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Showing content with the highest reputation on 02/07/20 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    I just began reading Sex with Shakespear and can't put the book down. (Thank you to those here on SN who recommended it!) I like Jillian Keenan's insights and I agree with everything she said in the video above. I was born with a spanking fetish; my former husband was not. He got into the game with me because it aroused me so much that it made for dynamite sex. It did work for us, so it's certainly possible. If your mate enjoys it at least some of the time, you're not entirely doomed. But for me, spanking was/is a MUST. For him, it was something he went along with for the fringe benefit it provided. Later, after my divorce, I had two different boyfriends who were not at all interested in spanking, and that didn't work for me. The fetishist is often the one who suffers in such pairings, repressing their needs to the point of frustration. Personally, I would never enter another serious relationship unless the man in question also shared this fetish. I believe the happiest couplings are with those who both crave it.
  2. 1 point
    This is a guide I wish had existed before I got my first punishment spanking. I was very ignorant, and very terrified! I'm posting it here so I can link to it next time I see one of those "I'm going to get my first spanking--Halp!!" threads. If you want to copy and send it to a new ee or just post it somewhere, please go ahead. You don't have to credit me. So you entered into a power exchange relationship with someone. You agreed on rules and consequences. Maybe you thought those consequences would never come to pass, but here you are. Your top, dom, Daddy, or whoever you answer to has decided that you deserve to be punished, and that punishment has to be a spanking. What do you do now? The answer may have seemed obvious before: you bend over and take your spanking. End of story. But now that you're facing the reality of punishment, you have worries and questions. That's only natural. Everyone who was new to spanking at some point feared and wondered the same things. What's Going To Happen? This is a great question to ask your top. Some disciplinarians have elaborate punishment rituals, while others are much more informal. For the purposes of this article, we're going to assume that you have a wise and benevolent spanker who welcomes communication and wants to help you take your spanking as best you can. They should prepare you for what's going to happen, and let you know what will be expected of you. What's Not Going To Happen? If you expect your disciplinarian to spend a lot of time fussing over you and reassuring you before your first spanking, you're probably going to be disappointed. I'll save you both some time by responding to what are probably your two top concerns: "How much is it going to hurt?" More than you want it to. "But I'm scared!" You should be. If you're so frightened you feel like you're going to vomit or pass out, let your top know, and they'll help you. Spankings should be scary, but they shouldn't be THAT scary. Just be aware that "help" in this context may not be cuddling and reassuring words. It may just be a mercifully prompt beginning to your punishment, so you won't have to wait and fret anymore. Questions To Ask Until you're actually bent over the spanking horse or your disciplinarian's lap getting your butt blistered, you won't know for certain how you'll react. It's best to prepare for possible eventualities by talking to your top beforehand. For example, what happens if you swear? A lot of people instinctively curse when they experience pain. Is your top going to wash your mouth out with soap if you start swearing? Will curse words earn you extra swats? Or will your spanker just laugh? It's worth noting that while some disciplinarians let swearing in general slide, I have never met one yet who tolerates being sworn at. There's a difference between "fuck" and "fuck you," and it would be a good idea to prepare yourself to remember that, even under duress. Another thing to ask is what happens if you move out of position. Are you going to be calmly but firmly reminded to hold still, or is your spanking going to start over from the beginning? Will kicking, squirming, or attempts to block spanks with your hand earn you extra punishment? It's also good to ask for any clarification you may need about your disciplinarian's practices and expectations of you. Are you expected to count strokes aloud? Will you be told in advance how many swats you're going to get, or is not knowing when the spanking will end part of the discipline? What should you do if something goes dramatically wrong, such as your feeling like you're going to be sick, or a spank has landed badly and you feel you're genuinely injured? Your dynamic may require that you accept your punishment without protest, but you should always be welcome to communicate and ask questions--provided you're not just asking questions to stall. Surviving the Wait For some spankees, the anticipation of a spanking is worse than the actual spanking itself. This is particularly likely to be true if this is the first time you've been spanked. Keep in mind that half of what you're fearing is just the unknown. Ask questions and trust your disciplinarian to be sensible and fair, and some of that fear should dissipate. You may be tempted to tell every kinky friend you've got about your impending sentence, in the hopes that talking about it may help reduce the anxiety. And maybe it will. Beware of others' "war stories," however. It is not helpful for someone to say, "Oh, I remember my first spanking! It was soooooo bad . . ." but you might be surprised at how many people will respond in just that way. Remember that dramatic stories make for better telling, and that your friend may be exaggerating for effect. Also keep in mind that they are not you. Just because they received 100 strokes of the cane and 500 with a flogger during their first spanking doesn't mean that you will. Your experience will be your own. Long Waits Some of us live long distances from our disciplinarians, or have other reasons that necessitate a long wait between a punishment's pronouncement and its execution. If you're the anxious type, as I am, this can be very, very hard to take. My advice, as a fellow anxious person, is to do two apparently contradictory things: try not to think about it, and try to make your dread useful. Keeping busy and minimizing the amount of time you stare off into space, letting your thoughts wander, will help keep you from ruminating. I turn on the TV as I fall asleep so I have something benign to think about as I get drowsy. During those times when you can't help but think about your impending punishment, try to work to just accept it. After all, unless you want out of your dynamic altogether, there's no way to avoid it. Take responsibility, admit you deserve to feel bad right now, and resolve to do better in the future. This is easier said than done, but sucking it up and accepting what you have coming will help you become the best version of yourself you can be. Short Waits The day is here, the spanking is coming. It's just not happening quite yet. Maybe your disciplinarian has sent you to your room or to the corner to think about what you did, and what the consequences will be. Practice acceptance, as I mentioned above, but also check in with yourself to make sure you don't get overwhelmed. After all, your top hasn't even touched you yet! Remember to breathe. If you're very anxious, breathe in for a slow count of four, and breathe out for a slow count of six. Focus on your breath, and the sensations in your body. Is your heart hammering? Are your hands sweaty? Those are just signs of anxiety, and while it's unpleasant, anxiety never killed anyone. Focus on your surroundings. Feel your feet in your shoes, your hands at your sides. Even if you're standing in the corner, you can pick a paint speck or bump on the wall to fasten on. Listen to your breathing, and any ambient sounds in the room. Pick a mantra. This can be a short prayer (I sometimes use the Hail Mary), or brief statement of purpose, such as: "I will learn from this, and I will do better next time." There's also the famous passage from Dune, which I like a lot: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." These techniques can get you through those last agonizing minutes until the real punishment begins. Taking Your Spanking This is it: the moment you've been dreading. While the spanking lasts and for some while after, you're going to be absolutely miserable. It's okay to hate it. In fact, hating it is the point. Keep in mind though (as far as you can keep anything in mind when your tail is being lit up), that the pain won't last forever. It will fade, and when it does, the slate will be wiped clean. Remember to keep breathing while you're being spanked. It's easy to forget to do this simple thing in the stress of the moment. If the pace of the spanking is slow enough, try to exhale when the swats land, and inhale during the wind-up. If you're getting a fast-paced spanking, just gasp along as best you can. Since you've already asked your disciplinarian what to do in case of an emergency, you know how to respond if you can't get enough air in and you start to feel dizzy. Do your best to hold still. This is a matter of safety as well as self-discipline. There are places on the body that are safe to strike, such as the cushy areas of the bottom and the backs of the thigs, and there are areas that are dangerous to strike, such as over the tailbone or the backs of the testicles. You do NOT want to jerk or squirm at the wrong moment and take a smack somewhere dangerous. If you really cannot hold resonably still, use your emergency signal and ask to be restrained for your own safety. Communicate as best you can. This may only be in the form of body language, or in grunts, cries, or sobs, but let your spanker know what is going on with you. It may seem more dignified or submissive to lie as silent and stoic as a log, but if you do, your disciplinarian may assume they're not getting through to you. (I am assuming that you are a well-intentioned person who is serious about accepting your discipline, and that you will not throw a dramatic fit in the hopes of getting your spanker to stop sooner. This is an ill-advised thing to do. If your top has any experience, they will know what you're trying to pull and respond accordingly. It's literally your ass on the line.) Aftermath And Aftercare Once the spanking is finally over, you may be sent to the corner or some other quiet place to cool down and consider your lesson. This is a chance to re-center yourself, and work out in your mind what you're going to tell your disciplinarian when they ask you for your plan to avoid problem behaviors in the future. Alternatively, your disciplinarian may feel that you've suffered enough, and an immediate expression of care and forgiveness is in order. They may hug you, bring you a warm blanket and a glass of water, or just leave you alone for a while, if that's how you calm down. Aftercare should leave you feeling soothed and as if you've got a fresh start ahead of you. Spanking is an intimate act, and aftercare is the most intimate part of all. Take time to enjoy it. Since you're no longer being punished, your top will probably respond postively to reasonable requests, such as for a tighter hug or a kiss on the forehead. As always, the experience will be more beneficial for you if you communicate your needs. And that will be that. The great thing about spanking as a punishment is that when it's over, it's over. You don't have weeks or months of dull grounding hanging over your head. You can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go back to living your life--sorer maybe, but hopefully wiser.
  3. 1 point
    I took my 15 min's and broke it into 1 min increments just to cancel out your scores. My boss said that was a fine hobby 108
  4. 1 point
    Each one has been tested very well
  5. 1 point
  6. 1 point
    Hi Everyone! I'm grateful to have found you guys. Just joined and am learning my way around. (Sure hope I'm posting this in the right place.) Like many of you, I've kept this "secret" for most of my life (over 40 years), and it can feel lonely at times. I finally came to terms with my need to build friendships with like-minded folks. I've visited umpteen forums, but this one had a noticeably nicer feel to it-- wholesome, trustworthy, safe. I'm not into other forms of BDSM, just spanking. Hope to meet y'all. Thanks for accepting me. :)
  7. 1 point
    An essential collection there John!
  8. 1 point
  9. 1 point
  10. 1 point
    Ready for a late night, lets win this EE’s!
  11. 1 point
    Think I am going to have to get COL to change my username. Thinking about Bestlittlegirlintheworld. This badgirl thing is to hard to pull off😂
  12. 1 point
    LongTimeSpanking covered so many good points, and I agree completely with what he said. To add my two cents, even though some spankings are not intended to be sexual, there is always, at least for me, a sexual undertone (I won't act on it, but I'm feeling it.) I therefore have no interest in spanking or being spanked by another woman. As to answering your question, I can vouch that we women are capable of delivering a mighty disciplinary session. Some spankers, both male and female, are downright cruel. I'm not referring to the physical technique so much as the psychological coercion. A spanker can be thoughtful, kind, and conscientious and still effectively dominate the spankee. I always wonder what 's going on in the minds of those who choose a hateful disciplinarian. Perhaps someone can shed some light on that?
  13. 1 point
    My only experiences with male spankers were in high school where our official school disciplinarian was a male, and I was also spanked by at least one male teacher. For disciplinary spankings outside of that situation, I have only had female spankers. It's never been sexual for me, but I am not interested at all in exposing my body to a male as an adult for purposes of being spanked. I do find that some female disciplinarians are very strict and can be quite intense. Anyone seeking a spanking should find someone to work with that they are compatible with on an emotional level, and who is kind and willing to tailor the spanking to the person's wants and needs, and able to give effective discipline without being cruel. Some people are OK with being spanked by either gender. Others are more comfortable with one gender or the other. It comes down to a matter of personal preference when it's intended to be a non-sexual situation. Since many of us feel that humiliation and embarrassment during a spanking are desirable and will enhance the overall experience, it may be easier for us to get those feelings when being disciplined by someone of opposite gender.
  14. 1 point
    Ah this is the big conundrum in many relationship issues where one has a need that the other is reluctant or won't provide... I freely admit I was a spanko years before I got involved with my wife but reticence on my part and inability to come to terms with that part of my life I continued my self spanking practices. Neither my wife and I had had reams of partners prior to us falling for each other so early on we tried many things out as we found what turned each other on experimenting as we went! Prior to the arrival of our children we spent many happy hours together because it was just us and everything was new and shiny!! My wife liked having her bottom rubbed and she would coo with pleasure as I massaged her curvy butt however when I gave her playful spankings she would only tolerate light slaps until she'd go "thats hurting!" When she returned the favour I'd urge her to spank a little harder but she would only do the odd few smacks then stop not that I'm complaining it was great! Thirty years later.....sex is an occasional treat but we are still much in love We have two wonderful children and we try just to nurture and support them the best we can!.... ....Spank wise I've fallen back to self spanking when I can! I have seen a guy in town who provided me with a few sore bottom whippings but that's dried up now....so do I still seek another to get my spanking fix? I will let you know! 😊 If you love and respect your partner I'm sure you'll find some compromise....good luck!
  15. 1 point
    OK, a huge IF here........... maybe a couple of IF's.......... IF you are good enough friends that you have already skirted around the subject without asking directly and had zero bad repercussions, and IF you believe that what she has said about nothing you could say or do changing your friendship, then it's time to cautiously kick it up a notch. Figure out a way to talk to her at a time when you are away from work and in a relaxed situation, and tell her that you are really feeling the need/want to be spanked is strong enough that you would like to act on it, and find a person who could be trusted to spank you in a non-sexual, safe and sane manner. Her response to that will guide you as to what you say next. If she finds it intriguing, maybe she would spank you if you asked her to. If she says that it would be difficult if not impossible to find someone like that , you will probably know she's not interested. If she asks if you have anyone in particular in mind, it's time to say that it's her because of the firmness, stern look and kindness she shows toward you. But you will never know which way she feels if you don't at least discuss it further. And you never know, there's a chance you will get the spanking you want and need. The only thing you need to be certain of before having this discussion is that she is sincere about saying nothing you could say or do would change the friendship.
  16. 1 point
    Maybe he doesn' t want his walker squashed when he accidently lets her slip off his frail lap???!!!
  17. 1 point
    You really believe that, FF? I think Granddaddy there wants a bit more than spanking. He might feel rather sprightly for 76! Good on him but he needs to be upfront if he wants more...
  18. 1 point
    Probably a good guess. I’m a short guy with limited lap but not THAT limited!
  19. 1 point
    Maybe he is a teeny tiny guy and he has a small lap ? 💁‍♂️ I dunno just surmising. 🤷‍♂️
  20. 1 point
    @Jaded was thinking same thing myself. What does being fit have to do with Spanking?
  21. 1 point
  22. 1 point
    I can't always cry Crying is a sign of truly giving in.............I've cried from a hand spanking and been barely anything from a paddle...........it's all about trust.......and I sooo crave the cry and stress release and .........power exchange........
  23. 1 point
    It can work provided that both people are able to understand each other's viewpoints and respectfully talk about their differences. My wife is quite vanilla and doesn't like to be spanked, but she is willing to allow me to spank others, and she is OK being spanked playfully. I would never ask to spank her hard because I know she doesn't like that and she has made it clear that she doesn't understand why people would want to be spanked like that. However, she does accept that it's possible for people to want to be spanked and to enjoy it even if it hurts. She has spanked me on occasion, and can give me a good hard spanking if she's upset enough about something, but I also know that she isn't really into it and I couldn't ask to be spanked really hard on a regular basis. For that reason, she's been OK with other women spanking me from time to time. She trusts me to keep this activity discreet, respectful and non sexual, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
  24. 1 point
    When starting a relationship, I think the ee should choose what they want to work on. Then I set the rules from there. As things progress, I think it’s fine to add safety rules that should be obvious (no texting driving (pet peeve of mine). Or health reasons (keeping important dr appts. Etc.) I’m not into micromanaging. Don’t have time for it, and the ee needs to WANT to change said behaviors, or it will never work.
  25. 1 point
    I think it best when my female spanker tells me in a very stern, non-nonsense tone to "pull down your pants". Sure I could resist and say no, or turn and run , but its because she has me totally captivated and in her control that I don't. The fact that she make me complicit in this spanking by following her instructions and pulling my pants down in front of her on her command, knowing she is about to spank me, just adds to her authority and her right to spank me. It is over the top embarrassing and a testament to her power when she tells me in that direct way to "pull down your pants" in front of another female. I'm about ready to die of embarrassment as I hear those words and I see the shocked (yet amused and excited) expressions of my female witness. I am the one pulling my own pants down on her command, and after that, it is up to my female spanker when (and if... but really "when") SHE decides to pull my underwear down and remove the last layer of my modesty. Of course my female witness(es) is(are) just beaming with excitement to witness my embarrassing predicament, and I blush a million shades of red as my underwear is lowered to the sheer delight of my pretty female audience. Yikes!!!
  26. 1 point
    I’m kinda weird about this. If my ER is a female, she can either strip me bare or tell me to undress. But if I were to go see a male ER, I wouldn’t want him taking off my clothes. I would have to do it myself.
  27. 1 point
    Sorry I've just started singing the title of this thread to the tune of Judas Priests Breaking the Law ...
  28. 1 point
    I've had both but the most effective version I had was being told to drop my trousers and then have the spanker pull my underpants down.
  29. 1 point
    Dana Delany, as in Exit to Eden. Lousy movie, but it had a pretty hot 5 minutes.
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