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Such good answers to this but to give my feeling of maintenance spankings for me, It is something I feel like i need for my mental well being. I crave it anymore and if i go a long period of time without one i become a real pain. I feel like its a combination of stress release and like Candyapplered said, that sometimes you need that type of closeness or bond with someone. Anyway I know i didnt add anything new to the conversation cause its been covered so wel by others but thats my view.. thank yall!!

I think maintenance can be good. Obviously, people are in this because they feel the need for spankings. If the spankee goes a long time between them, it may cause them to feel the need to act out in order to get one. Also, maybe someone hasn't behaved badly enough to receive a disciplinary spanking, but they may just be slipping a little and maintenance is a way to reign them back in so to speak, before the behavior gets worse. When a mentor spanks their mentee, it can be a time of bonding. Many crave that. If someone is offering to be a mentor, this needs to be a priority.

If he's been doing it since before he met his girlfriend and she still doesn't know, that means he never even brought it up with her. How can he know she wouldn't understand, if he never even tried to tell her? What he's doing is the opposite of open communication. If you're all for open communication, do you really want to do this with someone who's neglecting it?

Hello friends, Im melanie and 38 year old married stay at home mom. Im a spankee who enjoys the sensation but not through discipline but more for fun and then need. I have not been able to revisit though years lately since my gf moved away but hope that I can make some friends here. Thank you.

Have you been able to watch your own spanking? It seems most spankee positions make this difficult. I guess video would be the best way but my wife says no using cameras in the bedroom. She doesn't trust that the content would always be private. Luckily I have been able to watch my wife spank me in the mirror. The angle is not great but it is quite a show. She is still learning so it's fun to watch her expressions and body language. I have not told her I can see her.

I am thinking yes. I know that I, as a spankee, sometimes do that. Two mornings ago, I let my husband down by forgetting to get our license plates renewed. I had said I would take care of it two months ago...put the paperwork in my back pack...then puff...life happened and I just forgot. My husband asked the night before if it had been done. He caught it in time, but because of my schedule I could no longer get it taken care of myself...so he had to take time away from work to do it...otherwise they would be expired. For us, this was very much a disciplinary spanking offense.So...yes...he tanned my hide but good. I bent over and got the school paddle over nothing but my panties, then arms over head and he wore my bare bottom and thighs out with his belt. No fun in this...I was bawling and wailing and not saying...."thank you"....but all I could say was...."I'm sorry...sorry" between sobs and yelps of many swats of the belt, and his continued lecturing comments as he punished me. Afterwards. I found myself over his knee...getting a long hard hand spanking I thought would never end. So...now...as we have done done...I am on my knees in front of him, resting my head in his lap as he sits on the armless chair....and he is letting me cry it all out as he comforts me and strokes my hair. Well....I just want to show him my love...kind of make it up to him for the inconvenience my carelessness had caused him....so I start kissing his bulge and trying to undo his zipper with my teeth. Not a wise move....he definitely kept it disciplinary. While I knew he would like me to do that...I once again found myself back over his knee and getting spanked with his hand again...for trying to turn this spanking into a sexual moment. He made it clear..."that" would have to wait until later...and that "this" was all about disciplining me. I wound up red butt, arms folded behind my back, nose in the corner...while he took a shower....alone without me. I was allowed to shower after he had dressed and was walking out the doirvto go to the BMV and then work. I later apologized to him...we have been having more sexual erotic spankings of late, and I guess I just kind of forgot...we are still very much in agreement to continue our disciplinary dynamic. I blurred the line between the two...but it is good he remained strong and kept us on the right path for us. I was sore all day yesterday and slept on my tummy last night...but...I deserved it and I am glad he is a strong living man for me when I need it most. Do any of you sometimes have lines blur between disciplinary and sexual spankings? Just curious.

Where do fellow subs/switches stand (no pun intended) on being barefoot for spankings. I always like it as it helps with the feeling of vulnerability.

Yes, i love that limo spanking in Weeds!

Yeah I don't think we're at the point where either AI chats or photos are identical from real ones. We'll probably get there, but for now just make sure you're capable of telling the difference and watch out for red flags/warning signs.

Is anyone here interested in temperature taking? It's very much a trope in a lot of spanking fiction -- having one's temperature taken in that particular embarrassing way. Has anyone included that as part of their spanking life or had fantasies about it? I bring it up because it's a part of my kinks. Lots of other ways to involve that very private spot during a spanking too of course. Do others like plugs, fingers, etc., as part of a spanking?

If you post a copy, I'll be the first to watch.

I feel the same, minus funishment. My Mentor started them awhile ago, weekly, but it has been a few months. Then again, I've been good for a long time. He reconsidered one I'd earned recently, as I'd argued I had fair reason to use the F-word. ( we are online long distance, so he cannot force me. Some may say then it's not "real", but I believe in consent that gives the spankee some latitude. The rules have to be follow-able and reasonable. I have a pretty good sense of personal responsibility, and I will admit if I'm going through a patch, and he's being too lenient.

Tank with Jenilee Harrison getting a belt whipping

Welcome. Here’s hoping you make many accepting friends here.

Hello Im also from Chicago, born near Midway! ive lived here most of my life beside my time in the army ive always been curious to things but always nervous about exploring it until recently and its become explore while i have time and lemme tell you its alot to take in

Welcome to the group!

I have no preference in terms of vulnerability, but since my toes often are cold, I do like socks sometimes.

Thanks for your input @Melanie00. I agree. We all have reasons why we feel we need spankings. Sometimes they can relieve stress or just help us focus when we are overwhelmed with emotions. My answer was just my humble opinion. Some people may not need maintenance or frequent spankings, so I can only speak for myself.

I completely agree with you candy!

Or, if you do want to play with other people, find someone who's either single or has their partner's enthusiastic consent to do this with others.

Hello Melanie, welcome to the site, I am near Lansing Michigan if you care to chat. Have fun, be careful 🙂 Rick.

And some of the same people who say their need for spanking is not sexual also say spanking replaces sex for them. Or that they're simply not much interested in sex. Sexuality isn't always about sex. That's what makes it so complex.

Wonderful!! My name is Jim and I live on Vancouver Island, BC. I live in a FLR relationship with my wife. Discipline is not a particularly regular thing in our household, mostly because discipline most definitely works (corporal punishment) and I have been conditioned and I am well-behaved and a husband who serves his wife well. On the odd occasion when I misbehave or behave inappropriately, I will be punished just as a reminder. If I misbehave or otherwise cause displeasure while we are out, my wife tells me that I should expect a thrashing as soon as we get home. My heart always sinks with those words and she always delivers on the promise regardless of how many times I apologise on the way home. The "thrashing" will usually be administered over the arm of an easy chair and with a thick leather strap (her choice of implement) and could be anything between 12 and 36 strokes (usually a multiple of 12). Please let me know about your own experiences! Jim

Would anyone choose a spanking relationship at all if it weren't part of their sexuality? I rather doubt it.

Yes.

I agree. In my case, my EE spanked only when she thought discipline was “earned” by my misbehavior. But, since spanking is erotic for me, I occasionally would intentionally misbehave to get one. These spankings, it turned out most of the time were not erotic for me at the time, but were erotic only in retrospect as I recalled the experience. If she suspected I had intentionally bratted (and she was usually very good at catching me trying intentionally to provoke her) the result was such severe punishment that it wasn’t fun at all at the time. For her, spanking was not erotic, although she did enjoy it. She did it because she realized that it was a highly effective tool to keep me in line and under her control.

Something striking me when I read over this thread is how many people have religious conflicts with their spanking desires, and how hard those conflicts make it to be open about it, let alone find anyone. For me, not being religious in that way, there was never that conflict, but it's still not been easy to admit it to myself, let alone others. I'm still barely there.

Just curious as to the context of the proposed spankings? If we are talking correction and punishment it may be less of an issue.

I'm fooling around with a platform-independent spanking generator, as the ones that exist are all PC programs with varying compatibility issues. If possible, I'd like to integrate it with a task tracker, creating a virtual disciplinarian. The idea would be that you'd set up certain things that you will do and certain things you won't do, and when you run the program it quizzes you on whether you've been following your rules, and assigns self-spanking based on how much you've messed up. What I'm curious about is what kind of features people would like to see in such a program. Right now what I've got either implemented or planned are these: -Choice of two disciplinary avatars, male or female. -Selection of which implements you have available. -Largely verbal interface, answering questions from the program rather than ticking boxes, and multiple scolding phrases and lines. -Varying levels of severity, including a "random" option. -Additional punishments possible, including corner time, Icy Hot, early bedtime, followup spankings, possibly more. -Help file with tips on making self-spanking effective. I don't have the task tracker integration set up yet, and that might require demonstrating that this is a viable product in order to get some real coders on board, but I'd love to get the opinions of folks on this board about what they'd like to see in such a program. What am I overlooking? What would serve you best?

Many years ago, a girlfriend had enough of my little fit of road rage on a vacation. When we checked into a motel for the night, she told me off good and then ordered me to take my pants and underwear down and bend over the bed. I did as she commanded and had my own belt used on me to very memorable effect. I was a good boy the rest of the trip.

A maintenance spanking is a spanking given on a regular basis not as punishment for any specific thing, that's different, but to remind the submissive or his (or her) place and help him or her better understand the concept of submission. As a teen my sisters and brother and I got a spanking from our mother weekly for no other reason but to keep us in line. It was the forerunner of today's "maintenance spanking." Here's one way to do it. My male submissive who is also a femboy, knows that he will receive his maintenance spanking every Saturday night at 8 PM sharp. Sometime during the day I inform him which instrument I will use because he has to bring it to me. Sometimes I put him in restraints and when I decide to do it I tell him to come to me with the wrist and ankle cuffs on. They are leather. I attach his wrists and ankles to the spanking bench with chains secured to the cuffs. In any event when he arrives he is to say "I am ready for my maintenance spanking mistress. Please give to to me." He gives me either the belt, strap or switch. I have a paddle I rarely use and I cane I also rarely use. I will specify which strap if that's my choice. Some times I order him to choose the instrument. He prefers the medium width leather spanking strap. I then tell him to prepare himself. He removes his pants and pantyhose. If he is wearing a skirt he removes the pantyhose. He then positions himself bent over the large chair or if I decide on restraints, he positions himself over the bench. When I decide to use restraints I always invite either his step sister over or another woman who is part of our circle. She is to secure him to the bench and will also be allowed to apply some of the strokes. On a no-restraints night after he has removed whatever clothing items I have ordered off, he bends over the easy chair and grips the arms. Then he is instructed to say "I am ready for the strap mistress. Please give it to me." I then position myself behind him and with no delay began to give him the strap. He has to count them out and say "Thank you mistress, May I please have another." After 15 lashes or strokes I stop. He knows then that it's time to pull down his panties which he does. Then he says, "I've lowered my panties mistress. Please continue with my spanking." I then give him. 10 more and if my step sister is present I allow her to give him an additional 5. When I'm done he is to say "Thank you for the spanking mistress. I am fortunate that you gave it to me." He then puts his panties and pantyhose on but no pants if he was wearing them. If a short skirt he lowers it and goes into the TV room. He is allowed to watch TV with his step sister or whomever else is there. At precisely 9:30 he is to get up and go to the large bedroom he shares with me. When there either his step sister or I instruct him remove his clothing and lay down to be diapered. One of us puts a diaper on him. I also use the disposables. Then he is put in tight plastic panties and given his nightgown. If he's not wearing a diaper, which is off and on, he wears panties and a nightgown. If he's diapered he wears a shorty nightgown or a sleep shirt. At first I used to put him or have him put himself in ankle restraints which I then attached to the bed with a long, leather leash. Now I do it once in awhile for disciplinary or training reasons. I forgot mention that he always wears his collar and if he is leashed for the spanking I just let the leash hang loose. I often have him on the leash around the house bu at night before bed I take it off. That's the way we do it every week. The spankings when he is restrained are no different than when he isn't. Sometimes he even asks to be restrained. Two things always happen. He gets very hard during the spanking and I am already wet when he knocks on my door. I wear a pad in my panties. He often has a boner when we start and sometimes it stays hard throughout but he almost always gets hard when I'm done.