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  1. Most spankos are familiar with feeling out-of-place, being different, being "weird" in comparison to our vanilla (non-spanko) counterparts. Many of us remember the days before the Internet and how isolated we felt, how alone we were. We wondered if there were others out there like us. If so, how did we find them when we could barely say the S-word out loud? What if people found out - what judgment would we face? Kinks were a source of derision and humor in many movies and TV programs - so it isn't like we would be welcomed into mainstream society (and we still aren't). So, we forged an online community for spankos and people of kink. We formed a common language. We shared our experiences, our stories, our fantasies, our desires. We shared our fears and our woes, too. But, we had a special place to congregate with others who were "like us" - even though our interests varied widely within the community and many of us had secondary kinks. A place where we could be open about our spankoness. SN is such a place. My online journey really began with reading stories on alt.sex.spanking. Soon after that I found Spanking Memories - which became SIN and then Spanko. I wrote stories and participated in the discussion forums and the chat rooms. I found Spanking Classics - a smaller site, but no less interesting. I started a blog. I met dozens of spankos and chatted with hundreds more. I took a long break from the online community after I got married, moved, and started a new career; I closed the blog and stopped visiting spanking sites for a decade. But, I will never forget the feeling of relief when I discovered thousands of others who wanted to spank or be spanked. Then a long-time spanking friend suggested I visit Spanking Needs. I am glad he did. For the most part, people here are welcoming and open-minded. The forums aren't as lively as I expected, but there is usually a good amount of involvement by both the regulars and the revolving door of short-timers. I enjoy spending time in the chat room here - bouncing ideas off other spankos, discussing our RL experiences, roleplaying, bratting, and spinning fantastical stories. Just like all aspects of life, SN has its share of trolls. We have our fair share of judges and one-wayers, too. Most people can spot a real troll - the type who likes to post inflammatory comments or make outlandish statements to get a rise out of people. That type is easy to ignore, but if you cannot - the site has a "block" feature. You can also report the member to Site Admin. Far more subversive are those few people who absolutely cannot fathom or allow for others to enjoy spanking (real or fantasy) in a way that goes against some imaginary prescribed format. Not every post that deviates from the prescribed / allowable / common spanking situation is a fantasy. When the only comment a new (or long-term) member gets is "this is obviously fantasy" - all that does is discourage genuine people from posting or from opening up. Many spankos still come here from a dark place of isolation. We live most of our lives in the real and very vanilla world. Some of our members feel trapped in a vanilla marriage; some are happily married to a vanilla, but seek an outlet for their spankoness. I am lucky enough to be married to a spanko Top (15 years next month), but I still want to be part of a community that shares my spanking interest. We all deserve a place to be out-and-open. We all get frustrated with the small percentage of trolls who join the site. But there are, quite literally, dozens of regulars who enjoy spanking in all its various forms. There are newbies who join and see a new world open up before them - and perhaps get over-excited by the prospect of so much spankoness all in one place. There are the Brat Pack Members - my brothers and sisters - who live stressful lives, who work hard, take care of others, are crafty and silly and intelligent - and who, most importantly, want a place to decompress and to enjoy a bit of fantasy roleplay that doesn't necessarily reflect who we are in real life. The spanking community thrives on fantasy. I don't know a single spanko who doesn't fantasize. Our fantasies hurt no one. Sharing those fantasies hurts no one. Yes, there are a few here who want to share inappropriate fantasies involving actual children - please report those people to Site Admin. There are those who prefer real discipline, those who want erotic or fun spanking, those who love the pretext of discipline, those who enjoy costumes and roleplaying IRL as well as online. Spanking, for me, is my reality. But it is also in every one of my fantasies. For others it might just be a fervent hope or an idea that has yet to come into fruition. Many here think that their fantasies will never be realized - due to whatever life circumstances prevent it from happening. For the love of all that is good and kinky, please let us have our fantasies. We also have littles here who want to be in that persona while on this site. Please allow them that measure of comfort. You do not have to interact with them and can always block them if you find it too irritating. Same goes for The Brats (who are not always littles and and littles aren't always brats). We are both long-standing subsets of the spanking community and deserve to be accepted along with the rest. What is the point of this thesis? Acceptance. The majority of spankos come here to be accepted. There is no point in letting a small number of trolls ruin that for everyone - and no point in becoming a troll by trying to force us all to fit into a mold.
    18 points
  2. I have such a love/hate relationship with the elements that make up a spanking. I enjoy being spanked - I enjoy being well spanked. But in those intense moments, laid over a lap with my bottom being lit on fire, I absolutely hate it. The worst parts of the spanking are also the best parts of the spanking. I love a thoroughly spanked bottom. It doesn't feel like I really got a spanking unless I was kicking, squirming, and begging for it to stop. And its those moments that make a great spanking for me. When you're being spanked hard and you fear it will never end. When you're desperate, your kegs are kicking and you've clenched your bottom in a pathetic attempt to stop the fire that's ignited all over your bum. When you can't control throwing your hand back to stop it, but it just gets pinned back there. Begging just stumbles out of your mouth in desperation. You surely can't take a second more of the pain, but yet it keeps coming and somehow, your bottom continues to get hotter and hotter. In the moment, absolutely hate everything I described. But its somehow also my favourite part of it.
    8 points
  3. Every workplace I have been in since Anita Hill has had policies on sexual harassment and annual training in the topic. As a result, people behaved appropriately. I’m lucky. Most people who have been abused in the workplace don’t report it. Of those that do, 75% are retaliated against. I’m a journalist. I’ve spent 100s of hours listening to people who were traumatized in the workplace over a period of decades. I’ve had people cry in my arms because they didn’t think anyone would ever believe them or that anything could be done. So yeah, I don’t really think that abuse is something to be laughed off, accepted, or looked upon as someone “playing a trick.” I’m sorry—sort of—if I’ve offended. But it is super hard for me to be silent when I’ve witnessed the harm and know the hard work that people are doing to change things. you want to have a spanking relationship off property with a colleague? Fine. More power to you. But let’s not translate that into saying it is fine for a workplace to be a sexual environment. Unless you are a sex worker, it’s not. And even sex workers are entitled to their boundaries and to safety. I’ve interviewed them too. I’m not a prude, I’m here because I crave a community that understands the deep, intrinsic desires for spanking. But as long as I can put words together, I will advocate for safety. C’mon, it’s 2022. Times they are a’changing.
    8 points
  4. I do - but just for the turn-on factor of watching a spanking.
    7 points
  5. Scolding videos / audio neeeeeds to be a thing! For me its the scolding that helps get the message across, and then the spanking that really makes it stick (well, sometimes😜) i'm usually on the verge of tears before the spankings even begun, the chemistry between an 'Er and an 'Ee whilst being told exactly what you did wrong, why its not acceptable and what you're going to get as a consequence is something really unique and i love it and hate it at the same time haha. P.s. - if anybody wants to scold me, i also have quite the list of reasons too 😅😊
    7 points
  6. I lived and worked in the deep South for many years. An improper boss/supervisor and employee relationship would be very likely to result in charges. Definitely not the norm - not anywhere in the U.S.
    7 points
  7. Many workplaces prohibit certain types of relationships between supervisors and subordinates. Some even prohibit relationships between employees. Even if spanking is purely for discipline, it is still intimate. That type of bond might be considered inappropriate. It could also create an absolute HR nightmare - should either of you wish to terminate the arrangement against the other's wishes. Or should another employee find out and complain. I know you said it happens outside of working hours, but most businesses still discourage after-hours friendships between a supervisor and his or her subordinates. I don't know if you are in that type of work environment. I am and have been for my entire adult life. In one job, I was the supervisor. It wouldn't have been appropriate to form friendships with a subordinate or to hang out with him or her after work hours. It certainly wouldn't have been appropriate to see them without clothing or to touch them in a way that could be considered intimate. It wouldn't matter that we were both consenting adults. It wouldn't matter our intent. That being said... I often imagine that type of scenario. But I like my work and my reputation and my paycheck too much to risk losing it all for a spanking. *Sorry for any typos.
    7 points
  8. It would be easier to explain what I will accept. I have a long list of hard-limits. This list may not apply to anyone else, but it is mine. These are things I would never do to another person, nor will I tolerate them done to me. Play with anyone where there is not an established bond of trust Conduct on the part of the top that is not congruent with respectable leadership Name calling (Nothing beneficial comes of this. It is ugly on the part of the spanker and it does not build trust or benefit the spankee.) Humiliation; verbal degradation of any kind Hair-pulling Ear-grabbing Face-slapping Mouth-soaping Corner-time (I will send a spankee to the corner if HE finds it beneficial, but it's not my thing. I refuse to be cornered myself.) Punching, kicking, or other displays of "hateful" brutality Full nudity Any anal insertion (enemas, plugs, figging, etc.) Sexual overtones Use of large wooden paddles, prison straps, canes, single-tail whips, the tawse, or the loopy Johnny Severe marking. This includes excessive bruising, severe welts, skin blistering, or bleeding of any kind Any conduct that is not nurturing and caring at its core Refusal to honor a safe-word
    6 points
  9. Ah, the tired, old strategy of joining an online community and trolling the members by starting disputes over nothing and name calling. Talk about boring! I won't be responding further to any of this.
    6 points
  10. Not in the workplace, it isn't. Seriously. See @rubyredd's excellent post. The only place workplace spankings are acceptable and won't get anyone fired, sued, or criminally prosecuted is spanko fantasyland.
    6 points
  11. What is confusing? Not everyone on this site thinks spanking is not sexual. Spanko IS my sexuality, so it can't be separated - even when sex is not involved. Most of us don't come to this site because we think we are normal - we come here because we spent a lot of time thinking we weren't.
    6 points
  12. I wish people would stop pretending that spanking is the norm in the south. That’s fantasy trope in this day and age and outs a lot of y’all.
    6 points
  13. "Trying to learn the vernacular as it changes"? That's too funny. It's most interesting that no such "changes" seem to be occurring here on SN, nor on FetLife (the cutting-edge platform where every nuance of spanking can be found), nor with YouTube pros like Jillian Keenan or Princess Kelley May, who discuss every aspect of spanking imaginable. None of them say "bully my bottom." To even think of them saying that is laughable. If you're hoping to introduce this new term and have people follow suit so that you can take credit for it, maybe you'll succeed. Just don't be surprised if you have a hard time convincing spankos to give up their beloved (and timeless!) go-to word: SPANKING. We love that word! "Bully" just doesn't cut it. In addition to the negative connotations attached to it, it simply doesn't sound as good. It doesn't evoke the same types of memories or feelings for people. And it doesn't bring on those beloved chills that we both dread and love when we hear "SPANKING."
    6 points
  14. Smells like a troll to me
    5 points
  15. Or maybe they don't really exist.
    5 points
  16. Hi @jennyjen! Welcome to SN! We appreciate sincere members, so thank you for being vulnerable and sharing with us your struggles. It is nice to meet you. @danadares said it so concisely with his wisdom and insightful advice. I'm in complete agreement about keeping it casual and going slow. Set high standards about what you will and will not accept, and stick to them. This not only weeds out those with lower intentions, but it makes you more valuable to potential partners, as well. You may want to converse (privately) with a few, or with several, such potential partners, all during the same timeframe. This makes the weeding-out process more efficient than befriending one person at a time. It has been my experience that sincere people are generally more willing to put in the work required to build a solid friendship. There is no fast-track to this. It takes time, with numerous conversations and lots of sharing back and forth. It's akin to peeling an onion, layer after layer, and eventually reaching the bulb, the core of who that person is. Watch for inconsistencies in people's stories, as this would indicate a waving red flag. Dishonesty should be a deal-breaker for you. Also watch out for domineering behavior from potential ERs, showing too much sadism or need for power. Tops are perfectly capable of taking control without being jerks. Some tops do a real number on their submissive's mental health. You don't want to get messed up by a bully like this, so choose someone who is kind, even if they are still learning. A good heart and willingness to honor your needs are more valuable than an experienced top who is stubbornly set in his/her ways. In my 2-1/2 years on SN, I have corresponded with a large number of people here. Some came and went. Some remain dear friends to this day. In fact, it may give you hope to learn that a few of my best friends in life are SN members. But there were disappointments along the way, so don't feel disheartened when this happens. It probably will, and that doesn't signify failure. You may not be right for one person, but will be the dream-girl for someone else. You said, "I feel deeply, care deeply, connect deeply and can expect nothing less from the person I am giving this ultimate trust to." As a highly-sensitive person myself, I so, SO relate to this! Here's my tip: Guard your heart. Remember that YOU are this way, but not everyone else is. So don't give this part of yourself away too freely, or you're asking to get stomped on. When sensitive people get hurt, it takes longer for us to heal, and each time this happens, it becomes harder to put ourselves out there again. So guard this deeper part of yourself, and give it only to a partner who is also sensitive, who has earned this level of trust from you.
    5 points
  17. Some spankings can be enjoyable for me depending on implement and longevity of the spanking. Disciplinary spankings are not enjoyable for me at the time given, but I can't deny that feeling residual soreness and thinking about it later can be. The best part for me is really feeling at peace, purged of guilt or stress, feeling cared for (and maybe re-living it, too 😉).
    5 points
  18. It's not a matter of what I find "unthinkable." Heck, I like the fantasy of it. But you are courting trouble if you do it. One company had a $2.6 million judgement against them for spanking an employee as part of a motivation game. A man in Tennesee was convicted of sexual assault and had to register as a sex offender because he spanked two of his employees--even though he'd first made them sign a form saying he had the right to do so. Sure, you can mention lots of things that happen in workplaces that are illegal. They happen. But man, you're taking a huge risk, especially in today's environment. Things have changed even since 2020.
    5 points
  19. What Rubyredd said. I've written enough HR training seminars and textbooks to know that while people may do it, it is illegal to spank an employee. It falls under harassment. Heck, it's illegal to yell at employees (though I know that happens). It's a great fantasy--I enjoy it and have role played it, but I would never ever take or give a spanking to anyone I had a work relationship with, not even (or especially not even) with the business I own. Does it happen? Yes, that's part of what the #metoo movement is all about. Women are finally speaking up about work environments where they were forced into sexual circumstances that they didn't want. It's also why there are now laws that workplaces are required to fairly apply to everyone--even those who want those sort of circumstances. So, Justin, yeah, it's not an acceptable thing even though some people may still practice it. Even in the South, it's illegal, albeit I have no idea how much the law is enforced.
    5 points
  20. Well, I'm late to the party on this thread, but the topic is very closely related to a post I have been ruminating about making. To state the obvious, I think that social media (including forums like this one) - is a communication tool that makes itself available to anyone, for whatever their agenda might be - which is both good and bad. Some see it as a chance to play out identities, fantasies, etc that they do not have the ability, opportunity or courage to put into practice in real life, some use it to vent their aggression, some are looking for validation, approval, some a real connection, etc - there are as many motives and uses as there are people. I don't mean to imply that all uses are "good", only that to a great extent, none of us can control why or how others use this media. What I can offer is this: About 12 years ago, late one night - I stumbled upon this forum. It was a really difficult time in my life and the distraction of "anything spanking" was a welcome respite from what was going on. I had literally never been online in any kind of interactive media before, so the first time someone actually typed out something to me on the screen, I can remember fearfully thinking that somehow the whole world was going to know my secret instantly! In my case, it came naturally (or naively) to just be myself with the people I met. I'm not good at pretense anyway, and I was the most interested in connecting with real people being real. To make a long story a bit shorter; my encouragement to those seeking the same thing, is that you draw to yourself what you are to others. A handful of my dearest, closest friends who have come into my life and who are really more like family - are people that I initially met here online. Our relationships have grown so deep and so far beyond "the spanking thing" - we've shared holiday dinners, family weddings, we've mourned loss together and celebrated births together. As I type this, the love of my life and my best friend who I met in the SN chat room 11 years ago, is sitting across the room reading. That's the payoff for being brave enough to be authentic. On the flipside of things, some here may remember the traumatic catfish experience from a while back that shook many in the community. A woman posed here with several identities, and eventually had one of those fake identities commit "suicide" throwing a number of us into grief and mourning because she had so expertly manipulated the community into believing the identities were real. I can honestly say that to this day, she robbed me of a small piece of idealistic trust in others because I was so taken in...that experience was probably a factor in our drifting away from the forum, along with others. Many years ago in my single days, I went on a lot of cruises. As a student of psychology, I noticed a trend on almost all trips; the first few days it seems to occur to people en masse, that since no one else on the ship really knew them, or would know them after the cruise - it meant they could assume any kind of identity they wanted - almost like putting on a costume. Shy folks became party animals, party animals became book worms, etc...then somewhere around the middle of the trip, almost at the same time - you could see people suddenly realize that if there was an opportunity to act like anyone you wanted to in order to see how people would react to you, why not try being completely and totally yourself? The result? The foundation of lifelong friendships were often formed in the span of hours when people being real, met other people being real. I can't offer advice on the other uses of this forum, but if that is what someone is looking for here - my encouragement is to be real. In my humble opinion, the payoff is much deeper, richer and longer lasting then the jollies that pretending offer.
    5 points
  21. I suspect this is merely a fantasy, and hopefully it is. The legal ramifications of this would be ugly.
    5 points
  22. Stop doing it. Only you can stop yourself from getting so drunk that you're hungover when you have class (and if you can't, you have a problem that won't be solved by any kind of punishment). Only you can choose not to rip up other people's work. Only you can choose to act like an adult instead of a two-year-old. If you're hoping for someone to spank you and make you stop, that's a fantasy. If someone did spank you, that wouldn't be the reason you stopped behaving that way. It might be the reason you give yourself permission to stop behaving that way, but the permission would still be coming from you. And if this behavior really is out of your control, being spanked won't help. Bottom line: if you really are doing these things, and not just fantasizing about it, you're being self destructive. That has real world consequences that a spanking can't solve. If this is a fantasy that you want to use as a rationale for spanking if and when you find a spanker, well and good, but don't wreck your life just to act out a fantasy.
    5 points
  23. Since we started doing serious spanking, my wife and I watch spanking videos frequently. Mostly for educational purposes: how is the spanking done? Which implements are used and how? What makes the spankee to fully surrender to her spanker, etc. We are not looking for porn or any sexual activities in the videos, just the spanking. However, most of the time we do get turned on by it. Do you watch spanking videos? And why (not)?
    4 points
  24. Starting to think someone has multiple accounts .
    4 points
  25. Such a great question! There are certain things that are hard limits for me in any situation - whether fun or disciplinary. • Hitting my calves / lower legs. • Insults, name-calling, slut-shaming, etc. • Wheelbarrow position. • Any grounding that restricts me exercising outside. • I am sure there are more things I wouldn't want in a DD or disciplinary situation, but I can't think of them right now. Most other punishments or disciplinary tactics are fine. I am okay with line / essay writing, mouthsoaping, corner time, grounding, bedtime, etc.
    4 points
  26. The bath brush is the one implement I will not use. I enjoy delivering sting. I don't enjoy the type of deep bruising a bath brush can cause. Leather is king. 👑
    4 points
  27. Yep, spankos still use that word. Personally, I love funishment. It's my favorite flavor of spanking. Funishment can be practiced however the ER and EE choose. It can be a goofy and playful spanking for some imaginary reason, or a stern and strict spanking for a real transgression. The possibilities are endless and totally customizable. But there tends not to be genuine anger or disappointment on the part of the ER. Any such vibe is mere acting. So funishment gives the spanking a "reason," and it can sure feel like the real deal, but it isn't as emotionally heavy as a true punishment session.
    4 points
  28. I watch them for the same reason Ruby does. I don't tend to like the produced ones, which often seem contrived to me.
    4 points
  29. I have loved reading this forum and seeing the responses here. As I reflect on my own experience as a spanko, I wonder why it is that I have never questioned my interest in spanking. It's been with me since I was a little girl. I can remember making crude drawings of spankings when I was as young as seven. I remember reading books as a child and if a spanking was featured, I went back to read and re-read the story many times (Berenstain Bears, Great Brain series). As a teen, I asked all of the guys I dated to spank me (most obliged). But it wasn't until I was well into my thirties that I realized that spanking as real discipline was what I was craving...not role-play, or funishments...but being held accountable for my behavior through spanking. I have no idea why I am a spanko... I just am. And, I think it is one of the beautiful things about me. XOXO
    4 points
  30. I have a lot of thoughts about this and I’m sure some of this is aimed at me since I brought up earlier that we’ve had an influx of trolls both in chat and on the main forums as of late, and I think the first thing I have to get out of the way is that real, honest spankos who are here to connect with other real, honest spankos are allowed 10000% to be annoyed by trolls who come on the site and degrade or put into a bad light TTWD. I have also, for a long as I can remember and recall, looked at spanking stories, spanking sites, and read spanking blogs in secret on the internet wondering if I was a freak because I never in my real life could imagine anyone else finding this appealing. But I also have a high BS meter and I feel fiercely protective of my fellow non-bs’ing spankos. I’m sure no one who is a frequenter of the chatroom has not noticed that some of the most active members from as long as I’ve been here have started to drop off and not come in as much or have taken to not talking in main at all and I know for some of them the reason why. It’s tiring. It’s tedious. And it really does drive away those whom come here for discussion and honesty and camaraderie when the same few trolls spend their time dominating the chats and the forums with their outlandish stories or consistent “I been bad”’s. I’ve mentioned before that I was an active member of the old ADDS chatroom for yeaaaaars before I found and joined SpankingNeeds and it very actively, in real time, died before my and many of the real spankos who frequented it’s eyes because of being taken over by trolls who made it impossible to chat or form any real discussions. Perhaps it’s a trigger for me, or perhaps I’m just at a point in life where I’m way too old and tired for putting up with BS that makes safe spaces like these unenjoyable, or maybe I just realllly don’t want to see the chat and forums turn into what happened with ADDS, but I see not a thing wrong with trying to protect the integrity of the site and it’s members who just genuinely want to chat and make connections. Obviously, this isn’t aimed towards “littles” or “brats” who identify in their kinks as such, but more for the “I punched a cop, what will you do to me?” Or “Im 24 and live at home and my parents spank me naked” crowd who really do bring down the quality of the site. I know if I’d stumbled here ten years ago and the top five topics in main were all badly written trolling posts, I’d certainly feel like this isn’t the place for me.
    4 points
  31. What you shared here makes complete sense, Danadares, and as someone who doesn't crave spankings, giving or receiving, the concept probably sounds ludicrous, right? Haha. Where something like this comes from is that some spankees crave spanking so much, and have wanted it for so long, that they'd be willing to take someone else's punishment just to get this need met. I don't know how often a scenario like this happens in real life, but it gives some of our EEs fodder for their spanking fantasies.
    4 points
  32. Good treatise! I agree. The other side of this coin is that stirring this same pot over and over grows the issue into something bigger than it originally was. So while we most definitely need to acknowledge this slant and pay homage to it, we also want to make sure that we, who are trying to make this forum a better place, are not adding to the problem. I, personally, will give some thought to my responses and examine how I might improve my own approach. Those of us who've been here awhile, and who are bothered by the issues in our recent threads, have a special responsibility to bring peace to these situations. Or, as you suggested, use the "block" feature if we find someone irritating.
    4 points
  33. Yay, at 66 I qualify to offer my perspective to your question; Let me start with my philosophical answer: "Nothing in life stays the same, everything changes". Personally, I suspect one's libido and drive, as well as their kink is affected by a growing number of factors as we age. For example, I've been with my partner for over ten years now, and we've both crossed over the 60+ line together. There are times when it's 10pm, dinner is over, we've had a couple drinks when the libido surges, along with the spank-craving (spacraving?) rises - ten years ago she would have flipped me over her lap and every available piece of furniture, toasted my backside a dozen different ways with 20 different implements until 3am would have found us both sweaty, sighing and very satisfied and happy. Ten years later, when those same cravings happen and it's 10PM, there's ice cream in the freezer, a new episode of Dateline coming on, fresh sheets on the bed and we both have to be at work by 8 😂 😆 That might sound kinda sad to the youngers, but actually there's a very deep peace and comfort in learning when to yield to the changes, and when to rage against them. Mechanics change over time too - sexually and spanktually. There was a time that I could handle almost anything she could dish out - but skin gets thinner as you age, and thresholds change...in my case I take low-dose blood thinners so she has to constrain her enthusiasm. There was also a time when I could "rise" to any occasion on a moments notice, but age changes that too...but I have found that if you apply a lot creativity and especially a sense of humor to the changes that are inevitable, the fun, pleasure and even the satisfaction can become even deeper. Thanks for the thoughtful post, I can remember years ago wondering if my spanking thing would eventually go away because I just could imagine "old people" playing like that... Now I are one😊
    4 points
  34. I don't participate in group chat, so admittedly, I have no take on what goes on there. But when it comes to posts here on the forum, it is oversimplifying to make the blanket statement that "the onus is on the top to respond appropriately." The onus is on EVERYONE to respond appropriately. Spankees are not young children who can't be expected to know how to behave in a grown-up world. They are adults, and playing the part of a bottom does not absolve them of the responsibility of conducting themselves as adults. I agree with your suggestion to ignore posts that do not appeal and move on. That's a polite approach, and one that I will take more often. It's also better than wasting time on someone who has no real interest in learning or improving, and who merely enjoys the attention they're getting from being a troll. It's unfortunate that we've had to deal with a couple of those lately. Many of our EEs are transparent, honest, considerate people. They are a joy and a benefit to our forum. And many of them don't appreciate the obnoxious posts, either, of these few individuals who degrade the quality of our discussion threads. And tops don't fit into a cookie cutter of "this is how you need to act, irregardless of how certain bottoms act." Again, the responsibility for behavior comes down to each individual, whether they are assuming the role of top or bottom. Moreover, tops are individuals, just as bottoms are individuals. Many tops aren't willing to cater to the ones who come off as trouble makers. But if you have compassion for these few, I applaud you. Perhaps YOU would be willing to take the time to kindly and gently guide them? That is thoughtful and would be appreciated. It would benefit them, and it would benefit SN.
    4 points
  35. I have to agree with @MichiganHeadmaster and @Spanknutt. We've all read these posts where someone describes ludicrous behavior that they claim to have engaged in, and for which they want tops to describe what punishment would be meted out to them. These kinds of posts feel self-serving, whether or not the authors intend them to be or not. Many of us appreciate deeper discussions and quality content. Posts containing sincere dialog are far more appreciated than are childish prose and ridiculous stories, trying to be passed off as truth. Whether an individual plays the part of spankee, spanker, or both, we can best engage our fellow members with intelligent, adult contributions.
    4 points
  36. Wise words from you both - as usual. It isn't unusual for a bottom or brat to pose the question for a few reasons - not all of which are completely self-serving. Sometimes we use it as a measure of alignment within our mutual spanking interest. Knowing how you would typically react to a given scenario actually tells us a lot about you as a spanker. Not the complete picture, of course, but an idea of your parameters and how you view consequences. I wouldn't meet with a potential disciplinary partner if s/he was unable or unwilling to respond to this type of query. I will always pose hypotheticals to a potential partner, though not usually as an opener. Some people just want you to build a fantasy - which is one-sided and self-serving. But, consider how many questions I ask here in the forums, in status updates, and in chat. I ask questions because I genuinely like to learn about other spankos. I don't need you (Tops) to spin me a fantasy; my imagination is crafty enough. But, I enjoy the interaction and bouncing ideas off each other. Desperation - not an uncommon reason. A spankee's need for discipline or funishment can multiply exponentially when we don't meet our goals or when we do something "naughty" or out-of-character. It is not your responsibility to take care of that. We know it isn't, but sometimes we reach out to Tops who seem trustworthy or strict or caring - in an effort to be reassured that there are people out there who care and who want us to be successful. I am just speaking from a disciplinary standpoint here. Spanking is a turn-on for many of us. And for those of us with disciplinary leanings (whether pretext or authentic), it is difficult to gauge interest or compatibility or dedication. Choosing a disciplinary partner is a serious undertaking. Some folks approach it in a clunky way that seems insensitive or one-sided. As a woman and bottom, I know Tops do that to me a lot. I try not to take offense. At any rate, why not take the opportunity to backup the conversation to a better starting point? We get a lot of newbies here who don't know how to ask or to explain their needs. The best Tops will guide gently.
    4 points
  37. I agree. Unless I have an arrangement with someone to hold them accountable for agreed-to goals, I wouldn't do anything either. And I certainly wouldn't do anything to someone I have never met. I also agree that people who post that question are mostly looking for some type of response to trip a fantasy. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I wouldn't choose to participate in that conversation without a lot more dialogue first.
    4 points
  38. Starting to think she is posting in Fantasyland and not reality ..
    4 points
  39. Yes... and legal issues aside, the fact remains that if a relationship involves consensual spanking, it is a deeply personal relationship. No matter whether it's sexual or not, no matter whether or not the parties involved ever see each other outside of a spanking scene. Deeply personal relationships between supervisors and subordinates are not appropriate, period. Friendly relationships, yes, but it needs to stay professional. Add a spanking dynamic, and it's no longer a purely professional relationship. Having this kind of relationship with your boss is just as inappropriate as dating each other would be. If she were no longer your boss, that would be different. As long as she is, it's not appropriate to be in a spanking relationship with her.
    4 points
  40. I love the fantasy - but please don't bring spanking into the workplace. Seriously, it's not real life. What you do at home is your business and no one else's, but sexual harassment policies and laws exist to protect everyone's rights. This is a legal minefield you could be stepping into. It doesn't matter whether you are in Texas, Georgia, Florida, or the moon. Don't do it. And if you are the 'ee thinking of asking your boss to spank you for workplace conduct, just think about what kind of position that could put them in and how uncomfortable that might make them feel given the huge legal jeopardy they are subjecting themselves to. This may be a little harsh - but ever heard the expression "don't shit where you eat"? Because it applies here.
    4 points
  41. For me, it's definitely the extension cord doubled up. I received the standard rubber extension cord quite often from my ex-wife for non-discipline spankings. Now I have a fabric-covered cord which also stings like no tomorrow. The marks that are left are distinctive.
    4 points
  42. Weird stuff happens, and if it can be imagined, someone is doing it. I've never seen it, but hey… ? I would not be engaged in workplace spanking, as it is just asking for trouble if the relationship ever breaks down. The spankee is going to have huge leverage, because it's not legal, an employer or boss is in a position of coercion, and it will be sexual harrassment. People squirm at the idea of no "safe word." There's nothing safe that will save a boss or employer from disaster here.
    4 points
  43. I won't post Audio but this is a picture before scolding . Shes not a happy camper ..
    4 points
  44. Well, you wouldn't be a friend of mine, that much is a fact. That's how I'd deal with it. Read the comment posted by @Bramblewine. Then read it three more times. But my guess is that you're really not doing these things, just hoping for juicy threats to fantasize about.
    4 points
  45. Did you just try to read someone's mind? You made an assertion and the poster asked you a follow up, and you psychoanalyze him? "ITS NOT SEXUAL" This entire web site is about non-sexual disciplinary and therapeutic spanking. Not sure why you're acting like someone is arguing your point. "It’s normal for one twin to be more dominant. Google it." A discussion about dominant/nondominant twins has absolutely zero, nothing, nada to do with whether adult spanking is or can be non-sexual. What you asserted is a stand-alone topic. Why are you confusing the two? Now if your point is that folks can be dominant/submissive, mentor/protege, or disciplinarian/disciplinee and sex not enter into the equation, you would be on sound footing. I think you can discuss this without imputing ideas or motives to folks who are answering. And to follow up on what I said above, overwhelmingly folks on this site agree that spanking can be non-sexual. It can also, at times and between certain couples, be sexual. It depends solely on the folks involved.
    4 points
  46. My first exposure to spanking was when my bf (now husband) and I watched a spanking video together. This was just a few days after he had confessed about his spanking needs to me and I asked him to show me a video that he really likes/enjoys watching so I can get a sense of what he was expecting/idealizing in his mind. It was a very domestic video between a wife and a husband , and I liked what I saw. There was no verbal humiliation or degradation, but just a good spanking given by a caring yet stern woman to a man she loved. Even before the end of the video, my hand was itching to get him over my lap bare bottomed and shower him with spanks. I certainly liked what I saw, and it didn't put me off at all.
    4 points
  47. We all have different desires and tolerance levels - and some people really don't mind lasting marks or bruises or welts or whatever. What seems like "crossing a line" to one spanko might just be how another couple enjoys TTWD.
    3 points
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