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An erotic spanking forum?


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#1 DarkSteven

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Posted 28 May 2008 - 07:34 AM

The main gist of this board is disciplinary, nonerotic spankings, and mentoring.

However, I corresponded with one spankee who confessed that she didn''t really want a disciplinary spanking - she wanted spankings because they turned her on sexually.

Would it be worthwhile to add a new forum, Erotic Spanking?
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#2 Guest_lilac_*

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Posted 28 May 2008 - 09:54 AM

QUOTE('DarkSteven @ 'May 28 2008, 01:34 PM)
Would it be worthwhile to add a new forum, Erotic Spanking?



All of us moderators wish to keep this a site for those who need this for discipline and motivation. We do have this anything goes forum for some sexual talk or uncensored issues but we are going to keep it to that room for the time being.

#3 Guest_Coco_*

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Posted 28 May 2008 - 04:33 PM

QUOTE('DarkSteven @ 'May 28 2008, 08:34 AM)
The main gist of this board is disciplinary, nonerotic spankings, and mentoring.

However, I corresponded with one spankee who confessed that she didn''''t really want a disciplinary spanking - she wanted spankings because they turned her on sexually.

Would it be worthwhile to add a new forum, Erotic Spanking?



If your friend wishes to talk about the groovy sexual side of spanking that''s just great. Advise her to google "spanking." Literally hundreds if not thousands of sites where she can go and yap about erotic spanking until her fingers fall off will pop up.

THIS site is the only one I am aware of that exists primarily for people who are interested in spanking for adults as discipline.

I would prefer not to muddy it up with sexual stuff. We start permitting that and soon the place attracts more and more sexual spankers/spankees until there is NO place for those of us who only require the disciplinary side of spankings.

If it were up to me, I would eliminate every post that even remotely refers to the sexual elements of spanking. There are other places to discuss that. I am not saying there is anything wrong with people who find spanking erotic--I''m just saying that there are places for that. THIS place is NOT for that.

Regards,

Coco, moderator



#4 spankmyassred

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Posted 07 August 2008 - 11:14 PM

QUOTE (Coco @ May 28 2008, 06:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If your friend wishes to talk about the groovy sexual side of spanking that''s just great. Advise her to google "spanking." Literally hundreds if not thousands of sites where she can go and yap about erotic spanking until her fingers fall off will pop up.

THIS site is the only one I am aware of that exists primarily for people who are interested in spanking for adults as discipline.

I would prefer not to muddy it up with sexual stuff. We start permitting that and soon the place attracts more and more sexual spankers/spankees until there is NO place for those of us who only require the disciplinary side of spankings.

If it were up to me, I would eliminate every post that even remotely refers to the sexual elements of spanking. There are other places to discuss that. I am not saying there is anything wrong with people who find spanking erotic--I''m just saying that there are places for that. THIS place is NOT for that.

Regards,

Coco, moderator


Wow, harsh. Ya know.. sometimes these things do cross over. I jsut read another thread about that, in fact. Seriously, sometimes it's not so easy to separate the two. I know what I *need*, and I even know all of the reasons why I need it, but ya know.. I also kind of enjoy it sometimes, too. I was under the impression this site would be understanding of that, but now I'm not so sure. This is making it sound like I'm supposed to be able to separate my feelings and know where all of the lines are drawn, and I just don't think it works that way.

sad.gif

#5 wildchild

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 09:24 AM

Feeling the strong need to once again thank the moderators of this site for keeping it how it is. I have never had any trouble finding any number of sites about sexual spankings; they are a dime a dozen. But they don't help at all with the needs of the people on this board.

I don't think I see it as making any sort of judgments about anyone's tastes to say that this forum is about this topic; if your topic is something else, then try a forum dedicated to that issue. And it's always possible to go to as many forums as you need to go to.

But for many of us here, there is a lot of security in knowing that discipline and personal growth and acceptance are the focus, and we need that and treasure it. If we need something else sometimes, then we simply go somewhere else for a while to get it, I'd imagine...but why mess up a safe haven?

So, thank you very much from at least one of us.
wildchild

#6 Louise

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Posted 08 August 2008 - 10:12 AM

QUOTE (spankmyassred @ Aug 8 2008, 06:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, harsh. Ya know.. sometimes these things do cross over. I jsut read another thread about that, in fact. Seriously, sometimes it's not so easy to separate the two. I know what I *need*, and I even know all of the reasons why I need it, but ya know.. I also kind of enjoy it sometimes, too. I was under the impression this site would be understanding of that, but now I'm not so sure. This is making it sound like I'm supposed to be able to separate my feelings and know where all of the lines are drawn, and I just don't think it works that way.

sad.gif



Don't worry, you are not alone. There are many people who cannot seperate the sexual side from the discipline side. For me, for instance, spanking is only erotic if it is for punishment, I don't find 'fun' spankings erotic at all.

However, a lot of people are very uptight about this subject, so don't let them get to you. there's nothing wrong in finding disciplinary spanking erotic.

Louise

#7 Guest_Coco_*

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 09:22 AM

QUOTE (spankmyassred @ Aug 8 2008, 12:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, harsh. Ya know.. sometimes these things do cross over. I jsut read another thread about that, in fact. Seriously, sometimes it's not so easy to separate the two. I know what I *need*, and I even know all of the reasons why I need it, but ya know.. I also kind of enjoy it sometimes, too. I was under the impression this site would be understanding of that, but now I'm not so sure. This is making it sound like I'm supposed to be able to separate my feelings and know where all of the lines are drawn, and I just don't think it works that way.

sad.gif


You may choose to see my words as harsh. I prefer to think that they are merely blunt.

Your feelings are your own; they are neither good nor bad. They just are.

Regarding your comments about the site being understanding--it is. HOWEVER, the focus of this site is disciplinary spankings.

Those looking for a stimulating, sensual, sexual spanking can find THOUSANDS of other sites where this is the primary order of the day. Some of those have the side-topic of discipline associated with them.

This site will be kept as "pure" as possible. Those who do not like that can go elsewhere. It isn't like they have no where else to go.

Those of us whose focus is on discipline only (or at least primarily) have had only this place to go until the Spanking Therapy sister site was created. As I said earlier, if we allow the sexual elements of spanking to become a focus, soon this site will be overrun by sexual posters.

That is not going to happen on my watch.

Cocoa

#8 Guest_Coco_*

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 09:28 AM

QUOTE (Louise @ Aug 8 2008, 11:12 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Don't worry, you are not alone. There are many people who cannot seperate the sexual side from the discipline side. For me, for instance, spanking is only erotic if it is for punishment, I don't find 'fun' spankings erotic at all.

However, a lot of people are very uptight about this subject, so don't let them get to you. there's nothing wrong in finding disciplinary spanking erotic.

Louise



I don't believe anyone ever stated that there was "something wrong with" finding disciplinary spankings erotic.

It has merely been stated that this site exists for those people who seek spanking AS DISCIPLINE. Sexuality is a wonderful gift from God. That doesn't mean that we need to devote space in every every single venue to discuss it.

Personally, I don't understand why people who want to discuss the sexual aspects of their discipline find it so difficult to accept the fact that there are now two places on the whole wide internet whereit isn't the focus. There are sooooo many places available for those who desire the sexual type of disciplinary spankings to go and network with others of their kind.

Why must this rare bastian of non-sexuality be subjected to it as well?




#9 Jersey1327

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 11:23 AM

QUOTE (Coco @ Aug 9 2008, 11:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I don't believe anyone ever stated that there was "something wrong with" finding disciplinary spankings erotic.

It has merely been stated that this site exists for those people who seek spanking AS DISCIPLINE. Sexuality is a wonderful gift from God. That doesn't mean that we need to devote space in every every single venue to discuss it.

Personally, I don't understand why people who want to discuss the sexual aspects of their discipline find it so difficult to accept the fact that there are now two places on the whole wide internet whereit isn't the focus. There are sooooo many places available for those who desire the sexual type of disciplinary spankings to go and network with others of their kind.

Why must this rare bastian of non-sexuality be subjected to it as well?


Thank you, Cocoa.

I would like to see this site stay dedicated to the non-sexual disciplinary spankings as well.

I don't understand why I need to be thought of as "uptight" or "not able to understand" because I do not find spanking for discipline erotic or blasted because I do not practice DD or would never practice DD.

I do not go onto their sites and tell people that find disciplinary spankings erotic that they are uptight or not understanding because I don't. I don't visit their sites because it is not something that interests me.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But this site is dedicated to the non sexual disciplinary spankings and I feel I should be able to express how I feel about that without being made to feel like I am not accepting of those who dont feel the same way.

As wildchild said...this is "our" safe haven for those us who want to have non sexual disciplinary relationships...either on the giving end, receiving end or both.

Please keep it the way it is,

Jersey
Realize you have a mind of your own and eventhough your disciplinarian may be the one in control, they do not OWN you. You have the right to stand up for yourself and not accept anything that violates you as a person.

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 12:01 PM

QUOTE (Jersey1327 @ Aug 9 2008, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thank you, Cocoa.


thank you jersey and cocoa,
what i think is part of the problem is the PC issue that has invaded the world, this is a spanking site so therfore it must except and include all things spanking.... no one is really supposed to have negitive thoughts about anything .. because then you are prejudice...

many of us grew up in an a world that you knew you might not make the team.. your feelings may get hurt..ect. that was the way things were. unfortunatly that is nolonger the case.. you sue for those things now.

people please there are only two sigts for those of us that do not wish to be bombarded with a host of sexual stuff, so let us be!!


Edited to repair broken tag.


#11 steve200508

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 12:35 PM

I am a member here because this is not a smutty site and I hope it stays that way ! Yes, there can be sexual arousal during spanking(nothing wrong with that) and that is what most spanking sites focus on but the focus here is spanking.....let's keep it that way ! smile.gif

#12 spankmyassred

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 02:19 PM

QUOTE (Coco @ Aug 9 2008, 11:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You may choose to see my words as harsh. I prefer to think that they are merely blunt.

Your feelings are your own; they are neither good nor bad. They just are.

Regarding your comments about the site being understanding--it is. HOWEVER, the focus of this site is disciplinary spankings.

Those looking for a stimulating, sensual, sexual spanking can find THOUSANDS of other sites where this is the primary order of the day. Some of those have the side-topic of discipline associated with them.

This site will be kept as "pure" as possible. Those who do not like that can go elsewhere. It isn't like they have no where else to go.

Those of us whose focus is on discipline only (or at least primarily) have had only this place to go until the Spanking Therapy sister site was created. As I said earlier, if we allow the sexual elements of spanking to become a focus, soon this site will be overrun by sexual posters.

That is not going to happen on my watch.

Cocoa


Wow. People around here sure are quick to say "go somewhere else" when you bring up a different viewpoint. I've already explained in several posts I've left(I've been relatively active since joining a couple of days ago) what I need. But, because there is another part to the equation, I'm more or less scolded and told to go somewhere else so as not to muddy the pure waters here. Sorry, but that's how it feels. I've just tried to be honest and upfront about where I'm coming from, but it seems that some people around here aren't as "open" or "welcoming" as they appear to be at first glance. Instead, they are only "welcoming" and "open" when you fit exactly into their mold. Maybe this place isn't really what I'm looking for if that's the reception I'm going to get for being straight with people.

Thanks any Louise for your support. It's nice to see that there is someone around here that understands and isn't judgemental.

sad.gif

ps Incidentally, , i take great offense that because my reactions and my needs from a spanking are different than someone else's, I'm more or less called "smutty" and I'm treated like an interloper. Really "welcoming" there.

#13 Jersey1327

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 02:34 PM

QUOTE (spankmyassred @ Aug 9 2008, 04:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow. People around here sure are quick to say "go somewhere else" when you bring up a different viewpoint. I've already explained in several posts I've left(I've been relatively active since joining a couple of days ago) what I need. But, because there is another part to the equation, I'm more or less scolded and told to go somewhere else so as not to muddy the pure waters here. Sorry, but that's how it feels. I've just tried to be honest and upfront about where I'm coming from, but it seems that some people around here aren't as "open" or "welcoming" as they appear to be at first glance. Instead, they are only "welcoming" and "open" when you fit exactly into their mold. Maybe this place isn't really what I'm looking for if that's the reception I'm going to get for being straight with people.

Thanks any Louise for your support. It's nice to see that there is someone around here that understands and isn't judgemental.

sad.gif

ps Incidentally, , i take great offense that because my reactions and my needs from a spanking are different than someone else's, I'm more or less called "smutty" and I'm treated like an interloper. Really "welcoming" there.



I do believe that the mere fact you said, we are not understanding is being judgmental about who we are before getting to know us and the fact that Louise said people who don't agree with disciplinary spankings as being erotic are uptight...is also a judgmental statement. So, I would think about that as well. I am not uptight or not understanding just because I don't happen to find discipline erotic and I took offense to both of those statements.

If you read my long post to you in another topic you wrote...I specifically said I didn't think you were strange because you liked to be spanked and was trying to be nice to you and make you feel welcomed. So, not all of us are unwelcoming.

We have this site for a reason and my point is that I wish to keep it that way.

Jersey
Realize you have a mind of your own and eventhough your disciplinarian may be the one in control, they do not OWN you. You have the right to stand up for yourself and not accept anything that violates you as a person.

#14 Guest_Coco_*

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Posted 09 August 2008 - 04:51 PM

QUOTE (spankmyassred @ Aug 9 2008, 03:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow. People around here sure are quick to say "go somewhere else" when you bring up a different viewpoint.


I think if you read more of the content of the board, you would see a plethora of viewpoints represented here. What troubles you is that your "viewpoint" has been deemed inappropriate for this forum. Your sexual feelings regarding spankings are not being disrespected. Everyone understands that some people are aroused by spankings and no one judges them "bad" for having these feelings.

The point is that THIS SITE is not for discussing that particular element of spanking.

Imagine going to your dentist and scolding him for asking you not to go on and on about your issues with your vagina. You go to a gynocologist for your vagina issues, not your dentist. He wants to know about your TEETH.

This discussion board is for people who use corporal discipline to improve their lives. We come here for that purpose. There is only one other board that I am aware of that offers us this venue.

There are literally thousands of boards who WELCOME the venue you seem determined to force upon us.


QUOTE
I've already explained in several posts I've left(I've been relatively active since joining a couple of days ago) what I need. But, because there is another part to the equation, I'm more or less scolded and told to go somewhere else so as not to muddy the pure waters here.


I think it is terribly presumptuous and rude of you to insist on us changing our entire way of operating OUR board to accomodate YOU. That is pretty presumptuous in itself--and is especially presumptuous in regard to the fact that, as you said, you joined ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO.

Usually when someone enters a new community, especially a well established one, they look and listen, and then they decide whether or not they have found their "niche" and whether or not the community can meet their needs. You have come on the scene and ignored all attempts at showing you the "climate" of this board. Perhaps you should have looked and listened a little longer before attempting to bring in the bulldozers and wrecking balls and remodel this place to YOUR liking.



QUOTE
I've just tried to be honest and upfront about where I'm coming from, but it seems that some people around here aren't as "open" or "welcoming" as they appear to be at first glance. Instead, they are only "welcoming" and "open" when you fit exactly into their mold. Maybe this place isn't really what I'm looking for if that's the reception I'm going to get for being straight with people.


No one has attacked you for your feelings or beliefs. You have been advised of the purpose of this board. If you cannot respect the boundaries and common purpose of the people of this board, this probably ISN'T the place for you. Your reception is exactly the reception you have brought upon yourself. It seems to me that you feel you have the right to be "straight with" people, but you get upset when people are straight with you. We have been straight with you about the purpose of this board. Accept it and stay, or reject it and go. It truly is up to you.


QUOTE
ps Incidentally, , i take great offense that because my reactions and my needs from a spanking are different than someone else's, I'm more or less called "smutty" and I'm treated like an interloper. Really "welcoming" there.


Well, young lady, if we are going to talk about taking offense, I question why you would come on to an adult board with truly adult content, not "adult" content, with a user name of "Spank my ass red." That alone sends red flags up for me as it is very immature--much more suitable to a BDSM type of community. So you are offended by people saying that they don't want this board to become "smutty" (meaning only that they do not want it muddied up with sexual posts). No one called YOU yourself "smutty." If you choose to take it personally, so be it.

It's time for you to stop pouting and whining and either MOVE ON, or stay and play by the rules. You are behaving like someone who has come to the playground where people are playing baseball and demanding that everyone use hockey sticks and basketballs instead of a baseball and bats.

I'm not tolerating much more of your nonsense. Post responses if you like, but make sure you are not crossing the line or they will be deleted. AFter "ten years of experience working" on boards like this, you should know where the line is.


Cocoa, moderator (whether you like it or not)






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