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kirac

How can you tell if they're into spanking?

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So I am a girl very interested in getting spanked, as I have been for a long long time. I just feel like it would be the best way of discipline for me, simce I dont really have any right now. I have a lot of good guy friends I think could do it, but now there is one in particular.

He has mentioned spanking both lightheartedly and seriously multiple times (though never for me in particular) and has recently started being more of a controlling figure, telling me to stop talking back or something, which I need.

(FYI.. This is all completely non sexual)

Anyways, my question is how do you tell if someone is into spanking or if theyre dominant or something without asking them? What should I do?

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A very basic start might be to rent a mainstream movie with spanking in it, such as McClintock, and see how they react.

Another might be to act bratty to see what kind of response you might elicit.

Or, find a reason to swat HIM on the bottom sometime.

Just a couple of ideas for putting out initial "feelers" with your friend!

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1. I have always like the direct approach, tell him of your need, if he thinks it is a sexual thing have him read this forum on what spanking does for me.

2. Leave a paddle, hair brush or good spanking belt laying around where he will see it, and act bratty when he does. But at some point sooner then later you two need to talk about spanking and where you are and where he is. If you are thinking discipline and he is thinking erotic there is a problem!

3. The movie idea is good and so is leaving an article about spanking laying around.

4. When you two are someplace and you see bratty acting people say, Boy-o-boy they sure need a trip to the woodshed! and watch his reaction.

5. If none of that works bring him to my house I will give him a spanking lesson, of course with your permission... LOL

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If he is into spanking he would like the direct approach. And hinting at it is also a great way, and take the opportunity to dare him to spank you when he happens to mention it. That would be the perfect time. But I would also worry about how much 'controlling' you said he is starting to do. This maybe a red flag and not a good thing. Just be careful and go into this with your eyes open. Don't become his punching bag or doormat. Just my opinion.

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You have some good responses above. How controlling he wants to be may be problematic. You need to be ready to bail out the moment he seems scarey. If you are good friends yoiu coiuld give him a playful swat and see what happens. When I was in HS and before I knew anything I had a date with a girl who liked to hit my shoulder. when I said something she did not like. After the second time I warned her she'd get a hand print on her butt of she hit me again. She did and I still remember how my hand stung after really swatting thse tight Levis. She did not punch me again. Alas, alack, I had no idea how to pursue it, really didn't want to yet. I now remember my lack of experience with regret.

You could just ask: "You know, ________ , I'm having trouble with ___________ and I don't ike to act that way. Would you be willing to give me a swat whenever I do that? You will find out 1] if he's willing; 2] if he has proper self restraint and 3] if you really like it on sa regular basis." You both are new to this. Go slow and keep safe. Most men do not mind swatting a butt.:rolleyes:

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I was quite lucky when I was young in that several boyfriends I had raised the subject themselves in a jokey way, i.e. saying something like "if you don't behave yourself I'll spank you" or something like that. And that gave me an opportunity to indicate that it was something I wanted them to do. It was always very sexual for me though.

Suggesting spanking as 'discipline' to my husband was fairly easy because he had already been used to spanking me for 'fun'. Possibly it might be easier to start by suggesting you find it sexy, and then introduce the idea of discipline when he is used to spanking you for 'fun' as it were. On the other hand if you really don't find it at all sexual that might not be a good thing for you. Perhaps you had better just suggest serious spanking first of all.

Louise

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Even totally vanilla people joke about spanking... and there are LOTS of reasons for a guy being "controlling"... so I'd tread lightly here. I also wouldn't assume this is all "non-sexual." Might be for YOU, but he might not be 100% on board with that.

I think a good approach is to let joking and teasing lead into you asking questions. "Have you ever spanked anyone... would you... how would you do it." Get a conversation going, and see how that goes.

I can share in my experience I've had very little luck approaching people about spanking in vanilla settings. I see all these green lights... and they lead into blank "huh" stares... lol. It can work though, I'd just not recommend you exposing yourself too early (letting him know you're TOTALLY into spanking before you really know anything about where he stands).

~Todd

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If he seems more interested in a woman's bottom than her top, he very well could be into spanking.

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