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It's a mooning pumpkin but it sure looks spank ready to me.

Agreed, I don't like bratting at all, but I'll tolerate some, especially from less experienced folks. There are 2 main annoyances with bratting, for me. It implies that the person was misleading to me about how much pain they like. If we agree to a certain amount, and they start bratting to get it doubled from the very beginning, and continue to brat, it implies they were very dishonest about how much pain they wanted. For many people who top, myself included, a large reward is the reactions we get--and there's also a power trip component, at least for me. When someone does brats, gets punished, and then behaves much better--it's satisfying. When someone brats, gets punished, and doesn't do anything, it feels empty. Especially when they disagree with certain punishments. If you brat with me during spanking, you're probably going to get some sort of unpleasant non-spanking punishment. If that's an issue, do what I say. If you brat with a particular goal in mind, you're likely to leave everyone disappointed. Bratting is literally a form of manipulation. Not all bratting--some bratting is just part of mutually enjoyed roleplay. When just the bottom decides to brat, it's manipulation. They're trying to prey on your feelings of anger, frustration, and the feeling of losing control. Denny: Sounds like you learned a painful lesson. Your top might be willing to work with you again in a few months--if you're able to demonstrate a lot of growth and humility. If you're able to understand why you did what you did without excusing it. I think your best bet is to let this person go, and focus on working with other tops, switches or even bottoms (switching is easier than you think, a lot of people here would be happy to give you tips). I think you can learn a few lessons from this whole thing. Why did you want to brat? Do you want to feel "admonished"? Do you enjoy the roleplay aspect? Be polite. Very few tops enjoy direct attacks or complete defiance. Say please and thank you (I've cut people off for not thanking me at all through a whole session). Communicate more. Make sure you're clear about what you want (and how unsure you are about what you want). Make sure you understand what's expected of you. Do you like to be punished for misbehavior during a session? All of these desires can be taken care of if you communicate them the right way. There are tops that enjoy roleplaying and scolding. There are tops who would be happy to give you a difficult task during a session that you would definitely be punished for. You could be asked to hold a difficult position (like a ball on your head, or a coin against the wall with your nose), with punishments for every mistake. You could agree to play a game ahead of time with punishment for mistakes. Solitaire with punishment every time you use the "help". Basketball with punishment for every time you miss out of 100 free throws. Some video game with punishment every time you die before getting to a certain level. Learn your lessons, explore yourself, and try to find some new people. Good luck!

I'm in GA... Would like to help those who need a bare bottom spanking.

Imagine walking to your hotel room and seeing this on a door. Or worse, yours.

Ours is very much DD in no way has it ever been a prelude to intimacy. And no it was not a set up by him, Jeffrey at times has some real manic outbursts when he is frustrated and let me say that i do not always react in the same way. He does have a diagnosis of manic depression. but when on his meds he is pretty much in control of his behavior, But i know him better than anyone and there are times when he is suffering a outburst from this Manic and we have a system in place that we try to deploy to acknowledge the red flags of the manic or depression starting to swing into a extreme that can lead to his not feeling in control and scared. More times than not it does not result in any kind of DD. But after he is warned and he realizes he is possibly sliding into a rough moment and then proceeds to engage in behavior that he knows is going to most likely perpetuate the problem and rather than take a breather and go relax or walk or exercise but instead chooses in this case to antagonize the other {my sis} and then she politely asks him to please settle down and take a breather so to take ahold of his emotions and i am always available to help him re focus and we have in 20 years worked out systems that works. But he will just get stub urn and make the wrong choice i have to evaluate the entire situation with objectiveness and make a call as well he is always part of the talk first to confirm he thinks that indeed some repercussions are in order then we proceed. But he was trying to be a overly macho snotty bratt in a place that he was sure in mind would not result in any DD at that moment as its always been dealt with later. He essentially made a scene thinking i would just allow it to pass and let my sister think he can just walk all over the boundary’s that all of us consider well defined and not face the music at that very moment. well this time i chose a very difficult path. It was not fun nor was it pretty. But i am his friend , his helper and his wife and for the good of all concerned i helped him and maintained or i should say restored order of respect and boundary’s in that situation. I know he has a need to be spanked and i am totally as far removed from that myself now as when he talked to me openly about his this craving as he called it 20 years ago. So in order to provide that first level of spanking needs i employ a maintenance schedule i will scold him a bit during to remind him of some things that i or both us have noted are sometimes re accruing. And as i have come to learn Males are pretty much on the whole all teens in adult bodies. The day that i since that its a game or there is no positive outcome i will not engage as it would not be in his best interest. We had to figure this all out our own selves and had no idea of so called spanko communities etc. this site last year was the first place he and i had ever seen that focused on this any others were just so not us and so not us. let there be no question his BUTT bottom belongs to me as he signed it away 20 years ago and he can take it back anytime he chooses but that is the end of the DD dynamic if he does.. I have never ever voiced publicly like this now today. Im very shy and reserved and a recluse. I am the worship leader in the same church i grew up in since a pre teen girl

That's it, that's all.

Hi there, I'm a british lad who since his early years have been curious about spanking. I've amused myself and toyed with the idea but never quite had the courage to follow through with the idea, and hey you only live once am I right? I'm a friendly guy who enjoys talking to like minded people and enjoys making friends. I hope that you all accept me as one of your own and I look forward to talking about spanking with you all. Kindest regards spank2309

The birch, like the cane, requires a LOT of practice to be able to take well (and eroticize) You have to be okay with welts and marks that last for weeks (I like marks and being marked) For the level of excitement I feel the pain of learning is well worth it. A good spanker will bring you to the edge and a little beyond your comfort zone without ever putting you in real agony or distress. That is my bottom in my profile photo after a moderate caning. I wish I had some post-birching photos to share. Enjoy what you can enjoy... you might want to try the birch again with a partner who will bring you along gradually.

Hey everyone, My screen name may imply to you that I am strictly more dominant, but in fact, that is more my online persona for my online activities. So this question is for the submissive in me who needs to experience her first real spanking. I am so anxious though and have so many butterflies thinking about actually pursuing this desire ... I am single, don't know anyone into this particular interest, and would actually prefer it not to be someone that I already know already, just to keep things separated a bit, if that makes sense. So I just have a few questions about your first ADULT spanking, by someone you had only met for the purpose of them spanking you. 1. How did you meet this person? Especially if online, how did you know you could trust this person not to be totally sketchy? 2. Is there anyone in the Carolinas or surrounding states who hosts someone for a spanking? Or even better, is someone spanked by someone in this area who is willing to introduce me to someone that has spanked them before. So more like a "mutual friend" than a total stranger? 3. Was your first spanking an "ease you into it" spanking or was it very serious, and very much a punishment from the first spanking you received? 4. What do you wish you would have known then, that you know now? 5. Do you think a spanking from a male or a female is more painful? I know, I know, it all depends on the person ... but maybe what are some differences you have noticed between the two spankings if you have been spanked by both genders? Thanks for helping me do some research on this, as I am becoming more and more determined to finally pursue this offline. Please if you have any input on any or all of these questions, I would love to hear it. You can also PM me or IM me to talk that way as well!

As a straight top, I have been there. It broke up our relationship. I enjoy being strict on a regular basis, but there is a limit. Maybe if you get your daily spankings from different folks, it might work. Re having witnesses, oh yes, def!

Nothing wrong with that and all agree.

Ours is very much DD in no way has it ever been a prelude to intimacy. And no it was not a set up by him, Jeffrey at times has some real manic outbursts when he is frustrated and let me say that i do not always react in the same way. He does have a diagnosis of manic depression. but when on his meds he is pretty much in control of his behavior, But i know him better than anyone and there are times when he is suffering a outburst from this Manic and we have a system in place that we try to deploy to acknowledge the red flags of the manic or depression starting to swing into a extreme that can lead to his not feeling in control and scared. More times than not it does not result in any kind of DD. But after he is warned and he realizes he is possibly sliding into a rough moment and then proceeds to engage in behavior that he knows is going to most likely perpetuate the problem and rather than take a breather and go relax or walk or exercise but instead chooses in this case to antagonize the other {my sis} and then she politely asks him to please settle down and take a breather so to take ahold of his emotions and i am always available to help him re focus and we have in 20 years worked out systems that works. But he will just get stub urn and make the wrong choice i have to evaluate the entire situation with objectiveness and make a call as well he is always part of the talk first to confirm he thinks that indeed some repercussions are in order then we proceed. But he was trying to be a overly macho snotty bratt in a place that he was sure in mind would not result in any DD at that moment as its always been dealt with later. He essentially made a scene thinking i would just allow it to pass and let my sister think he can just walk all over the boundary’s that all of us consider well defined and not face the music at that very moment. well this time i chose a very difficult path. It was not fun nor was it pretty. But i am his friend , his helper and his wife and for the good of all concerned i helped him and maintained or i should say restored order of respect and boundary’s in that situation. I know he has a need to be spanked and i am totally as far removed from that myself now as when he talked to me openly about his this craving as he called it 20 years ago. So in order to provide that first level of spanking needs i employ a maintenance schedule i will scold him a bit during to remind him of some things that i or both us have noted are sometimes re accruing. And as i have come to learn Males are pretty much on the whole all teens in adult bodies. The day that i since that its a game or there is no positive outcome i will not engage as it would not be in his best interest. We had to figure this all out our own selves and had no idea of so called spanko communities etc. this site last year was the first place he and i had ever seen that focused on this any others were just so not us and so not us. let there be no question his BUTT bottom belongs to me as he signed it away 20 years ago and he can take it back anytime he chooses but that is the end of the DD dynamic if he does.. I have never ever voiced publicly like this now today. Im very shy and reserved and a recluse. I am the worship leader in the same church i grew up in since a pre teen girl eposting it then. Give me a bit here.

As spoonybard said, this would be the best way to start. head to the Introductions and say hello. Take a moment to review our site rules as well. If you have any questions please feel free to contact a member of our moderating team. Welcome to the site.

This thread is from a while ago, but I feel like the question is addressed to me. Years ago, I was doing Victorian re-creations with in formal costume, and my guy and I got really serious about it. We planned a long weekend in Cape May NJ at a lovely Victorian B&B, and enjoyed so many events of Dickens Week we had scheduled to catch. One evening, I dressed in my prettiest Victorian evening gown, over an elegant Victorian corset and other fripperies, and we went downstairs to dinner. Before we headed down, I stealthily placed my bit of handiwork from the past week on the mantle piece. you had fussed to light a fire, and it would be blazing nicely when we returned from dinner. My bit of handicraft? I had found directions online for making an authentic Victorian birch rod. A dozen fresh birch twigs about two feet long, the buds stripped off , bound at the thick end with a red satin ribbon. Quite elegant. This was all about my curiosity whilst reading Victorian fiction, where the women always seem to end up with a bared bottom getting thrashed with a birch rod. What would that be like? Might I enjoy the literature more if I knew, really knew? I was determined to find out. We came up from a lovely dinner having started a fun conversation about keeping a Victorian wife on the straight and narrow. We both enjoyed spanking as foreplay, and this was all quite an elaborate roleplay. He saw the birch rod, recognized what it was, and stepped up immediately. "Nothing else had worked, so it was time for me to discover the birch rod." This all worked according to plan, I was soon bent over the sofa back with my skirt up and my bottom bared, well thrust out as he perfected my positioning over the sofa back. Then he swung the new rod. And swung it again before he realized my gasp and scream was real. The stories in the fiction I enjoy say the birch builds through a correction of thirty or so strokes, along the way usually to the rod falling apart. I've had my share of energetic strappings, even non-extreme canings, and I can tell you just the first two strokes of that birch rod were just fiery. After all that preparation, it just about ruined the evening, I could not go on. We eventually did proceed with our evening, but without the birch rod as a prop. We kept the birch rod as a rueful souvenir of the weekend. When we parted ways a year or so later, he kept that souvenir. I've wondered if it ever encountered any other Victorian-wannabe bottom cheeks. I know I always read Victorian literature thereafter with renewed respect for the endurance of my Victorian sisters.

The punishment does not begin until you want it to end! Having the spankee masturbate before the punishment is a great way to make that happen. Some disciplinarians administer a retention enema, AKA punishment enema, prior to spanking. Tears are not a requirement, but they are a good sign that the spankee is getting the message.

Best way to make a punishment spanking a punishment is to remove the sexual exciment. Try receiving a spanking shortly after masturbating. I guarantee the experance will be Dramatically different

Cornertime can be very effective. If used properly. You cant take someone who has never used it and put them in the corner for 30 minutes. Find what works, if it even works and work with it from there. Obviously, should be a discussion a ER has with the EE when they set limits.

Cornertime with hands held up in air or other positions add stress & physical pain to the shoulders, which after the first min or two, increases the pain every min, and keeps the focus centered on being punished. It quietens me down a lot if it lasts a while.