[iamsorry]

Ok, last night I was giving my husband a much needed attitude adjustment. about ten minutes into the spanking he started moving about to the point it was starting to annoy me, and ultimately he ended up getting out of position and delaying his discipline. I am not sure what to do about this we talked about it briefly and he apologized and said he wants to be more accepting of his discipline. Ultimately we both agreed that this issue would have to be dealt with and it would be my decision although I would consider his input and suggestions. After some discussion he suggested we use restraints so that our little sessions would not be interupted again. I fully agree when he is being punished it is my place to decide when the appropriate level has been reached(barring some extreme circumstance or use of our safe word). So I am wondering if you think restraints is a good idea? I should add that neither one of us has any interest in bdsm aside from spanking.

Please let me know as I would like to deal with our little issue this weekend.

Thanks
Iam

[lilac]

I don't think that using restraints means that you're into anything but discipline. I think using restraints is not the same as the bondage that is part of BDSM. With how you describe the session you just had I think you might need them just to keep him still. As long as its consensual which it seems to be then perhaps during a punishment spanking you should try it once and see how it feels for you both. Let us know how it goes.

[redcheeks15]

My wife uses restraints on my only at my request, she gives me an idea how servere the punishment is going to be and then I get to decide. If I choose to be restrained, it cost me an extra 25 with the bath brush.......sometimes it's worth it and the easiest way out.

[jswannabme]

Here's a tip.....if you're right handed.....

Purchase a pair of nylon/neoprene cuffs (ours were called "comfy cuffs") that have a plastic clip between them that separates one from the other. They are secured around the wrists with a very strong velcro and they are very soft, so no marking. Secure one of these cuffs to your left wrist and the other around his right wrist, then fasten them together. When pulling him OTK, make sure to guide him under your left arm.

Using this method of restraint, you will gain much more control because you can either tuck his arm under him or hold it in the small of his back. It's a subtle restraint that offers added control for the spanker. If he's still able to wiggle too much, apply the age old "leg lock", and if you still need more control at that point, simply wrench up on his right arm and put him in a chicken wing. The discomfort of this position will put him back into place.

[MaxSUOTK]

My wife is using ankle and hand restraints on me when I get a long hard spanking on the bed. I bought them because I had noticed that I tend to move around a lot when she spanks me and I know I should stay still for my punishment. On late night spanking a few weeks ago I was getting the strap and I completely moved out of the way I know that was very wrong of me the next day I got it restrained. Also because she is a bit too small to really hole me over her knee being tied down makes me feel more like when I was a little boy over my dad or mom's knee no matter how hard I might have tried I could never get away.

[OwwItHz]

iamsorry, on 30 July 2010 - 07:18 AM, said:

Ok, last night I was giving my husband a much needed attitude adjustment. about ten minutes into the spanking he started moving about to the point it was starting to annoy me, and ultimately he ended up getting out of position and delaying his discipline.

After some discussion he suggested we use restraints so that our little sessions would not be interupted again.

I have a little different take on this. I think that if you have to restrain him in order to give him what you consider is an adequate punishment, you're doing something wrong. Of course there will be some involuntary movement - that's a human reaction to pain and if you try to prevent it, you'll be damaging more than just his butt. This is something that you, as the spanker, should learn to deal with, perhaps with an arm around his waist or a leg over his legs if he's over your knee. If he slides out of aiming range, just pull him back and continue.

But if he's in a position where he can consciously move out of range, for example bent over a chair or table, or lying on a bed, and he doesn't stay put, that's a different issue. You need to take care of that separately from whatever he's being punished for at the moment. If he's being spanked because he didn't mow the lawn, that's punishment and you should be free to give him what you think is reasonable (not necessarily all he can take or all you can give). But learning how to take his punishment is discipline and the two go hand-in-hand in a disciplinary relationship.

What you need to do is schedule some sessions where he's not being punished for a specific action (not even moving around when he's being punished), but rather, to train him to remain in position while you're punishing him. He should understand that in these sessions, he's not being punished for his actions during his punishments, but rather, that he's learning how to control himself when punishment is needed.

Think about it.

[spankyboy]

I would tend to agree with OIH.

It may seem odd but when searching spanking related sites I am bothered by images of bondage and find it repulsive. Domestic Discipline should always be consensual. If it takes restraints, it would seem the spankee is being taken beyond their limit. I have always felt that DD is far removed from B/D and S/M. A good spanking seems much more vanilla than a trip to the dark side of B/D.

I know iamsorry is not advocating sexual torture but restraints seem to change things drastically, at least for me it does. A good old fashioned spanking or paddling shouldn't require any more equipment beyond a hairbrush or paddle. "Outsiders" looking in on the spanko world often mistake it for B/D play, and that bothers me (again, not suggesting anything about iamsorry's arrangment).

I like to report to my disciplianrian with the same demeanor of reporting to the school principal, we both know I am there for a good paddling. Pants are lowered, underpants and bare bottom are paddled (ow! ow! ow!), pants are back in place and I am on my way. I would not want to report to a dominatrix or experience any of the props and trappings of a dungeon. A good old fashioned spanking seems very innocent, that is the experience I want.

just my two cents...

SB

[jubilee]

I'm not really getting into whether restraints are appropriate, but I think anyone using restraints absolutely must have a safe word, even if they haven't used it before, and should be prepared for the possibility that the spankee will have an intense emotional reaction, even if they suggested the restraints themselves. (I am speaking from some secondhand anecdotal experience here--I have never been restrained (and would not agree to it under any circumstances, including sex play)--but a (male) friend of mine had a totally unexpected and quite extreme reaction midway through a session.) I would urge being very careful with the use of restraints, especially if the ultimate goal is to escalate or intensify punishment--I think introducing restraints AND escalating to a new level of intensity should perhaps not be done in a single session, so that both you and he can understand what he is reacting to.

[STCC_OH]

Restraints, depending on your dynamic, might need to be a consent thing.

For me it is ALWAYS something discussed before they ever come out. Some people like them, others hate them, I have yet to find someone in the middle. But for me a good leg over their squirming legs or holding their arms out of the way helps a lot. If not, perhaps stopping and discussing their cooperation may be in order.

~Eric

[Joliet Joe]

Things being as they are and me being male, I most often give spankings not get them. But my spanking personality began with and is rooted in being the one spanked. As a large, strong man, the only way I am going to get a thorough, energetic ass whipping is either: 1) Find a female playmate who truly understands using additional, sterner spanking to incentivize me to keep still for what she started to give me - a woman such as I have not yet met, or; 2) Submit to restraint.

The simple fact is that the spanking I want (need? deserve?) to receive is more than I can hold still for. So, when the ropes come out of the drawer at the same time that the belt is being placed on the bed and my bottom is being bared, I rest secure in the certainty that my bottom is going to be well striped whether I can hold still for it or not.