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Spanking Is A Values Added Activity


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#1 ButtPain

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 10:23 AM

In our economic system we take raw materials, add human labour and perhaps the use of certain tools and eventually end up with a value added product worth much more than the original raw materials were. A good spanking is put together in a very similar manner. It also takes human raw material and adds human labour and equipment to produce a more satisfied human result. Think of a good spanking as a value added process. The raw materials of spanking pleasure are the spankee’s very personal needs and desires. These may include a lack of childhood nurturing, an inability to feel real emotion, a need for personal attention, a guilt ridden psyche, and just plain old masochistic sexual desire.

The human labour added is that of the spanker or disciplinarian. While the disciplinarian certainly needs the physical ability to deliver a meaningful spanking, they also needs more. She must be able to read her charge’s personality so that she can determine what type of spanking treatment will be most effective. Just as important she must also be a good actress due to the great demands of the psychodrama that is adult spanking. She must be able to play a spanker’s role in disciplining convincingly. Spankees will want to obey her and want to feel that they are really being punished for their own good, to use a common real-life spanking phrase.

The disciplinarian needs certain tools and equipment to carry out their share of the processing. At the physical level these tools include spanking implements, furniture and clothing and perhaps other things like massage oil and pain enhancers. At a more important abstract level the tools used by the disciplinarian are the spankee’s own sense of submission, anticipation, exhibitionism, and of course their pain tolerance. These three factors are skilfully combined by an expert disciplinarian to put the spankee into such an emotional state that the spanking will be felt as a successful and very satisfying experience by the spankee.

We will deal with pain first. We are definitely not about inflicting as much pain as possible short of devastation. It is true that a spanking must hurt to get a message across to be fully effective, but it is not the only thing needed to get a satisfied spankee. A spanking that doesn’t hurt much will be ineffective but a painful one is still only part of the story.

More intense action with paddles, straps, birches, whips and canes are not as personal as classical OTK hand spankings but they still fall into the realm of desired corporal punishment to spankos since they still up the pain and anxiety factors. These implements are used when a firmer lesson needs to be imparted but an OTK hand or hairbrush spanking just isn’t enough. When we think of a traditional spanking, some of us think of these implements and some of us don’t. While more painful and less personal these implements can certainly be used within the context of a nurturing, positive portrayal of discipline.

That said, the amount of pain desired by the spankee is very personal. Some want only a small amount while others think that anything less than a full-on whipping is just not enough. Spankos do tend to start light and over time want to try experiencing more and more pain as new thrill levels are contemplated. Many enjoy being pushed to their limits. Implement usage is sometimes what it takes us to get to the deeper emotions we want to feel. We want to see how much we can take and pride ourselves in the ability to accept a very painful caning or a long strapping. As long as the interactions are consensual, there is nothing wrong with such desires.

Leaving pain for the moment, the submission of the spankee to the spanker is another big and necessary part of the spanking drama. It adds to the civilized atmosphere of the act and shows that the spanking is carried out in an atmosphere of love and caring. If one doesn’t believe that try to imagine if corporal punishments were all carried out by an overpowering of a fiercely resisting spankee, forcing them into position, ripping down their pants, etc. That may happen with judicial and similar punishments where the punisher-punished relationship is not one of loving concern like that of a parent or similar person. It just would not fit into the typical spanking fantasy very well. There is something exciting and emotionally intense about a quiet submission to the inevitable spanking that will ultimately be satisfying to the spankee. The spankee has both a trusting relationship with the spanker and is expecting to receive some real pain from them. This produces some cognitive dissonance that will be processed by the spankee’s mind in unpredictable ways. This all adds up to an emotionally draining but satisfying spanking experience.

The situation is similar with the anticipation of the coming spanking. If a bit of spanking pain could be administered to the spankee by some sort of remote control device, immediately after an offence, well, a lot would be lost even if it was just as painful as a conventional spanking. It just would not be the same without a lot of the ritual drawing out the drama. Time is needed by the disciplinarian to work on the spankee’s mind. Those difficult mental after-effects are the real punishment, after all.

As for restraints, these are not usually used in spanking. But that doesn't mean that the spankee does not have to worry about being restrained. I'm talking about self discipline, like when the spanker orders the spankee not to move, wiggle or clench their bottom. There is the comforting restraint that holds the spankee in a big hug and allows them to relax and enjoy. Another type of restraint keeps the spankee from making any defensive moves. That can include moves such as holding the hips in place so that the spankee sort of hugs the spankee even as they get spanked. Restraint can be as simple as the spanker simply tell the spankee to look straight ahead and not to move.

Also important is the ordeal aspect of a good spanking. A spanking must be sustained over a certain number of strokes. It may be possible to punish someone with a single stroke that is so painful that it would not be desired again by the spankee. But such a punishment would not have the same psychological effect as one where a succession of strokes must be endured. The spankee is made to wonder how long they will be spanked for and when they will eventually break, and then how much longer after that she will still be spanked some more. The spankee knows that her will to resist the effects will decrease as the spanking ordeal progresses, that despite her best hopes she will break eventually. After all, the spanker can last longer than the spankee.

A further component of spanking that is important is that of the spankee losing control of both their external situation and their own emotional reaction to it. This can be very scary. When one is being spanked they have no control over their fate. The spanker will decide how much force and how many strokes and also how much anticipation and submissive embarrassment the spankee will be made to suffer. The spankee has no control over this at all in a real life spanking. They will just have to endure it as best as they can. It is no better with the emotional aspect. The spankee will lose composure at some point. She has no control here since the spanking will probably continue until she does lose control of herself.

That crying signals that the spankee has lost the fight. In consensual spankings losing control and breaking out in tears will be resisted by many but also desired just the same. It is like a roller coaster ride. The riders feel like they are not in control, and they aren’t as far as they are concerned. Yet when the ride is over it is finally experienced as being very exhilarating as they come down from the thrill. But in actual fact the ride operators did have control and made sure that no one was hurt even though many feared they could get hurt. A good spanker will be able to do the same. The spankees will lose control of themselves but will be carefully guided through the spanking by someone who cares. They will have a physically taxing experience but not an unbearable one. They spankee will get a controlled amount of pain but will survive the spanking. Spankos will find this ultimately enjoyable.

Another big part of spankings are that they are up close and personal. Someone has to actually take their hand to your butt to give you that spanking and intimately feel your reactions to each stroke. People can spank themselves but it just doesn’t do it for most. Someone’s got to give it to you, and you want that someone to be significant in your life. Going back to the remote control device, that could administer some pain but as a punishment it would be missing something. That something would be the personal contact and correction factor.

Another human being is telling you that what you did was wrong and that same human being is going to bring home that lesson personally. And that human being is not some impersonal prison guard or head of a lynch mob, it is someone you love and respect and do not want to displease. This is what makes a spanking so ambivalent an experience. You do not want to be spanked and you do not want to have any negative experiences with the ones you love. But that is indeed what will be necessary if you are to be lovingly corrected and reconciled to the spanker. Again, that is why spanking is such a fearful and controversial subject to many. Whipping someone you hate is easy. Caning someone you are indifferent to is possible. But spanking someone you love is difficult. The same goes for the person at the other end. No other punishment has these mental difficulties. No other ordinary childhood experience is as dramatic or traumatic as a real-life spanking. But fortunately for us spankos few adult experiences are as fulfilling as a well delivered adult spanking.

Coming back to the pain we can now see that the elements of submission, ordeal, anticipation, loss of control and personal connection to the spanker will greatly enhance the pain and pleasure of the spanking, making the act a complex mental and emotional one and not just a physical one. The greatly desired end results of crying, catharsis or orgasm are far more likely if the spankee has to deal with all of the emotional baggage instead of just a sore butt.

The final result should be a spankee that knows they have been spanked but by someone who cares for them greatly. Their final emotional state will be much different from what they started with a few paragraphs ago. In particular they will experience one or both of two great “highs” that can be achieved by way of adult spanking. These highs are the EROTIC and the EMOTIONAL. Spankings do stimulate people sexually. There is no point in pretending that they do not as some do. A good spanking is one that gets the recipient (and maybe the giver as well) very excited sexually, perhaps to the point of orgasm. That is why most spankos want to go over the knee in the first place.

The other high comes from the opening up of emotions that had previously been closed down. Many spankees like to be regressed to a child-like state so that they have a better chance of losing control and crying forcefully. This is what is meant by the spanking catharsis. For many they can only be brought to such a desired state by a spanking. A spanking is all about FEELING. There are simply few other accessible activities in this world can be as erotic and emotional than getting a damned good spanking from an expert disciplinarian - or any as satisfying. Most spankos are attracted to both highs. Some may start with just one factor but usually they will learn to appreciate the other as well.

Strong feelings or memories are packaged and experienced differently as adults. Not so much about the physical act of the spanking as the strong emotional feelings attached to spanking and the accompanying buzz words and scenarios. Spanking recaptures certain feelings from our youth but for most people it is not helpful to spank for real reasons. We can do re-enactments or role-plays that may remind of us of things from our past. We can capture the feelings that we crave in an adult way with a clear understanding of the fact that we are playing with fantasy. In the moment of the spanking we can still get the feeling of being loved and cared about.

Edited by MichHeadmaster, 03 September 2010 - 08:01 AM.
Paragraph breaks

Yours truly

ButtPain

#2 too cheeky

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 01:40 PM

WOW, what a post. Well written ButtPain. :) :)

#3 jackiegirl

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Posted 02 September 2010 - 08:31 PM

Wow! Very informative post!

#4 Guest_Pa1ge_*

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 05:32 AM

Mr. ButtPain,

Thank you for pointing out the emotional release that a person gets from spanking.
OMG, I feel free when I get "there", like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

I found that I get pretty excited during a session. Although I am a little embarrassed by "it",
I am learning to accept "it" as part of getting the release that I want and feel I need.

Now, if I could just put a bag over his head, because he is so freakin' good lookin'.

#5 Kyros

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 07:40 AM

Hi There. What an excellent overview of the often neglected aspects of spanking. I feel that it is a situation where the chemistry between the two parties plays a critical part. It is of course possible to go to a dominant professional and experience pain but, for most of us, that would be an incomplete experience. Only when there is some sense of emotional harmony, can the true depth of a spanking be experienced.
Thank you for such a thoughtful essay.
As a tree is trained, so will it grow

#6 MichiganHeadmaster

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 08:02 AM

Very thoughtful post. I hope you don't mind that I added paragraph breaks, to make for easier reading.
Come visit us at the all-new Spanking Therapy Discussion Board

The new site supports blogs and images!

We will attempt to migrate most or all of the prior discussions to the new site.

#7 ButtPain

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Posted 03 September 2010 - 09:52 AM

Very thoughtful post. I hope you don't mind that I added paragraph breaks, to make for easier reading.


Thanks for the editing Mich. I tried it myself but something went wrong. It now looks a lot better. Also thanks to all of you for your comments.
Yours truly

ButtPain

#8 Guest_purplebottom_*

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Posted 05 September 2010 - 10:12 PM

Hello ButtPain, Wonderful post!

Thank you for the friend add.
We can all enjoy more insightful and intelligent friends.
Can't wait to hear more...PB

#9 Guest_Aspenleafquaking_*

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Posted 07 September 2010 - 07:54 AM

Butt Pain, I always love your posts they explain everything so well. Thank you for the time you take to provide such detailed and information.

Aspen

#10 BigGirlSpanker

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Posted 14 September 2010 - 11:48 AM

Thank you for the thesis! Very well written! You deserve an A!
"What's Important is Finding Out What Works for You" - Henry Moore

#11 flamingcheeks

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Posted 15 September 2010 - 12:33 PM

Interesting post.

#12 PonyGirl

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Posted 16 September 2010 - 07:42 AM

Very insightful and well thought out.




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