Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

Leaderboard

Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/24/21 in all areas

  1. I think you've got a lot to learn about women in this community. 😂😂😂😂😂
    9 points
  2. I work by all myself in a pretty large office. I think about it CONSTANTLY. I think about a stranger walking in unexpectedly and spanking me. I think about people I know coming to spank me. I think about trying to find someone to talk to about it all the time. It's a never ending cycle of thinking about it and being in a constant aroused state.
    8 points
  3. Some days my spanking needs absolutely overwhelm me emotionally. I actually feel ashamed of them because of their intensity. I have this deep rooted need to have a motherly woman put me across her knee and spank my bare bottom soundly and then comfort and forgive me. This isn't about roleplay or bratting - just a real deep emotional need. If I could cut it out of myself I would ....
    7 points
  4. EE ladies- Reacquaint yourselves with the safety section of SN. @SpanksLadyHard- This is not a meat market, and this is not FetLife. We're a little classier than that. I think the approach you tried is pitiful. Work on toning down the arrogance and toning up the respect. You can do better.
    7 points
  5. I have had MANY conversations with my therapist about spanking. I said from the get-go that I consider spanking to be a need I have, that it is not exactly attached to my sexuality, and that I do not fit nicely on the BDSM tree. (A previous therapist always insisted on explaining it away as a sexual fetish.) I also explained that having this need has always felt shameful for me, and confusing. Yet in no way do I feel like I need to be punished. I was very clear about that. Now, I have a superb therapist! We have an amazing therapeutic relationship. When I told her “it’s a need” she w
    7 points
  6. The definition of disrespect will be a little different for each top/sub pairing. We all come to these relationships with our individual ideas and standards. But nearly any rule-break (and thereby act of disrespect) will fall within the 5 Ds of the Domestic Discipline world: Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, Defiance, Dangerousness A breech of any of these is an act of disrespect. But I think you may be asking for more specific examples. In my view, a few of these would be mouthiness, foul language, intentionally breaking a rule, either to try to get away with something or in hop
    7 points
  7. If badlilsteven minded it so much, would he have done 38 other videos with her? It may look cruel to some others, but I suspect it is what he wants and needs in his life. That doesn't mean everyone has to. It's a big world.
    7 points
  8. I think there is a trauma-related response disconnect here. It is hard for those who have real unresolved issues related to spanking to understand those who not only seek spankings, but enjoy being disciplined... And vice versa.
    7 points
  9. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile...but I've been busy with stuff...including my graphic novel I finally came up with a name for it...and made a cover...extra credit if you know what famous painting it's based on I also wrote an intro to it...and have been going back through and editing it and relettering all the pages so the type is all the same (and using some better fonts that don't take up so much space...so I can show more artwork)... so even if you read it before you may want to look at it again because it's improved now Annnnnnd...I finally figured out how to make a website
    6 points
  10. There's a method of spanking I've employed over the years which I call the "Three M Method" which I've found to be quite successful so I wanted to share it with you. Imagine three levels of spanking: Minor, Moderate, and Major. These are separate tiers with different levels of severity. These are not concrete categories, however, you will determine certain benchmarks to help guide you when aiming for a particular tier. For example, here are some I've used: Time: You double the time as you go up. A minor spanking is very brief. A moderate spanking is double in length, while a major
    6 points
  11. I can understand you might be uncomfortable with the topic...but it's not true my graphic novel is focused on "glorification of spanking minors". Maybe you should read it before passing judgment...or at least read the intro I wrote to it...it's about my experiences growing up with a spanking fetish...I had these feelings from a very young age...as did alot of spankos I've talked to on here...yes I was spanked as a child and I do talk about that in the first few chapters...but there's alot more than that to my graphic novel...
    6 points
  12. I disagree. Especially in a DD dynamic, the goal of spankings and other punishments is to improve behavior. And from the forums and blogs I’ve been reading, it does work. I will never claim that DD is the only or even the best way to modify behavior, but to say that it’s just the HOH getting their rocks off is disrespectful and incorrect in most cases. It’s total crap the amount of flack ERs have been getting on this forum lately. It is completely illogical to be fine with someone being an EE but not an ER. Newsflash, there can be no EEs if there are no ERs. Respectfully,
    6 points
  13. Of all the bullshit fictions people indulge in around here, this idea of spanking someone until they are “truly sorry” or “truly repentant” has to be one of the biggest. If you beat someone enough, they will say and do anything in their power to put an end to their pain. It’s no different than the cops beating a confession out of a suspect. “Truly sorry” means you actually AGREE about the impact of the alleged offense and CARE about what happened. You can’t beat that into someone. Beating someone into desperation doesn’t make them “sorry.” It just makes them desperate. It just means that
    6 points
  14. I watched the video and see it as a loving wife giving her husband what he needs and deserves. Yes, it's a hard spanking, yes, she makes sure it hurts, but she also makes sure he knows she is doing it out of love and concern for his health. I don't know how you can see this as sadistic.
    6 points
  15. When you meet him...personally I'm going for the nice hotel option in the package...
    5 points
  16. Men tend to write the ads they want to see, not the ads women want to see, which is why they typically get no replies. The word "ad" is short for "advertisement. The first thing they tell people working on Madison Ave. is "know your audience." 'Nuff said.
    5 points
  17. This hasn't happened to me, but it's a good question. When I was just opening my doors to spanking outside guys, a very experienced FLR couple gave me a lot of good advice, and one of the things they taught me was that, after a spanking, sit the spankee down and talk to him. Is he respectful, humble, repentant, relieved? If not, take him back over your knee. I've read several posts here from honest EEs who admit that a spanking that ends too soon is a big disappointment. We don't want to take it too far and cross the line into abuse, yet it should be long enough to do its job and get the
    5 points
  18. Your question was directed to male EEs, so hopefully I'm not out of bounds tossing in my two cents. I'm in agreement with @Am123. What he said was spot-on. I spank men exclusively, and I would never request their sexual release before disciplining them. To each his own, but personally, I think this practice is cruel.
    5 points
  19. This is coming from someone who's biased, of course, but if you ask any of us switches, we're convinced we have the most fun. But chuckling aside, many men crave the accountability, nurturing, and care that a spanking can represent, which they miss from their youth, or which they maybe never received when they were young, but wish to experience later in life. When done conscientiously, it can be healthy for them.
    5 points
  20. I have had to think about a response on this one. I agree with what others have said. I also think that spanking creates a bond between two people that is incomparable, whether it is for discipline or other reasons. I remember when I was new, about 15 years ago, a woman told me the level of trust you have to have when you submit to someone is even stronger than the trust in a marital relationship. I don't know it that is true for everyone, but that was her perspective on it. And when you have that, you can't help but be close to the other person. With my EE, I think it hurts her more if s
    5 points
  21. Does spanking work? No. Does spanking work? Yes. As a lifelong spanko who loves spanking and who also desires some form of discipline and accountability, I know that spanking alone does not work to change my behavior. But, it works in other ways - joy, stress relief, sexual release, etc. It works for me in ways that nothing else does. - is it the ritual of submitting to another person and/or confessing that you screwed up? Hmm... maybe? Confessing my bad behaviors does help. - Pain does not work to deter me at all. - is it the accountability it offers, the feeli
    5 points
  22. I actually don't enjoy doing discipline. I do it with one person because she approached me and asked me to do it. The majority of my spankings are for stress-relief, fulfilling a masochist's needs, or just for fun. I will maintain, however, that while those who submit to discipline may not "enjoy" the sessions, it satisfies a need for them, and that is not for me to judge.
    5 points
  23. "Perhaps that’s not happening in the video, but when I see someone suffer like that I personally can’t help but think it is." I guess I am wondering if your previous unresolved traumatic experiences are coloring your perceptions of much in the spanking world, but especially consentual DD relationships. The story you told is certainly a form of emotional coercion/blackmail, so I get your reaction to it. I would have the same reaction. But assuming that every disciplinary spanking you see or hear about is a coercion of some sort... Or a case of a real sadist crossing agreed upon bound
    5 points
  24. The question at the end of the day is... Is it consensual. Do they-have they discussed it before or after. .. Sometimes I shout, cry, sob, kick, squirm, get out of breath, and want my er to keep going. . We have negotiated safe words, and have discissed at length that those things don't mean I am done or want or need the punishment to stop. I would love to be punishment spanked with an enema, mouth soaping, etc. I finally convinced hubbs to get ginger. This is why you have open communication with your partner. I may have a touch of sadisticness to me, I thoroughly enjoy spanking an
    5 points
  25. I'm not an ER, but have been involved in this lifestyle for many years. I agree with many of the answers here. If this relationship has become a poor fit, aggravating, toxic for one or the other partner, etc then it's time to get out. In the end it won't be good for either of you and will only get worse. Yes, it can be poor form to end a spanking relationship with an EE, but It's more HOW you end it. Many spankers just walk away. They stop all communication with no explanation leaving the EE high and dry and hurt and confused. That causes feelings of abandonment, confusion, worthle
    5 points
  26. Yup, that’s @Chawsee. I’ve known her 16 months, and she STILL catches me off guard! 😂 After each spanking I get, we take a scenic drive to the lake or mountains. She spent some years as a professional driver so she’s very safe and skilled as a tour guide, yet she’s so dang fun because the damndest things will come out of her mouth. 😳😆
    4 points
  27. Tan lines - yes or no? I am on vacation and all my tan lines are in the wrong places (up top / in the front). I need to lay out on my tummy and get my tan lines in the right places.
    4 points
  28. I've been involved in spanking most of my life and I have to say as an EE and a submissive this post turned me off every which way. I will inspect you and your charms, fully clothed at first, buck naked by the time we are ready to proceed. Excuse me? This is not your local porn pick up site. If some ER tried this with me, he'd find himself on the floor as I headed out the door. I hope the females here are smart enough to see this as a major red flag. Sorry, but your approach is very arrogant and disrespectful to the females here. Your replies to the folks in this thread are no bett
    4 points
  29. Yes, but I am even talking about people with websites who promote themselves as pro Dommes and charge money for services. It is not about the title, it is about the work you put in to perfect your craft. Having said that, there are also some really good ones. I would never label myself as a professional, but I have been doing this for 15 years. I have attended demos and classes on how to use certain implements safely. I have instructed others how to do the same. But, to me, it is a passion, not a job or a service.
    4 points
  30. It was a riding crop. My partner went to Tractor Supply Co. together to purchase it. I was trying to stay low-key in the store (because I don't really look like a horse guy). She started swinging the thing around, drawing attention to us while I was hiding my head. It was ok though, after we got home I paid her back for that. 🙂
    4 points
  31. I disagree that a "pro" is any more skilled or experienced than anyone else. I have seen videos where "pro" mistresses didn't know how to control implements and were hitting high, wrapping, etc. There is no diploma for "pros" in our world - you just have to declare yourself to be one.
    4 points
  32. @Lotsapappa I say challenge accepted. You have two different types of Tops in the spanking community. 1- guys that literally get off on beating the shit out of women. No teaching, no progression. Just an ass beating so they feel in charge of something. They usually fall somewhere in the sadist community. Not always but usually. They also tend to have to “order out a lot,” meaning they have a dating profile on every site imaginable, hell they might even have a new one every night. However the results are always the same, they end up single. But they get off on being able to rope them
    4 points
  33. I spank only men. Though I have female friends, and even a couple of female spanko friends, I could never engage in this activity with other women. My sessions are strictly platonic, but spanking is, at its core, erotic for me, so the thought of doing this with someone of the same gender is off-putting. That said, I can understand why some women would choose another female for the safety aspect of not having to worry that her partner might become inappropriately aroused. Some men choose male partners if they have a need to act out a father/son, coach/player, or similar M/m scene. Perhaps
    4 points
  34. Memories of your own experiences are allowed under site guidelines, and it hardly "glorifies" the corporal punishment of minors.
    4 points
  35. You did say it didn’t work to make anyone repentant or sorry. Your words. You said in another thread that you made your pro disciplinarian reenact a video she made you watch so you could show her how wrong it was. You also said you sought out spankers that would feed into what you’re now calling your sick need. Have you ever considered that these spankers would have treated you differently if you had acted differently? Sounds to me like either 1. You specifically sought out cruel disciplinarians or 2. You gave off a vibe of wanting and needing the spanking to be overly severe an
    4 points
  36. The thought that respect is earned, never given, is a popular viewpoint these days. Your husband has reached this mindset through his own collection of experiences and observations, and his belief is a valid one. So I will merely offer an alternate viewpoint: We can choose to be the one to take that first step. When we are respectful to others, they are almost always respectful in return. I recommend the book Born for Love by Leo Buscaglia. This easy-reading masterpiece forever changed how I saw people. When we realize how vulnerable they are-- the book teaches that most of us are actuall
    4 points
  37. Does anyone else feel like they have an innate need for disciplinary spankings? Ever since I was young, I have always felt like I need them to rid myself of guilt and clear the slate when I do something wrong. (Never got it as a child and don’t condone it for children) I don’t actually LIKE being spanked…it hurts like hell and I want it to end, but I need it and feel so much better afterwards. There is absolutely no sexual component for me and it’s strictly for discipline for real offenses. Can anyone relate? I am also conflicted because I am a very confident, strong, educated woman
    4 points
  38. Hubby and I were goofing around and I dictated him "a billion spanks for you!" 😬 He said he didn't want them and I could have them. Anyway... We did the math and if we live another 40 yrs... That would be approx. 50 spanks a minute, every minute, for the next 40 yrs. Lol yikes!
    4 points
  39. If it does, then I'm right there in the minority with you. 😈 💜
    4 points
  40. This is superbly uncalled-for. A spanking fetishist on either side of the paddle is NOT remotely similar to someone whose job it is to execute a person in the name of law. A hangman is neither judge nor jury. I have had a lot of respect for your interpretation of events in this thread, but please be careful of your metaphors. Being a spanko is tough enough in a world that demonizes us; we do not need to demonize each other. Consent is key. Few people being executed CONSENT. But spankers and spankees consent. Non-consent is not permitted in this forum.
    4 points
  41. Just know that to a maternal-type disciplinarian, a man who wants this is a dream come true! Seriously. Hold your head up and don't ever look down on yourself for this need. Just as you want a motherly woman to put you across her knee and spank your bare bottom soundly, then comfort and forgive you, there is a woman somewhere who just as desperately wants a fellow like you who she can spank and nurture.
    4 points
  42. I don't understand why it's necessary to judge other people who have a reached a consensual agreement about spankings and punishments given to the other. If both parties are satisfied with the arrangement what is the issue. If a ER gets enjoyment from delivering a hard spanking punishment what is the issue? Even if the EE hates it at the time as long as they freely entered into the relationship then there isn't an issue. Some times people want to be held accountable in a very painful way and there is nothing wrong with an ER enjoying the role they play in that.
    4 points
  43. I read this and it feels like I've walked through a door into some surreal Bizarro-Land. Maybe it's more like a bow-hunter walking into a room of vegan activists planning their upcoming protests. I thought we were into that sort of thing here. I actually thought we were here to talk about it, and our attraction to it. Is that not it? It would seem that it fits the site URL, but I could be wrong. What are we then supposed to be talking about? Yes, for those people who do not want to be subject to suffering at the hands of a disciplinarian it's quite likely very different. I suppose I'll co
    4 points
  44. Going to chime in as well. Although I have not ended a relationship I do not think any ER is obligated to stick it out. Seems to me there should always be a sense of gratitude to the ER. Not meaning financial consideration but rather a genuine heart felt appreciation for the ER. I would think the EE should convey their gratitude and appreciation and act accordingly.
    4 points
  45. I am only speaking for myself here, but full nudity would have no place in my discipline sessions. I am a bottom/spankee, for reference. (1) Full nudity would be unnecessary and counterintuitive to discipline - as nudity shifts the scene to eroticism. (2) It would ruin my disciplinary headspace because it feels too sexual - and I don't want to mix sex and discipline. (3) Full nudity makes me question the Top's motives - is s/he really focused on my discipline or on something else? (4) Being naked does not heighten my embarrassment [which is pretty much non-existent in the realm of spanking]. I
    4 points
  46. I have ended a relationship, as you know, and I very strongly believe that your main responsibility is to yourself. Should you treat a spanking partner with respect? Always. Does that mean you are required to provide your time, emotional bandwith, and anything else of you to someone else? No. As an aside, I would find it odd that someone would want to essentially coerce a spanker into continuing to see them when they don't want to. I can promise, a spanker who remains with their spankee out of a sense of guilt will soon come to resent the spankee, and that is not healthy at all. For eith
    4 points
  47. In general, I’m more stoic, defiant and argumentative, LOL. But when my disciplinarian looks me in the eye with a certain look she has, I know what’s coming, and the attitude drains away pretty quickly. Then it’s her scolding that really takes me the extra mile as far as headspace goes. I guess every spankee is different when it comes to the amount and intensity of the scolding that works best for them, but I crave and need serious scoldings. When she does a good job with that, I go completely submissive. I don’t play with my fingers or shift my weight from foot to foot, but I’m sca
    4 points
  48. Same here. It is a need (and also a want) for me. Not just discipline, but all forms of spanking.
    4 points
  49. Right?! I am using a spanker friend to help with my weight loss. I find that one part of a spanking dynamic (for me) is wanting to please my top. Thus, when I do well I get praised and love how that makes me feel. Also, if I slip and break one of the commitments I've made, the bath brush makes an appearance! So far, 20lbs lost...
    4 points
  50. Aww now I want to have a bratty spanko vacation with you guys! Lol Could be so much fun! And lots and lots.of spanks! I know you guys aren't Into group play but I can dream on a whisp now amd again right? Btw, my phone kept turning whisp into whips. 😳😂
    3 points
×
×
  • Create New...