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Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/19/18 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    I posted this in a message to a friend the other day and thought that others may welcome the idea. I know there are days when I question or become disheartened about any number of facets of life nowadays. Many of us may have days when we feel misunderstood, unaccepted, undervalued because we feel like we have to hide part of who we are. This is a more general message, but worthy all the same. I exchanged a few Facebook IMs with the gentleman in this video after I saw it. Quite the beautiful soul and as you may hear, the voice to match. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCy8Cfvoe6g We all have value. We all deserve acceptance. We are all worthy of respect regardless of label - what we believe, where we reside, what we may look like, etc.. There is more light than darkness, more hope than fear. The only way we are truly lost is if we give in. Peace and love to you all.
  2. 2 points
    Peace and love to you as well! This is such an important message to keep in mind, especially now a days. Us humans have a tendency to see the worst in others and more so, ourselves. Stay positive and know we all have value!
  3. 2 points
    I had a rough go of it in the beginning and it only started going better when I quit obsessing over it. The less I bring it up the more receptive she is to giving me what I need. I'm not saying you shouldn't communicate openly about it, maybe just not as much if it's the major topic of discussion for you it's likely somewhat of a turnoff for her.
  4. 2 points
    So I am going to real direct. It sounds like you two have some communication issues and some difficulty establishing boundaries and communicating them. I would recommend slowing down a whole lot. Take the lead and offer to see a therapist to better understand what is going on with you...and invite her to come. You two clearly don't understand each other on this subject and it elevates emotions quickly. It took 10 years for me and my wife to get on the same page. My recommendation is patience, figure yourself out some, and make her feel valued in your life in other areas. Show her love and patience first and give her time to grow. The following recomendation I have may be comtroversial but please consider it. Don't look at spanking videos or images for a while. The psyology of it will start to mess with your brain...bad ideas start sounding good. She becomes unreasonable in your brain. So I would recommend taking a time out on sexual stimulating spanking scenarios. What that is only you know. Let your brain balance. Remeber this is your wife and is a whole lot more than just for sexual pleasure. Put the rest of her first and this will eventually follow. Hopefully you are able to do it faster than me. My opinion. It may be worth what you paid for it.
  5. 1 point
    Getting a real spanking can be so noisy, especially if you've been bad enough, or disrespectful enough, to have your disciplinarian send you to get the hairbrush and tell you those panties have to come down. What will the neighbors think? Has certainly run through a bad girl's or boy's humiliated mind as the spanking resumes and the sound carries-- to say nothing of the moans or cries inspired by the shame and sting. By neighbors, of course I mean any sorts of nearby bystanders, whether in a hotel, motel, resort, apartment, or townhome. Those hairbrushes, paddles, straps and belts can be loud, right? What have you done to muffle the sound, to minimize it? I have a few ideas about implements, masking and muffling, distracting sounds, etc. Perhaps this has been covered before, but lately? Couldn't find a recent thread. I'll start with this, inspired by the recent discussion i just read here about hairbrushes: I think, counter-intuitively, that the more solid, weighty ones, which tend to be older or vintage, may be quieter, and sting more, and be more feared and dreaded, than newer, lighter models of hairbrush. And yet, is sound an important aspect of the entire aesthetic? Yes, so completely noiseless wouldn't do, would it.
  6. 1 point
    Love this. Thanks for sharing.
  7. 1 point
    NZ traditions may vary with those in the USA. Most groups in the States meet either at a general restaurant-normal clothing-to get to know each other, or at a play party. If you have options I recommend going first to meet folks in a neutral area (restaurant etc) to know a few before you go to a party. Newbies starting at parties can find it overwhelming. I also suggest you talk to one of the gals, getting to know her and when the time comes to go a party she can introduce you around. Kink Clubs are into all soft of things, so keep in mind what you want to learn about first.... Best of luck as you step out. .
  8. 1 point
    That was very perceptive to consider her views rather than your own. Esp when one's needs can sometimes drive their actions. Perhaps you could suggest she consider joining our site, or reading posts. If she is concerned that she likes it or about hurting you, maybe having others to reach out to can help her. She can explore her concerns and desires with others who understand. But if you feel it would push her further away, then wait until she seems more receptive. You don't want to drive a deeper wedge. Take your time, be patient and communicate.
  9. 1 point
    Since Monday nights fight we have been sleeping separately & it has given me some time to think. Rather than focus on why I want it, I thought about why she doesn't want to .... #1 she is worried that a some time I'm going to want to spank her. Not the case, I have no desire to switch but I would do it if she wanted. #2 she is afraid of leaving marks. Why? No one else is going to see my bare butt. #3 she is afraid of liking it & going too far. She has admitted she likes to do it when she is genuinely annoyed at me. One time, when alcohol had lowered her inhibition, she delivered a hot CFNM hairbrush spanking that came close to my threshold & I think she might have crossed it if the hairbrush hadn't broken. #4 seeing it as embarrassing, "not normal sex", what would people think of her if they knew? I guess that would include a pro domme?
  10. 1 point
    Haven't been to one myself but if you're unsure, I see no harm in contacting them. I'm sure they would be happy to answer your questions.
  11. 1 point
    Thanks for the responses. First I realize I have way overthought this. Peek-a-Boo, thank you for the female perspective & Somthingrandom I appreciate your advice. Because my "hormone soaked" brain has been overwhelmed I cut off all porn & all other sexually arousing material & I'm just letting things cool down for a week or so. I hope to reestablish a real sexual connection before reintroducing any kind of "kink". I should also point out, we work together & are together 24/7. She owns our company & we run it together. So there is no absence to make the heart grow fonder. I am willing to do ANYTHING [sexual] for her but I think that is partially because I am sure she would not want anything dangerous or really off mainstream as in Peek-a-Boo's example. I'm glad I found this forum & hope to learn a lot more about myself & this kink/fetish we all enjoy. Thanks again
  12. 1 point
    For the first time ever, "Go Jets go!" Long live the whiteout.
  13. 1 point
    Sorry to hear that... But I think you need to ease her in slowly, and with outside opinions other than just you talking to her. While it's important to express your feelings and needs, she might be more receptive and act more rationally when explained to by someone else. Try sending her links to introductory BDSM posts, even ones from popular vanilla sites like Cosmopolitan, or videos from YouTube, and watch them with her. And then see if she's open to attending introductory workshops, ones that are maybe more explanatory and not demonstrative. And instead of scheduling a spanking session with a dominatrix right away, see if you can schedule a sit-down appointment with them first, and invite her to that. In general, it is frustrating to have partners that don't understand our needs, but it's useful to try to see things from their perspective. For example, imagine if your wife suddenly developed a kink for scat play and ask you to (pardon my language) shit on her, or ask you to go watch some other professional shit on her (assuming that this is not a kink you have)... Or some other kink that you might think are "too extreme". How would you like her to approach it with you if that's the case?
  14. 1 point
    You say that as if you don't know, dear boy.
  15. 1 point
    YES I have used it for stress relief. Not as good as really being over someone's knees but better than NO spanking. I think I will be doing it today.
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