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  1. 7 points
    I didn't know if I did this my name is Ashley , I'm 23 and from Phoenix, Arizona . Also I'm a spankee . Nice to meet everyone .
  2. 5 points
    This should be tailored to your relationship. How often is she in trouble? If it's often then once a week might be best, less often then once or twice a month. Set it up so she always knows when it will be. All spankings should be bare bottom, but the position should be up to you. As a spankee I prefer it to be once a week. It's definitely lighter than a punishment spanking, but still hurts and leaves enough of a reminder to watch my behavior. Personally, I think maintenance spankings are important in a full time relationship.
  3. 4 points
    If this is a true encounter I find it very strange. If someone did that to me, I'd knock them on there ass...just saying. It would be pure sexual harassment. I would also find it gross and demeaning to have some stranger come up and do this no matter what there sexual orientation my be, male or female or whatever. The way you describe the woman is rather repulsive. There are all sexual orientations here and I see this post pushing a lot of buttons. This seems very far fetched to me in this day and age. Not something I want to play into. If you are serious, then talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. If not, there is enough weird fantasy here already. I see you as having a desire for public humiliation...I don't see you as a spankee.
  4. 4 points
    I'm with shygurl and DaChief on this one, for sure. It would be prudent to talk to your wife and get her feelings on this issue. Maintenance can be an important part of a relationship, but you may not want to simply impose your will concerning them (as regards frequency, severity, bare or clothes, etc.) without first getting her input. I can see how doing so may cause resentment if she is not in agreement that maintenance would be beneficial.
  5. 4 points
    Professor Spanknutt, headmaster at Flogwarts...gotta admit it has a nice ring to it...
  6. 4 points
    No, but I totally think we have the talent here at SN to start a Spanking School. I nominate @Spanknutt to be one of our spanking instructors, for sure. He has the experience and temperament. Wow, a Spanking Academy of Arts, I think this could be a thing!
  7. 3 points
    How about "It's really a matter of perspective".
  8. 3 points
    Focus on what's gone right. Keep your mind on the reason for the goals ... who your priorities are truly for and who they benefit.
  9. 3 points
    I think it really depends why you're on here and what you want to get out of it... For me I'm interested in making friends but not romantic relationships (I already have one!) I find spanking fascinating and complicated and it's a big part of who I am... So I want to learn about it and talk about my interests with other people and not be alone with it... For better or for worse almost all my relationships have been with vanillas so it's not something I can talk about in the same way with them... My boyfriend does spank me but for him it's a kind of foreplay...it's not a core part of who he is. And he's not going to be interested in talking about details of which kind of hairbrush smacks the best So I really have to agree with secretman that talking to other people about spanking on here isn't the same thing as pursuing an intimate spanking relationship... That's one of the reasons I like this site unlike others I've seen that seem more like dating sites...though I realize some people use this more like a dating site it's not its only or main purpose I think... Would I ever tell my boyfriend I'm on here? I don't know... It's not that I'd worry he'd think I was cheating...it's more that I don't know if he can ever understand the whole spanking thing as a vanilla and is going to think there's something wrong with me for having this interest in the way I do... I know that's not ideal in a relationship but on the other hand I think I'm being realistic...
  10. 3 points
    One day I will learn not to push peoples buttons. I was hanging out with a spanko friend of mine and was being a bit of a brat. We were at a local pub, quiet but reasonably busy. At one point I pushed him too far, he stood and took my hand leading my to the back of the place where the restroom was. He led me in, locked the door, turned on the fan, and told me I was getting a spanking. He undid my jeans, lowered my pants and panties to mid thigh, bent me over and grabbed me around the waste and spanked my bare bottom hard and fast. It probably only last 30 seconds but my butt was burning. He let me up and told me to get cleaned up then meet him back at the bar. I emerged a few minutes later well spanked and remorseful. I looked around assuming everyone in the place new what happened, but in reality they didn’t. The bathroom was some what secluded and the music was loud. But I sure learned my lesson, and can now say I have been spanked semi-publicly🤦🏻‍♀️.
  11. 3 points
    We need to be able to edit posts. I make frequent typos and it's starting to bite me in the A when I can't go fix it. I know it's on the To-Do list, thanks for all your hard work.
  12. 3 points
    Some pretty good con-artist here which is so disappointing and sad. They definitely make it quite difficult for those that are honest and real.
  13. 3 points
    Here you go AG (From an insouciant we)
  14. 3 points
    He might as well give up....you can't beat a good group of EEs....unless we allow him tto!!
  15. 3 points
    Too many times to count or remember. Happens at least once a week, sometimes more.
  16. 3 points
    creepy dyke midget is actually super offensive. This post was wild, and if it's real I just feel sorry for all parties involved. I'm not going to grace it with any other response.
  17. 3 points
    I would think once a week would be in order, but at a lower intensity . We shoot for at least once a week, but we do it for as a fix to my spanking fetish, not for any punishment or maintenance. It's always severe and satisfying.
  18. 3 points
    Wow this sounds pretty unsafe. One should always keep safety as a first priority when meeting people. Always meet in a public place first before getting spanked.
  19. 3 points
    Funny you should mention. I actually have done a few demos locally for newbies talking about safe striking areas, how to use certain implements properly, etc. So count me in.
  20. 3 points
    I don't mean to drag the conversation off topic, but I agree about amateur videos. I don't care how well produced commercial videos are or how hot the models are, I still have a hard time getting past the fact that they are contrived which makes them "not real" in my mind. Give me real people giving real spankings any day.
  21. 3 points
    I can't say this ever happened to me though I've worked many different jobs to make ends meet...lots of food service, receptionist, dog walker, photographers assistant and even costumed characters at kids' parties! I did get sexually harassed alot though...food service was definitely the worst ...lots of rude comments and even slapping my bottom or grabbing my chest. Ugh. I'd like to think there's less of that nowadays but then I hear about Mario Batali There were some interesting remarks about spanking at work though. I already posted about the spanko guy who later became my boyfriend who threatened to put me over his knee for bringing the wrong order (twice!) Another really funny incident I remember was when I worked as a waitress at a place in NYC in the early 90s. The chef was this gay British guy who was very nice. The staff were sitting around having the 'house meal' after closing time and we were talking about where people had traveled. For some reason I said "I've never been to Spain" and he either had trouble with American accents or was hard of hearing because he misheard it as "I've never been spanked." So he turned to me and said "Really? With that bottom I'm quite sure you could find a nice chap to spank it for you." I was teased relentlessly about that forever after... I got to know him pretty well and did even tell him about my spanking interests and he told me all about his adventures at NYC leather bars.
  22. 3 points
    There needs to be a reason?
  23. 2 points
    Seriously? You're surprised that a 24 year old woman located in Tulsa, probably looking for an ongoing situation, isn't jumping up to reply to a 72 year old man who might be passing through a location 100 miles away at some indefinite time? I think it would have been more shocking if she *had* replied...
  24. 2 points
    And sometimes the good girls do too😁
  25. 2 points
    You shouldn't get spanked for your feelings. Everyone is allowed bad days.
  26. 2 points
    I have recently found myself in rather an interesting situation, and I wanted to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and has any advice to share. Not long ago I met a man through a vanilla dating app. We got together for a drink and really hit it off. Subsequent to that date, I found out spanking is among his interests, and he is a switch (with his preference for role depending somewhat upon his mood). At first I thought that might present a problem, as I have identified as primarily a bottom ever since I had spanked my first partner at his request and found it didn't appeal to me all that much. I ended up thinking I could deliver a spanking if asked, but it was not something I thought I ever would seek out. That remained fairly accurate until I started seeing this new man. While I don't know where this will lead, if anywhere at all, I find that our discussions have caused me to reflect on my earlier experiences as well as the course of my "spanko life" in general. And what I am finding is that I'm not so certain anymore how much of a switch I might actually be (meaning I now suspect I may be more of one than I thought). I am surprised to find that, at this point, administering a spanking to this particular partner has quite a lot of appeal, but still I wouldn't want to spank just anyone. It's such a curious and complex dynamic, this dominance and submission. I can't explain why the thought of turning nearly any one of my former partners over my knee holds no appeal whatsoever, but here I am looking very much forward to doing so with this one. Just when you think you know yourself, life throws you for a loop! Anyway, I wonder if anyone else has found this to be true. Have you been able to switch with one or two folks, but not with everyone? What did you find fueled the desire to experience that different dynamic? Has anyone else found their preferences are fluid or evolve over time?
  27. 2 points
    I'm not sure I can offer much, beyond all the great advice in this thread, other then support. We have all been there. Remember any journey begins with a first step, then a second, and so on. Each step gets easier as you go. That does not mean all the steps will be easy, life isn't like that, but if they get hard they will get easier again. Keep taking that first step. For me I also try to remember and appreciate all the good things in my life. That is also not easy at times, it is all to easy to forget the good and only see the bad, but the good is what defines us and heps us move forward. So keep looking and moving forward, and you'll make it as long as you give yourself a break, and a chance to make it. Best of luck.
  28. 2 points
    Take things one day at a time. If you’re struggling with a goal, sometimes it seems impossible when you focus on the big picture, instead of working on the daily goal. Sometimes I was going minute to minute, as even one day at a time was too much. reward yourself with something on days you meet your goal. Each day won’t be perfect. Life happens , and can send us back into an unhealthy spiral, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start over. I am dealing with an injury right now, another dog loss, my grandma in a nursing home from a broken hip. It’s a lot for me to get motivated to even get my dog to the park daily. But that is something he enjoys, and I enjoy. Seems like just taking the first step is the hardest. Once I get myself in the car and start driving there, it’s easier. Sitting home dreading going, gets me in a vicious cycle, and I get more depressed. So taking the first step is important. Also if it’s a goal where it is safe to give yourself a day off from, I would give myself a break one day a week. Just a few ideas. Talking to friends may also encourage you as well. Focus and think about how good you felt about yourself on days you met your goal. My doctor told me yesterday, “Don’t be so hard on yourself , I don’t want you to become your worst enemy”. Good luck, whatever you’re working on sounds important to you, which leads me to believe, you will get there 😀
  29. 2 points
    Know that you have plenty of people here on SN forums who love and support you and want to see you succeed. I am 100% certain that all of us at various times in our lives have felt like we weren't making progress quickly enough towards our goals. We are also often our own worst enemies and most critical observers. Taking one day at a time, accepting the fact that it's impossible to turn everything around overnight, but continuing to work on things that you know will be beneficial are all going to help you through it. Maybe setting one goal a week, and working toward that one harder than any of the other issues bothering you would be beneficial.
  30. 2 points
    Sometimes I absolutely hate myself for having a spanking fetish, Tonight’s one of those nights. I wish I didn’t have these thoughts and fantasies.
  31. 2 points
    This is me in time out after a bare bottom spanking over her knee

    © Damian r.

  32. 2 points
    I am calling this out as completely ridiculous and obviously fake. Yes, and it's very offensive and what was said in 150,000 words it seems, could have been said in 20. And what the hell is meant by "meta pleasure" .... ? Oh well. Just SMDH. 🙄
  33. 2 points
    SPANKING & PUNISHMENT CHECKLIST This list is a communication tool for both Spankers and Spankees. Rate them from 0-5 also short remarks are welcome if you feel they are needed. 0 You have no desire to do this activity. It is a hard limit. 1 You no desire for this activity, but if asked of you, you are likely to agree. 2 You are willing to do this activity, reluctantly. 3 You would like to experience this activity occasionally. 4 You would like to experience this activity regularly 5 This activity is a major turn-on for you and you would like to experience it as much as possible, or it simply feels "natural" to you in this lifestyle. TYPE Erotic Fun = Just Because = Discipline When Master/Daddy feels it’s needed = Punishment When Master/Daddy feels it’s needed even if spouse is not compliant = CLOTHING Over clothing = Bare bottom = Over panties = Over panties then to bare = Completely nude = PJs and bare bottom = Panties or teddy hiked into crack= Over thong = OTK/Spanker sitting on straight-backed chair = Over lap on bed or sofa = OTK/Spanker's leg over spankee's legs and holding wrists = Spankee laying on bed with pillows raising bottom = Bent over edge of bed = Bent over straight-backed chair = Over back of sofa/chair = Over arm of sofa/chair = Bent over partner's hip and leg = Kneeling on hands and knees = Bent over with hands on knees = Bent over grabbing ankles = Laying over foot stool = Over kitchen table = Over spanking horse = Against wall or standing straight up = Against wall with cuffs/chain/rope = Being in a bent or down position with cuffs/chain/rope = Whipping post = Whipping Post restrained = In stocks (neck) = In stocks (wrist and ankle while standing) In spanking stocks (waist stock) = Hand = Hairbrush = Paddle-wooden = Paddle-wooden with holes = Leather paddle = Belt = Strap = Razor Strop = Tree switch = Wooden ruler = Wooden spoon = Rubber/plastic spatula = Wooden spatula (flat no curve) = Wooden bath brush = Sandal/Slipper = Cane = Flogger-suede = Flogger-leather = Tawse = Rubber strap = Rubber paddle = Plastic / lexan paddle = Riding Crop = Yardstick = Spanking type and or implement or punishment to be decided by chance; use dice or go fish etc. = Corner time with hands at sides = Corner time with hands folded in front = Corner time with hands on head = Corner time holding implement of correction = Corner time bottom shoved out = Corner time sitting in chair = Corner time holding books or something else aloft (like books)= Corner time sitting and writing lines = Fetching a switch = Rapid spanking = Slow spanking = Lectures/scolding before spanking = Scolding during spanking = Rubbing bottom by spankee = Rubbing bottom by Spanker = Stripped = Phrases used/Trigger language (I've been a naughty girl = Thank you Sir may I have another, etc.) = Having a safeword for all other than punishment spankings = Having a safeword during punishment spankings = Restraints/Cuffs = Following orders = Counting strokes = Sent to bed early = Grounded from something = Mouth washing = Spanker baring subs bottom = Spankee ordered to bare bottom = Told what to expect ahead of time = Not told what to expect at all = Shop for implements together = Spankee required to ask for a spanking = Spankee required to address spanker by, Sir, or another title = Submission spankings given every day (including any punishment due) = Submission spankings given every second day = Submission spankings given once a week = Submission spankings given twice a month = Submission spankings given once a month = Implement being shown to spankee before use = Implement being kept secret from spankee until use = Multiple implements used during a spanking session other than punishment Multiple implements used during punishment = Only one implement besides hand used during punishment = Only implement used during punishment = Only hand used during punishment = Penalties (extra swats or other) for not following orders/missing count/covering up/moving out of position, etc. = Phone call earlier in day telling what is to come (be in corner waiting/what to wear/etc.) = Building anticipation for upcoming spanking-telling in advance that a spanking is coming = Spankee explaining why they are receiving correction = Tied down to wait in a position with bare bottom = Made to hold a position without restraint with bare bottom (bent over, laying on bed, etc) = Spankee holds implement during hand spanking, then hands implement to Spanker when asked = Use of nipple clamps before, during or after spanking = Being made to wear a chastity device before during or after a spanking = Being made to masturbate before during or after a spanking = Figging (Ginger root in anus) before, during or after spanking = Icing between spankings = Soothing lotion between spankings = Oil between spankings = Icy/Hot or other warming agent or creams, toothpaste etc. between spankings = Wet bottom spankings = Being made to cry = Corner time standing bare bottom-any variation = Sitting bottom on hard chair = Holding some other punishment position = Writing lines or essay = Made to apologize for being naughty = Apologizes on her own = Made to wear sign (I have been spanked for being a bad girl, etc)= Made to post or tell other spanking friends about punishment = Hugs/cuddling = Sitting on lap = Sexual activity of any kind = Spankee required to thank spanker for spanking = Spankee thanks spanker on her own = Spankee made to feel loved, cherished, protected, secure = Sent straight to bed = Allowed to cry being cuddled or supported = Photographs of marks or red bottom standing in corner or lying over bed = Being grounded for a period of time = Loss of privileges = Spankee required to drop panties and show spanker condition of bottom whenever asked =
  34. 2 points
    'Self-pity solves nothing. It is an appealing way to avoid solutions and wallow in an addictive sense of helplessness. Events will never conform perfectly to our desires. Life is a teacher. Bad experiences teach us that we can survive bad experiences. Move forward.'
  35. 2 points
    I think it's very important not to push her in directions she's uncomfortable with. That's just the wrong approach, and only asking for trouble. Your relationship is the most important thing. I agree with shygurl that you can gently, respectfully, and not all at once have some discussion about your needs and the psychology surrounding being spanked for you. After that has sunk in for a period of time, if she hasn't brought it up in the meantime, you can respectfully mention that some people use the services of disciplinarians who are non sexual to get the spankings they need. I wouldn't ask permission to actually use one unless she gives you some inclination that she thinks that would be acceptable. And you probably shouldn't go behind her back to get a real time spanking, since she's very likely to see you naked at some point afterward and could see any bruises or marks.
  36. 2 points
    We are. Can't say the same for all the ER's out there. You put up a valiant fight though, AG.😀
  37. 2 points
    Recommendations?? Oh yes please!!! Along with a pic!! haha
  38. 2 points
    When spankers and spankers meet get to know each other thru sites like Skype,kik and hang outs,then meet in a restraunt.Be safe its like hitchhiking
  39. 2 points
    I came across a radio station that was playing old shows with Edward Bergen and Charlie McCarthy. I love this quote: "Um, can you reword the question and leave a little room for an evasive answer?"
  40. 2 points
    More rambling thoughts; After a week or so of chatting with a couple of ee’s, I found myself in a state of mind that changes with what I feel is best for her and realize that as an Er I can and sometimes do, that is make assumptions. In the past I felt that I was able to adjust my style to fit a girls needs and wants in regards to her situation, in effect sometimes make her feel that I come across as being judgmental, condescending, controlling to name a few behaviors. My topic ‘Wearing the right hat’ seems to fit in this scenario, it can be difficult to get to know someone initially in a cyber chat, even more difficult is to get to know, like and care for someone and not take her self defeating, sometimes dangerous behaviors seriously, thus allowing it to happen without being considered a ‘prick’ so to speak. I have always tried to separate being a Disciplinarian from a Mentor to helping as a Figure to fill the quest that she may be attempting to conquer. Possibly I have a paternal instinct, a desire to help, maybe enjoy meeting and learning how a ee came to learn and accept her needs. At any rate, I was reminded in the past week or so that I wear different hats, as well as have tools that need to be chosen carefully when chatting and meeting a future ee for whatever purpose the she is seeking an Er. I have always stressed honesty when an ee is talking about her issues with an Er, I realize honestly has layers that need to be tugged and pulled apart to be able to get to core issues, tough stuff but trust and an Er’s integrity needs to prevail in order for it to work. The learning process never ends, ‘ If you are not going forward, you are going backwards ‘ Rick.
  41. 2 points
    As others have said, it depends on the people and circumstances. I've had many witnessed spankings and since I am so open about this part of my life...I have no problem with it. I am in a consensual non-consent relationship and if he felt I needed a spanking and others were present, I might be embarrassed in front of strangers, but I wouldn't have a problem with him doing it. I'm not embarrassed by the spanking itself (Just the reasons for it at times), but would find it somewhat humiliating in front of a complete stranger. I would figure it was my fault for doing something to get myself into that situation. My guy always tells me if I don't want a spanking then don't do something that gets you one. Now if the person is lifestyle friendly...I wouldn't bat an eye. As a matter of fact I recently got a couple of witnessed spankings in front of a lifestyle friend.. This person I was spanked in front of was also spanked. When it was discipline and serious I was in the same room for a bit. Once I felt she was comfortable I left them to it and went into another room. Later the spanking was a little more relaxed and I did a bit of taunting and laughing, but mostly as she was getting new implements tried out on her. I was just trying to lighten the mood as she is the nervous type. I did get a pretty good spanking for those taunts after the fact!! Sometimes the fun is worth the spanking!!! In your situation...I see nothing wrong with it. They are good friends. If you and your EE have an agreement that punishment is up to you, then #2 would be fine. If you decide things together as you go then discussing it first may be the best option. I'm the type that would prefer #2. I prefer him to make all the decisions. My advice is to make sure you know both parties well enough to make this decision. In my experience, most true spankees don't mind. It adds another element to the spanking. Teasing and taunting among friends is second nature and may be tough for you to control. You may have to deal with that by a second spanking!!!! I can't help but say...you missed a spot!!! It slips out every time!
  42. 2 points
    I always seem to need a spanking the most when he isn't here to give it. I think the need is coming from missing him so much. Excited for him and his trip, but looking forward to his return. Can't shake my sadness.
  43. 2 points
    When I first read this post by @Spanknutt I wanted to argue against. I could think of lots of words that describe the experience of spanking, such as exciting, thrilling, scary, calming, even piquing. I was ready to argue that being excited, thrilled, or piqued is different, albeit subtly different. For me spanking is something I crave, especially when stressed. I only in the last couple of years came out of the closet, so to speak. I approached my husband about spanking as a therapy, as well as a craving. He agreed to let me look for someone(s) to be my spanker. We agreed that it "wasn't sexual" but that it was "intimate". My first spanker was a man (who was not at all interested in a sexual experience) and now, my regular spanker is a woman who is also my mentor. I was at a crossroads and sex was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to argue that my husband gets naked for a massage on a regular basis. I don't believe that there is anything remotely sexual about it. But, he is naked, being touched by a woman, he experiences pain at the time and lasting soreness afterwards, he feels better for the experience, *and* goes back for more a couple of months later. I wanted to argue that these parallels to the spanking experience extends to the sexuality. But here is the reality. I get more good-girl/fun spankings than punishment spankings. I *want* to be spanked when I see my mentor. I want to explore submission and giving up control; it is a release. I crave that attention to my backside. It is exciting, thrilling, scary, calming, and even piquing. I am not piqued when I have to see an obgyn, or the massage therapist. Neither do I crave these experiences. But spanking - I will always crave those. I know because I always have. If I had to choose between having a regular sex-life a regular non-sexual-spanking-life, I would choose the latter. I would miss the former, but I would choose the latter. So, I thought further. When I was a kid, the idea of getting the strap on the hand at school, was all punishment. There was nothing entertaining, or exciting about it. But the threat or the actual experience of a smack on the bottom had me all a-quiver. Getting spanked for punishment felt like an assault (getting the strap at school didn't feel like that, though I didn't like it). Images of spanking or stories of spanking set my heart a-flutter. I wish my peers had given me birthday spanks (allowing me to pretend to not want them and to try to run away), but it rarely happened. One of my earliest memory is fantasizing about spanking - I'm sure I was still in diapers. Then I thought further. Would I ever participate in consensual (or otherwise) spanking with any of my adult children or their peers? The answer is definitively No. I absolutely wouldn't go there. Why? Because it feels like it would be a violation - that I would be the one violating them, no matter whom was being spanked. I read Jillian Keenan's book Sex and Shakespeare and she talks about spanking as being a sexuality. I think that is what it is with me - part of my sexuality. So, I am going to agree with Spanknutt that some aspect of TTWD is sexual. I don't find it a sexual experience in the traditional sense (but in the interest of full disclosure, I can get aroused by the idea of spanking and submission, but I have never had an erotic spanking and I have never climaxed during a spanking) but there is something under the surface that gets my juices going; like the thrill of an extreme sport or the calming vindication of winning a contest; but it is something that is very personal. LB
  44. 2 points
    news Weighted Blankets for Anxiety and PTSD Jul 02, 2018Donna Chambers Tags weighted blanket PTSD, weighted blankets for anxiety and PTSD The Benefits of Weighted Blankets for Anxiety and PTSD Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects about 5.2 million people in the United States. The symptoms of PTSD can manifest after an individual has experienced a traumatic or life-threatening event. While PTSD is perhaps most closely associated with people who have experienced military combat, PTSD can also occur after a car accident, a near-death experience, an assault or any traumatic of life-threatening experience (or experiences). For many people with PTSD, sleeping is a big challenge. If you’re struggling with this condition, a weighted blanket for anxiety and PTSD may help you get the rest you need. What Is PTSD? PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder. Other anxiety disorders include panic disorder, social anxiety disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), PTSD “is a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat or other violent personal assault.” In past decades, PTSD was most closely associated with combat experiences, which is why the disorder went by names like “shell shock” and “combat fatigue.” While it’s almost certain that veterans have experienced PTSD for as long as war has existed, doctors didn’t truly begin to study the condition it until World War I. One of the earliest PTSD researchers was an English physician named Charles Myers, who wrote about shell shock in 1915. At first, doctors theorized that brain damage from proximity to artillery blasts was the culprit for the symptoms of PTSD. However, this theory didn’t account for service members who seemed to have symptoms even when they hadn’t been exposed to high-powered blasts. Over time, researchers began to understand that PTSD wasn’t the result of brain damage. Rather, it seemed to develop after particularly stressful and traumatic experiences. The more mental health professionals studied the disorder, the more they discovered that PTSD can affect anyone who has suffered through a frightening or stressful event. In fact, 1 in 11 people will experience PTSD at some point in their life. 4 Common Symptoms of PTSD Although symptoms vary, there are four hallmark signs of PTSD, per the APA. Intrusive Thoughts - This is a symptom with which most people are familiar, as it frequently involves “flashbacks.” When a person with PTSD has a flashback, it can feel like they are reliving the traumatic event. They may sleep walk or suffer panic attacks as they struggle to remember they are not in danger. Avoiding Reminders - Avoidance is a natural human behavior. When we dislike something, we tend to do whatever we can to stay away from it. For example, if you hate making small talk at parties, you might decline an invitation to a wedding or work gathering. For people with PTSD, however, avoidance can take a serious toll on their social life and even their careers. The reason is that PTSD avoidance tends to creep into most aspects of a person’s life. A good example of this is a traumatic car accident. If you were involved in a serious crash, you might suddenly find that even sitting in a car makes you sweat and panic. As you might imagine, a sudden inability to drive can stop someone from getting to work, taking children to school or running errands. Negative Thoughts and Feelings - PTSD tends to make sufferers doubt themselves and their self-worth. It can also prompt people to feel shame about their condition. They make start to drift away from friendships and personal relationships. For many PTSD sufferers, depression and anxiety are co-occurring disorders. Arousal and Reactive Symptoms - In this context, arousal refers to psychological arousal, which is a state of being physiologically alert. Some people describe it as “firing on all cylinders” or being “wired” all the time. When a person feels this way, their brain tells their body that danger is imminent. When this happens, the body kicks into a “fight or flight” response, which elevates the heart rate and raises the individual’s blood pressure. Staying like this for extended periods of time can tax the heart and raise cortisol (stress) levels. An individual doesn’t have to experience all four categories of symptoms to be diagnosed with PTSD, and it’s actually uncommon for a person to suffer with all four. However, even one type of symptom can seriously interfere with an individual’s everyday life. Additionally, researchers have found that people with PTSD also frequently suffer from co-occurring disorders, such as fibromyalgia. Treatment Options for PTSD There are many types of therapy and treatment for anxiety and PTSD. What works for one person may not be as effective for another, and you may have to experiment with a few different therapies before finding what works best for you. It’s also important to see a doctor or therapist who specializes in the treatment of PTSD. As the Anxiety and Depression Association of America states, “It is important for anyone with PTSD to be treated by a mental health care professional who is experienced with PTSD. Some people will need to try different treatments to find what works for their symptoms.” Some common treatment options for PTSD include: Cognitive Behavior Therapy - Often abbreviated CBT, cognitive behavior therapy concentrates on altering the way the person responds to the negative feelings that arise because of their PTSD. A popular CBT technique involves writing down thoughts that crop up when you find yourself in an upsetting situation and then later analyzing your response and how you could modify it. Exposure Therapy - Exposure therapy is exactly what it sounds like. The idea is that by intentionally exposing yourself to situations you might avoid, you “prove” to your subconscious that those things aren’t as frightening or uncomfortable as you thought. Mental health professionals have discovered that avoiding our fears can actually make them worse, and that exposure therapy can help us confront and overcome the challenges that stop us from fully enjoying life. For example, someone who has been involved in a car accident may develop anxiety when they drive or ride as a passenger in a vehicle. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing - Eye movement desensitization reprocessing, or EMDR, is a type of therapy that works by having the person think of a traumatic memory or experience, hold that thought in their mind, and then focus their eyes on some other type of stimulus, such as a laser pointer, flashing light or a swaying object like the kind a hypnotist might use. The goal is to retrain the mind to disassociate from the traumatic feelings. Many clinicians have hailed EMDR as a breakthrough therapy, but there is still debate around its efficacy. As with any other type of therapy, it’s best to talk to your doctor before giving it a go. Mental health professionals also stress the importance of addressing the side effects of PTSD. As many PTSD and anxiety sufferers know, lack of sleep is a common side effect. When your mind is consumed with worry and stress, it’s often difficult, if not impossible, to shut it off and settle down for the night. 4 Ways Weighted Blankets Can Help People With PTSD A weighted blanket may help alleviate many of the symptoms of PTSD. Fewer Nightmares, Better Sleep It’s common for people with PTSD to experience nightmares and interrupted sleep. While just 5 percent of the general population has nightmares, a study of Vietnam veterans revealed that 52 percent experienced nightmares. By using a form of therapy called deep touch pressure stimulation, weighted blankets prompt the body to produce more serotonin, the chemical that helps regulate the body’s sleep cycle. In a 2006 study, researchers for the journal Occupational Therapy in Mental Health observed that people who slept with a weighted blanket had lower physiological symptoms of stress, including reduced blood pressure, lower pulse rates and better pulse oximetry. Among study participants, 63 percent said they felt less anxious and 78 percent “preferred the weighted blanket as a calming modality.” In a 2015 study published in the Journal of Sleep Medicine & Disorders, researchers found that participants who slept with a weighted blanket found it easier to settle down for sleep, slept longer, had higher sleep quality and woke more refreshed in the morning. As the authors of the study stated, “Overall, we found that when the participants used the weighted blanket, they had a calmer night’s sleep. A weighted blanket may aid in reducing insomnia through altered tactile inputs, thus may provide an innovative, non-pharmacological approach and complementary tool to improve sleep quality.” If your PTSD keeps you up at night or makes it difficult to stay asleep throughout the night, a weighted blanket might help you feel more relaxed and less anxious, which could translate into deeper, more restorative sleep. As a result of better sleep, people with PTSD may also experience less brain fog during the day (since the negative effects of sleep deprivation build over time). Relieve Physiological Symptoms of Stress Using a weighted blanket may also reduce the amount of cortisol in the body. Known as the “stress hormone,” cortisol has been linked to a wide variety of health problems, including insomnia, stroke and heart attack. Reduce Physical Pain Deep touch pressure stimulation has been shown to produce calm, reduce anxiety and ease physical pain. When autism researcher Dr. Temple Grandin studied the gentle squeezing and touching effects of deep touch pressure stimulation therapy, she observed that patients were less anxious and more at ease with touch. They also experienced lower amounts of pain throughout the body. Improve Mood through Oxytocin Deep touch pressure stimulation may also help boost levels of oxytocin, the “feel good” chemical in the brain. In a study published in the Harvard Review of Psychiatry, researchers found that “[oxytocin] is increasingly recognized as an important regulator of human social behaviors, including social decision making, evaluating and responding to social stimuli, mediating social interactions, and forming social memories.” Try a Weighted Blanket for Anxiety and PTSD Anxiety and PTSD can take a toll on your life and your sleep habits. A weighted blanket may help you manage your PTSD symptoms, get higher quality sleep, and improve your overall health. SensaCalm has made the highest quality weighted blankets right here in the U.S.A. for a decade. Order your weighted blanket today. Questions? We love to hear from our customers. Give us a call at 855-736-7222 or use our contact form to get in touch. How do you manage your PTSD symptoms? Let us know by tweeting us @SensaCalm. Disclaimer: The content on this website is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Talk to your doctor or healthcare provider before undertaking any type of therapy or treatment. Share this post Share Share on Facebook Tweet Tweet
  45. 2 points
    From an EE side. The power-exchange is a crave. I can see it being similar for an ER. There are asexual members on the board. It can be an intimate and bonding act — but it doesn’t mean it’s physically sexually arousing. Those that are in it for discipline, typically do privilege removal, grounding, time outs, lines, corner time and other various punishments. Your also not taking in account for members that see therapists and let them know of their lifestyle choices and are encouraged to do it safety. For some of us — spanking is just a tool in a toolbox.
  46. 2 points
    Ya know, this post made me realize that my last spanking was so long ago I have almost no memory of it. I think its been three years but it feels a lot longer. It was Easter. I remember it was punishment but not what I did and that I refused to allow myself to cry until it was over. I know that I was over his knee, that I blistered and they broke open, that it was the first time anyone cared enough to clean me up. I was sore for most of a week. He held me for a long time and let me lay by his side, which was also a first. I can't remember what we talked about, the clothes we wore, the sound of his voice, or what we did afterwards but I remember his kindness and being in awe of it.
  47. 2 points
    I've never given a spanking at work. There's one young lady though who has a very bratty personality. My other co-workers gave her the nickname "Lil Troublemaker." Because I am a spanko, I was keeping my guard up around her, given the political correctness climate. Anyway, one day I had her in a one-on-one training meeting and as we sat down she looks at me and in an almost little girl's voice says, "Am I in trouble?" Before my brain knew what was happening, my ears heard my mouth say, "Yeah, I thought it was time we had a talk, young lady." BOOM If she's not one of us, then this is the most bizarre coincidence of my life. We are in different offices, and the training session was remote over a video conferencing program. No real chance to explore things with her, given the distances involved. And maybe that's a good thing. She keeps pressuring me to come visit that office though...
  48. 2 points
    I was a personnel manager for 25 years and there were many times I wished I could have taken employees to the office and given them a few licks with paddle instead of writing them up. No muss, no fuss, then send them back to work. It probably would have been less stressful for everyone.
  49. 2 points
    I too am a Switch. The spankings given or received are for discipline. I receive the spankings when they are necessary to correct my misbehavior or attitudes and the cleansing effect they have on me Likewise, I give sound spankings for the same reasons and effects.
  50. 2 points
    "My hand is like a paddle"? Never heard that one before but makes me imagine a spanko pirate who lost his hand and attaches different implements instead of just a hook. Okay, I have an overactive imagination
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