I've known I was a spankee for as long as I can remember, but in my early 20's I knew something was missing and I needed this in my life. My partner at that time didn't want to do it, he was intrigued with it but did not want to participate.
When we split and years later I got the confidence to try again I knew this time it had to be a part of our lifestyle together. I tried general dating but bringing up a subject like this was near impossible. There was a group on FB for UK spankers and I joined, there was a guy around my age in a nearby town and we got chatting. We chatted for ages on and off and then eventually we met up, clicked instantly and he became my mentor.
He initiallly gave me 11 rules around Respect (Sir during discipline or instruction, etc), Obedience (to follow orders etc), Honesty (omisson is lying, own up t any misdemeanor instantly), finances, safety, etc, It went up to 16 and eventually 22 rules, I had them on a habit list on my phone, if I didn't break that rule that day I would check it off and then screen shoot the phone and send it to him. He set up our first meeting the next Friday, but within a day I got cheeky, taking teasing and joking too far, being too sarcastic etc. One of the rules was only 2 coffees a day, coming down from 6 on doctors orders so I got headaches and him reinforcing the rule caused a lot more cheekiness. The meeting got brought forward to Monday (it was now Tuesday). I went and visited my mom and was told she may have cancer, I dealt with it very badly, not by expressing any emotion because I struggled to, but by buying a bottle of Baileys and when my disabled son was down, glugged it. He phoned me and spoke for hours, cheering me up, telling funny stories, getting to know me and then verbally helping me to bed...the spanking was brought forward to that Thursday.
He arrived at 7, had a cup of coffee, chatted for 30 minutes, chatted some more, and some more...then all of a sudden those dreaded words 'STAND UP', then looking at my trousers 'you won't need those.' After removing them I was over his knee for a hand spank, wooden spoon and paddling. He then stayed and chatted again for a while, and when he got up to leave I was holding the bottle and wouldn't let him take it. He let me fight a little bit then the words came again 'STAND UP! Pants off and over!' On this occassion as he spanked he talked about it all again, reinforcing his earlier words. He kept asking 'still think it's worth it?' and I would say 'I'm not going to lie to you!'...and the spanking continued. I wouldn't give up, so an initial 'gentle first spanking' got transformed into a more severe one in wheelbarrow position with the paddle and then the diaper - it was at this point I gave up my fight!
Within 12 days I had 5 spanks, most coming from cheek and taking teasing too far, omitting or speeding. He'd text me ALL the time, we'd speak on the phone for hours, go for walks and coffee together, he'd come and cook lunch and taught me how to make a proper Latte' I always felt so safe and relaxed around him, he was so easy to talk to, so easy to be around. I got spanked in the beginning constantly but as time went on the gaps got bigger but the spankings got worse...including skin stretching positions, bigger and worse paddles, the belt, etc,
In November I was then diagnosed with PTSD and panic attacks from my past trauma, and he was the one person who kept me alive when all I wanted to do was give up. He'd come at 1am and just sit with me when I had 6 panic attacks in a night and couldn't sleep, or when I had such a bad low I tried to push everyone away. As I got on meds and suffered with the side effects he was there every step of the way. We became best friends, I'd honestly found my soumate.
He opened up about some very difficult things going on in his own life, like abuse from his partner of over a decade and wanting to leave but not knowing what he'd do, or if he'd cope alone, not wanting to lose everything, or hurt her, disappoint his parents etc. Eventually he went to work and was too scared to go home so came to me, he stayed for almost a week and having split up with his now ex we entered into a relationship. But my employers kicked him out due to my job and his parents forced him to return back to his ex. As his friends we knew the only way he was getting out of there was in a bodybag and tried to warn his family but they didn't believe me - in their eyes I was 'the other woman'. She took his keys, phone and wallet - but 10 days later after not hearing from him, late at night me managed to get out and go to his parents.
We continued on with our relationship with the ex accepting they were split and the reasons why, but the parents not - and making every moment difficult. It was the happiest period of my life, for the first time I was truly loved, not abused, in love with someone incredible to live and fight for. He was the hole in my life that had always been missing. We met often, continued with the DD relationship and added a little light BDSM in. We planned our lives together, what we'd do , where we'd live etc.
On the 6th March 2021 we went and walked in the Derby Peak District, and then he was to come back to mine for a severe punishment as I'd been very rude in an argument, upgraded my phone when he'd said no, and other things. But when he arrived he was visibly upset and told me that his parents had said either he ends it with me or they cut him off. I guess he chose money and inheritance over me as he was gone, never to be heard from again. We spent the evening crying together, but he still walked out.
I was broken - 2 days later I had a miscarriage of a baby I didn't know I was 6.5 weeks pregnant with. I had a complete breakdown, the miscarriage made me very ill and I gave up. I almost lost the child I already have and it took my parents staying for 7 weeks to get me through. Even as I write this tears are pouring down my cheeks. I am moving on slowly and finding happiness in the small things again, but my heart is still very vulnerable. I feel like I was so close to losing everything.
After the life I've had I promised I would NEVER let anyone close again, but he wormed his way into my heart, and made me the happiest I have ever been. Though I ended up broken and crushed, he taught me emotion again and the ability to cry, he gave me confidence so I can let others in, to open my heart again. He took a person that had made herself hard, ultra independent and self reliant and made a much softer, open and dependant person. He took that fear of others away and left me with a much softer, kinder and more confident heart.
Edited by leighaddyTiH