Jump to content

 


Photo

Does the HOH need discipline?

spanking HOH

  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 molly farinholt

molly farinholt

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 34 posts
  • Age:34
  • Location:New York
  • Gender:Female

Posted 25 September 2012 - 06:42 AM

I was just wondering. Both me and my husband are children of conservative parents who lovingly administered corporal discipline to us. As we were growing up as teens, we both knew that each other's homes included spanking as part of what was normal in our lives. While my parents practiced DD as a couple as well, Wes' didn't. It took a little while for him to completely get into doing what he needed to do, but I suppose that is the way of all young Christian marriages.

I can't imagine what my life would be like without the assurance that Wes is standing watch over me to keep me safe and keep me in line with his strong hand, paddle and switch. I often wonder though. Does Wes need spanking. I didn't stop needing it when I became an adult. We talked about it and he was uncertain as well. He is a strong and masculine person but he also doesn't make it a gender role issue, especially since we have children of both genders. Is there anyone who has imput to share? The only thing we were absolutely sure of was that if he did need it, I wasn't going to be able to do it. It would just be too conflicting for me and would change his role as HOH for me and the kids.

#2 Poison

Poison

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 572 posts
  • Age:34
  • Gender:Female

Posted 25 September 2012 - 07:00 AM

**shivers at the switch**

It'll be interesting to see the replies to this Molly. I am not in a HOH relationship anymore but when I was I sure thought my fiance could use a good paddling from time to time. NEVER did bring it up though. Thought that would be me challenging his role and his control so so speak over me.
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you. (Brian Tracy)

#3 OICUspank2

OICUspank2

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 100 posts
  • Age:60
  • Location:NE Ohio
  • Gender:Male

Posted 25 September 2012 - 07:20 AM

I have been in an evolving D/s relationship for years with my wife as H of H. While it may be different for others I could never imagine my wife being discplined or spanked. I have always loved her figure of authority and wouldn't want anything to change that.

She has told me she would never allow herslf to be treated as she treats me and I'm sure she doesn't have the same respect for me as I do for her but that is just part of our relationship and we both enjoy it.

#4 Guest_Li'lMinx_*

Guest_Li'lMinx_*
  • Guests

Posted 25 September 2012 - 08:31 AM

Hello Molly,

Nice to meet you, welcome to SN.

Hmmmmm, your posts are giving me much food for thought!

I was in a DD relationship and had a HOH. I can't imagine changing positions, as it (like you said) would alter my perception of him as my dominant, having said that there are several couples I know that do switch roles for one another, successfully, for them. As the saying goes, whatever floats your boat ;)

On the other point: I know of several 'alpha' males who get spanked - and several more who would benefit from a good spanking ;) Masculinity (or rather the accepted appearance of masculinity) has nothing to do with it. If he needs, he needs. Or, at least if he thinks he does, let him give it a go, see if he really does - that's the only sure-fire way of knowing!

Best of luck!

#5 molly farinholt

molly farinholt

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 34 posts
  • Age:34
  • Location:New York
  • Gender:Female

Posted 25 September 2012 - 09:08 AM

Thanks Minnie....I don't know where this will go but....

#6 Guest_Li'lMinx_*

Guest_Li'lMinx_*
  • Guests

Posted 25 September 2012 - 10:24 AM

You're totally welcome, Molly.

Keep us posted!

My PM inbox always has room for one more message if you want to chat in private!!!!!

#7 Guest_Californiadreamer_*

Guest_Californiadreamer_*
  • Guests

Posted 25 September 2012 - 03:08 PM

Hi Molly, welcome to the site. As far as your question is concerned, how does your husband feel about it?, being disciplined I mean.. Gender has no real bearing on it but rather his need is what truly matters. If he feels that he needs to be spanked in order to maintain certain behaviors, then this should be practiced.. I do agree that you should not be the one to administer the punishment if in fact he does feel that it is needed. It would be very conflicting to your roles in the marriage. There are female spankers on this site who do share your religious views and I'm certain that they would be willing to help in that way. In any event, hope you enjoy your time here on the site.

#8 Louise

Louise

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 686 posts
  • Location:England
  • Gender:Female

Posted 30 September 2012 - 07:18 AM

I personally very much dislike the idea of my husband being spanked, and I would not be at all happy if he wanted this. i like the status quo to be maintained.

However, as far as I know he has absolutely no interest in being spanked. It is something he quite enjoys doing to me, but he has no deairw to be on the receiving end that i know of. I am afraid I would not be able to take him seriously as an authority figure if he was getting spanked as well, it would alter my perception of him too much.

There was no corporal punishment in my own childhood, and I don't really associate what we do now as having any link with childhood experiences. to me, it is a very personal adult thing.

#9 jim570

jim570

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 36 posts
  • Location:Eastern Pennsylvania
  • Gender:Male

Posted 07 January 2013 - 10:36 PM

Google "Spencer spanking plan" Briefly, it is DD without HOH.  Both have rules to follow and punishments if they break them.  I understand in a HOH relationship, the non HOH would not want to be the spanker.



#10 johnpaul

johnpaul

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 283 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 January 2013 - 05:54 PM

As for the husband....They should get it by their wife......if they do not do right..... not another person.... in most cases...

JP



#11 Mr Completely Invisible

Mr Completely Invisible

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Age:29
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 May 2013 - 01:52 PM

Hello Molly,

Nice to meet you, welcome to SN.

Hmmmmm, your posts are giving me much food for thought!

I was in a DD relationship and had a HOH. I can't imagine changing positions, as it (like you said) would alter my perception of him as my dominant, having said that there are several couples I know that do switch roles for one another, successfully, for them. As the saying goes, whatever floats your boat ;)

On the other point: I know of several 'alpha' males who get spanked - and several more who would benefit from a good spanking ;) Masculinity (or rather the accepted appearance of masculinity) has nothing to do with it. If he needs, he needs. Or, at least if he thinks he does, let him give it a go, see if he really does - that's the only sure-fire way of knowing!

Best of luck!

Hi, I was wondering how the spanking arrangements work with the alpha males mentioned in your post.  Are they disciplinary?  Are they for release?



#12 Mr Completely Invisible

Mr Completely Invisible

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Age:29
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 May 2013 - 01:52 PM

Hi, apologies everyone for the multiple replies: - the system made me think the post hadn't been displayed and now I can't seem to delete the surplus ones.

 

Is anyone here familiar with marriages where the husband is definitely the HOH, but it is him who is spanked, not the wife?  If so, how do the spanking arrangements work?



#13 Mr Completely Invisible

Mr Completely Invisible

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Age:29
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 May 2013 - 01:53 PM

.



#14 Mr Completely Invisible

Mr Completely Invisible

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Age:29
  • Gender:Male

Posted 22 May 2013 - 01:53 PM

.



#15 jamiew

jamiew

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 107 posts
  • Age:51
  • Location:Nashville Tennessee
  • Gender:Male

Posted 23 May 2013 - 05:23 PM

Hi Molly,

 

Here is how things go in our household... copied from another forum...

 

We have a pretty traditional family, and I'm the family leader and have been the primary disciplinarian for our children.  As the leader I'm expected to lead by example and I've always been held to a higher standard.  When I mess up the first step is that I have to admit it to the entire family, and the second is that I have to sincerely apologize to them as well.  Once that is done I am subject to harsh punishment from my wife, and the longer it takes me to admit that I've done wrong and apologize for it, the worse the spanking is going to be.  I usually don't get my spankings in front of the family (I'm usually sent to the basement or garage), but I almost always have to do bare-bottom cornertime afterwards in the kitchen where all can see.  We're over 27 years into our marriage and well over 20 years into this plan, with our children now grown but still at home.  So far so good.



#16 geo2

geo2

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 63 posts
  • Age:60
  • Location:Maryland
  • Gender:Male

Posted 25 May 2013 - 04:22 AM

I'm not an HOH but do work and care for my wife while she takes care of the house. I make many of the decisions as she wants me too. I get spanked regularly since I need it.



#17 Mr Completely Invisible

Mr Completely Invisible

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 66 posts
  • Age:29
  • Gender:Male

Posted 01 July 2013 - 04:36 PM

I was just wondering. Both me and my husband are children of conservative parents who lovingly administered corporal discipline to us. As we were growing up as teens, we both knew that each other's homes included spanking as part of what was normal in our lives. While my parents practiced DD as a couple as well, Wes' didn't. It took a little while for him to completely get into doing what he needed to do, but I suppose that is the way of all young Christian marriages.

I can't imagine what my life would be like without the assurance that Wes is standing watch over me to keep me safe and keep me in line with his strong hand, paddle and switch. I often wonder though. Does Wes need spanking. I didn't stop needing it when I became an adult. We talked about it and he was uncertain as well. He is a strong and masculine person but he also doesn't make it a gender role issue, especially since we have children of both genders. Is there anyone who has imput to share? The only thing we were absolutely sure of was that if he did need it, I wasn't going to be able to do it. It would just be too conflicting for me and would change his role as HOH for me and the kids.

 

I think that as the HOH, he should be willing to submit to such things when he screws up.  I am the HOH, but my wife does it to me: - as far as I'm concerned, I'm her protector and I shouldn't be inflicting pain upon her.  On the other hand, as the man, I should be willing to take it.



#18 Heat_for_the_seat

Heat_for_the_seat

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 51 posts
  • Age:57
  • Location:Palo Alto, CA
  • Gender:Male

Posted 01 July 2013 - 10:37 PM

I would say the true HOH doesn't need to submit to discipline from his wife or girlfriend. It would ruin the fantasy for me. I'm a switch, but I don't let my girlfriend spank me. I've gone to a disciplinarian for that. 

 

Actually being a switch is quite confusing and I would like to be completely dominant. But sometimes I definitely deserve a spanking either because I screwed up bigtime (perhaps by losing a large sum of money) or I've been inconsiderate towards my mate. A good question who should administer the spanking. There really needs to be a higher authority than the HOH. I wish we had a spanking church around in this century. 



#19 johnpaul

johnpaul

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 283 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 02 July 2013 - 07:53 AM

If the head does mess up....then he needs  to receive the same.....he is the head....the one in charge...the one who is accountable for him, his wife, his kids....it is all on him....if he is the head!!

 

JP



#20 NorCalMan

NorCalMan

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 27 posts
  • Age:54
  • Location:California
  • Gender:Male

Posted 08 July 2013 - 02:27 PM

My wife is the HoH but we discus and share in most decision making.

It is my behavior that many times get out of line and she is there as the disciplinarian. Not all offenses are spankable offenses. We both are in agreement of those that are and I have many times been on the receiving end of a well-deserved OTK bare bottom spanking. It reinforces “the rules”. I think it helps my wife to forgive me for the offense as well as bring us closer together.







0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users