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I want to say that I support LGBTQ+ rights, as well as those of other minorities. I'm a person of color myself. I am just disappointed in our world in which everyone takes "offense" at comments that are meant harmlessly, people look for ways to be seen as a victim and society creates "safe spaces" where there is no room for differing opinions. Unless you toe each and every line set up by the progressives, you are the enemy and have no right to speak your mind. As a journalist, free speech is a tenet I would die to protect and I hate the idea of speakers being banned from spaces because they don't hold the majority or "correct" opinion.

I once put all of my ER's implements in a box and shipped it to "the north pole" (this was just before christmas) it took about a week for it to be returned to sender and the look on his face was both hilarious and terrifying. I got a long dose of every single one of those implements when they came back, which hurt suuuuuper bad - i regret nothing

And my response may be unpopular..... The writing section is just that....it's for writing...no matter if it's a true story, a reflection, a fantasy or what have you. It's the section for writing and it's for all members. We also have a section for role play...for posting role plays, discussing them, etc. We do not need a section separate for fantasies or what you feel is a fantasy. They can fit in many of the other sections. What may be a fake story to one person is not fake to another. Many in this lifestyle live through their fantasies. They may not want or cant get a real life spanking so they build fantasies. This site does not exclude these members. Also, when it comes to trolls....we have no radar. Some we know are trolls or bots instantly and we ban them. Some take some investigating to figure out. Some are not trolls at all. They just aren't liked by the popular members. Do I get tired of the people who post and I know they are just looking for interesting tidbits just to get their rocks off? Sure....but I'm an adult and I ignore them and move on. I'm mature enough not to bite. Those posts are not against site guidelines. Most of what I am seeing, especially from the same 4 people who make all the reports to us day after day, is that they feel someone is a troll because they don't agree with or can't personally identify with what that person is posting. It doesn't matter if you don't like fantasy or you don't want to see "I did this, so what should my punishment be?" It's not against site guidelines and doesn't need its own section so you don't have to see it. Be an adult...scroll by and ignore it. For those wanting to change everything...I'd say this site isn't for them. What diminishes SN is the constant bickering and complaining and the select few members who constantly Mod and try to control things behind the scenes. Not everything here is going to be to everyone's tastes. Members need to be able to be adult enough to ignore things they can't get behind. Some members feel they need to read or comment on every single post and they don't have to. Many aren't adding a thing. They just cause an argument or spread hate. Mods are not here to babysit, to move posts that members don't like or to constantly remind people that this is an adult site and members should be able to act like adults. We are mainly here to make sure the site guidelines and standards are kept. (Site standards may not be your standards!!)

I would definitely say No to this. Full nudity is not only not required for humility (being spanked and on the bare is plenty for me), but can cross boundaries or trigger something negative for the spankee. There is really no "should." Every spanking relationship is different, and those decisions are individual to each person/couple.

We wanted to reach out and inform you about some upcoming updates and potential short term disruptions to Spanking Needs. In the next few days, we will be implementing an important update to enhance your experience on the platform. However, we have encountered some unexpected challenges with how the forum software deals with data storage that may impact your ability to log in, make posts, and engage in chat functionalities. I know some peopole are having these issues right now. Please be patient. Rest assured that our team is working diligently to address these issues and minimize any inconvenience caused. We understand the importance of a seamless user experience and are committed to resolving these problems as quickly as possible. During the update process, our primary goal is to keep the site live and accessible to our members. However, due to the pending issues, there is a possibility that the site may go offline for a day or so without prior warning. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause and appreciate your understanding and patience. We will strive to keep you updated throughout this process. Please stay tuned for further announcements, notifications, or status updates regarding the website's availability and functionality.

I just want to point some things out, as a queer / lesbian women who fits in the young person "zennial" category, being born on the tail end of '98. And I'm going to do so out of order, so please bear with me! With kids learning about sexualities, I don't want to break rules on SN, so I'll talk about my personal experience. Talking about queerness didn't make me gay; learning about it just gave me the tools to express it. And while I didn't learn about it in school (I was a senior I think when gay marriage was federally recognized, so it still wasn't really school accepted) I wish I did! I didn't see much societal validation growing up, and media almost always portrayed queer characters as villains or killed them off horribly. It's cool that there's more acceptance now. Being openly gay has also doubled from previous generations (it's a shocking 3-ish percent of the population now! Trans is still about 1.3 percent). I also know that trans rights might seem like it's being pushed in media- but a lot of it is outrage clickbait. Trans issues make these people money- and I think we can all agree that the big media corporations really like to push anything that will make them money. One of the reasons why people are being loud about trans rights though is that there are over 500 anti-queer bills introduced across this country THIS YEAR, most of them targeting trans people. For reference, there was less than 200 anti-queer bills introduced for the entirety of 2022. The subject of these bills are bad enough that the Lemkin Institute issued a warning on the anti-trans movement's genocidal nature. In Florida, one of these bills makes it legal to deny care based on religious beliefs (meaning in practice, an EMT or ER doctor can refuse to save your life if they think you're trans, or gay, or whatnot). In Montana, that big anti-trans law requires a ton of things to let you transition - and it does not grandfather adult trans people who have medically transitioned. And for anyone who can no longer produce sex hormones, this can be a literal death sentence. Another reason is that trans rights relates directly to our rights as women - specifically bodily autonomy and protection against gender discrimination. It might sound odd if you listen to the anti-trans people claiming to "protect women" but they want to police people's medical care, discriminate based on how you look, reinforce gender stereotypes, and reduce women to their reproductive systems. If we allow the state to deny trans people scientifically backed care, that gives them precedent to ban any care they don't like. If we allow them to pass cross dressing laws or bathroom bills, women (trans or not) who don't dress to someone's feminine standards can be arrested on suspicion of not being a woman. Or allow people to not serve you because they think women shouldn't wear pants. Allow them to say that "women are weak and need to be protected by the evil trans person" and then they'll replace"trans person" with anything they can get away with. Several bills are looking to define what a woman is solely by "whose reproductive system is formed to produce ova" which is not only biologically false (we're born with all of our eggs produced) but reduces women to their capacity to bear children. It's always important to look at exactly who benefits, and how they do so, when looking at these topics

Nope. Again, wrong. Preaching to the wrong choir here. You have the ability to grow as a person and change, and as I was raised in a religious right-wing cult and am not only a leftist but ALSO a member of the LBGTQ community, you cannot tell me that it isn’t possible. It just takes work, which some people aren’t willing to put in. What you CANNOT change is your skin color or sexual preferences, that’s like me saying “well just don’t be a spanko, you can do it you’re just not trying.” Being tolerant does not mean being tolerant of bigotry or hatred, it means allowing those who are born the way they are to exist in spaces where they’re literally harming no one. Dylan Mulvaney being a spokesperson for Bud Light doesn’t put you in danger, it doesn’t affect your well-being or livelihood. She is just existing in an opportunity she was given.

It says a lot that "when empathy matters" is when right-wing conservatives are offended by seeing that transgender people exist, not empathizing with actual transgender people facing being kicked out of homes, fired from jobs, denied healthcare, physically beaten, murdered or any of the other innumerable acts of hate and discrimination they suffer on a daily basis. It happens that I do empathize with cisgender people though - I am one. Which is why I know how incredibly easy it is to simply not be bigoted towards people who are different than you. It takes zero effort at all, in fact. Yes, some people are used to the stuff they're used to being the norm, and even legally enforced on everyone whether those people like it or not. They can learn to put up with other kinds of people existing, like other kinds of people have had to do since time immemorial. "Tolerance of bigots" is intolerance to the targets of bigotry. Tolerance is a social contract - when bigots don't abide by it, they aren't protected by it. If they want to be tolerated, they can stop being bigoted at any time. Meanwhile transgender people can't stop being transgender people no matter what kind of discrimination and hatred they face.

It's so tiresome reading the dishonest takes about "I'm not against LGBTQ people, I'm against big companies pushing an agenda" No, you aren't. Nobody making that claim cared when Bud Light was "pushing an agenda" of "promoting heterosexuality" by having hot girls drinking beer in commercials for the appeal of cisgender heterosexual guys. Nobody making that claim cared when Budweiser was promoting the agenda of certain people being "real, red-blooded Americans" as opposed to anyone who didn't belong to those groups. Those ads were every bit as "political", but to anyone who agreed with the politics being promoted, it's easy to act like it's just normal. But that's how ideology works - acting like you're "normal" and other groups are "political" is the definition of trying to draw a line excluding them and privileging yourself. If a group of people simply existing and being visible is a "political issue", then you're explicitly saying that group's continued existence is up for debate. This debate is only happening because bigots started to care when Budweiser had a single ad with a single transgender woman. None of them cared about big companies "promoting an agenda" before, because they agreed with the agenda up until that point. The only issue is being offended by the existence of transgender people. And they aren't "pushing" anything, they're following behind years after the fact, after people have spent decades working tirelessly to help trans people be visible and accepted.

Not a fan of this take. It REEKS of being anti-LBGTQ and for those of us who are in a community that should and is pretty inclusive, it makes me really sad that anyone would poke fun at a marginalized group— let alone a fellow spanko. Dylan Mulvaney has been an absolute pioneer for modern Trans women and I’m happy to see her getting opportunities that push inclusivity and pride among the general population. Also, since when does “Blue Collar” translate to hateful?

Plenty of topics on this forum would be appropriate for this title. Seems like it's so common for spankos to say that whatever form of spanking dynamic they prefer, everyone ought to do it. All spankees should be spanked naked. All male/female relationships should be female led. Etcetera. What's wrong with saying, "I prefer to be spanked naked," or, "I'm very happy in my FLR dynamic"? Is it somehow not valid if it's just your preference? Is is somehow not valid if other spankos prefer differently? Curiously enough, there aren't many topics that lead with, "I prefer X." It always seems to be, "Everyone should do X." What is it about the spanko mind that brings this out?

Naked, for me, is distracting and takes away from the spanking. For my spanker and I, the focus is my bottom and the backs of my thighs. So, my pants and, eventually, my panties will wind up around my knees and when that's all that's bare, my focus and my spanker's focus is on my backside and not wandering elsewhere... and it's more embarrassing if THAT is all that's bare and vulnerable.

What exactly is being crammed down everyone's throat at every turn? How so?

Hi Maryjane! Looks like you joined in 2021 but haven't been active here. It's nice to have you join us, and your sincere question is appreciated. There's a decent chance that it may even help others. Bless him. He sounds like a nice guy. This looks promising. I think there is a lot of hope for you. I apologize to the others here who have already heard me share this kind of advice in previous posts-- but I was married to a vanilla man, and this is what worked. You've said he'll play along a little, but doesn't want to hurt you. That's good. He's got a kind heart, and that, to me, is the most important quality in a mate. Because he IS willing to play along a little (hooray!), build on that. Baby steps. Express gratitude every time he spanks you, even if it's disappointingly gentle. Men sometimes appreciate actions more than words, so you might vocalize your appreciation, and then show it under the sheets. (Hint: Learning that this turns you on big-time may help him shift gears from a fear of hurting you to experimenting a little more to see if he can turn you on.) If he discovers that spanking you results in the best sex ever, he may reassess this whole spanking thing under a more positive light. And, as his confidence builds, so will his swing. It's worth a try. Keep us updated.

Hey Everyone... We get numerous reports everyday....often from the same few people. Although we appreciate your help, there is no need to Moderate behind the scenes. Please keep your reports to important issues such as hate speech, harassment (which should be reported by the person being harassed...not others), etc. Serious offenses! We don't need constant reports about a topic being in the wrong forum section, reports about things you don't agree with (as most of them are not against site guidelines), posts from someone you feel is a troll,, etc. Also there is no need to report kik addresses as that is not personal identifying information. It is allowed. If members want multiple strangers contacting them in that manner, its their business. Full names, addresses and telephone numbers are not allowed and should not be in the public forums. Moderators check the forums several times a day to keep an eye on things. Also we check out every report, but honestly we do nothing about most of them. They are usually about something that isn't against the guidelines. Also, instead of the report button, we ask that you post in the "Ask the Staff" section. That is what it is there for. Thank You !!

Neither are most trans people. The spotlight is on trans people mainly because of conservatives fixating on them through the media. In return, trans activists are showing themselves and speaking up. What else should they do under those circumstances? Case in point: the Bud Light video you originally posted about started with an obscure YouTube influencer whose following at the time wasn't any greater than Jillian Keenan's, if that. It only became a news item when conservative media got wind of it. If the same eyes fell on KoL, what might happen? There's no such thing as any minority group pushing their rights on others. The only way one group can push their rights on another is if they have the numbers and clout to do so, and in that case, the word "rights" isn't even mentioned. It's just how things are. Heterosexuals have pushed their rights on non-heterosexuals for practically ever. Colonizers have pushed their rights on indigenous peoples for centuries, committing genocide and taking land (and for longer than centuries, if we think back to ancient empires that did similar). To name a couple of examples. People who can't even acknowledge their existence without being labeled creepy or worse do not have rights to push on others. "They're pushing their rights on others" is always a statement made by the majority against the minority. Yes we do. We dress as the genders we are. Don't see that as sexual? You are correct. Neither is being transgender. A person's gender is simply their gender. When trans people show themselves as trans people, in parades, on TV, or simply to the people around them, they're telling us nothing about what kinds of sexual activity or partners they prefer. They're just telling us what their gender is. That's no more sexual than you being a woman. Difference is, you don't have to go around telling people you're a woman to be recognized as one. That is privilege. Everyone requires' others acceptance. If you routinely were not accepted simply because of your gender appearance, you'd be getting disruptive too. That's different from being a spanko. Being a spanko doesn't make you look any different from anyone else. It doesn't make anyone question whether you're a he or a she or what. It's something you can choose to disclose or not disclose. It's also a part of us that may not be accepted by others, and may be hard to accept in ourselves. But at least we don't wear it on our faces. We have the option of keeping it private. It's a whole different thing from gender identity acceptance.

I always really feel sooo bad for the Top when his hand gets sore. You poor things. 🫣🙄😂

The intentional effort to divide people to accomplish an agenda is as old as history and never more evident then it is today. Whether it was a southern state governor who stood in the doorway of a state university to block black students from entering, and rally his white constituents to keep him in office to continue the fight, or a failed artist who joined the army and rose to power by promoting the idea that some belonged to a master race being threaten by an entire ethnic population of which he would eventually kill millions. The "Us vs Them" playbook has been the consistent strategy for some who seek power. The chants of "Jews will not replace us" can still be heard, and rather than focus on the global crisis that creates the issue, some in power beat the drum that immigrants are only coming to steal jobs and benefits so they can be re-voted into their positions of power to "finish the wall"... While corporations may not intentionally sow the seeds of division, they certainly take advantage of the division others create. Subtly, everything from colors to fonts to music to phrases from all sides of an issue are used to send the signal "we're on your side, so you should buy our stuff". ...and to echo an earlier sentiment, how ironic that an "Us vs Them" seed has been planted and has sprouted on a forum meant to celebrate a fringe fetish like spanking of all things. If you are one of the people who is made "uncomfortable" by being around Trans people, or even being near conversations about sexual identities - imagine if at your next neighborhood BBQ, someone loudly pronounced " HEY, I HEARD YOU WERE INTO SPANKING PEOPLE!"...if you think your presence wouldn't suddenly make other people uncomfortable, you're fooling yourself. And try for a moment to imagine the judgment you would immediately endure, and the challenge you'd face trying to make people understand something that you barely understand yourself. My guess is that we have all struggled with that part. Just to be absolutely clear, in my book, realizing that others are dealing with their own shit, the same way you're dealing with yours, and granting them the grace and acceptance that you want for yourself, is the very definition of "Woke".

Maybe the original question here was aimed only at people in the "scene," but spanking for at least some is not about seeking out casual meetings simply for the sake of spanking. Spanking is part of a close relationship, and shared values are an important element. And furthermore, spanking for discipline is not "play" to some spankos. Spanking is a judgment being handed down by the disciplinarian, and what that person stands for and against is a critical factor in how their judgment is perceived. A person's politics is their expression of what they value so, in this case, it can be relevant. On the one hand, an overbearing ideologue can be tiresome and, on the other, one who just can't be bothered with politics can be too apathetic. It's all part of compatibility, and there is no reason to expect that everyone should be the right fit. For two hardcore political junkies, it could be nirvana.

Sadly, it seems that in recent years the real insidious agendas promoted by many in politics and business are designed to manipulate us by painting the world as "Allies vs Adversaries". When we choose to define "Allies" as "everyone who agrees with us" and "Adversaries" as "anyone who disagrees with us", then in my opinion we're the ones who ultimately lose. This "debate" has caused me to take a look back and I can honestly say that in my 67 years, I have never ever walked away from someone I considered a friend & ally, or even turned my back on someone who considered me one of theirs. I have a shitload of faults, but Loyalty and Devotion are my superpowers. I have had to endure the loss of people who decided for various reasons they were no longer friends of mine over differences of opinion - but the decision to walk away and give up on the friendship has never been mine except where someone has demonstrated they were never a friend to begin with Frankly if I may be so bold as to say, MissBam and I are the winning lottery number of true friends - we open ourselves up to those we choose as friends, and our devotion to those in that circle is nearly unlimited - and our commitment to our friends holds in spite of differences of opinion. We define "Ally" as someone who shows up, who hangs through the tough times and who celebrates with you during the good times and whose devotion, respect and love is deeper than our shortcomings or their ideologies and opinions. If I restricted my allies to just those who agree with me or those not willing to disagree, it would leave me with just my dogs... No wait, they disagree with me all the time over having to wait for dinner and go outside...😂

Thank you Chawsee for this really nice, helpful and encouraging response. You're totally right in what you say. It is true that he's spanking me more and more as time goes on and as he sees that this reaps rewards in the bedroom. I guess I just wasn't giving him the time he needed, which wasn't fair of me. I deleted my Fetlife and will be prioritising more honest communication and spanky sex with my boyfriend.

The person who continues to make this topic “a debate” (and I use that term loosely), should’ve been deleted rather then continue to allow him to post his rhetoric on a question that’s genuine. Debates are for things like whether Subway foot longs are false advertising, NOT WHETHER TRANS PEOPLE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EXIST IN PUBLIC SPACES. I’m honestly at a loss here. That thread had more than one troubling comment, but at the end of the day this is a dangerous precedence. Will the next topic about Jewish people or BIPOC be allowed to be up for debate? Trans people exist and they exist on this site. LBGTQ people see the responses and can see whether this is a safe space for them or not.

SN is a "safe haven" for SPANKOS no matter their sexuality, gender, race, religion, political point of view, etc. We are not just a safe haven for a particular set of people. It's for all of us. Every member on this site is going to find something that annoys them, goes against their beliefs, etc at one point or another. Instead of freaking out, reporting something that is not against the rules or causing needless arguments....don't engage and move on. Obviously the topic isn't for you. The point is we are all ADULTS and we should be able to coexist with everyone having different opinions, different genders, different political views, different sexuality, etc and just being different in general. Once again, if you are sensitive in your beliefs, or about who you are, etc.....the debate section may not be the place for you. Adults are here debating adult topics.

Considering how many SN members identify as trans or are members of the LGBTQ+ community, I would think any debate that actively hurt or insulted any of those members would be cause for concern. There are certain members who continuously make posts that are obviously against those who identify as queer. There is an evident pattern. The end result is that SN becomes a less-welcoming place rather than the safe haven it could (and perhaps should) be. It is one thing to debate marketing ploys. It is another to denigrate the existence of trans and queer people. And on a spanking site? The idea is laughable. How many posts about homosexuality, trans folks, other types of kink... before all that is left on SN are the few people who only accept heteronormative others? If we took all these different posts and viewed them as parts of the whole, the pattern would be easy to see - more so than when the posts are spread out over months. You don't have to read between the lines to see how these posts and comments would be hurtful to people who identify as trans or queer. It doesn't have to be "hate speech" to be harmful to the spanking community and to SN and its members. @secretmanand @brittygirl- thank you for all you have shared and your willingness to stand up for others.

Very strange but, at the same time, not surprising. Maybe it should be amazing that this can cause this much backlash, but it's a sign of the culture war times we're in. I wish there were more people like you. I find it increasing more difficult to tolerate the hate, so I end up being a part of it. So Imagine that — calling for a boycott of a product that was featured in a social media promotion by a transgender influencer. I understand a boycott. It's saying, I'm not buying your product because I don't like what you do or stand for. Like I might avoid a business who openly supports or contributes money to a politician I find a danger to humanity. That makes good sense to me. That's my choice, and I'm saying to the company, this is what I stand for. Some people may buy products because the company supports something I boycott, and that's fine too. The company has a right to pursue whatever marketing scheme they choose, targeting in order to make money, including an attempt to attract younger people who identify better with diversity and inclusion. People have a right to buy or not buy what they want for whatever reason. Now Anheuser-Busch has made lots of ads over the years, and this little one, which hardly defines the entire company as standing for anything, has stirred up the hornet's nest. The nest of bigotry exists to be stirred. So boycott it if you don't want a transgender person associated with your beer, but don't pretend that you're for the inclusion of transgender people in our culture. You've made your opinion clear, and don't be surprised when you are condemned for it. If you are selling anything, I, for one, am not buying it.

Yes, I do hold people responsible for their beliefs and actions - that's literally the only thing you can judge people for. That is by definition what determines their ethics and moral character. People who choose to have intolerant views deserve to be judged for that. That is the definition of making a fair and justified judgement about someone. It's bizarre you pretend this is about my "whims", when it's about simply accepting and tolerating a group of people who have always existed and will always exist, and simply refraining from being an intolerant bigot towards those people. The only reason for you to frame it that way is to dehumanize and erase the actual people who are hurt by that intolerance. But I suppose complaining about someone's "whims" is easier than trying to justify beatings, murder, harassment and discrimination. If you can't understand my second point I'll repeat it again for you - "conservatives" are the ones who are the loudest about demanding people assume "personal responsibility" for things. So my expectation they assume personal responsibility for their beliefs is 100% consistent with their own beliefs. The fact that they refuse to do so and that you defend that choice is proof of conservatism being a hypocritical set of values to begin with. As for your silly accusations about "frothing at the mouth", that's just trying to make things personal when you've run out of any other ways of trying to refute basic facts. You can insult me all day long, it doesn't change the fact you're still defending people who choose to be hateful over their victims. Because hate is a choice - but someone's identity isn't. "Conservatives" aren't an identity that people are born with, no matter how many studies you've misunderstood and misread and no matter how badly you've misunderstood what the science actually says on that point.

Mannnn this is just disappointing. So many people showing their true colors. @secretmanis right on the money— if this ad had been anything to do with the cis-crowd, this wouldn’t be a topic. It ain’t about the corporation. That’s very obvious. We all know companies will do whatever they want to make money. AB knew they’d take a hit with the conservative crowd on this one and did it anyway. But now I see, personally, who are not safe people to converse with on this site. We have trans members on SN. They see this too.

This is the biggest reason why this site has so many problems amongst its members. If people could get rid of their "my way or the highway" thinking and accept that everyone has their own way of living the spanking lifestyle...it would be a much more peaceful site. No two relationships are going to be the the same no matter if it's DD, D/s, mentoring or what have you. There are no set rules in this lifestyle. Although I think a lot of it has to do with people not being able to accept things they dont like or agree with, I also think some of it has to do with maturity. As adults we should be able to accept a difference of opinion and lifestyle. We don't have to adapt it as our own, but we should be able to accept it for others. I also see something else on here....those who can't seem to accept some things and argue about it in the forums and let their dislike and non-acceptance be known but preach, something totally different in a post like this because they want to look good. We need to live this lifestyle for ourselves and worry less about those who think we are doing it wrong.

Even for a spanko, this would be way too much to jump into all at once. When a spanker spanks a new spankee for the first time, or even the first few times, they don't know for sure where the spankee's limits are. If the spankee has little or no previous experience with being spanked, they don't know for sure where their own limits are either. This letter is asking the partner to read the spankee's mind and just magically know when more spanking is needed and when it's not safe to continue. No one is a mind reader. No spanking dynamic gets to the point where the spanker can read the spankee that well without some trial and error, and good communication, first. After the trial and error and the work to establish the dynamic is put in, it may get to a point where the spanker does just know what the spankee needs, because they've learned through experience how to read the spankee. But no way will they know that in the beginning.

Hello everyone, I wanted to bring to your attention an important matter regarding the board guidelines, specifically related to "Spanking Services." It has come to my notice that some members have not been thoroughly reviewing these guidelines. Please take a moment to read the guidelines outlined below. Spanking Services Due to various legal reasons, it is imperative that we do not allow any content related to "Spanking Services" on our website. This applies to all areas, including forums, chat, blogs, clubs, and direct messages. If you encounter anyone attempting to charge you or requesting a 'tribute' for such services, I kindly request that you report their post or direct message. By doing so, we can promptly address the issue and maintain the safety and security of our website. This community holds great value to all of us, and I am dedicated to ensuring its continued well-being. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this rule or any other matter, please feel free to send me a direct message. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

thanks everyone for your comments! lots of great advice in there, and just reading it and not so feeling alone in this big wide world of spanking really helps a lot I'm getting spanked tomorrow morning, and i cant wait to go straight to work afterwards, sitting on my freshly spanked bottom, but being the only person that knows about it hehe Em xx

To me, bratting is a roundabout way of saying "Hey, I could use a good spanking" without having to come out and ask for one. And what EE wants to do that? So a little sassiness, a little teasing, and the EE ends up OTK, right where she (in my case) wants to be. If it crosses the line into disrespect, then I think you have to ask what is wrong in the relationship. There is teasing in vanilla relationships too. We are no different. Well, maybe just a little different...

My first wish would be that someone read my "about me"....then they would know what I'm all about, but that rarely happens. Those who are new don't always understand it or don't realize there is one. As a female, I prefer small talk first. A little get to know you session before the spanking talk begins. Once the spanking talk begins I expect it to stay respectful and two-sided. I won't deal with someone telling me to drop my panties while I talk to him or any other sort of Dominant bullshit. I may be a submissive, but I'm not a doormat. Respect, a sense of humor, a feeling of trust and compatibility all have to be there. If the conversation turns sexual...I am immediately done. Even if I weren't in a relationship and I was looking for someone...sex talk shouldn't be a part of a conversation until we've met and know each other fairly well. Sex isn't part of a casual conversation for me.

Of course not "all" spankings need to be naked. Why would being naked with your partner be embarrassing? Some of us enjoy different levels and styles of dress and that can be exceedingly fulfilling in ways nudity is not. With ny husband, I am often fully nude, but certainly not always. How boring is "always"? With other partners, I prefer some amount of clothing.

very well said...had I seen this before making my last comment, I would have felt I didn't need to.

What is clearly evident to me, is at your core - you are concerned for children. We might have differences regarding how that concern is manifested, but we can find common ground and a starting place by agreeing on our respective concern for kids. I'd like to look into this further, could you share specifics or a link to these cases where you know children to have been told to question to question their sexuality? (I assume we all know that teaching children about the variety of sexual identities is not the same as telling them to question theirs). I'd also appreciate being able to research the two Montana cases you mentioned before commenting further. thank you

I simply don't play with people who are political junkies. Doesn't matter which side of the aisle they are on. As I stated in another thread, I was purged from one of the two parties for being a centrist. Let me make this clear; I did not walk away, I was forced out. Ever since then, people who are obsessed with politics and political identity over human identity, well, that's a red flag. I don't care if their politics are left or right, I move on if their obsession is unhealthy. When I interact with people, I interact with people. Not party affiliations.

Yes, usually, but there's some nuance to it hits it on the head for me. I don't know what people's politics are unless they choose to tell me. When I meet spankos, that's usually not what we talk about. If we decide to play together without politics coming up, they might be on the other end of the scale from me for all I know. If we haven't even discussed it, it obviously doesn't matter. If politics does come up and we still want to play together, then either we agree, or our disagreement isn't a dividing line. For me, there are only two circumstances in which a political disagreement would be a dividing line: the other person makes it so, or the other person isn't just conservative to my liberal, they heavily flog a version of politics that I find downright dangerous. For example, they're militantly MAGA. I haven't had that actually come up with a potential spanking partner, so that's just a hypothetical situation. In situations where I do strongly disagree with someone on politics, usually we just don't discuss politics much, if at all. If we have plenty else we can connect over, what do we need politics for?

I chose Deeper Relationship Intimacy, as that is what's at the core of the spanking partnerships I have. With my former husband, there was, of course, sexual intimacy, something that my conscience won't allow me to invite into my spanking partnerships with outside men. But that bonding that we experience in sharing this very private and emotionally vulnerable part of ourselves-- you fellow spankos know what I'm talking about-- that is precious to me. And, because I spank predominantly OTK, the physical closeness can't be denied, either. It's nice.

Moderation Note: Hi all, I want to remind our members that the debate section might not be everyone's cup of tea, and it's okay if some members refrain from engaging in discussions that they find uncomfortable or challenging. However, we ask that all members participating in the debate section do so with an open mind and a willingness to engage in respectful discourse. It's important to remember that a topic can be debated without attacking or disrespecting the person presenting the argument. If a member finds themselves unable to separate the topic from the person presenting it, we recommend that they step back from the discussion and take some time to reflect before returning to the debate section. The debate subforum should be the only place for in-depth debates, and while we do not plan to moderate this section unless there is mention of children heavily or parenting styles come up because this is an adult site, we do want to make it clear that personal attacks can lead someone to be revoked from the section. Our forum will not tolerate hate speech, personal attacks, or kink-shaming.

I don't think I've read anything you've posted before. I will now read everything you post. Sure Budweiser did this is a marketing gimmick, but I'm failing to see how it actively hurt anyone. Well, their feelings, maybe, but you're right in that no one cared about Bud's political ideology or bent until it went against their beliefs. I'm not even sure why I'm posting, I guess I'm wanting someone to tell me why this somewhat crass Budweiser marketing strategy is any worse than... well, anyone else's crass marketing strategy. Or, as Secretman points out, Bud's crass marketing strategy prior to this.

I think many of the explanations here are right on, but another factor is that people can be heavily invested in their fetishes and fantasies, and to the point where even reality becomes distorted. They make things up, pretend to be something they're not, and take hard-line, uncompromising positions because it turns them on to articulate and see on public display the extreme position that fuels their desires. They want validation, possibly the opposite but, either way, it attracts more attention than if they presented their case rationally. Then there are people who are rational about what they're saying, like those who want to go back to "better" times when society was more supportive of whatever it is they like, or what turns them on, or to talk about a future that should favor their desires over others.

(As with other contributions, alter gender roles according to taste). Suppose the 7th Street Gang, composed of males in their twenties, had 12 members. And suppose the girlfriend of a gang member had slept with a member of a rival gang. Perhaps all the other girlfriends would be seated on chairs at the side of a brightly-lit room, the offender would be dragged to the center of the room, told to strip, and then laid on her back while her boyfriend held her legs up. Each of other 11 members would deliver 7 hard blows with a special wooden paddle to remind her of the gang with which she was affiliated Then the boyfriend would pull her into an adjacent room and deal with her in any way in which he saw fit. -Ex.

Yes, people do choose their values. That is 100% their responsibility. You can change your values, you can't decide to stop being LGBTQ+. People choose to stop being intolerant bigots all the time. Those people are laudable for their choice to grow and learn about the world, and the people who choose to hold onto those bigoted, intolerant values are personally responsible for their choices. More importantly - "personal responsibility" is supposedly a "conservative" value anyways, so BY THEIR OWN BELIEFS they are personally responsible for their own beliefs. They have no excuses whatsoever. (Of course, in practice "conservative" ideas about "personal responsibility" only ever apply to OTHER people, but that's a whole other conversation) That's not actually based on any kind of real science. I know the studies you're thinking of - yes, there are certain psychological inclinations that are slightly more common - but NOT exclusive - to "conservative" leaning people. But "slightly more inclined" doesn't mean "pre-destined" and it's totally dishonest to act like it gives them a free pass for being bigots. More importantly - it doesn't matter anyways even if it were true. Even if those people had no choice whatsoever about being intolerant bigots (and they always had a choice, and still do), that doesn't change the fact that their beliefs are directly harmful to OTHER people who had zero choice about their identities, and doesn't entitle them to discriminate against those people. A certain percentage of the population is inclined towards pedophilia too, but that doesn't give them a free pass to molest children. The compassionate thing to do for people who have no choice about being intolerant is still to take away their ability to hurt people with their intolerance. Another correction to your mistaken claims: Transgender people have always existed, at every point in human history. Gay and transgender rights have ALWAYS been an issue and people have always been aware of that fact - they wouldn't have passed laws criminalizing those identities if they weren't aware of them. And movements for gay and trans rights are over a century old on top of that, so there's nothing new whatsoever.

Nah. You choose to be conservative. You don’t choose to be LBGT. 🙃

My respect for you just multiplied tenfold.

It was strange that one beer can (because there was only one) on a subscriber only platform (you had to seek out the video to see it before it exploded) caused all kinds of hell from people who, generally, have bigger problems to worry about... like why they constantly vote against their own interests. The future is inclusive, generally speaking. How inclusive is a more in depth conversation. At the end of the day, the Bud Light can didn't actually hurt anyone aside from some fragile feelings, which was strange coming from people who constantly call others "snowflakes". At the end of the day, we would all do well to be kinder to everyone. Life on this planet is hard enough without adding to the problems. We're all staring down the barrel of death with no hope of avoiding it and the reality that it's all pointless in the end. Love, happiness, and companionship all help to make life a little more tolerable and help us ignore our onrushing demise. We should be searching out and creating more of that... and not more hate, anger, and division. Whether you're a left wing progressive or a right wing regressive, you should have all the happiness in your life you can muster as long as it doesn't harm others. And that little beer can? That didn't actually hurt anyone. A lot of the manufactured outrage that followed DID cause harm, however. So, be nicer. Try to be happy. And try not to cause anguish for others.

This is so deeply disappointing to read. The people who appoint themselves as armchair experts, with internet degrees in psychoanalysis, who think they "know" anything whatsoever about the roots of people coming out as transgender and who think that lets them tell those people they shouldn't get the care they need are the absolute worst. That kind of thinking mixes bigotry, ignorance, self-importance and judging others in the worst way possible. I have close friends and family members who are transgender - absolutely nobody expressing "concern" over teenagers suddenly coming out as transgender knows the first thing they're talking about, except for crap they heard on Fox News and other propaganda outlets. I don't appreciate people expressing fake "concern" over my friends and family members having access to competent medical care and being able to make their own medical decisions, and trying to ban them getting treatment that can literally save their life. If someone's daughter had cancer, wanting to deny her medically-prescribed chemotherapy out of "concern" doesn't make you any less a murderer. You would really think in a community like this people might stop and err on the side of open-mindedness and being inclusive to people who are judged and looked down on but I guess that's a little too much to hope for. The fact is, there is no "pressure to transition" or "transgender industry" - there is only a right-wing hate industry targeting anyone who seems different, so that they can roll back gay and trans rights, same as they are rolling back women's rights and the rights of anyone who isn't a white, Christian heterosexual male. And falling for their propaganda is just unforgivably naive at this point in history. Do I think Bud Light is some champion of equality? No, they're a company that knows the future is inclusive and less bigoted than the present, no matter how hard fascist groups like the Republican Party want to roll things back. They aren't champions of equality, they're just proof that people who actually stand up for equality and inclusion are winning - and that terrifies the bigots who want to keep gay and trans people closeted or dead. And make no mistake - if trans rights get rolled back, communities like this one and everyone in it WILL be on the hit-list of those same bigots sooner or later.

That sums up my feelings exactly. I prefer microbrews and imports. Always have. I thought I didn't like beer until I went to Germany and tried German beer, then came back and turned 21 and moved to a town with a good brew pub. But if any company decides to make their advertising more inclusive, good on them. Sounds to me like the "problem" here is that Bud Light has long been associated with masculinity, as has beer in general. Making a transwoman the spokesperson for a major beer brand drastically challenges that image. Some people just can't take that, apparently. If your (and I mean the collective "your" here, not speaking to any individual personally) sense of gender is so fragile that a transwoman promoting Bud Light threatens it, you have a problem that has nothing to do with beer advertising.