Genesis Valenna

Crying. Is it hard to do?

32 posts in this topic

Crying is one of the hardest things for me to do,even when in pain.

Half of it is from being used to keeping a strong front for everyone else.

The other is.....I embarrass easily. I find crying to be very embarrassing.

I know when I am getting punished or maintenance spankings,I should be able to cry freely,or be more embarrassed of getting spanked than about crying.

So,I was wondering if anyone else has a hard time crying when getting spanked,or even just in general.

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i know where you're coming from! unless i'm on some mind altering drugs, i find it VERY difficult to cry. my last batch of prescription meds (to quit smoking) made me cry at everything. i stopped taking them because it was freaking me out. i'm expected to be the strong one in my world, too, so aside from it being difficult for me to submit to a spanking in the first place (even though i need or want one)....it takes a lot to get me to cry. i thought i was odd for that. yay i'm not alone! *hugs*

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If I *want* to cry, I never can.... if I feel I should cry, or try to cry it won't happen.... For me crying has nothing to do with the pain, which is funny because sometimes I still think I can or want to be "Spanked to tears" if it's only through pain it won't happen, not with a spanking...

I can cry so easily at other times, I could get a paper cut and burst into tears lol! I guess it's because when I'm being spanked and trying to cry, I'm trying to maintain too much control and will it to happen, but crying requires a bit of letting go and letting down your guard... it's mostly mindset...

When I do cry during spanking, it's usually out of shame, humiliation, or guilt... it's because I'm honestly remorseful and feel really bad and ashamed.... scolding or a lecture almost always brings up some tears for me... and nothing starts the water works more than when he actually makes me look him in the eyes as he tells me his disappointment and what I did wrong...

If I need an emotional release and am just stress with everything building up inside, if I'm not crying before the spanking I will rarely cry after, I've got something going and it'll take more than a spanking to get it out... however if I'm already teared up, crying and going into hysterics, a spanking allows me to pour out those tears in a safe and comforting way? if that makes sense

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I cry VERY easily. usually before the punishment starts. More out of feeling bad about upsetting someone I care about than anything. I definetely agree with you, it is very embarassing. Makes you feel like a small child again.

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I have yet to cry during a spanking, but did come really close last time. What's funny is that I will often cry when I am sad, frustrated, or upset. I know that I am safe and can let my guard down to get to that emotional release that I really need, but that's a lot easier said than done.

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I know that I am safe and can let my guard to get to that emotional release that I really need, but that's a lot easier said than done.

I agree completely! I trust my Mentors a LOT. But I still can't get myself to cry in front of them,without thinking I am somehow disappointing them by doing so. :(

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It's all in your mindset. Your mentor is your confessor, your confidant. If you cry he'll certainly not think the less of you -- he may respect you for trusting him/her enough that you do feel free to release your emotions. No amount of spanking will trigger those tears -- it has to truly come from within.

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I've never tried to cry... I've tried NOT to cry many times, but I haven't tried to cry just to "get more out of the spanking" or whatever. I don't think crying completes a spanking necessarily... the point getting across is what's most important.

Usually when I cry, it's because I'm going through something VERY emotional, and getting spanked most definitely falls in that category. As several others have said already, it isn't really a "crying because it hurts" type of thing. For me personally, I end up crying because of the many emotions associated with the spanking.

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I've never tried to cry... I've tried NOT to cry many times, but I haven't tried to cry just to "get more out of the spanking" or whatever.

Ya,I'm not wanting to cry just to say "I've been spanked to tears" or anything. I just want to be able to release my emotions.

I also agree that I think it's a mindset issue. I guess I just have a really big issue with trusting people to not push me away when I break down. :(

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Crying.....it's an emotional breakdown that I can't succumb to.

10 years or so ago, I was able to cry due to normal things...stress, frustration, physical pain, others hurting, a death, etc. I had some changes in my life and dealt with some traumatic events....I closed up, went deep inside myself. Then 4 years later I dealt with the suicide of someone I dearly loved. I found out about it when the police came to my door at 4:00 am. I maintained for about 15 hours and then I lost it. I stood outside screaming at the Heavens and crying like I've never done before. So many things ended for me that day....including my ability to show emotion. I closed up tighter than ever and just felt that nothing was worth me shedding tears over anymore. I still maintain those feelings today.

Now, if I get to the point of needing to cry I go to my "safe place." I separate mind from body so to speak and go deep within myself until the pain, frustration, etc begins to subside.

You know what? That's so wrong. I just can't fight my way back to my emotional side. Part of it is needing to be the strong one all the time and part of it is a fear of losing myself and the control I've found.

Crying is a very healthy emotional release. It has such healing powers for the heart and soul. Spanking would never get me there, but the words spoken during, the tone of voice, the gentle touches....I'm hoping those will someday.

Crying should never cause embarrassment. It heals, it shows remore, it takes away guilt. Believe me, holding in your emotions just causes more pain....I live with it everyday.

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Crying - how I so want to be able to reach that. I cried for a short period when my husband passed - I should say I cried a lot when I was alone - but when others could see I cried during the service but even then very little. I was trained to not show pain - and since pain and crying used to go hand in hand I have trouble crying now. I have so many walls up and my emotions are so buried deep within that I so want to have that emotional break - I so need that break - but while I trust my spanker he isnt my mentor who I trust more and have more a emotional attachment with. I hope if I ever do get to meet my mentor I will be able to say I finally had that major break and to see how it feels to cry and let all those bottled emotions out.

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Crying was something that I could not do either until about year and 4 months or so ago. For me, it was a matter of the bond deepening between Mama and I. I have an advantage, I think, because I live with my mentor. But I think that the deeper the bond becomes the easier it is to be vulnerable and the "disappointment factor" goes way up. It just hurts so much to know you have fallen short. Before this time, I had had some pretty severe spankings with no tears at all. Now, it is not really dependent on the severity of the spanking at all, just the fact that I messed up in her eyes.

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I'd say I tear up but don't do a noisy cry. Sometimes it's even early into the spanking which I then take the rest of stoically, or with only a vocalization with each smack.

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I lost my Mother and Father within a Year of each other when I was 18.
My Mother from complications from Cancer Treatment,and my Father from Lung Cancer,

I wasn't allowed to cry for their funerals. Yes,you read that right. I wasn't ALLOWED to cry.

Why? Cause everyone else has always saw me as the strong one,which is true. I was the one from age 13 that took care of Mother when she first got cancer and Father was away at work offshore. At 16 I was holding down 2 jobs to help Father pay for the growing medical bills for Mother.

I was the one who signed the paper to NOT revive my Mother should she stop breathing,because she was in so much pain for so long. I was also the one to go claim her body and set her affairs in order,cause Father was too upset from the news of her passing.

Everyone told me that if I showed such emotion,it would upset everyone further. They needed someone to be strong.

It is because of those people that I have a PTSD response whenever someone says, "Life's not fair. Suck it up!" I go Bat Crap crazy!

It is my goal,to one day be able to show whatever emotion I have,without fear or shame. It is a hard goal,but one I work toward every day and night.

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Crying is very hard to do for many.

I have found that when I get to know the woman about her life, family, life and even back ground. I can touch of a very personal subject dear to her heart.

Only this way with toughing her personal emotions can crying can happen.

I have deal giving some serious spanking with out crying but having a personal experience, emotions and etc the spanking doesn't have to be that serious or hard. Finding that story or happening or emotion is the most difficult as spanking is easy.

I like to talk to the woman and touch her mental side even before giving a spanking. The spanking gives the the route for it to come to the top.

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I agree with so many here on this thread. I have been told I can take one heck of a paddling and not shed a tear. That is true. I remember the first time I was ever punished. My spanker referred to me as a dead horse. He got nervous after such a long time of really hard spanking and I just laid there. My heart was hard as stone. I had been thorugh an incredibly hard time with my husband's deployment and I just didn't have any feelings left. Little by little that hardness was spanked away and when the tears did come they didn't stop for a few days.

I sincerely pray for each one of you here that desire such a release in your emotions. Be kind to yourself and be patient. With enough soul searching and enough genuine discipline, I am certain the day will come for a tremendous heart healing for you.

The best to all of you,

Kacie

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I find all of this interesting. Crying is a personal emotional release. I do my own crying in private. When I was younger I have wondered why a spanking partner did not cry. It made me think if I wasn't fulfilling her needs. It took me a while to learn to "read" emotional and physical responses to the "task at hand". I didn't have a mentor at the start. There was no Internet back then. Each one of us is a unique personality. There is no shame in crying or not crying. Maybe it is something that you can talk about with your partner, outside of a session.

Jake

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Very rarely-I may leak a couple of tears but mostly I'm to dead inside to cry. But once-and I never forget this ever-after a very hard and emotional spanking-the woman put her arms around me,(we were standing)and using her hand started slapping my bottom,not real hard but after what I had just gotten I felt it and said "cmon hunny,you can cry now I know you want to,please cry your breaking my heart"etc and I started shaking and I bawled my eyes out.And for a very long time.Since then I've done that to a couple of very tough hurting girls and they did the same thing. Maybe some of us just need to be told its OK or that its even an option.

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Maybe some of us just need to be told its OK or that its even an option.

I Think that is a wonderful idea. We are normally told it's ok to cry BEFORE a spanking,but rarely AFTER a spanking.

And thanks for sharing your story. :)

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Hello all, I'm a 61 year old Mentor in Michigan. In my experience there are just some women that just can't or won't cry. As I've read in this topic I find it's not just the pain of a spanking but the lecturing, scolding and especially actually , being told that you are disappointing or hurting someone with your bad behavior.( Does it make you feel good even for a minute when you swear at a friend or fellow worker Remember how this spanking feels, is the good feeling you got better than what's happening to your bottom?) As some of you have said, it is more mind set than the pain. To achieve that there HAS to be trust, that comes with time. I don't know if this helps anyone, but it is a true Mentor/Disciplinarians opinion.

Spnkrdom52

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I find it's not just the pain of a spanking but the lecturing, scolding and especially actually , being told that you are disappointing or hurting someone with your bad behavior.( Does it make you feel good even for a minute when you swear at a friend or fellow worker Remember how this spanking feels, is the good feeling you got better than what's happening to your bottom?)

I was cringing just from reading your little lecture there. x.x Yes,disappointing someone I care about can make me wanna melt into a puddle of sorrow. :(

I also agree,there needs to be trust. Sometimes trust can come quickly,and other times it can take a while. Once trust is gained,and you feel safe from that trust,I believe things start to fall into place.

Also,I have learned that not shedding tears,doesn't mean you aren't crying on the inside. Tears can come from the heart,as well as the eyes. :)

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I was spanked really hard in 2010 and I didn't cry I think the reason is I needed a womans hand instead of a guys hand

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