BDSM-esque. Then Victoria retrieved from the ensuite a small pot of what I could see was some kind of heat rub. She handed it to me and told me to apply it all over my bottom - I knew better than to talk back so I proceeded to rub the white cream into my poor, throbbing ass. Not satisfied she told me to add more. And then Victoria asked me to go get changed into the shorts. I headed off to change in the ensuite - checking out my ass in the mirror was a shock. As I pulled off my swimsuit I could already feel the warmth starting to build. Needless to say I had never worn latex before, I struggled to pull the shorts on, probably not helped by my ass being tender and feeling almost swollen for the punishment I'd already taken. Actually it was sore trying to pull them up. I eventually got them on; they felt super tight, like nothing I'd warn before (I can definitely see how some people would feel very sexy in this stuff but not really my thing). They came about an inch down my thighs. I touched my butt and couldn't believe how firm it felt. What they did for sure was make me even more aware of my bottom and it's state, and I could feel the heat just building. I didn't have a t-shirt or anything like that so I ended up having to put my blouse back on, which felt ridiculous with the shorts. I went back out. She asked me if I could see why I'd been told to wear the shorts -- I certainly could! Victoria had cleared a space at the desk and put a note pad on the desk. I was told to take a seat. Damn, sitting on a wooden chair wasn't nice. She asked me to write my reflections on what I had learned from my punishment and what I was going to do differently. I love writing so I took to the task pretty happily. Most of what I wrote was pretty predictable. Victoria had a quick read of it and told me I wrote well and was obviously very reflective. But then she told that she was sorry (yeah right) but I was going to get a final spanking to drive home the lesson. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. I protested a bit but was told something like "Naomi - I think you've learned this morning that if you have an appointment with me I make the decisions about how you're punished and when you've been punished enough", she reminded me that whole point was for me eradicate the behaviours that had brought me here and not to be coming back any time soon. I was told to bend over her desk and grab the far side. Victoria came back with what looked to me like an intimidating, large wooden paddle; she'd told me earlier that I was a small implements girl because I've got a small bottom. She explained that she needed to use something heavier because of the shorts. She whacked me 7 or 8 times with the paddle (my first experience of a wooden paddle) - the tears flowed again, I found it loud and a different type of soreness to other implements - it felt much deeper. I can see why she did it because the added punishment really built up the heat in the shorts. I felt like the heat and sting (which was made worse by the heat rub) and had nowhere to escape to. And that was it. I was told I could get up when I was ready. I was finally through what must have been the longest and definitely most punishing discipline session I'd had ever had. Victoria told me I could change but demanded that I keep the shorts on for the rest of the weekend. I said I would. I went to change. My bottom was warm through the shorts. Once changed Victoria checked up on me. She asked whether it was what I was expecting, she wanted to know if she had done enough to make a repeat visit unlikely any time soon. I had no doubt that she had. Heading back on the bus I wondered whether I was giving anything away. My make up was gone and my eyes felt puffy from all the crying. I felt pretty spent, I'd cried a lot and got out lots of emotion. Once home my ass was still on fire, I didn't keep follow Victoria's instruction to keep the shorts on - it was just too punishing. But when I crashed on the couch I did feel a weird sense of relief; like some guilt had been lifted... That experience was a really powerful reminder for me in the weeks that followed. A SECOND VISIT In March I had a client event at work. It went really late and I had far too much white wine for the occasion and given people in my team were there. I basically embarrassed myself was too familiar and loose-tongued especially for someone in a management role. I was pretty drunk when I headed for home at about 1 in the morning. I try not to walk home at night (actually that's one of the rules I have with my ER); I live near quite a sketchy park and it's definitely not safe for a woman on her own at night. Because I live on my own, if I do walk I l tell a friend (often Jay) when I leave and text when I am home, I also started using a safety app. That night I made the stupid decision not to bother taking a taxi and walk for 40 mins, including through that park. To make it worse, I had let my phone run out of battery. When woke up sober I was really shocked and mad at myself. I really regretted having been drunk around colleagues but even more so about having stupidly put myself at risk in getting home. For whatever reason that often triggers in me a feeling that I need to be held to account, I feel like need consequences. If Jay had been around I would absolutely have messaged him that morning - he would have so upset with and he would have blistered my ass. In that moment I decided to call Victoria and asked if could make an appointment to see her that coming weekend. I knew I needed and deserved a good hiding. She couldn't see me on the Saturday but had time on the Friday evening - I wouldn't have long to wait. Knowing that Victoria would expect formal attire, I dressed up for work that morning and put on a skirt suit. I stuffed my swimsuit and the evil latex shorts (she had told me to bring them) in my handbag. To be honest I was slightly distracted at work. I find it hard to focus on anything else in the hours before I get spanked. I had to turn down invitations to drinks with colleagues, I had "plans" I said. Terrified of being late again, I left in very good time. In good time I arrived at Victoria's place. She answered the door wearing a white blouse and a black jacket, this time she'd gone for a fitting leather pencil skirt (she is clearly figure proud) and heels again. She has natural authority and poise but I assume that she dresses that way for appointments because it increases that - it certainly has the effect of making her look powerful and with authority, in my eyes. This time we went straight down to her study. She invited me to take a seat. There wasn't much small talk. She sat down behind her desk (as you would at any other consultation) and asked me to tell her why I wanted to see her. I explained what had happened earlier in the week. Then she took over, she scolded me from a very female perspective about safety and also about my lack of professionalism at work. It wasn't a long discussion but she did ask me what type of punishment I thought I needed; I said that was for her to judge. She told me to go to get changed for my punishment. I changed into my swimsuit and came back out of the ensuite and she'd put something I'd never seen before on her desk, it was a brown floggy thing. She told me it was her martinette (I am not sure how that is spelled). Victoria had also put a pad of paper and a pen on her desk - right, she was going to make me do lines. She told me that I was to write 300 times (!) the words "I will not put my safety at risk. I am going to be severely punished for my irresponsible actions." I got to work. I have never done proper lines before and found it pretty punishing, especially with the martinette lying on the table next to the notepad, I touched one of the strands and dreaded what was going to do to my ass. I felt like it took me an age to finish it but maybe something in me wanted to delay what I knew was coming afterwards. I miscounted a bit, Victoria thought that was careless and lacked respect for what she told me to do, so she picked up dreaded red ruler. I was still sitting at her desk - she told me to put my hands behind my back and then smacked the front of each of thighs twice. That stung like crazy. She picked up the martinette and asked me to follow her. We went through to the adjoining room. It felt easier this time, knowing what was there and having some idea what to expect. But I was still very nervous. Victoria was quicker this time. She sat on the day bed and didn't need to say more than something like "Naomi, over my knee". I did as I was told. There was a pause while she put on her leather glove on (not sure why she wears them) and gave me a long and hard spanking. I knew it was the warm up unfortunately. I didn't matter that I was crying and already felt well punished. Victoria told me to get up, it was straight over to the bench. As I faced the bench, she came up behind me and without warning tugged my suit up firmly, into my crack and exposing more bare bottom. I knew the drill. She fastened my hands. There was some short scolding and then she introduced the martinette to my bottom, first trailing over (I assume the build that horrible sense of anticipation) and then she whipped my ass. It was a strange kind of sting, it probably looked more intimidating than it felt. I'd describe as like a moderate jellyfish sting. This was nowhere near as bad at the hiding she gave me last time but still really punishing. She warned me that if there was a repeat she would cane me. She undid my arms and asked me to follow her to the study. She asked for the latex shorts and then applied loads of heat rub to to the inside. I was told to change into them. Then came the same finale paddling with her wooden paddle. This time she did it in the middle of her study, with me bent over with my hands on my knees. The fire built just like last time - my god, the combination of the shorts (which are apparently totally waterproof), the heat rub and the deep thuddy whacks with that paddle teaches a hell of lesson. We were done much more quickly this time. Victoria directed me to keep the shorts on over night (I debated coming clean about taking them off last time but couldn't face the further spanking that would follow; I know, you ERs will probably think I should have fessed up and taken the consequences). I went home and got some food and then crashed on the couch. But I did I was told and kept the shorts on under my nightie. I can say that the shorts absolutely work and not letting you forget the lesson you've just been taught. The heat is and enduring sting are remarkable. REFLECTIONS That second punishment was about a month ago. I have not been disciplined or needed to be since (although something has happened that means I will probably have to see her soon). I have thought a lot my two sessions with Victoria and also what I want to do when Jay, my regular ER, comes back from the States. In case anyone is interested....(and I'm always interested to hear whether my experiences resonate with others). There is something about the formality of seeing Victoria (the more formal setting, not being at home, the formal attire, the room set up for one purpose, furniture for one purpose) that I found very effective, psychologically, from the point of making the experience really punishing and frankly making getting punished even more of a deterrent. I think I have also found it very effective to have an ER who exudes authority and strictness. Not knowing Victoria has added to that. There is something, for me, that is effective about the cold, transactional, relatively businesslike approach - I am there to be disciplined and that's it. Maybe that also makes it easier for her to give me a good hiding - there's no emotional attachment. Victoria is stricter and her spankings have definitely been more severe. The perspex paddle and wooden paddle have been a step up (they are on par with my regular ER's delrin, maybe not quite as bad). I hate the position I'm in when on the bench, it hurts more as there feels like there is way less flesh. I realised that I can probably take more punishment than I'd realised (although I think my tolerance is low). Those more severe spankings have, I've got to admit, taught me greater lessons and provided even stronger incentives to keep on the right track. The over the knee and hand spankings have been new for me. I wouldn't want them from Jay but I've been impressed by how effective they are - I think some of that is that it feels very humbling to be put over a knee. It probably also helps me to get into the right head space for being punished. I was skeptical about having my arms restrained but I've actually found it okay (partly because I trusted Victoria and would never have contemplated that if I didn't). For me it probably helps me to focus and accept my punishment. Being made to wear the latex "hot shorts" combined with the heat rub is something I'd never heard of (she claims it's her invention) after a session has been horribly effective in driving the message home. It's hard to explain but they just make the sting last, they cling tightly to a tender and bruised bum and don't let me forget for a second that I've been spanked. They are terrible but effective. I am probably more comfortable being spanked by another woman. I don't feel self-conscious. I haven't really felt shy or embarrassed when I have to wear my one piece and even when she's raised it to basically bare my bottom. I also think that there is something I have found easier about having a female disciplinarian because she gets certain points around the issues I'm working on and the habits and I'm trying to eradicate that a guy (including my regular ER who knows me well) just wouldn't relate to as well. But I definitely really miss the more regular attention of an ER who's very involved in my life. I miss the more regular reporting and accountability when I need it. I find that proactively having to make appointments rather than having someone check up on me just isn't as effective for me. I also prefer my regular ER's approach to spanking in that he's very engaging, and there's lots of talk (once he's through what he calls the "punishment phase" and into the "learning phase"). Victoria tends to listen, lecture a bit and then administers the punishment without lots of dialogue. I am not yet sure when my ER will be back and I am going to have to visit Victoria again. I've talked to Jay about what will happen when he's back. I think we'll resume our arrangement but maybe he'll have the option of sending to me to see Victoria. We'll see. Naomi
    4 points
  10. I was spanked by a stranger for trespassing and mischief on his property back when I was 19 one summer evening. I choose a spanking over getting in trouble.
    4 points
  11. 4 points
  12. I agree with the above comment. Obviously I don't know the nature of your conversations or the people you are talking to, but if you are upfront at the very beginning it weeds out a lot of those you are incompatible with. You also have to realize this is the internet. People can easily lie and conceal who they are. Someone could easily say all the right things, just to end up being a liar. Also some people just disappear and others wont have the same intentions as you. The best thing is to keep expectations low and gradually increase them as the relationship grows.
    4 points
  13. OTK Spanking Perfectly perched across my lap, she offers herself. My Fingertips run across the back of her thighs, mapping her body, taking in her perfection. Plotting a masterpiece as I survey my canvas, I begin to lay the foundation. Placing even slaps across her corpulent cheeks, that ripple with every impact. Blushing her bottom a delicate rose pink. Rubbing her bottom with the palm of my hand, the skin on skin creating a connection between the two sharing the experience. Feeling her warmths as it radiates, acknowledging her readiness for more. So relaxed as she enjoys my attention. Me, soaking her in, her smell, her sounds, the erotic sensations that dance on my hands as I punish and sooth her ample cheeks, absorbing her completely. She is more than just a body. She is my instrument, dependent on the conductors abilities to make a symphony of experiences. Composing a voyage that takes her to her favorite places and to some never experienced before. Eventually landing her in her personal sub space, to savor the odyssey. DFWSpanker I tend to find spanking to be erotic as you can read. What is your experience with spanking?
    3 points
  14. The best role plays are the ones that the players feel the most comfortable in the roles. The best I ever done was with a 29 year old girl when I was 49 or 50 years old. I will call her Jane. She was not spanked growing up but had a few friends that were. She told me a story about a friend who got a severe hairbrush spanking for something they did together. To the best of my memory, she was 16 years old at the time. It does not matter what they did, but both were guilty. Her friend got spanked inside their house while she waited on their front porch. The friend later told her she got spanked bare butt with a hairbrush and Jane could hear it happening from outside the house. Then the girl's Dad drove Jane home and told her parents about the trouble the 2 girls had caused. She only got yelled at. Of course Jane was interested in spanking. That is the reason we met, but she also felt guilty because her friend was punished and she was not. So our role play is Jane at her present day age of 29 and I play the part of her friend's Dad. She comes to my house (actually we are in a motel) and asks to speak with me. Then she asks if I remember the incident I had spanked my daughter for before taking Jane home that day. I say I remember and what about it. Jane tells me how guilty she feels because she was never punished and asks me to punish her just like I had my daughter that day. I decline at first, saying her discipline was not my responsibility, but she quickly changes my mind, saying she was not an adult and pleaded with me to finally relieve her guilt. What is a middle aged man to do when a young lady is begging for a spanking? So I let her know I only spank bare bottom and if she agrees to go over my knee, the spanking will not be over until I say. She agrees and reminds me I had spanked my daughter with a hairbrush and says she wants the same. So I sit in a desk chair, have her drop her slacks and go across my lap. This girl had a high tolerance and although she usually cried after a discipline spanking, it was not usually until the spanking was over and I cuddled with her. This time, the water works came before I finished her spanking. This was my favorite all time role play because having a girl ask for a spanking was one of my fantasies and she got the emotional release she needed.
    3 points
  15. I was reeeeally busy with work...so this took forever to finish It's the second short story from my graphic novel about my spanko experiences in college...this one's about the first Little I met and how it sparked my own Little tendencies... The PDF versions are on my web site http://www.ruderumps.byethost7.com/index_cts.html You can also read it on the spankingartwiki https://spankingart.org/wiki/Rude_Rumps
    3 points
  16. UPDATE: If anyone here needs to reach me, I am on FetLife, under the same username, Chawsee. While I am also a member of Jillian Keenan's Patreon group "Kinking Out Loud," and I really enjoy her videos (when I have the time to watch them), I don't find that site to be the interactive community that I thought it was. Or perhaps I just don't know what the heck I'm doing? 🤔😁
    3 points
  17. Hi everyone, sorry for the strange editing, it‘s my first post and I don’t know how to change it... I'm curious if anyone else here feels this way: I'm a female spankee and in my imagination it was always a man being spanked by another man. Also, my favorite spanking stories have always been male/male. A few months ago I found my boyfriend who loves to spank me and while it's a wonderful and very satisfying experience, sometimes I feel like something's missing. The main part of my fantasies has always been the scolding of a young man and when he now calls me young lady, these seem to be the wrong words for me and my headspace. And don't get me wrong, apart from my spanking life, I'm very happy with my gender - only here I sometimes get confused. Anyone has similar experiences or thoughts on this topic?
    3 points
  18. Ahhh the tummy flip @ the notion of “Don’t make me pull this car over.” This is a fun topic. 😁
    3 points
  19. My b f when we were teens kept a board like a paddle in his truck he would spank me with-it if i sassed him or did something he didn't like it was usually right in his truck since i am a small girl but a few times he went tothe woods took me out of truck for a even harder paddling
    3 points
  20. My wife spanking me may have very well saved our marriage.
    3 points
  21. lol...nice... one great F/M spanking scenario I read about (am sure it wasn't true) was of a husband or bf getting pulled over for speeding by a female police officer... his wife/gf was furious that he had been speeding and told the officer she was telling him to slow down, but he wouldn't listen.. she pleaded though for the officer not to ticket him, and said she'd deal with it at home by giving him a sound spanking on his bare bottom... the intrigued female officer chuckled and said 'why wait til you get home, and not just do it here and now?'... next thing he knows, he's standing by the passenger backseat door, getting his pants pulled down by the angry wife/gf as the police officer looks on with a smile... then over her knee for a sound spanking.. LOL as I said, I doubt it happened for real, but while at it, why not have him come out and stand with his hands on the car roof while the police officer uses her belt on his rear end to sear the lesson home as well my guess is there are some counties in the US where such a thing may still fly LOL
    3 points
  22. Not in the back seat, but in the passenger seat, with the door open and my legs sticking out. It was a bright Yukon summer night and we had just left our friends' house, where we had dinner, and Madame was quite tipsy. I was sober and driving. Near the end of the their long dirt road driveway, about a hundred feet fromt he highway, she told me to pull over, and come around to her side. I had to take my belt out and give it to her and then down came my pants. It wasn't a severe spanking, but it was memorable for the circumstances.
    3 points
  23. Happy Birthday to me!! Another year to sass and have fun!!!
    3 points
  24. I try to video chat anyone im serious about meeting. Tends to weed out any catfish. I tend to deal with more flakes and ghosters, rather than catfish on this site. Though I feel your pain it sucks when somebody completely wastes your time.
    3 points
  25. Nerd response: It has to do with the various types of responses by nerve endings combined with blood flow and types of impact. https://medium.com/sexography/the-neuroscience-of-spanking-fc1f78f889fe
    3 points
  26. medical scenarios are fun. step-parent scenarios. camp counselor scenarios -- overseer counselor and junior counselor. newlyweds in the 1950s on their wedding night or honeymoon can be a lot of fun. so many fun and exciting possibilities! I'm someone who really enjoys playing.
    3 points
  27. It has to be a real reason. Sure I can “make up” a reason just because I can, I’ve never met an ee that protested in earnest, but real reason = real spanking, emotions etc.
    3 points
  28. For me it usually involves -real- infractions such as shoplifting, speeding, bad grades and similar. I can spank for fun as well, but I feel it adds a significant amount of realism if there is an actual reason. for real reasons it’s easier to be in “character,” vs role playing. Atleast seems to me it’s easier.
    3 points
  29. I feel like safe words are pretty mandatory especially when you are developing a relationship with a spanker/spanked. The simplest one to use is the red light system I think. It's easy to communicate even in the midst of a solid spanking. I have had a few people tell me they would rather not use one and prefer I decide. Still it's a tool for the sub to have when needed.
    3 points
  30. I do not see being spanked as a sign of submissiveness, at least not for stress relief spankings. To me it is a need being met. I am in a leadership role at work, and my marriage is a true partnership. I am confident about my skills and what I bring to the table. I have no desire to be dominated, but getting spanked is a wonderful feeling.
    3 points
  31. I prefer to be submissive but when I switch it feels so natural to me. I can honestly say spanking men and women is definitely a pleasure for me and i enjoy taking a more dominant role every once and awhile.
    3 points
  32. I agree, and this is among spankos who discuss their spanking relationships. I have a vanilla wife who spanks me because she feels I need to be punished, and I discuss it in forums like these because I am a spanko who enjoys talking and thinking about spankings, even punishment spankings that are very unpleasant to get. I look at the behavior in other couples around me and I can't help wonder how many vanilla wives spank their vanilla husbands just because it needs to be done, and both husband and wife keep their mouths firmly shut about this embarrassing situation...
    3 points
  33. 3 points
  34. My now ex wife found my spanking porn, and when I got home from worked order me to take my pants down and and bend over. That is how we started. she was a little petite lady, but with proper preparation, and the right tools she could give a really good licking. I made collapsible frame that had ankle and wrist cuffs that could be slipped under a living room chair. Then she could restrain me bent over the back of the chair. It was a good 10 years but eventually we split up
    3 points
  35. Agreed, shame there aren't more men like that.
    3 points
  36. For me it's about consent. As in unless you at some sort of party or event, nobody in public consented to watching you be spanked. You are forcing your kink on them.
    3 points
  37. Fully agree. I don't know why a lot more alpha males don't do this.
    3 points
  38. I have a memory about that It was the late 70s...so I was probably 10 or 11...and my dad took me and my friend to this special event at the movie theater...they were showing 3d movies...I'd never seen one before...we got the special glasses and popcorn and stuff... there were some short movies at the start with things like knives and arrows coming right at you...we oohed and ahhed...then the main feature started...it was Kiss Me Kate in 3d...I didn't know anything about the movie...but it seemed like some boring old movie...and as it got into it I started getting a headache from the glasses...so I was kind of zoning out...but then suddenly there was a spanking!! In 3d!! I was riveted... then of course I got very embarrassed...I was convinced EVERYONE in the theater saw how I reacted... I saw the movie again on tv when I was older...and it was actually a very good movie...made even better by the spanking But it was even better seeing it for the very first time in a dark theater...in 3d!!
    3 points
  39. Hi, I've just signed up to the site. Hoping I'll be able to chat with some nice, interesting people who get this whole spanky thing. I'm a student in the UK, currently in a spanking relationship with an older guy. Would love to chat xx
    3 points
  40. Not a fan. Even disciplinary spankings for me need a slower build up to avoid it being too short and/or causing significant bruising. It can absolutely be a very intense disciplinary spanking with a bit of build-up. It takes me time to get into the right mindspace and eventually to get to guilt release and that catharsis I seem to need periodically.
    3 points
  41. By all means, put that information up front. I’m married, very happily, to a vanilla who understands that this is a deep part of me and I couldn’t change that any more than I could change my eye color. I have her informed consent after living years trying to fit in. She’s ok if I spank her for fun but knows going beyond that is part of who I am. I have not spanked even one woman who didn’t know that. I’ve certainly been told “if I weren’t married”…. And that’s fine. One size does not fit all. Be honest and let the chips fall where they may.
    3 points
  42. My favorite to use and receive is about 2” wide, pretty thick, very worn and soft. Folded over it has some weight, but contours well to the bottom. The pain level is really based on how hard and fast it is used. nothing like a long hard belt spanking .. the sight, sounds and sensations all make it a real experience.
    3 points
  43. Yes, I admire spankers like BatmanC. But it's kinda terrifying if you're the one getting spanked. If BatmanC can overcome all the obstacles I put in the way and still deliver a hard painfull spanking then I'm helpless and defeated. All I can do is cry, I guess, and hope it ends soon. And it's great you enjoy it so much because you really deserve it.
    3 points
  44. This is great. We need more spankers who openly admit that giving a spanking is fun. Many are so serious all the time. I much prefer to be spanked by someone having the time of their life spanking me.
    2 points
  45. My wife spanking me has no effect on our ordinary sexual relationship. Sometimes I may get an erection prior to going over her knees but she pays it no attention and it quickly disappears once the spanking begins.
    2 points
  46. Gosh how can you not clench, squirm and teeter totter when your bottom is being lit on fire?!!
    2 points
  47. I am a spanker and I love seeing clenching. It really give me some adrenaline rush. The feel of the hardened bottom is heaven for me
    2 points
  48. This topic was such a turn on!! I love giving spankings!
    2 points
  49. As a Spanker, I have spanked a few married women. As you have done, its important to make it clear that it is non-sexual. A couple of them wanted to keep it a secret from their husband and hiding a spanked bottom was certainly stressful to them. The other that informed her husband knew that her husband didnt like it, but went along with it. Your kinda damned if you do or damned if you dont - I wish there was an easy answer for you...
    2 points
  50. 2 points
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