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  1. 6 points
    Too many "spanking" websites are much more than spanking. I am not interested in what, to me, amounts to hardcore porn. Nor am I into torture. I would like spanking websites strictly devoted to spanking.
  2. 5 points
    Hey there...I feel a little awkward, as I’ve only just accepted the fact that I’m actually interested in this. I’m a 28 year old lesbian, and I grew up in a very strict home with far too much and too harsh discipline for children. I swore I would never spank a child. It’s been confusing trying to figure out why the subject interests me so deeply. I’ve asked previous partners to spank me, but they were uncomfortable. I’m currently single, and realizing I can actually seek out a community of people just like me. So...here I am! Hi. My name is Emily. Sometimes go by Emma. Hi.
  3. 5 points
    Hannah. You play with integrity; that matters. Please feel free to shift from side to side as you please for whatever reason makes sense to you at the time. My only request is to watch out for those simulataneous posts, because the rest of us may not know which direction to attribute to you.
  4. 5 points
    Been asked again about my profile pic, like I have before when changing it, so here it is for you all! That's prosecco in my hand, not wine, btw!
  5. 5 points
    I am not sure how the OP navigates anywhere on the Internet or Life in general if this innocuous little conservative spanking site offends his sensibilities so much. I am sitting here completely beside myself, dumbfounded, with my mouth hanging open, agog and aghast. Maybe this site is just not for you, OP. If there is a website out there about spanking that is tamer than Spanking Needs, I will eat my shorts. I don't think it's likely. Maybe going back to the text based Usenet chat format like in the early pre-2000 internet era is what you're looking for OP.
  6. 5 points
    It's one thing to argue for the means not to have avatars and the like displayed if you prefer but quite another to suggest a bottom cannot (or should not) be displayed on a site that is about spanking rather or not it's sexual or for some of us more disciplinary in nature because that is usually the seat that receives what we're about. Yes such an avatar might not be what you may wish others to use in say a work place or public transport but in such settings there is a good chance the text itself may be overseen which may make for awkward conversations and blushes. I wouldn't for instance open a Anime magazine that might have ads or features of content 15 or over on a crowded bus not because I think there's anything wrong with it or because of issues with bodies but more out of consideration for people who haven't chosen to view what I may like or feel comfortable with.
  7. 5 points
    Go to FetLife and there's no way you can avoid seeing a lot of naked people - and not just rear-ends. But unlike FetLife, the emphasis here is not on a salacious or prurient interest in spanking. I'm here for the dialogue, not the imagery. I kind of agree that this site could do without people using their naked pics as avatars. However, I'm not real keen on having it be a rule enforced by the system administrator either. It would just be nice if everybody could voluntarily observe some tasteful guidelines.
  8. 5 points
    R.I.P. to the 9 victims of the plane crash, including the pilot, Kobe's daughter, and fellow passengers. It's always a shock when young people die suddenly in accidents. However, that doesn't automatically make who died a saint. Kobe Bryant was a great player. Don't forget that he was also a violent rapist. I understand people being nostalgic and talking about his career. I don't understand the constant talk on social media about him being some wonderful person that did no wrong. I'm sure his rape victim doesn't appreciate it either.
  9. 4 points
    I’m sure many wouldn’t like this rule, but I wonder why we don’t ask people not to show nakedness in their profile photos. Seriously, not long ago, I went to the website and saw that of 4 of the main forums, the same person had posted in each one. How did I know? The little photo of the person’s red rear appeared at each of the forum buttons, meaning they were the most recent poster. To me (and I think to most), spanking relationships, regardless of if they are considered sexual in any way, are intimate highly personal relationships. And quality (rather than flippant) friendships can develop between participants. Would I expect to go onto a high quality dating site and see people in forms of undress? No, rather this aspect of someone may be saved for later if we meet enough times. Or since this is an advice site, would I expect a reputable relationship advice site to have profiles showing people in forms of undress? Maybe there should be a segregated section of the site where this kind of stuff is shown, rather than anywhere.
  10. 4 points
    I had this spanking incident recently with my wife that I thought I would share with you all. Perhaps, maybe some of you will find it mildly amusing, or have even had a similar experience. My wife and I have a CoDD arrangement, and a short list of transgressions that warrant punishment (a serious paddling). But we are spankos and spank mostly for fun. so lots of spanking going on in any case. It's a familiar activity. Anyways, my wife is bad about getting routine maintenance done on her car. She had a major service needed on her car at the dealer, and I was too busy to take the car in and cool my heels there while they do the maintenance. Plus, it's a hassle to coordinate availability of her car for this. I've been a good egg so far and monitor her car for maintenance and take it in. But recently, my workload has gotten crazy, so I told her to take the car in. She doesn't follow through and get the car serviced. And I mention it to her, and she gives me this BS about how I always did it before, and it's mechanical. I should be handling it, blah blah blah. So, I start fuming. Now, this is not part of our formal coDD spankable infraction list. But this is like a super common theme on spanking videos, right? The wife/girlfriend/sub doesn't maintain her car and gets a spanking. That thought pops into my head. So, I tell her "Get over here, you!" And I grab her wrist and take her over my lap for a spanking. Totally spur of the moment. But she has jeans on, and they are pretty tight, and there's no way I can pull them down given our relative positions, and I don't have a decent spanking implement, so I figure, what the hell, it's the principle of the thing, so I proceed to smack her behind, over the jeans, with my hand. As the spanking commences, she's protesting and telling me, yes, yes, I will get the car serviced, I promise, I promise. After maybe a couple dozen smacks or so, that's the end of it. She gets up, kind of gets herself adjusted and collected, and says, "I'll get the car serviced. I promise." but then she smirks at me and says "But not from the spanking, 'cause that's the most wimpy spanking I ever got from you!" I'm like "Why you little brat!" I chase her playfully and we're laughing and having fun with it. At this point, I'm not really mad any more. It's all kind of amusing, and that's the end of the disciplinary moment, such as it was. But then I realize, my hand kind of hurts. Probably more than her butt. That's the last time I try to hand-spank her over jeans. Her behind is way to tough at this point. Jeans are way too thick. And my hand, alas, is only getting weaker with age.
  11. 4 points
  12. 4 points
  13. 4 points
    And after 76 pages of wild gyrations we find ourselves back at the beginning. Thanks shy.
  14. 4 points
    Hey All, I have a few questions in regards to the spanking community and what are the biggest issues to someone who is interested in spanking. I tried to add as many options as I could think up, but feel free to share any comments or options you can think of that are important to you. Personally, I feel like BDSM has encompassed most of the community and spanking is a niche within a niche, so it doesn't bring enough tractions. Do you agree or are there more pressing issues? Thanks for your help!
  15. 4 points
    A few stills from some fun a friend and I had with a nightshot camera.
  16. 4 points
    I don’t think it’s weird at all. I’ve had some spankees tell me, that certain implements were a hard limit for that very same reason. There’s really no need to jump in to getting spanked with a belt. If you have/or find a spanker that you trust, there are plenty of other implements out there. You can get hand spankings also, and leave it at that. Down the road, when you are truly comfortable with someone and if you chose to try a belt, have them start slowly/not too hard. Definitely baby steps with that implement. Be open with spankers about the trigger so they are informed. If you are into this lifestyle, do what’s best for you. Don’t feel pressured to do something to please someone else, that you aren’t 100% comfortable with.
  17. 4 points
    Congrats to AG who totally derailed the team strategy
  18. 4 points
    Hello everyone. I am a 38 year old female looking to chat with people that have some of the same interest as me. I am interested in spanking as a form of discipline. I was spanked up until the age of 9, but I have never been spanked as an adult. I recently moved to the Greenville, NC area. I would like to meet someone I can try this with in person, but I am also open to trying an online mentor/disciplinarian type of relationship. So if anyone is interested in chatting just hit me up.
  19. 4 points
    Hello, website newbie here. Having only just posted an introduction, I thought why not start up a discussion to better break the ice in my new community? So, I've never spanked anyone or been spanked. Anyone I find on the site will be a first for me on both sides of the hand. Heck, I've never even dated before. And this is like 10 times more intimate I imagine. So naturally my imagination is running wild because it has no idea of what to expect! Will being a spankee be more or less painful than I've imagined? How will being a spanker? What if I'm a bad spankee or spanker that makes the experience totally lame for the other party? I'm hoping to both quell my nerves and to add some more detail to my imagination by hearing different experiences from everyone.
  20. 4 points
    There are things I personally do not like that are allowed here, however, too many and/or rules that are too stringent stifle the ability to be open and expressive. I think we all need to realize that allowing everyone to freely express themselves aside from a set of basic rules might result in something offending us. That is just life and the sooner we all learn to accept that we don't have the right to go through life without being offended the better off we will all be.
  21. 3 points
    You guys are all bark and no bite...just good for a laugh!!
  22. 3 points
  23. 3 points
    https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2011/12/kinky-blogger-sex-diary.html
  24. 3 points
    But SJE it doesn't matter if @AfterGeometry gives you demerits or not cause his demerits are completely meaningless. His demerits are a great example of all bark and no bite
  25. 3 points
    What's a joke? Since when are those allowed? I thought we had to be completely serious the whole time How else are we supposed to actually play the game?
  26. 3 points
    Don't look for "playmates" on Fetlife. Look for local gatherings where you can meet people and see if you connect. If you are female, you have to be very specific and very direct on your profile about what you are looking for and what you are NOT looking for. I have a friend who moved from NC to FL a few years back and she told me after she listed her new location as Tampa she had 500 random messages. Example of what an effective profile might look like: "I am a spankee, and interested in finding local events where I can meet others who share my interest. Please read my profile completely before contacting me. If you are looking for a hook-up, don't bother - I will block you. If your profile contains a photo of your dick, don't bother - I will block you. If you have something meaningful you would like to discuss in a respectful manner, please let me know." That's just an example and I don't know what you are looking for, but you do have to be that explicit if you want to . I met my EE on Fetlife (actually, she approached me). I have many friends in the local community I would never have met without Fetlife. It is a tool, nothing more, but a good one if you use it the right way.
  27. 3 points
    Your friend could be pushing you to broaden your circle, due to being married, and your professional relationship. Your friend, knowingly may not want to jeopardize those things, but is pushing you to broaden your horizons, so that you can get your needs met by someone else. Just a guess. Good luck
  28. 3 points
    Jillian Keenan literally wrote the book on this. It is called "sex with Shakespeare" I cannot empathize enough how much reading this will help impact on your association with spanking in regards to childhood abuse. Once upon a time spanking enthusiasts, were classified under the DSM 4 as masochistic personality disorder. And although they've eliminated that, you will find a lot of people use this lifestyle, helping them cope with such traumatic experiences with great success. Much like a rape victim has a potential to develop a rape fantasy, that is associated with an element under her or his control. lessening the impact of the actual violation.
  29. 3 points
    Hello, NC here. I'm new to all this. At my age I'm not only beginning to accept that I may be hard-wired for spanking, but that I may also be bisexual, in that I am attracted to confident, strong, dominant women. This is why I chose the Phoenix moniker. It's all very confusing and leaves me feeling very small, lost, and alone. I've never experienced an adult spanking so I still don't know if it is something that I am really into or just think I'm into. From all my exploring, all the signs are there that I am really into spanking. Ever since I was young and thought I was a dirty minded kid I had reactions to spanking scenes in movies and television shows. I had trouble, still have trouble, viewing these scenes around others because of how it appeals to me. Originally I thought I was only seeking platonic spanking, but the more I explore and the more I think I am looking for a more loving and caring relationship with spanking for fun and discipline. However this is a very isolating and lonely thing especially this late in life. I'm glad to have found a group. I hope it helps find me something more.
  30. 3 points
    My vanilla GF of a few months has known since we met I'm "kinky" and like the girl to be dominate, but we hadn't gotten into a lot of my exact kinks. Well I recently opened up to her about the spanking/discipline side. She's fairly quiet and passive. I honestly wasn't sure how well it would go. It took me a lot to ask her in person for it even though we talked about it via text. Last night was the first time. She was so nervous I laid bare butt over her lap for at least 30 minutes before she could conjure up the courage to actually spank me. Finally 1 spank led to 2. Which lead to 3. Which lead to....you get it. She actually did an exceptional job. Hit the right spots. Paced things out. And actually went harder than I expected. Hand only. Now she's looking up all she can about spanking and is looking forward to doing it again. I may be getting more than I bargained for!
  31. 3 points
    i may be losing, but i followed the rules I'm 12
  32. 3 points
    Ladies, so I was really intrigued when my husband approached me with this, and now I am addicted! I am on FIRE for him and I really enjoy spanking him. Is there a private FB group or something along the likes ONLY for disciplinary wives? I would love to get advice from other women who are HOH in their marriage. Thanks!
  33. 3 points
  34. 3 points
    Not knowing the situation, I’d just say, not to worry about people who give you a hard time and focus on the kind people here. Some don’t like me here, and I could care less. I never disrespect people here or in real life. It’s just a reality in life, not everyone will like us. We have to love ourselves enough, that we don’t let others opinions bother us. Good luck. If you enjoy this site and find it helpful, I hope that you stay.
  35. 3 points
    Careful AG, I have my halo on at the moment, but it can tarnish quickly.
  36. 3 points
    Everyone stop posting until someone figures out the correct score. 10 minute break, Also, it seems that some are not waiting the 3 minutes.
  37. 3 points
    Like parents waiting after errant daughters curfew
  38. 3 points
    Think I am going to have to get COL to change my username. Thinking about Bestlittlegirlintheworld. This badgirl thing is to hard to pull off😂
  39. 3 points
    I just began reading Sex with Shakespear and can't put the book down. (Thank you to those here on SN who recommended it!) I like Jillian Keenan's insights and I agree with everything she said in the video above. I was born with a spanking fetish; my former husband was not. He got into the game with me because it aroused me so much that it made for dynamite sex. It did work for us, so it's certainly possible. If your mate enjoys it at least some of the time, you're not entirely doomed. But for me, spanking was/is a MUST. For him, it was something he went along with for the fringe benefit it provided. Later, after my divorce, I had two different boyfriends who were not at all interested in spanking, and that didn't work for me. The fetishist is often the one who suffers in such pairings, repressing their needs to the point of frustration. Personally, I would never enter another serious relationship unless the man in question also shared this fetish. I believe the happiest couplings are with those who both crave it.
  40. 3 points
    I think anyone coming to this site should recognize such pictures are a possibility. For some of us who choose to never post pictures - or even for those who do - it gives us some insight in to the preferences of the poster. We are all adults here. If you do not like seeing such pictures, ignore the pictures and limit the interaction with the poster if it makes you more comfortable. I'm a non-picture person who has no interest in ever posting pics here, but why ruin it for those who enjoy it?
  41. 3 points
    This naughty bottom has a despicable bad habit, worthy of a pirate, not a lady. Even though daily usage ended a year ago she keeps going back to it once in a while "for comfort". Each time she does a photo of the resulting punishment appears here along with a fuller description of her deed.
  42. 3 points
    Good advice! I might even suggest,the first time limit it to just using the hand.
  43. 3 points
    My first experience as a spanker was at age 18 during my first semester in college, a girl who I was friends with (but not romantically) asked to be spanked for motivation and punishment over getting bad grades. Having grown up being spanked both at home and at school, I had a really good background on how to give a spanking, so I agreed and continued being her disciplinarian for quite a while. My first real spanking as an adult was a couple years later, from the mother of a girl I was dating at the time who felt it was necessary. I think that anyone going into their first spanking as either an ER or an EE needs to do so cautiously and make sure there's plenty of discussion first. One very common thing that people say is they can take whatever the other person is able to give. In reality, you have no idea what you might be able to tolerate from that person, nor how hard they might be able to spank you, so giving them permission to go at it with maximum intensity during your first spanking is never a good plan. You will learn what works for you and what doesn't. Always agree on the use of a safe word to immediately stop the action if it becomes too much.
  44. 3 points
    Welcome! Good for you for seeking out information. You thought ahead more than I did. I was not always a spankee, but that was how I started out. I had always had a fascination and felt that spankee was the right road for me, at the time, Since i was fresh off the turnip truck, I didn't know what I didn't know and had a few less-than-memorable/awkward first times. A few thoughts: - Most of us have an idealized notion of what that first time will be like or who it will be with. Do your best to have reasonable expectations. You'll both be interacting this way for the first time, regardless of how seasoned the other person may be. - Take your time and speak with a lot of people. If you feel a connection with someone, ask a lot of questions. - Agree to meet publicly for coffee or some such first. - Start with a basic session as far as what is used, positions, etc. If you are a spanker, you have to have practice. If you are the spankee, you'd likely be better building up tolerance slowly rather than something intense that might put you off of the whole idea. Don't try to accomplish everything in one visit. No way to know how painful it will be until you try. If you start out with a cane, as opposed to a hand spanking on zero tolerance, probably so. - If you are the spanker, start much the same way. It is not safe to start swinging implements right off. Get to know the other person's tolerances and preferences, the way your spanker should do with you. I would suggest starting with the post "So you're going to get a spanking." It is, I believe, under Spanking Safety and Advice, There are lots of replies and people adding their thoughts. Best of luck. Have fun and be safe!
  45. 3 points
    Have you met in person, in public first? Not being “too concerned” about getting attacked, doesn’t sound promising to me. I suggest meeting first, possibly talking more. You should trust someone 100 percent before putting yourself in such a position. Just my 2 cents. Good luck.
  46. 3 points
    I’m sorry that your partner refused and ridiculed your desire. That’s very sad. I wonder if he did not understand or could not fulfill your wishes. Many can not do it, they just can’t bring themselves to do what is needed due to their inhibitions. The fact that they are well meaning does not help. Even l, who was interested in spanking from the get go could not deliver the consistent discipline my partner needed in the beginning. It took a lot of patience and coaching from her so we got on the same page and her needs were fulfilled. My personal experience is that the crazy need subsides and becomes more controllable once you fulfill it at least once. But l will not take responsibility if it actually gets more out of hand. There is nothing wrong with you because you want to be spanked. At most it’s a way to cope with something and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s pretty tame. Again from personal experience (and low sample size of about 8 spankees or so) you can like being spanked and be a great person with no more issues than the average Joe or Jane. The obsession comes from your need not being met.
  47. 3 points
    I don't think there is any such thing as Topping from the bottom. I call that communication. 🙂
  48. 3 points
    I agree with Jaded. I too voted for finding partners. Distance and complicated situations have been the main problem. You find some-one perfect for your spanking needs and they live miles away and complicated " real life" situations just add to the problem. I am very picky who I do this with- if the person isn' t on the same page, I don' t see the point in doing it at all. I also voted for finding a private location. It' s not always practical to let others into your home or vice versa. Being a " spanko" can be very frustrating a lot of the time. I also would like to add , that if you aren' t the sort of person that goes to parties or munches it is very hard to find some-one who matches your needs...
  49. 3 points
    I can't spank my wife or be spanked by her without getting very aroused, every time. We've had some sessions that are intended to be for punishment, but they wind up being erotic, sometimes to the point where it's hard to tell what we're actually doing. That having been said, the effects of our sorta' disciplinary sessions are still quite positive, I think. Maybe they would be better if we kept the two activities strictly separated. I don't know. We're very experienced with spanking and kink for erotic purposes (for decades), but new to disciplinary spanking (since last summer), so this is just an interesting process trying to figure it out. I see suggestions about no sex for 24 to 48 hours after the deed is done. Now THAT would be punishment worse than the spanking itself.
  50. 3 points
    I never received enemas growing up. But I have given many, many, many disciplinary enemas (and received a few). Generally I combine them with spankings. I think MOST of people's fears of disciplinary enemas (except for pain... they're far easier to bear than spankings; even a mild spanking should genuinely hurt; while disciplinary enemas involve discomfort, genuine pain during an enema calls for stopping immediately) are founded. They're uncomfortable (enemas can also be erotic, but anything with the word "disciplinary" in it is going to be uncomfortable). They're intimate (though I once gave a young woman a weekly spanking and enema every Saturday for two years and we never had any other contact more intimate than a weekly fully clothed goodbye hug of comfort and support). And modesty is out the window. And, they take a while. But I've found them EXTRAORDINARILY effective for those who really need to feel subject to the authority of someone else. I've dealt with the paddle fighters... they might not even mean to, but they just cannot help but fight. And, I've dealt with those who just cannot surrender to the spanking. There's no fighting the enema. And, when having to retain an uncomfortably large volume of soapy water, causing uncomfortable cramping until someone decides you can release, there's just no pretending you're in charge. From both ends of the nozzle (like spanking, 99% giving, 1% receiving), I highly recommend this as a disciplinary tool. While my experience (giving and receiving) has been primarily combined with spankings, I've found that it impacts some people far more quickly than does a spanking. Of course, just my perspective~
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