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  1. Hello everyone~ It's been a few years since I've been around here, and I'm sure there are a lot of people here I don't know, and perhaps some old friends have become inactive for awhile, like I myself did... But I'm going to just jump right in and act as if I've never left.... Mostly because I have some thoughts or reflections related to spanking and discipline, I feel a need to discuss or share, and I've been away so long, I feel like I'm going to lose my nerve if I wait too long, and I'm feeling oddly hesitant and anxious! Since I was last here, I had actually made a whirlwind of pr
    9 points
  2. 8 points
  3. Thread moved: To Debate section; OP cool it with the term raciest. We don't tolerate racism here; that said; we also aren't a platform for you to assume everyone is raciest and needs to be "educated" on to be 'anti-raciest'. We're a spanking forum. Thanks.
    7 points
  4. A good scolding is an art IMHO, so much is more than just the words spoken, there is that certain inflection in the voice, the tone, a glint in the eyes, maybe some meaningful body gestures like patting the paddle or brush against the palm of the hand or outer thigh when it's being given. The attitude has to be authentic to strike at least some consternation into the spankee, otherwise it just come of as contrived. I personally love the phrase "you've been needing this spanking for a long time" ,or " your way over due for a paddling".
    7 points
  5. I’m all about phrasing, whether giving or receiving one! I think a big part of it is hearing the “sentencing.” That is, being told “You’re getting a good long spanking over my knee.” I think most Spankos would have their ears perk up at the word “spanking” throughout their entire lives, so it’s important to use that word when giving one.
    7 points
  6. Wishing you all a very safe and Happy Holliday season. God Bless you all.
    7 points
  7. Going to throw my two cents in here... "safe words" are just that "SAFE" words! They are not "This is difficult" words, or "I don't like spanking anymore" words, or "Can I be done now?" words.... safe words are meant solely for **safety** . I think a lot of people tend to have misconceptions about the use of safe words and their purpose. (Of course all this is arbitrary and I can only describe it as I see it) Let me pose two scenarios. 1.) You are with your romantic partner, you two love and trust and adore each other, and can read each other like a book... Full trust, full commi
    6 points
  8. This is such a good question, Bramblewine. For me, the crying gives me needed feedback, but is not the end-all. Not all spankees cry, but for those who do, this can be a tremendous emotional release for them. This is why so many spankees want to cry. On some innate level they recognize that crying will allow them a much-needed release of all their pent-up shame, sadness, anxiety, annoyance, angst, frustration, etc. (Most of us carry some of these feelings around with us to some extent.) This isn't spanking somebody to tears because the pain becomes unbearable, but giving them a valid reas
    6 points
  9. I believe Reddit (which is more anonymous); but I would never join a spanking group on Facebook with my name attached.
    6 points
  10. Hi Adek! I know what you're saying. It's hard to remain perfectly still, and most spankees receiving a punishment session can't do it, especially when they're new at this. There are a few things that can help. First, since these are punishment spankings, rather than erotic sessions, make sure your ER is doing an adequate job of scolding/lecturing you. This puts the spankee in a more receptive mindset, which, believe it or not, makes them better able to tolerate punishment. I recommend that she give you instructions, such as, "Over my lap! Now put your hands flat on the floor and stay in that p
    6 points
  11. I appreciate someone who can be cute and playful. It's how some spankees deal with the embarrassment of being "the spankee." I did this myself when formerly married to a switch. If the top and bottom are each prone to silliness, this dynamic does require more work to get both into the appropriate, serious headspace when discipline time comes. But that's okay, as the humor is bonding. That said, sweetness and playfulness, within reason, are endearing traits-- but obnoxious behavior is not. I don't personally accept spankees who define themselves as "brats."
    6 points
  12. I don't require that a spankee call me by an honorary name. If they choose to out of a sense of respect that they have in their own heart, I accept that humbly. It's endearing when it does happen, and can deepen my appreciation for the spankee. But I never want any aspect of our relationship to feel phony or forced. The only exception would be if I were met with attitude. I treat my spankees with dignity and respect, and I expect the same in return. Failure to meet that expectation would result in him being required to follow stricter guidelines during the session. I'm not a dominatrix, a
    6 points
  13. There’s a great Jillian Keenan video on this.
    6 points
  14. To me personally, a spanking is more effective when I’m being scolded during it. He reminds me why he is spanking me and what needs to change.
    6 points
  15. We went christmas shopping last week and Mr.Hubby-Daddy-Sir grabbed a blue plastic bath brush when I wasn't looking. Now.. I very nearly grabbed a big wooden one in that same trip but decided to hold off until we could talk about it... But there we are at check out and and I see it... Excitement and a tiny bit of disappointment and a little dread all hit at the same time... But my kom is there so I say nothing. We finally get home and are putting everything away and out comes the bath brush... "Ohh yeah baby!" I'm thinking... "Oh yeah, I got myself a new back scrubber, I'm excited to go ta
    6 points
  16. I have a naughty little confession, since we're all in the midst of holiday gift-giving: I LOVE white elephant gift exchanges. I always bring a main gift (that I admit to), and a second one that I slip into the pile. It's this second gift that is my secret trademark: a whip and handcuffs. When someone selects this present, opens it, and about keels with shock (as a former boss of mine once did during our annual office Christmas party), I act astonished, like I'm flabbergasted that anyone would bring something like that. I never seem to get enough of this prank, though, and so far, no one has
    6 points
  17. Jade Murray It was one of the many tasks on the list of things to do my Mum had left me and my brother Jack to do while she was staying with Granddad during this lockdown. Clean the shed, wow how thrilling that was going to be….not. Of course as usual doing anything with my little brother meant doing it myself. He had the attention span of a goldfish and would be no help whatsoever. I suppose that is not quite true, he can concentrate for hours on his stupid Xbox games with his geeky mates. I had been asking him for days now to come and make a start on the shed and it
    5 points
  18. One big trick when it comes to paddling is to use a heavier paddle. Women often can't swing hard enough with lightweight paddles without having to apply extra force, thereby wearing themselves out. A paddle that packs a wallop requires a lot less muscular tension to land it, as weight and gravity are on the spanker's side. A simple small breadboard can be very effective, as they're typically thick and weighty for their size. I see these in thrift stores on a pretty regular basis for just a couple bucks. Another tip is to buy a bath brush with a flat wooden head on the back side of the br
    5 points
  19. When I was a kid I had a birthday present one year that I loved. A book of poetry. I remember one poem in particular... "Two men look out from behind bars. One sees mud One sees stars" In general I always tend to see the mud. I know that can seem negative and maybe I am somewhat of a pessimist. But it's only because deep down I want to help people get through that mud. I think as well it's why spanking appeals to me. It's a temporary pain worth going through to get to something better.
    5 points
  20. I agree. I believe he is looking for attention. Best way to address it is not to give him any. Leave it to the moderators.
    5 points
  21. If people would actually read the guidelines it's quite a simple process. The guidelines were changed in Oct of 2019 (a few months after @Mystery Man and I acquired the site) and have done away with the professional disciplinarian talk, and requiring members for a fee to speak with them or whatever. SN is about community and connections. We don't even run ad's for revenue (admin pays fully); we aren't going to allow members to profit from something we feel strongly shouldn't be made to profit. We do not have anyone currently here doing this. So I don't know why you're making that stateme
    5 points
  22. Great topic! It's gotten to where politics have infiltrated every aspect of our lives. Some folks behave like their whole mission on earth is to convert the other side. This never works. Getting angry (and crazy) about our political beliefs doesn't convince anyone that we know better than they do. Actually, it has the opposite effect. I have two friends, both honorable, respectable people, who are so opposed in their political viewpoints that they could argue all day about it with each other. It has gotten to where I don't even discuss politics. As for religion, I'm comfortable with peop
    5 points
  23. Dude, do you really believe that you are the first Forum Pseudo Intellectual I've run across? And yeah... you ARE a dude. Your "welcome"s to the new members of these forums leaves a bit to be desired IMHO. Don't know how the Admins put up with you... I wouldn't. I have to wonder how many new members you have driven off with your offensive drivel. If I WERE an Admin on this site... I would be giving that a serious look. But.... enough about you. Let's talk about what you BELIEVE you know about others. A single post that didn't even include all the facts (in the interest of brevity
    5 points
  24. Not a silly question at all. Politics is an interest to me and religion is a part of my life. However, those are two topics that I don't find relevant in everyday conversation, at my workplace and with a potential spanker/spankee. However, I am looking for more of a spanking relationship. As such, I want to personally communicate with a spanker/spankee and really get to know them. This may eventually include talking about politics, party affiliation and religious beliefs. With that said, I keep an open mind. I enjoy and welcome different views, deep discussions and learning about
    5 points
  25. There are MANY in DC who need a good spanking!!😡
    5 points
  26. Yes, so true! Love the Jillian Keenan video, by the way. 😉 On a separate note, what I WON'T do when scolding is shout, say anything demeaning, or grab a spankee's ear or hair. I consider these "ugly" ways of treating someone, and they are hard-limits with me.
    5 points
  27. It depends on the rule as to whether I will break it. If "do not smoke" is a rule, then I would not smoke just to break the rule. My partner is also helping me with health and fitness goals - and I have rules and parameters. I do still break those rules or fail to reach goals - because I am human and this is real life and I need help with certain things because I have not been self-regulating very well. Sometimes I will purposely break a rule so that my Top will remind me that the boundaries are still in place. It is a reminder that I am cared for and that he is still in this with me.
    5 points
  28. I'm not sure I could improve on my bratting. Its pretty darn perfect now😁
    5 points
  29. I like xHamster every bit as much as SpankingTube. That said, it's spanking that interests me. I neither like nor watch any other type of porn, so I often find myself weeding through distasteful commercials and graphics on these sites. My collection of favorite spanking videos is a large one, but here are a few. My favorite erotic switch couple: Prux- https://www.spankingtube.com/video/56549/serious-punishment-for-lil-christopher. Each is impressively good as both spanker and spankee. And since "funishment" is my preferred spanking style, I really enjoy watching these two. For M/f s
    5 points
  30. What you're feeling is completely normal, and most of us can relate. It's natural for us to want spankings. We wouldn't be spankos if we didn't. 😊 Even those who claim they don't like being spanked get pretty desperate for this attention and discipline when they're not getting it. Funishment can be useful when you want a spanking, but not a full-out punishment session. It can be pretty intense, if the players involved make it that way, or it can be light and fun. If this idea is not your cup of tea, that's fine too. You can always confess to something small that you did-- perhaps an honest mis
    5 points
  31. We are each different in what we find offensive. Many people here would agree that they found nothing offensive whatsoever about TryingIt's post. In reading your other comment to Englishman, I can understand why the original statement triggered you. You stated that you posted nude photos of yourself online when you were 15. So you probably felt like this was a personal judgement against you. It wasn't. It was simply an observation about the general lack of modesty seen on FetLife, which lots of people complain about. That is offensive to them. When we read something that triggers us, we
    4 points
  32. I disagree with this comment. @tryingit is expressing his opinion of Fetlife, which is exactly what I asked people to do. He wasn't personally attacking anybody, and he has every right to his viewpoints, including what he doesn't like about Fet-- the naked photos. It's pretty clear that several others here are in agreement with him.
    4 points
  33. Hello everyone, I’m new here and I’m very novice to this whole thing! Recently after a very strange dream, I noticed that spanking from my wife gave me a state of stress relief, I haven’t brought this up to her yet. Has anyone else ever experienced this before?
    4 points
  34. Fill-on crying seems to elude me, but it is something I want very much. It doesn't seem to be about pain or intensity, for me, so it isn't about being spanked longer and harder to achieve tears. If I did get to the point of tears (or sobbing, as in a recent spanking from my Top), I would expect my partner to continue spanking me.
    4 points
  35. Hi everyone, a little nervous to post this but I figured I'd give it a shot. I've had some not so great experience(s) before but I am hoping this will go different. I am searching for a disciplinarian who has a great personality attached. I'd prefer someone single, but I can be flexible. Must have experience (in person, not just online) and someone who can hold a conversation. Must be willing to talk on the phone, meet in person (when the time is right) and be real. Someone please prove to me that not all guys on these sites are fake! 🙂 *Note- I didn't post this in the specific regio
    4 points
  36. Along with this "advanced spanking skill set" and "vast collection of implements," I hope that your conscience and common sense guide you, and that you're not blindly catering to someone's request for abuse. Personally, I find it disturbing that a man would beat a woman until she "cried hysterically and beyond that." What is beyond hysterical?! This is a notable red flag in my book, as is your post in the thread "Scolding," where you openly stated, "Also, a grab of the ponytail and pulling her head up so I can scold right in her ear works wonders." It's crucial to understand the damage we can
    4 points
  37. @ukspankothat poem is beautiful, thanks for sharing. It makes me think of how I have taken a walk with friends through the parking lot at night before the pandemic and seen a full moon and no matter how many times I see it, I am mesmerized and pointed it out but to the others they see the moon all the time and it's lost it's mesmerizing effects on them. I don't think the stars or moon will ever dull in my mind but I have had the majority of my life looking at mud and only glimpses of stars. I tend to look at the man looking at the stars or the mud and have compassion for the man who is seeing
    4 points
  38. Abigail Church pulled into the wide driveway in front of the old Victorian home. This was certainly the place, the number was clearly displayed on the mailbox out front, and it matched the description she was given by her father’s assistant. After parking and turning off the car, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After releasing it in a sigh, she gathered her things and got out to go inside. Her heart was heavy as she walked to the entrance. She knew that this wasn’t the worst thing in the world that she had to do, and it could even be beneficial, but she was annoyed to find herself
    4 points
  39. A stern talking-to gets me every single time.
    4 points
  40. Where do you see a personal attack in this thread? Unless there was something more personal that got deleted, all there is is a vague reference to "the other side." No one called any forum member racist, or any other name. If anyone said, "sassylittle, you are a racist," that would be name calling. Saying there are racists out there to be dealt with in elections is, well, the truth. The statement is vague enough that it's not entirely clear which individuals that applies to, and it's not a statement targeted at any member of this forum. Seems to me that makes it not name calling.
    4 points
  41. To be honest, I do not know what my spankers political views or religion are NOR do I care. I do not ask nor speak of mine. I want to be spanked, with or without some role play. I do NOT care what their political views or religion are and certainly do not express mine. I am there to be spanked for mostly real life bad behavior or bad past behavior. When the spanking session is done, I DO feel better, politics aside. The important thing is I have been punished for my bad behavior and the stress has been released, until the next spanking session.
    4 points
  42. @ NeedDiscipline1 + anyone else it might help Having just recently joined this site and with the lifestyle which my wife and I now live, we no longer meet any 3rd party people from anywhere. However, in the past and on various other sites, we have met many people. We also used to run parties for some sites and their people, back in the earlier days of the internet. So I would say meeting people on these is entirely possible. But as a caveat to that I would counsel extreme caution when meeting internet people ... Because you have no idea who they are in reality or if they have some ot
    4 points
  43. I can deal with some brats who do things that are cute, just for fun, but when it crosses the line to insubordination or being disrespectful to me as their mentor/disciplinarian, then it's going to earn punishment. Lovable, cute brats can bring it on, within reason. When it becomes annoying, rude, or inappropriate, then no.
    4 points
  44. Same here, I'm not opposed to the idea of throwing someone over the knee (not ear or hair pulling though). But I prefer the whole ritual approach of scolding, baring the bottom and over the knee they go.
    4 points
  45. @HerrBlacktooth What you are failing to see is that you are making yourself a " core poster." Your attitude is one of " the foremost expert in BDSM." Most of the people who post are known to other members; actually have met other members and have some humility! No-one knows you and your huge ego is rubbing people the wrong way. I have seen plenty of new members come and post and they are welcomed. So you have sold some sex toys and own one slave and have decades of experience. No-one is questioning that but you are not the only one who has a lot of experience. I and plenty of othe
    4 points
  46. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it and Happy secular Holidays to everyone else. This year has been tough on everyone and not everyone can be with family or friends. Please if you know any elderly or vulnerable people, give them a phone call. It will literally mean the world to them. Please everyone stay safe and look out for those who are on their own this year😀
    4 points
  47. How about a Spanking Needs munch/get together when this is all over? I'd love to finally meet all you nice people!
    4 points
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