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Crying During a Spanking -- An Observation


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#1 calspankee

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Posted 14 October 2009 - 06:29 AM

Many of us people who like or need to be spanked have a desire to break down during the spanking and have a good, genuine cry with tears running down our face. I know I am in that category and, like many others, discovered that even really, really hard and painful spanking often does not create tears.

Several days ago I had a spanking by my wife that had me at least part way into genuine crying (more on the part way stuff later). The spanking was not exceptionally severe (it was category four rather than category five in the Perceptions of Pain post), but it was long and sustained. It was longer than usual. What I found was that, toward the end, I felt totally overwhelmed by it all, and it was that feeling of being overwhelmed that brought on involuntary sobbing. Tears were in my eyes but were not flowing down my face, and it definitely wasn't what I would call full blown, let it all out crying, but if it had gone on longer I am sure it would have been.

In all the years of doing this (spanking), I only cried one other time, and it was the same feeling of being overwhelmed.

For me, at least, I think this is the key to getting to crying -- a spanking that is pretty hard and goes on and on until the feeling of being overwhelmed becomes so strong that crying and tears ensue.

As for time, I can't give an exact figure. Maybe between 10 and 15 minutes in total.

I was tied naked to the bed and was spanked with a paddle, rubber straps and a synthetic (not rattan) cane.

Was it satisfying? Yes, I would say so. It also stayed with me. The next day there were a few times I felt on the verge of tears from the emotion of it, but the tears didn't actually come. I never felt that way a day after a spanking before.

How to get to crying during a spanking has long been a mystery to me, so I wanted to share what I learned with others who may be interested in this.

#2 Guest_lilac_*

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Posted 19 October 2009 - 08:54 AM

For me, at least, I think this is the key to getting to crying -- a spanking that is pretty hard and goes on and on until the feeling of being overwhelmed becomes so strong that crying and tears ensue.

How to get to crying during a spanking has long been a mystery to me, so I wanted to share what I learned with others who may be interested in this.


I enjoyed reading your experience. I too had a hard time getting to the point of actually sobbing which is how I refer to the tears running down my face and my nose running uncontrolably.

I've been spanked so often I can't even count or even wager a guess as to how many but the first time I broke down like that I remember that vividly.

My past disciplinarian Mike which most of you know was a gifted spanker and could reach into your heart and make you feel things that you might never have felt before. Even though his spankings were long and hard and always much deserved they rarely brought me to tears. Not the sobbing type tears that a person sometimes needs to have.

One day I was under an enormous amount of stress and he felt maybe a spanking would help and came over to my home as soon as he could. The spanking that followed was not a normal spanking but rather a short and to the point spanking. It was I think the shortest spanking he ever gave me. Between his words and the way he conducted that spanking I just broke down and sobbed and I mean his shoulder was probably drenced from me crying into it.

So I'm not sure length is the key I for everyone. I think the emotion has to be there for a person to finally have this break down. I had one with Larry as well many many months later. With the hundreds of spankings that I've received I think I've only really broken down twice. Can't explain it. They were all long hard spankings I guess the emotion was not there.

I'm glad you've reached that point and hope you continue to have that kind of experience. I no longer am spanked and miss it terribly and could use to have a breakdown but I don't think that will ever come again. But I wish that for everyone out there in the spanking community.
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#3 Falstaff

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Posted 19 October 2009 - 05:12 PM

I think that breaking down during a spanking is something that most people desire, because of the catharsis that crying gives you. if I ever get into a spanking relationship or mentorship, I think that crying would be an important aspect of the spanking relationship. I do not know how realistic or easy it would be to get the aspect of that relationship; however that is what I would desire.

#4 calspankee

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 07:00 AM

Lilac,

You are right in saying that it is the emotion that brings on crying. In the past, I naively assumed that high pain levels would bring the emotion that would bring the crying. But that didn't happen, even at pain levels that for me were off the charts. What I discovered, and what prompted my post, is that long, sustained spanking creates the emotion -- in my case, the feeling of being overwhelmed -- that precipitates tears. I am delighted with my discovery because I have been trying for years to figure out what would do the trick and give me the crying release I desire.

It's also true in my case that length or duration alone is not sufficient. On occasion I have had a spanking that lasted on and off nearly an hour and did not come close to inducing tears. It was a fairly light spanking with only a moderate pain level. So I guess it is a combination of a high pain level plus duration that makes me feel overwhelmed that in turn is the emotion that makes me cry.

I don't enjoy the pain. I hate it, as a matter of fact, and the more it hurts the more I hate it. But it leaves me feeling satisfied, fulfilled and calm. Breaking down and crying real tears at the end of the spanking (for me) is the perfect way to finish things up and to make them complete.

Calspankee

#5 Isis

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 09:41 AM

"So I guess it is a combination of a high pain level plus duration that makes me feel overwhelmed that in turn is the emotion that makes me cry."


I am starting to think this is what my case is too. I have cried a couple times with not that much pain causing it, it was more emotional than anything. To be honest tho, even the crying in those cases still did not deter the behavior for too long. It released the guilt but not the major "think twice before doing" effect.
Rule 1 Don't sweat the small stuff
Rule 2 Everything is small stuff

#6 OTK Spanker

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Posted 27 October 2009 - 11:41 AM

I know a few spankees, who so far, have been unable to cry and want to be brought to that point. Others only cry from a discipline spanking combined with a very harsh lecture. I want to share the experience of a particular spankee, without giving out her screen name. I first met her 16 months ago, after she contacted me for discipline. I gave her 2 very sound discipline spankings with hand and cracker barrel paddle. There were no tears, no struggling to get away and no sincere promises to be good during either spanking. We talked afterwards. She ensured me the spankings hurt and what she was looking for.

The second meeting went about the same. I believe I gave her one discipline spanking and one or two more just because she wanted the others. She had never used her safeword, and told me she did not want one wither. She cried during a discipline spanking, either the 3rd or 4th time we met. It surprised me because she began crying a little during the hand spanking. I knew she had taken a lot more in the past and I did not let up, finishing with the cracker barrel or hairbush. I do not remember which. She could not keep still, but did not try to escape either. She did put her hand back to cover up, and I held it out of the way. When we talked afterwards, she told me she felt like she was turning into a wuss. She normally cried during discipline spankings from that point on, but not when getting the fun spankings. Even though I gave her some very sound hairbrush spankings and paddlings for fun or stress relief, she never cried, complained or even squirmed that much. Her hand usually came back before I finished, and I would hold it out of the way.

We spent a weekend together this past March. Until that time, we had only spent a few hours at a time together. Most of that time consisted of a lot of spanking, without that much talking. During one of her talks, she let out a secret. According to her, she can block physical pain from her mind. Usually! But when I lectured her before hand, she could not block the pain. I am very capable of giving very stern lectures, without raising my voice or using abusive language. Apparrently, when I gave her discipling spankings the first few times, the lectures did not have that much of an effect. I believe the trust had not been established yet. We met last week and I gave her a discipline spanking. This time she could not help from struggling, and I had to hold her down to spank her.

I have spanked a few girls to tears for nondisciplinary reasons, but that is rare. Even though I know some girls, who have a very high tollerence and like being spanked long and hard, just for fun or a stress relief. But only a few of them want to be spanked to that point of tears if they are not seeking discipline.

Cliff

#7 RDDA

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Posted 27 September 2010 - 11:30 AM

Well, I don't have the pleasure of someone spanking me. So late at night I usually spank myself with very quiet implements. The most effective implement that I use is a small fish aquarium net. I use the handle portion of it which is wrapped in clear tubing. It makes a very good sting but it's not unbearable for me. I found that fast spanking does not get the job done even though it hurts way too much. First I lie down on my stomach and then to get a good swing I have to move slightly sideways. Then very slowly I proceed with the spanking.

I do one spank and then what I do is concentrate on the pain and wait for it to almost end and then I do several others like that. By about the 25th spank tears are starting to form and when they do I actually time my spanks for every time my eyes start to burn and water up. Keep in mind that I am still going at the same speed and it's not unbearable. Then I just keep up that same method and the tears actually start flowing.

By the way, all of this is happening while I just spank the left cheek. When the tears finally do stop, that is when I switch to my right and the tears start all over again. Then after that I just go back to the left cheek but this time, with every spank I take long deep breaths through my nose and eventually my whole body starts convulsing which leads to lots of heart felt sobbing. I keep it up until I fully stop sobbing and then the spanking is over.

I feel very calm at this point even though my body is still shaking uncontrollably. Now I am at the point where I can actually just think about the spanking that I am going to give myself and the tears just start flowing. There is nothing like the endorphin high that I get from that. After a couple days have passed there is an usual energy burst that happens to me. Just last night I went for a run and I never run unless I have to.

But this time when I ran, I did not get out of breath and felt like I was a kid again. There was not a lazy bone in my body last night. i think to keep it effective though, I will have to wait at least a week or two between spankings. Plus, I don't want to start crying in public while I'm in line at the grocery store or when I'm talking to friends. It's like, all I have to do is think about the sting of that fish net handle and the tears just start forming. Well that's my story. I hope that it helps someone.

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Posted 27 September 2010 - 12:16 PM

We spent a weekend together this past March. Until that time, we had only spent a few hours at a time together. Most of that time consisted of a lot of spanking, without that much talking. During one of her talks, she let out a secret. According to her, she can block physical pain from her mind. Usually! But when I lectured her before hand, she could not block the pain. I am very capable of giving very stern lectures, without raising my voice or using abusive language. Apparrently, when I gave her discipling spankings the first few times, the lectures did not have that much of an effect. I believe the trust had not been established yet. We met last week and I gave her a discipline spanking. This time she could not help from struggling, and I had to hold her down to spank her.

This is so important & thanks for sharing that story. Despite what the general consensus of "bottom beaters" out there spout, a spanking need not leave one's backside looking like Swiss cheese in order to be effective.

At the core, a spanking is a highly intimate emotional experience between the participants. I have many spankees, before we meet, ask if I can bring them to tears. The answer is simple...perhaps! It is contingent on the level of comfort & security they feel with me. Like with anything in life there must be balance....sugar is great but put too much in your cookie batter & you won't get cookies, just crumbled up chunks of dough that are too sweet, if they have form at all. A little vinegar added to my deviled eggs provides a kick everyone enjoys but too much and people will be spitting them out politley into their napkins at my next get together.

It takes a special recipe between two people to formulate the best spanking experience. What amount of each ingredient is conditional based on personality & chemistry. The way MaMa sees it the basics are: actual varied degrees of the spanking itself, emotional connection between the "ee" and "er", and just the right verbal communications before, during & after a session. Of course I could expound on any one of these...perhaps I'll even start a post :)

Happy Spankings To All,
MaMa Blue

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#9 ReadyOrNot

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Posted 28 September 2010 - 07:44 AM

I believe that each spankee is different in what they want to get out of a spanking relationship.

That being said, for me, being able to cry means that I have formed a bond of trust with the spanker to the point where I feel completely and utterly safe in letting go
of all my emotions, laying my soul bare so to speak. That kind of trust is not given lightly and takes time to form. One day, I hope to find that kind of trust and be able
to let the demons out and give myself over completely - to cry unashamedly - and feel okay about doing it. Only then can I begin to heal and make progress towards
achieving the goals I have set for myself.

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Posted 28 September 2010 - 09:33 AM

I have no wisdom from experience to bring to this thread, but I can offer my perspective as someone who is yet to be spanked as an adult, and whose feelings have been capped off for a very long, long time.

I crave a release of those feelings desperately, and originally thought that getting my bottom blistered might provide the catalyst that would "make" me release them. Might be true for some, but what I've learned about myself from exposure to this forum, and through Mama B's very loving and insightful guidance, is that had the wrong spanker gotten a hold of me too soon, with that directive (to make me cry) - chances are it would have ended badly.

You have to have feelings before you can release them, mine were/are buried too deep.

I made a conscious decision to let Mama B get in my head. Once there, she earned my trust and respect, so I took a chance and opened the path to my heart. Once there, she has carefully, gently yet firmly started helping me pull those feelings forward..

If what I'm doing as I type this is any indication, I'll sob at the first soft hug in her arms, long before the first loving hard smack across her lap....

For some of us, connection =caring and it's everything
2b

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Posted 28 September 2010 - 09:35 AM

ps: if that doesn't work, all those needing a release are invited to my house to watch Old Yeller and The Yearling :)

#12 Guest_Aspenleafquaking_*

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Posted 28 September 2010 - 10:27 AM

ps: if that doesn't work, all those needing a release are invited to my house to watch Old Yeller and The Yearling :)


Awww 2B your are genuinley a sweetheart and have the sweetest and kindest things to say. Oh bye the way what is that adorable creature in your avattar?

Aspen

#13 Guest_tatt2blue_*

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Posted 29 September 2010 - 03:05 PM

I have no wisdom from experience to bring to this thread, but I can offer my perspective as someone who is yet to be spanked as an adult, and whose feelings have been capped off for a very long, long time.

I crave a release of those feelings desperately, and originally thought that getting my bottom blistered might provide the catalyst that would "make" me release them. Might be true for some, but what I've learned about myself from exposure to this forum, and through Mama B's very loving and insightful guidance, is that had the wrong spanker gotten a hold of me too soon, with that directive (to make me cry) - chances are it would have ended badly.

You have to have feelings before you can release them, mine were/are buried too deep.

I made a conscious decision to let Mama B get in my head. Once there, she earned my trust and respect, so I took a chance and opened the path to my heart. Once there, she has carefully, gently yet firmly started helping me pull those feelings forward..

If what I'm doing as I type this is any indication, I'll sob at the first soft hug in her arms, long before the first loving hard smack across her lap....

For some of us, connection =caring and it's everything
2b

That seemed to demonstrate a lot of wisdom & experience. Don't sell yourself short because you have not actually been spanked 2b.

Connection & caring is key to every relationship...you're in my head too :)

Love,
MaMa Blue


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Posted 29 September 2010 - 03:40 PM

I've been spanked as an adult to the point where I was sobbing my heart out and my bottom was purple. It was cathartic but it's not something that I'd want to have done to me on a regular basis. It took me to a very raw emotional place from my childhood. It helped me to deal with something quite painful deep inside me but it certainly wasn't spanking for fun.

On another occasion the spanking I recieved left me with a stinging slightly red bottom and my eyes watering. It was the right result for me that time round and much closer to what I'd like to happen to me on a more regular basis.

#15 toocheekysgirl

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Posted 29 September 2010 - 04:48 PM

I don't cry much when toocheeky spanks me, but today it really came out. He told me not to stick my tongue out at him, and I did anyway. He spanked me with the cane a few more strokes than normal, and by then the tears were really coming. For some reason I felt a need to hide my face and turn away. Not sure what that's about, he's seen me cry many times. Anyone else ever felt this way when they cried after a spanking?

#16 Disciplineneeded

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Posted 29 September 2010 - 08:13 PM

I too want to cry when getting a spanking. I hope to find a male mentor whom I am comfortable with and who can help me break and cry for him during the spanking. Any males in Fort Worth area want to help me work on it?




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